Amy sat on the wooden floorboards of her room in silence, leaning against the bedside. She stared at herself reflected in the mirror, her ordinary face and ordinary eyes clear as day. Was that what I consider beautiful? I don't think I wish for purple eyes of all things at least. And that enchanting effect was... too much. Way too much. This was only an Apprentice Tier Spell but it was like I was Mesmerised by it. It was like... slipping into an abyss. Step by step, slow enough that it's unnoticeable. And by the time I do notice it, I'm... too far gone. I can't even remember the face I wore at the end. It's all... distorted in my mind. By the Unknowable. Is that what Felin meant by erasing something from reality? Like a hole in the world that's unrecognisable. All I can recall is... is horror.

Is that the weakness of this Spell then? It is very powerful for what I assume to be Tier 3. I can't see my own reflection? Or anything along those lines? I imagine I can train myself out of getting into the trance, but it'll be tricky in the beginning. I also need to summon Felin, as soon as I can. He'll probably reprimand me for doing this without him but I can't be sure I remain unaffected by the Spell even now. If that thing caused a hole in my memory with my own face, what else could it have done? I don't even know how long I spent like that. Are the birds alright?

Getting up from the floor, Amy stumbled over to the nest-box, her legs weak and achy from being in an awkward position for a long time. Not a good sign.

When she uncovered the blanket over them, the three chicks were there, drowsy and half-asleep. As soon as they noticed the light coming in, they got up excitedly, bobbing up and down, squawking at her. Their neck-sacks were a bit empty, looking diminished in size, but not enough to need another feeding. So luckily I probably haven't been gone for more than a few hours. That's still a few hours though. No wonder I'm feeling a bit rough. And my lips are dry as Hell too. Probably from all that heavy breathing I was doing against the mirror if I remember correctly.

Stepping away from the box, leaving it half uncovered, Amy reached towards her mana pool to begin her Magecraft again when she lurched, breaking out into a fit of coughs, feeling ill. Her mana pool was completely empty, feeling like a hollow in her soul, her very being, unnatural and uncomfortable. Falling to her knees, and resisting the urge to throw up, Amy held her stomach tightly while covering her mouth, trying to stifle her coughs. Is- is this the so-called Mana Sickness? I never experienced it at Mageling because I never exhausted my mana pool fully. It's considered dangerous to do so at that Tier, and all my School teachers warned me not to. They said it'll stunt my future progress and possibly cut me off from ever advancing further. If ascending the Mage Tiers increases my mana pool, then does that mean Mana Sickness eases with Tier? And that's why getting it at Mageling can be deadly?

But that contradicts with my understanding of Mage Tiers. If you're... turning into mana, then surely being completely drained of mana would kill a high Tier Mage right? Maybe it gets better then worse again? Would Journeyman be the turning point then, as what I assume to be the midpoint in this transition from flesh to mana? Just another thing to ask Felin whenever I can summon him.

With my mana the way it is, Amy grimaced, looking down again at her stomach as the pain began to subside, I doubt I've got a Spell in me anytime soon. I've never spent all of my mana pool too, so I can't tell when I'll have enough mana again to try. Going by the usual rate when it's close to full, it should take about an hour or two but that's unreliable when it's this low. All I can hope for is that it doesn't take too long.

Amy got up from the floor slowly, trying not to focus on the unnerving feeling of her empty mana pool, glancing back towards her luggage.

"Might as well start unpacking."

* * *

In the end, it took more than a few hours for her mana pool to have just enough mana to cast Familiar. It seemed that the more mana one had in their pool, the faster it regenerated, following the fundamental rule of mana Amy had been taught years ago in School. Mana likens onto mana, coalescing and attracting into itself, filtering out into different Elements. That's the reason it doesn't fill up again almost instantly too. Although mana's flowing through my body constantly, only a very small part of the Pure Mana Ocean is actually attuning itself to me, and becoming a part of the pool. And that same small part is only attracting a miniature portion of the Pure mana to it. It's only when it gets to about a quarter or so full that it starts snowballing. I imagine with a larger mana capacity as I ascend the Tiers, that fraction will keep on getting smaller, and the time to regenerate at both almost full and no mana, faster.

As Amy took a seat on the edge of the bed, Fae tumbled out of her usual Magecraft easily but more strained than usual, her mana capacity affecting her Magecraft. I suppose it makes sense, Amy nodded to herself. Magecraft is the visual representation of what my 'intent' or 'will' is doing to the mana. Less mana would only make that Magecraft harder to do, and harder to manipulate.

Swirling into the Spellform of Familiar, the oppressive sensation of summoning Felin, the one she had felt when she first called upon him, was gone, as it had been every past time she called upon the Spell. His feline form quickly took shape out of the verdant mana, until the image of the black cat was there in true, the shell of fakery breaking away becoming realised in a snap. Is.. this where the Fae comes into play? An 'image' of the being being summoned 'fooling' reality into believing the image the real thing? Perhaps.

"Ah! Amy, I see you've..." Felin paused, sanding in mid-air. "You seem... off?"

"Yes," Amy said, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm not feeling the greatest at the moment-"

"You're mana pool's empty," He stated seriously, pouncing onto her and looking into her eyes deeply, his own Fae-green. "What happened?"

"Well... I completed Monstrous Visage's Spellform."

"Ah. So you casted it then."

"Yes, I casted it," Amy admitted, going a bit red.

"Oh Amy," Felin sighed, his emotions unreadable. "What did I say about casting Fae or Unknowable Spells? It wasn't even that long ago!"

"I know but I couldn't help myself!" Amy explained. "The Spell was literally right there and I just couldn't wait-"

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

"You're not a child, Amy, you could have at least restrained yourself for a few minutes to summon me," Felin pointed out, "And it wouldn't have even affected your Spellcasting either. The amount of mana it takes to summon me is minute compared to what I imagine is needed for this Spell."

"...I know, Felin," Amy said, exhaling slowly. "Sorry."

"Show me this Spellform and explain what happened. That's the least you can do," Felin shook his head, stepping back into the air.

"Alright."

* * *

"And you are sure you can't remember this... 'final' form of your face?"

"I'm sure," Amy reiterated, still sitting on the edge of her bed as Felin studied her notepad behind her.

"Okay, I'll have to take another look later, but I think I've got the gist of it," He said, moving back around so she could see him again. He seems disappointed. "I'll just preface what I'm about to say with this.

"I'm not entirely against you casting Spells on your own. You are my Apprentice, not my property. I cannot and will not dictate what you can and can't do. I will advise you not to do certain things but sometimes, it's best to learn the hard way and I will let you learn that way if you wish.

"However, when you say that you will follow my advice and then go against it, I can't allow that. Not only does it set a dangerous precedent, but it also breaks the trust I have in you as your master, and likewise for the trust you have in me as my Apprentice. I will always, always, warn you away from and even stop you from doing anything stupid and or lethal, for I believe that to be common sense for our relationship. Despite that, my belief in your own free will of choice will sometimes trump that urge to stop you. Here, it does not.

"Perhaps I should have discussed this with you when I first warned you against Fae and Unknowable; too late now, I suppose," Felin tsked, coming to a stop and floating down to the floor. "But attuning to certain Elements is indeed dangerous, as in attuning to them, they in turn attune somewhat to you, and, just as you change it, it can change you. You experienced this first hand with Unknowable somewhat, and you will unfortunately experience this with Fae later on in your path, albeit far more severely.

"Combining both of these high-risk Elements into one Spell and then casting it at what you humans would call Spell Tier 4 is not only dangerous but downright idiotic. If you indeed summoned me before you casted that Spell, I could've been there to break you out of that feedback loop, and teach you how to properly cast and separate yourself from the Elements you use in a Spell. You didn't summon me though. I wasn't there to help, and you suffered for it.

"I am your master Amy, so use me like one. Rely on me more so you don't make potentially mortal mistakes like that again. You can only rely on me though when I'm actually here, summoned to this plane and beside you."

"I'm sorry Felin," Amy apologised once more sincerely.

"All I ask is... well, my request is different depending on what you believe the next step on your path is. The first option is that I urge you away from those two Elements completely. You follow the path of utmost caution, and perhaps even aversion, so you are hopefully never in this particular danger again. The second is where things change.

"Wizards went one of three ways when deciding on their path, choosing to focus on only two of the three Wizardly Elements to specialise in," Felin explained, prancing about, back and forth, on the floorboards. "My former contractor chose Illusion and Unknowable. That was the second most common choice, although among higher Tier Wizards this was more prevalent than the others. More common than that among all Tiers of Wizards was Illusion and Fae, and, finally, the least common, was Fae and Unknowable."

"Why was that the least?" Amy asked, feeling some attraction towards the last option.

"Not only are those two the hardest to learn and master of the Wizardly Elements, but they are also the most obscure. They only begin to show their true potential at higher Tiers, where most Mages never get to, and require a natural... skill to get into."

"Affinity?"

"No, not affinity. A certain type of person is needed to be able to wield both Fae and Unknowable in the right ways, so that they do not interfere with each other and halt the Mage's rise to power."

"I didn't think they interfered, no? You only told me about Illusion and Fae anyway," Amy commented.

"Those two Elements don't interfere in the traditional, magical sense, rather in the Mage's own belief of the Elements. Most Mages only ever saw Fae as an 'advanced' form of Illusion, rather than the multifaceted and complex Element it is, and likewise with Unknowable, as something that merely hides and conceals. To describe them both as only those things would be a disgrace."

"And they never had that problem with Illusion?"

"Assuredly, some did, seeing Illusion as nothing more than a mundane magician's trickery, but they were always few in number. Add on to that the fact that Illusion is the introductory Element for Wizardry, it was almost universally the foundational Element for all Wizards, the other two where they build off into. Yet, instead of Illusion, you seem to be following the path of these two Elements, the ones that are, ironically or perhaps understandably, the most dangerous to you.

"So are you... interested in that path not often taken?" Felin asked curiously, turning to his side and cocking his head.

"I don't have anything against Illusion but... it doesn't attract me the same way as the other two. Something about them seems just right, for me at least," Amy pondered, scratching her cheek.

"What then, my dear Apprentice, do the two Elements mean to you?" Felin stared at Amy intently, turning to face her. "What does Fae mean to you?"

"Fae is..." Amy trailed off, thinking back to her admittedly little experience with the Element. All she had of it was through constantly casting Familiar and, unfortunately, Monstrous Visage. Of course there was the aspect of Fae that was within her Magecraft but it didn't quite cross her mind in that moment of contemplation, ingrained too deeply inside her to matter. "Fae is...

"It is prideful."

"Oh? And why is that?" Felin questioned, narrowing his green silted eyes.

"I don't think that's the right word for it - at all - but it's the best one I've got at the moment," Amy admitted, glancing away for a moment. "Fae is an Element all about pride. In order to, as the Wizards put it, 'fool' reality, you need to put on a show that is somehow better than reality so that the mana believes it more. And to do that, in my opinion, is a very arrogant thing. Arrogant enough that you need to be proud enough - egotistical enough, perhaps - that you indeed believe yourself better than reality."

"Interesting perspective," Felin nodded, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. "Unknowable then? What does it mean to you?"

"Unknowable in my mind is simpler than Fae. It's not an opposite to the pride that is Fae but rather in the same vein of it, only twisted. That's what I'd describe it as.

"Unknowable is twisting.

"It conceals and breaks and unmakes in such a way that reality no longer makes sense. To do that requires the utmost pride, maybe even more than Fae. Rather than replacing reality, you are destroying it, in little bits and chunks so that it only works for you and not anyone else. That's what I think, at least."

"Also a fair perspective," Felin nodded again, looking away and breaking the stare. "After hearing that, I don't think you'd have the same problem other Wizards had towards Fae and Unknowable. In a way, you've circumvented it by basically ignoring Illusion beyond the bare basics I told you to learn. If you really want to, then, you can follow the Wizard's path of Fae and Unknowable. Of course, you must be cautious for all the same reasons I've already stated.

"In light of this - which I most likely should have asked about earlier - I will try to stop dissuading you from this path. I may disagree with it but, ultimately, it is not a master's right to interfere with and manipulate an Apprentice's path. It is to guide it. Regardless, I still have to urge you not to be reckless with this. I will not always be there for you when you end up casting these Spells, the ones that follow both Fae and Unknowable, but whenever you can, make sure to summon me. So that I can be there if things go awry, so that I can guide you. We both don't want a repeat of what just happened with this Spell."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Amy looked away, rubbing the back of her neck.

"I won't get you to continue apologising, I'm not that insincere, just know that I will be there for you whenever you need it."

"I know, Felin, I know."

"Good. Now, show me that Spellform again, and let me guide you through what went wrong."