Wow, I didn’t think fish would die that way outside of fiction.
Now that the squirrel mentioned it, it seemed a bit fishy that things in the pool would literally start going belly up like that.
“…was I truly so filthy…?”
Getting slapped by a little squirrel paw was nothing to sneeze at. Awwww at the cuteness, or perhaps flee to your nearest medical professional with concerns of rabies, sure. But sneeze? No. Thus I neither sneezed nor did one of the other two options. I did, however, laugh.
Pffft, hahaha! Did his widdle paw swap your fwace?
“W-what was that for!?”
Oh, oh this was good. Where’s the popcorn when you need it? The squirrel was standing on a particularly large fish carcass, using it as a platform, gesticulating and marking his points with sharp little jabs of a claw. Give him a worn suit and a ruler or pointer and it was the perfect image of a classic professor. Except it was a squirrel.
Meh, close enough. Better, even, given how that twitching, floofy tail just kept sucking your focus in. I swear this guy had some kind of passive Technique that was amplifying the draw of the cute.
“But… but I’m not!”
“Oh Heavens… PILL!” Uh-oh. Had I been unknowingly poisoning my host? She didn’t seem ill in any way. “PILL!!”
“ANSWER ME PILL!”
<-yell at a mere->
“YOU BETTER EXPLAIN THIS!”
<-cultivation resource?>
“BECAUSE PILL CAN TALK!”
Have you ever seen a squirrel look shocked, aghast, confused, greedy, then land at doubtful? I’ll be honest, I did not think a squirrel’s face muscles were that dynamic. Maybe because it was a Beast squirrel. Maybe it was the powerful Cultivator which had taken it over.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
I’ll be honest, I really didn’t know.
“What do you do mean you didn’t know?”
I’ve been purifying all of the food you’ve eaten, breaking down anything which was causing damage, aiding with digestion, mixing things together to increase the effectiveness of their Qi.
Holy crap, had I been doing what I think I’d been doing?
“Oh god he’s been practicing Alchemy in my stomach.”
“No. No, he’s real. He took over my body after I swallowed him. Nearly burnt out all of my cultivation from the strain. He told me, he’s been messing with the things I eat.” She gestured blankly towards the fire where the last of her clothes were drying, at the little dried bits of roasted mushrooms which had been dropped. “He’s been vetting the mushrooms, roots, herbs, and other plants. I’d always been taught most of those were deadly, but nothing had happened.”
Fluffer Nutjob still looked unconvinced, but I felt something from the squirrel I’d felt several times now, though this time it was far more intense. He was feeling me out with his Spiritual Sense. This time it was so much stronger than my own that I couldn’t hide from it.
While I’ve got you on the line, why don’t we chat?
Are you saying you can hear me now?
To that end, I extended my Spiritual Sense out to the squirrel. Feeling that dense, powerful Soul Core within it was always unnerving. While my Crystal Core was pretty damned impressive, having recently stepped into Nascent Soul, I’d yet to form a completed Soul Core. Completing that process would signify the breakthrough into the next realm. Was I jealous? Of course not! Not jealous at all!
Of course I was freaking jealous. Actually, if this squirrel guy had only been at peak Nascent Soul, having his body killed and inhabiting the squirrel would truly have been a temporary setback. Instead he’d been physically ‘killed’ and his Soul ripped from his body at either near peak Core Harmonization or even into the Fused Core realm, when the body and the Soul ceased being separate things.
The fact that he’d survived with only a few marbles loose and a self grooming obsession was nothing short of incredible. He’d literally had his very being ripped apart and half of it destroyed. Damn. In contrast, when my Soul was separated from my body, I’d had almost no metaphysical attachment to it at all. Compared to a Fused Core Cultivator, a regular person was sort of like a Soul playing a console game piloting your body. What happened to the character really didn’t affect you at all.
Alright, can you hear me now?
<…are you attempting to communicate, pill spirit? You are coming through with terrible alacrity.>
A little adjustment, bit more focus…
How ‘bout now?
…and now?
The hell part of that was gently!?
The hell I’m going to let you try and bypass Terra so you can avoid teaching her!
Little squirrel paws came together in the universal pose of deviousness, claws tapping excitedly against each other.
“He’s creeping me out Pill…”
We both waited. The setup, it was killing me. Just out with it already you deranged rodent!
<…I can be petted at the same time! Mwahaha!>
Aaaaand there it is.
Terra slapped her face and groaned.
“You two are the most insane Masters.”
I’m with you Terra, but I’m pretty sure he’s way more nuts than I am.
The extra loud groan was totally worth it.