Blistering, thorny agony exploded in Dan’s face. He felt sure that he was dead. He had assumed that dying would be painless, or at least if there was pain then it would fade quickly and quietly. He didn’t think too much on the teachings of the church of the empty god, but he accepted their belief that when you died you became part of the manastream.

If that was true, Dan must have turned into pure fire mana. The burning was so intense, the inferno brought such desolation, that he must have become the flames themselves. It was the only explanation. After a time, impossible to know in the cataclysm of pain, Dan realised he was screaming.

He was. Not some strange mana given form, but his body. His mouth, right next to where the pain was coming from. He now felt his back, writhing on a hard floor. He felt his arms and his legs, desperate to rebel and fight but pinned by unknown weights. Every new piece of himself that he remembered, that he felt return to himself, took some of the heat from the pulsing starfire on Dan’s face.

Then, a miracle occurred. Water. Cool, precious, amazing water blessed Dan’s face and soothed the burn quickly. He stopped thrashing and began to relax. The cool water again flowed over Dan’s face, brushing his hair relaxingly with tendrils of delightfully ticklish trickles.

He found that he had completely forgotten what he was doing. Now that the pain was gone, he was struggling to collect his thoughts into cohesion. First, he had to remind himself that he wasn’t dead and that meant that he probably had work to do, if Park Man-Shik had anything to say about it. After that, Dan realised that Park Man-Shik wouldn’t have anything to say about it because Park Man-Shik was no longer his master. That brought up a small stab of a different pain, but Dan kept moving his thoughts along.

Where was he now then, if not in the smithy. Dan had thought that the reason for the fire, but it obviously hadn’t been a fire. It had been-

Dan tried to sit up with a shock, but his arms and legs were still held down. He couldn’t open his eyes, or move. “Help,” he tried to say, but his throat was sore from all the earlier screaming. Yet, help did come even though he couldn’t ask for it properly. That wonderful nectar flowed into Dan’s throat and soothed the burn there too, so that it was like it had never been injured. “Thank you,” he gratefully said, savouring the taste of the sweet juice that had flowed.

“Don’t thank me yet,” croaked an ancient voice made of papyrus. “Not until you’ve seen yourself.” Then she seemed to get frustrated at herself, for a reason Dan couldn’t work out. It was clearly Guan Shi Ai, or elder Baba to Dan. She sounded like she was grieving, the pain in her voice was so palpable and raw. He was not much of a hugger, but he would have thrown his arms around her if he wasn’t bound to the floor.

Dan realised that he was blind right now, and began moving his mana. As he did, another voice in the room spoke and Dan froze.

“Hold your mana still, if you would, Guan Ah Dan.” The unmistakable voice of the Guan family patriarch would have stopped Dan’s mana cold anyway, even if he hadn’t been asking for that specifically. Without the pomp and circumstance of a large proceeding, the man’s voice seemed less full, calmer in a way that showed this was his natural way of speaking. The deep voice of law, time and respect that he projected was a slight mask, Dan was pleased to know. It made him less intimidating, if he was just a man playing a role.

“My patriarch, forgive me for not rising.” Dan was truly abashed and upset to be lying down, but there was nothing he could do and clearly the patriarch knew that more than Dan. Dan half expected a grunt of agreement, that he absolutely should feel ashamed of not standing, but instead he felt the room shiver as the bass appeared in the form of a laugh.

“Mother, you told me he was polite but I think you undersold it,” the patriarch slowly abated his chuckles as he spoke casually. “Rest assured, Ah Dan, I ask for nothing from you but your attention for now. My mother has been tending to you, apparently for some time now.” There was almost a question in his words, but it was clearly a coy comment aimed at elder Baba.

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“Elder Baba and Yaya helped me move up a stage when I was younger. They saved me.” Dan remembered those horrible times. Stuck in between absolute tiredness and nightmares, a core full to bursting. After they helped him, he was found by Park Man-Shik, and the rest was history.

“And a good deal more than that, to hear it told. Don’t worry about that, or about the cost of the elixir.” Dan hadn’t been worrying about the cost of the drink he had received, but now he was. “What Po Shang and his daughter did was underhand, so I hope that this can be some part of the forgiveness you are owed, Ah Dan.”

Stuck between a stuttering splutter and a squawk, Dan wasn’t quite about to react. He was expecting no apology from anyone, least of all the patriarch of the Guan family. Dan didn’t even know what he was being apologised to for. “Of course, my lord you are forgiven, but I apologise that I do not know what for.”

“Ah, right, yes. That. Well when-”

“No!” He was interrupted by a sharp word from his mother. “This is not your ward, is it, Dia? No he isn’t. He is my ward, for all the good it did him. My place to tell, not your’s.”

“Fair enough, Mother, then tell him.”

“No!” She squeaked, much quieter this time.

“Tell me…what?” Dan’s memory had caught up slightly. The last thing he remembered was feeling exhilarated and triumphant while fighting Guan Po Daiyu. He had looked at elder Baba’s face and then… pain. Purple light and then pain. A horrified realisation crawled over Dan. “Did I… lose? Are you in trouble now?” The last thing he wanted was to cause problems for elder Baba, or somehow Guan Po Dia himself.

“The fight itself was declared a draw, actually.” Guan Po Dia was so different in this setting, unknown as it was to Dan, than he had been in public. He actually sounded impressed, and Dan let himself believe that the man was. “It can happen sometimes,” he continued explaining, “and if the matter comes up again it won’t be your problem next time. Nor your’s, mother.”

“Nonsense, my fun with Ah Dan should not have interfered so much.”

“Mother, unless you want to start sharing all our secrets, we can talk about that later. For now,” his voice aimed back towards Dan, “all I shall say is that I am in your debt, though I cannot explain entirely why. Rest easy, Ah Dan. We shall speak again.”

Dan heard him leave and waited to see if elder Baba had anything to say. After a minute or so, Dan started to get fidgety. “Can I channel now, elder Baba?”

“Ah, foolish boy of course. Should have just ignored Dia and done it anyway. Best to get it over with.” Dan was confused at her words until he did try moving his mana. It ground like a cat’s tongue against his core and he gasped. Elder Baba clucked her tongue and continued. “Yes. Power comes at a cost. Untrained core, no exercise on it. Mistake sending you to Man-Shik.”

“Wait, what?”

“Oho, thought Man-Shik found you himself hm? Thought the blacksmith found the quiet orphan boy with potential all on his own? You met the man, yes?”

Dan tried to roll his eyes, but that fiery pain from before had a lingering touch and he made no more attempts at movement for now. “Okay,” Dan said slowly, trying to open his mind and accept this new information, “and he… trained me wrong?”

“Yes! Idiot man made you like water and air. Good for you, yes, but a bad foundation for the future maybe.”

“You mean how I use my mana? There isn’t any other way…” Dan said this but that wasn’t true, was it? He had used his mana in a new way.

“I think you understand but don’t know how to say someone was wrong. It’s okay. Man-Shik was wrong but he made you strong in other ways. It will just be hard from now on. Even harder now. Quickly, fix your mana.”

Dan had been doing just that. Slowly, like a snake peeling out of its skin, Dan had prodded his cold, calm mana back to life. It was moving again, but the candle flame of his power was very dim. Just enough to perceive the room around himself, see where she was and finally figure out what was holding himself down.

His mana spread around the room and gave him context, finally. Context for being held down - the heavy blanket with clips on it, covering Dan and connecting to the bed he was on. Context for why his face had felt like fire and why Dan himself had been the one getting apologised to.

There was a bandage over Dan’s face, but it didn’t stop mana. It didn’t stop Dan from seeing his own, shredded face. His ruined eyes and nose. Everything above his mouth has been lacerated. With revulsion, Dan pushed his perception away from himself and refused to continue looking. “What happened?” Dan croaked, tears unable to form in the shattered ducts of his eyes but emotion easily heard in his throat.

“Instead of claiming defeat, Daiyu lashed out. When you fell, she attacked again before I stopped her.” There was a volcanic fury in her voice. An attack on Dan had become an attack on her, after all. “This elixir is potent, but it will still take many days before you are fit to move again. We shall discuss what comes next after that, yes?”

“Yes, elder Baba.” Dan said, whispering. He didn’t want to think about the future at all right now. All Dan wanted to do was escape reality, so, as soon as was appropriate he let down his barriers. He calmed himself, and for the first time in his life, hoped to escape his body within the release of his nightmares.