“These walls contain riddles only a few can hear... Listen carefully to the words and heed their meanings, for they will not listen to you. They will not dare ask why or partake in company. They will only give and expect you to take... Once the words are spoken, you must ask the questions and conserve your thoughts... It would be best if you questioned my words. Are they worthy of one’s thoughts, or are they the ramblings of a fool writing in his book? I will let all of you decide that for yourselves...”

I spoke to the residents about the false preachers of our world. Phaders or Galiks who speak with good intentions—using their influence to pursue devious rewards. Even I do not know much of myself or what evil I can perform when unconscious to those in the crowd sitting with their thoughts tangled.

Together, they left the room, leaving only the subtle whispers of words I could barely understand. For my last offering of today, I strolled to the confession booths. The designs of these structures were always a favorite of mine to admire: Around the edges of the roof, lines of string hung loosely with silver rings—and the walls contained a black fabric with stars flickering inside the abyss with their vibrant glow.

Entering inside, I adjusted the velvet sheet and rested myself against the wall, waiting for strangers to arrive and speak from their occupied minds... Of which, my monologue kept my attention away from the stranger. “Phader, it has been a while since we last spoke...” The feminine voice was the one from before. “Have you thought of me ever since our last encounter?”

I replied: “I do not know who you are—nor should I.”

“Why hide yourself from me, Phader? Are you not here to help those in need and bring peace to this place? I—I’m losing control of my body...” She sticks her fingers through the gate. “Please—please take this pain away, Phader. Allow your body to meld with mine.”

“Your devotion to me is unnatural... That mind of yours is holding a foul image—perhaps a foul time in your history... Please do not tempt me with such thoughts.”

Her fingers retract, “You shouldn’t hold back so much; how much pain can you endure, Phader? The prospect tempts you, but your faith is holding you back from the true pleasure of the soul.”

I said sternly: “My faith has helped me and the many from disorder. Would you give me this pain once more? Does it give you pleasure?”

“The pain is becoming worse... Will you open the door? I can ease your sorrow.”

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My hands quiver as they reach for the handle, “No...” I whisper to myself.

These temptations of lust are destroying me from the inside greater than before—I had to remember the words of our order, keeping myself firmly under control. ‘Thou must take the words of commitment and remove false promises. The pain to endure is a sanctuary to those in need.’ It is better to suffer now than later.

“Will you open the door?” she prompted me.

“N-no...” I replied with an exhale.

“Why continue to hold yourself back, Phader? Do you not deserve a night’s rest in the company of a woman, removing the burdens if only for a moment? Will you not take the bosom of someone who cares for you?”

My damn nature demands to give in—still, I must contain myself, “If you truly cared for me. You would not torture me after my answer... No, you are starving for something. You seek only for my audience—and once I am used up, you will soon move on to the other and repeat the process...” There was no whisper, a single breath, or another word said. She had suddenly left.

#

I needed relief from this eternal pain—it was stagnant, persistent in ways of inconvenience! The desire for one’s companionship presses against my soul like a parasite gnawing my rational desire, then leaving dung in its wake... Strolling through these desolate halls leaves too much for my imagination to transpire. For a moment, I thought my crazed mind was creating an illusion... Before me, on the cobblestone wall—a layer of liquid swirls. With a simple touch from my finger, the current’s once calm swirl ripples a barrage of rings swaying towards the edge. It did not stain my finger in the slightest...? Just a comfortable sensation against my skin.

This anomaly became fascinating from every touch I had given to its curves. My mind loosens the chains holding that dreadful part of me... Suddenly—I could feel a blend of madness swarming my thoughts. It occurred to me that this anomaly anticipates my arrival, and I’m only delaying myself from its entrance. Allowing myself to enter the void in this state produces an overwhelming state in my imagination. Indeed, the chance of danger is definite—Alas, my anguish needs respite.

And the throbbing needs to churn out from this tight apparel! My darling, are you waiting for me on the other side? Without a second thought to waste my precious time, I enter through the void to see the other side—to see what pleasures await me—and at Awe, I came upon seeing such a magnificent sight! Against the wall, the feminine physic mangles in the plethora of limbs that allure the malnourished. The Velvet carpets do wonders to grasp my wondering gaze. Her hand arises from the dark crevices—protruding further than usual, while the skin detracts to shape into long fingers. Pressing her hand against my body, I feel shocked in relief from the pain. My oh my—she teases my beastly shadow of desire, begging me to ravage her soft skin! Why would I allow myself to hold back? Wasn’t it Sleeper who had given us these delightful creatures?

I open my eyes to the red—flowery carpet. The morning has dawned in my absent state... Battered and exhausted from the previous night, I stand up in a daze, wondering about those visions, that—creature from the wall... From a simple gesture, I felt a slight shock underneath the skin, aching from its consistent use. I can no longer concentrate thoroughly; I must proceed back to my quarters and rest adequately.