I bet you smell like coffee smothered in gin.

Oh, how I like your fair alabaster skin.

Your hair so thick, slick, and beautifully brown.

Your taunting blue eyes,

oh, how they glimmer when you smile.

I would love to kiss, suck and nip

that watermelon pink bottom lip.

Dude, you making a black girl blush!

White boy, you need to quit!

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I bet you’re kinky, freaky, and adventurous in bed.

You got that good guy, boy next door, I’m innocent charm.

That type of look that tells a girl you’d do no harm,

but once behind the scenes

you’d probably make a girl scream!

Taunting her body, making her twist and turn.

Bend her to your will,

what she doesn’t know, she surely will learn.

I bet you smell like coffee smothered in vodka.

Perhaps you’ll bend me over your lap,

slap my rear and make me call you papa.

You make me blush when I see your pictures.

Mr. Hollywood,

you can smile and laugh all you want,

but I know you’re up to no good.

That furred face, arms, and chest,

oh my, I do digress!

What were you saying?

Pardon me while I breathe.

Why, I’ve been holding my breath!

I bet you are the king of your castle.

A righteous and gentle ruler

who treats your girl like a queen,

for the bedroom is the only place you’re probably mean.

So, what is a girl to do?

Is there really a point to this lust?

I’ll never get to touch or smell you.

I guess this little fan girl

will keep spamming pictures of you across the net,

cuz that’s about as close to you as she’ll ever get.

- dedicated to Chris Evans