Tyler drove up to the gate of his neighborhood. He saw the leering grins of the three security guards on duty. Oh great, he thought to himself as he slowed down. This again.

He rolled down his window as he came to a stop. “Hi, fellas. How’s your day going?”

“License and registration?” The red-haired guard’s eyes burned with ferocity.

Tyler already had that ready. “Really, guys? We go through this every time. You know I live here.” He handed over the paperwork.

The hairy guard shuffled nearby; he scrutinized Tyler closely. “You match the description of someone who just knocked over a liquor store, out in the nearby town.” The burly guard already had his trunk open, and was rifling through it.

Tyler sighed. “You know I’m not like that. Besides, you can see what’s in here.”

The red-haired guard punched up something on his PDA. “This isn’t your car.”

Tyler let out a small chuckle. “No, it’s my stepdad’s car. We don’t have the same last name. You know that too.”

The burly guard slammed the trunk shut. At that instant, the hairy guard whipped out his baton and held it menacingly, twitching. “Don’t sass us! We could strip this car down to the frame if we wanted!”

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Tyler smiled wryly. “My stepdad would be pissed if you did that. Do you really want to answer to him?”

The security guards froze. None of them spoke for several seconds. Tyler gazed at them, unimpressed. “Can I go now?”

As the red-haired guard handed Tyler his paperwork, a growl stirred from the burly guard. “We’ve got our eyes on you. Don’t get out of line, you little punk!”

“Guys, look, if you’re really this bored, I can bring you by something. Some of my mom’s cookies? Games and puzzles? Comic books? Whatever you like!”

“Move along, sir!” The hairy guard waved Tyler through, as another car pulled up behind him. He drove off without saying another word.

This was getting out of hand. He’d have to talk to his stepfather about this.

As Tyler approached the gate the next morning, the security guards were nowhere to be found. He was surprised to find gleaming metal robots jump out of the guard shack. They stopped him.

“License and registration?” The metallic voice vibrated with authority.

Tyler smiled as he handed them over. Finally, some impartial justice! He could get used to this.

An alarm sounded from within the robot guard; the other two followed quickly with their own. “You are wanted for felony vandalism! Hands in the air, now!”

Tyler’s heart skipped a beat as he thrust his arms upwards. What was going on?

All three robot guards belched a staccato imitation of a laugh. “Just kidding. We hope our fun-loving antics have endeared you to us. On your way, citizen!” The robot guard handed Tyler his paperwork and motioned him forward.

Tyler couldn’t leave fast enough. He missed the old guards already.