There’s a new species

of insect fluttering among us!

It’s called Akari Insecta Loveabugus!

The discovery was made by

scientist, Stanley Stephens

and his assistant, Ashley Peters!

Currently, there aren’t any pesticides

that will work on the critter

but there are reports of households

falling in love with the dear!

The only words she knows are

milk, coffee, and chocolate

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and she will surely dip her hands

into your pockets!

When she says coffee,

she really means soda pop

and she’ll drink it if it’s cold,

lukewarm or hot!

Don’t leave your milk out

and turn your back,

cuz she’ll drink it up

in a minute or a sec!

Akari Insecta Loveabugus

is both torturer of pets

and humans!

Hear all the ruckus she makes

with the noise she thinks is amusing!

Beware of the traps of toys

in the floor that she leaves behind

and be ready to spend money

when she swings on your blinds!

She’ll commandeer your

phone, tablet, and computer

then giggle and smile

when you get after her!

If you spot handprints

and crayon markings

on the lower part of your wall,

it’s probably her doing,

cuz she’s only yay feet

and a few inches tall!

If you bring home Mickey D’s,

she’ll swarm around your fries

and with batting her eyes

she’ll say, “Pretty please!”

She’ll play with your refrigerator door,

leave it open

and let her little critter friends in

and she really loves

to jump on beds!

If there’s puddles

of water in the kitchen,

you better believe

she tried to wash the dishes!

Yes, a curious case this has been!

This has been your reporter, L M Stephens.

I’m signing off,

whew, I think I need my bed!

- dedicated to Akari Rae Stephens with love