The security of privacy is an important thing. Dan knew this better than most due to his unique mana. On more than one occasion he quickly shunted his awareness away from a house as the occupant’s privacy became paramount. It seemed to Dan that once you reached a certain age, that became everyone’s favourite thing to do.

His own room quickly became a sanctuary. Between the general demeanour of the teachers, most of whom were like Guan Po Shang and quick to punish by fist, and the stares of other students, who saw him as something other, Dan was keen to spend time in his room. He still rarely slept when he could help it, and used nearly all of his spare time to meditate.

His room was a simple thing but to Dan it was majestic. The fact that it was a single bedroom was no issue, with a desk and comfortable bed, it was much more luxurious than his previous room. It had a breeze, and was actually pleasant to be in, unlike the sweltering sideroom next to the furnace. Without the constant beat of hammer on metal, or swarm of busy shoppers, Dan could concentrate easier.

So why was he unable to stop the tears? Dan used to revel in privacy but right now all he felt was alone. A phantom pain continued to tear into Dan’s heart, right next to his core, when he thought of Park Man-Shik. It ripped away Dan’s self-control more than pain or exhaustion had. The sadness turned into frustration at himself, which of course just made it harder not to think about the gaping hole inside.

Calm it. Dan was demanding a lot of himself. Even though he knew that, Dan dealt with problems by observing. That was even more important when it came to himself, a lesson constantly told to him by Park Man-Shik. Even as the memory caused pain, Dan could hear his words.

One can be intelligent without being wise. Knowing oneself is wisdom, Simple.

Even at that time, Dan couldn’t be sure whether he was being called a name or whether Park Man-Shik had been stating difficulty. The latter seemed less likely, considering the amount of people who Dan had met he would consider wise.

Okay, Dan thought, who am I?

An orphan? No, Dan did not define himself by his birth. Others certainly would. They would hear the Ah in his name and think that was all he was, but Dan did not.

A fighter? Dan could fight. He had never actually lost a fight, but he also knew that he had never had an opponent he didn’t outclass. That would change now that he lived within the walls of the main family dojo. It would never be his true calling though.

As his eyes continued to burn, Dan angrily wondered if his true self was just a crybaby? It would certainly fit, he thought bitterly. A steadying breath brought him out of that particular downward spiral. That wasn’t the answer either.

All three of those options were too… complex. A person has a history but that history is not who they are moment to moment. Dan looked at the soul badge he had carried for years, a bracelet of simple brown leather. The white stone within was closer to the answer than Dan’s previous guesses. Something more basic than history or desire could describe. Maybe then, we’re all the same. Maybe, Dan thought, we’re all just Simple.

He smiled. That was the truth of it. Dan was Simple. He had wants, desires, fears and anxieties, just like every living creature. The tears he felt were just reactions to those things, not something to hold anger over. He felt sad now, but that was because he had been happy before, and he simply wanted to be happy again. That was all very simple.

The seemingly unending flow of tears slowly dried. Feeling exceptionally tired, both from a long day of leaping onto increasingly tall rocks with increasingly heavy loads of water and from the receding emotions, Dan made a decision he rarely ever made. As he dropped onto the bed, a bamboo wood frame and fur mattress greeted him. There was a pleasant bounce to the bed as Dan fell onto it face first. A pillow full of duck down was also very well met and Dan had a moment of jealousy for others who actively enjoyed sleeping.

Tonight, he had decided he was going to join them for once. Unaccustomed to intentionally sleeping, it did take a few tosses and turns to achieve comfort. When it was found, however, sleep seemed impossible to avoid.

As impossible to avoid as the nightmare.

There wasn’t a true lucidity to Dan in this dream, so he could not actually have shut his eyes and looked away. Normally, Dan just experienced the repeated sensation of impacting Jaia, the absolutely cataclysmic blows as each part of him fell away. The quick dismantling of his being. The slow descent of a tiny piece of himself as it gently falls into a teacup.

Normally, that is all that happens.

Maybe it was a change in his sense of self, maybe it was just the evolution of a dream that had long been stagnant. Tonight’s dream was different. Similar, but different. The perspective was changed this time. The collision of the falling pieces still occurred, but Dan was not those pieces this time. He was something different. It was not more pleasant, but it was also less jarring.

In this version of the dream, Dan was the rain. He felt the scorch of the falling Dan pieces, their speed giving them intense heat. Dan parted and they fell, he joined in on the descent, tumbling in millions of pieces. The feeling of sinking was more pronounced in this variation of the nightmare, and it was just as dreadful. Like being dragged into an inky abyss before dissipating. Dan hated this part.

With a yell, Dan was awake. The sun had poked him in the eyes, a window perfectly positioned to allow it’s radiance to become an alarm. It took a few disorientated moments for him to remember where he was, who he was and that he was okay. It was always like this after waking up. Without needing to think about it, Dan slipped out of the bed and donned clean clothes. Then, he crossed his feet, spun around in a flourish that he enjoyed, and landed on his rear.

Meditation was Dan’s weapon against the tumultuous actions of his own mind. He settled quickly, grabbing the “front” of his mana flow and concentrating on it. He took his time as he traced the mana around his core, as though he were gently searching for a crack or a bump. No divot or blemish to be found, he progressed past that level of control into the signature cycling of a triangle ranked practitioner.

Dan sat like this, in the weak morning sun of a cold autumn day, and cycled. He repeated the motions in his mana channels again and again and again. Without noticing he was doing it due to his focus on himself, Dan retracted the mana web he kept splayed at all times. Subconsciously, there was a part of him chasing the feeling that he had brushed against in the presence of the Guan family elders. It required something more than churning his inner energy in different directions.

The breakthrough was tantalisingly close.

Unfortunately for Dan, a distraction was much closer. With his mana being held close, Dan didn’t notice that someone was approaching his room. He desperately hoped that he had kept the yelp quiet when the knocking broke his concentration. He must have been so lost that time had slipped by without his notice. Indeed, the sun had risen enough to darken his room, the light no longer touching the windows.

“Up, Ah Dan,” a feminine voice called to him over the loud beating upon his door, “please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

Dan had already opened the door to leave by the time she finished speaking. The girl who stood before Dan, clearly shocked at the speed with which he had answered, was Guan Fa Lian. An actual member of the main branch family, she was not given much in the way of special treatment at the Jiaoduo. Dan had not been at the school long enough to know the politics of it, but had been there long enough to be caught up in them.

Having one of Guan Po Dia’s daughters in charge of the strange new child with the weak looking soul was one of the ways these politics presented themselves.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“Apologies, I was lost in thought.” Dan was truly ashamed, but this was due to his time with Park Man-Shik and a massively twisted sense of punctuality. Living with the intense blacksmith had been a trying time, and whether or not the benefits of living with the man outweighed the trauma would have to wait to be seen.

“Right…” The girl trailed off and walked away. She looked no different to the other girls her age really, maybe a little taller. Dan, however, was a little entranced by her. She moved through his mana with a feline kind of prowess. Without intending to, Dan spied on the way she walked with his aura. There was a confidence in her stride, a sureness in her step, that came only through years of belonging. She walked as though she owned the ground she walked on. Dan realised that in a way, she did. It was a surreal thought for himself, who only had a knife, a metal ball and some thriving potted plants to his name.

Dan had a small section of himself holding on to the chagrin of being interrupted. It was not Guan Fa Lian’s fault, he knew, but still. He would have to try to return to that feeling when he returned to his room that night. Today was going to be another very long day, even for Dan who’s days were very long on average.

Guan Fa Lian would not usually accompany Dan, he would be expected to find his own way to his scheduled lessons. A task which Dan was particularly capable of, simply following the congregation until his mana brushed against that day’s teacher.

During the last week, Dan had gotten much better at constraining his mana, lest he receive the ire of his elders. As such, he wasn’t observing Fa Lian in the way that would have made him blush.

He considered this his “polite mode”, while a more careless spraying of mana was his “alert mode”. In polite mode, his mana danced away from other’s. It allowed Dan to still see like he normally did, but people were blank spaces in his field of attention, rather than bright flames of information. It was still taking some getting used to but it was probably a better way to experience the world, Dan conceded to himself. Knowing that someone was about to speak because you felt their vocal cords tighten, or knowing if they were about to fall before they fell, did take the surprise out of things. Not knowing was its own kind of fun, Dan was only now discovering.

“So…” Dan said limply. Guan Fa Lian did not turn around, and Dan’s general lack of interaction with people his own age was holding him back. With a customer in a shop, you have their attention until the transaction is done, Dan did not know how to actually be interesting, himself. They kept walking, the silence becoming more and more awkward for Dan by the second. Without conversation though, Dan occupied his mind by trying to find out more about Fa Lian by sight.

He hadn’t seen it before, her soul badge was not flaunted, but Dan caught a glimpse of the unmistakable stone as they walked. His heart filled with strange emotions. Jealousy was foremost but there was a mix of other burgeoning feelings at the sight of her gorgeous, multi-faceted soul badge. It glimmered like an opal, with different sharp colours when you looked at different angles. Dan had spent countless hours since the age of eight twisting and turning his own soul badge to try and see a faint shading. This girl had nebulas in her soul.

He wondered how plain she must think him. His face was rough, years in the smithy. Both the heat and the lifestyle Park Man-Shik had demanded had aged Dan’s skin in a way that marked him apart from her. It made him uncomfortable, though he couldn’t state exactly why. Dan rarely felt uncomfortable in his own skin, but right now he resented his own station.

A resentment that threatened to increase as they reached the location of their next class. The start of that location, at least. They were early, which Dan was happy to see. Fa Lian left him as soon as she was able, not joining anyone but choosing to stand alone. Her choice became forced on Dan. Just like earlier, he realised how little contact he had with children his own age. The distance between Dan and his peers started to feel intimidating and Dan soon had no way to cross that gap and begin making friends.

Luckily, this was no such issue for Hyun Soon. Standing at least a head over the other students, even those older than him, the boy was impossible to miss. He had short black hair, with cheeks that seemed to hold his whole childhood. Not overweight, but definitely bulkier than most. “It’s weird not being the new one any more,” said the large boy, rubbing something off of his hand and onto his trouser leg before proffering the hand to Dan and introducing himself. On his wrist was hanging a soul badge similar to Dan’s in design, though Hyun Soon’s soul badge glowed a fierce orange, like a hot coal.

“Guan Ah Dan,” taking the offered hand, Dan happily returned the introduction. The other boy seemed around Dan’s age, but he truly towered over the other students gathering in the yard in front of the forest. Dan tilted his head towards the treeline, saying “are you worried at all?”

The Sasin forest was renowned throughout the school. When word travelled that all students of triangle rank were to enter together, everyone was abuzz. Those who had been sent in as training - or punishment - were horrified for them, while others who had only heard the fantastical rumours of monsters within seemed disappointed to be left out.

“Not really. I think Guan Byun Chuk said that there are actually teachers waiting to take people away if they get hurt.” The casual way he referenced other students made sense, he was clearly much more gregarious than Dan could manage. Dan was also glad to hear that the dangers of the Sasin forest were more bark than bite, though the need for safety measures meant that it couldn’t all be rumour.

“What was that about being new?” Dan asked, hopeful that this time he could keep a conversation flowing.

“Before you came,” Hyun Soon had a relaxed smile as he spoke, “I was the new kid. Even after it had been three years since I arrived.” The boy shuddered dramatically and grinned, Dan finding that he was grinning too although if there were truth to his words it just made Dan himself even more of an oddity.

“I’m happy to take the burden. I think people will find names to call me whether they focus on my being new or not.” Then it happened. Dan was waiting for it. He saw the other boy’s eyes shoot to his soul badge and then caught the pity that flashed in them. Dan tried to steel himself from the coming sneer.

“Wow,” Hyun Soon exclaimed, “you must be really special, if your soul is so clear.”

Dan winced, but it was a reaction without stimulus. He looked at the tall boy with eyes of wonder. Hyun Soon had no idea what an impact his words had just made, even Dan was struggling with them.

Clear? Not… empty, but… pure?

Fortunately for Dan the teacher in control of the upcoming trial had decided that it was now time to appear. Dan sensed them before they saw them, hoping he would be forgiven for not retracting his mana right away. Like a falling stone, she dropped into my perception from above. Hyun Soon followed my eyes and saw her land. Others in the area shrieked, screamed or otherwise expressed surprise. Dan caught his intrigued look at himself but he was focused on their teacher.

She stood impatiently, tapping her foot with her arms crossed. Everyone was quietly watching her, but that didn’t seem to be enough, so she kept bouncing her foot and glaring. She didn’t look much older than most of the students here, but that wouldn’t be true. Once you reached a certain level of mastery, even ageing slowed. This woman looked to be in her twenties, but could easily be twice that depending on when she became a square ranker.

Her clothes were strange. Most teachers opted for sensible robes, some choosing to wear the Guan family colours of green and gold, some choosing robes that matched their own soul badges. A pair of black boots, form fitting, tight trousers and a shirt that had an exposed middle were not standard uniform for the faculty, Dan was certain. Dan did not, but other students blushed at her appearance. Dan had glimpsed much more skin than their teacher was showing due to his ability, it would take more than a bit of stomach skin to embarrass him.

Hyun Soon was one of the gawkers. Dan understood it, their teacher was distractingly attractive. It wasn’t like the other students would have felt her essence in the way Dan had.

When she fell into his aura, he hadn’t been prepared. He had, by accident, taken a full account of their teacher. That is, until her own mana had bitten him. He had no other way to describe the sensation, but he had pulled his awareness away as quickly as he could. Dan was still nursing a small part of his core that was stinging.

Enough time had passed apparently, or she had finished inspecting her charges, and their teacher began to speak.

“In the Sasin forest are some of the weakest monsters the Guan family have bothered to capture,” she began. She spoke quickly, as though by rushing she might be done sooner, and she clearly felt her time was currently being wasted. “You will go inside and retrieve a mana stone from one of the monsters. Failure to do so will result in your ejection from Guan.”

“Excuse me, teacher..?” The girl, a confident looking youth that was stood near Guan Fa Lian, stepped forward. “Does that mean we would be removed from the Jaioduo for failing?” She didn’t seem worried, and by the nasty look she gave a shyer looking girl in her group, it was clear she meant it as a threat to the other girl.

“You misheard, stupid girl.” The confident girl looked like she had been slapped in the face. “You will be removed from Guan. It is my decision that you be exiled for weakness.”

“Exile?!” The girl interrupted, shouting over the teacher. “For failing a school lesson? That’s outrageous.”

“What’s outrageous,” the teacher’s eyes narrowed as her glare fell squarely on the girl. Dan felt his mana scatter as something shot through it. The girl dropped to the floor with a howl of pain. “Is that you think this is a debate. It is not.” Whatever she was doing stopped and the girl on the floor gasped gulping breaths and shook. “I am Guan Yo Jilpa and my word is law. You have three days to produce a mana stone or we will remove the chaff and be better off for it. Begin.”

There was a stunned silence. Was that it? Students were looking around nervously, hoping that it was a joke or that some further explanation would come.

Then, without a word, Guan Fa Lian simply started sprinting. Across the wide field of green grass that separated the school from the Sasin forest. Dan wasted no time in following suit, but quickly decided against that. Guan Fa Lian had essentially disappeared, she was fast. She would reach the forest and likely complete her task before others even made it there.

There were smarter ways to do this, and Dan needed to rely on wits when he didn’t have power. He needed his dagger, for a start. He had been rushed when he left this morning and had left it on his bed, placed there so he wouldn’t forget. Guan Fa Lian had distracted him more than he thought, it seemed. When Dan told Hyun Soon that he was going to get his weapon, the large boy’s eyes lit up and he said he would do the same.

“Get prepared, meet up back here in thirty minutes?”

“Sounds good.” Hyun Soon had just assumed that they were going to be a team and Dan felt like he finally knew what it meant to have a best friend. It would definitely feel a little like this.

“Um, sorry,” came a voice that was trying very hard not to be a whisper, and failing, “do you maybe want a third?” Dan had felt her approaching, but had learned not to react before people wanted to be seen. So he had hidden the slowly growing smile. This would probably work. He looked to Hyun Soon, who in turn shrugged and deferred to Dan.

“That would be fantastic. I’m Guan Ah Dan,” He said, Hyun Soon also introducing himself at the same time, “we’re going to get some weaponry, do you need time?”

The girl hesitated before saying that, no, she didn’t have any weapons. “Sorry,” she apologised. “I’m Guan Xiaomei, by the way.” Happy to wait in the field, Dan and Hyun Soon left their third member to gather their supplies.

Thirty minutes later, the last to head towards the forest, the three set off.