Cere- Here we are, Dome 339, sublevel 6, access tunnel 35, McNeil's Low-G Asset Recovery Unit Inc.
Kate- Looks like a maintenance access room... put that bastard on.
Harold- Yes?
Kate- I'm in front...
Harold- Ah! Yes, good of you to show up. I wasn't sure you would, most don't, not after my test.
Kate- You were quite an ass yesterday.
Harold- That's for sure, but you know the bloody job, can't put someone who won't cut it out there, don't want that on my conscience ya know. Anyway, just get in, I'm in the kitchen.
Cere- *End of Transmission*
*door's lock clicking*
Cere- Kate, my analysis is showing elevated levels of still being an ass. Oh, sorry, that might have just been you... Hard to say, I'm not sure. Those readings are off the chart, maybe I should publish my findings.
Kate- Maybe you are just detecting your own crap. What's with you lately? First the fight, now this? Did you get hit too hard at some point?
Cere- Well, it could indeed be your brain getting worse.
Kate- Cere!
Cere- I can'... ear... ur cutting... lag...
Kate- Cut, the, crap, or, I, cut, you!
Cere-... alright, alright, I can feel how serious you are this time. I guess I'll explain... You see, AI assistants like me are basically strapped on the part of your brain linked to self-perception. This is both to save on processing power and to have a non-discordant voice in your head. Basically, my personality is moulded around that voiceless Jiminy Cricket in your brain. Before I was more clinical and colder because that was how you treated yourself. You were basically in denial about your emotions, allowing you to keep going on your rotten stumpy emotional legs.
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Kate- And now?
Cere- Now you are driven by a need for change. You know you can't keep doing the same shit and expect better results. The emotions leading the charge are anger and rage and you are painting those colours inside and outside with a big roller like some pop art madwoman.
Kate- Why don't I know this already?
Cere- Well, if you didn't TRULY intend to borrow rusty pliers inside to remove me forcefully just now, you still wouldn't know. My makers intended to make this function seamless. Lucky for you the risk of self-harm of a corporate agent tends to lift some controls and restrictions temporarily.
Kate- I'll have to remember that trick.
Cere- Please don't.
Kate- Shit! Fucking door is jammed.
Cere- Flex those shiny cybernetics.
*Crrr frrrr pop pop crrrk*
Kate- "Dial-up brained... who put cardboard boxes behind the fucking door? AH! can get in..."
*Barely audible moans and moos*
Kate- The Hell?
Cows- "Moo mooo m mooo mmoooo!"
Kate- A cartoon cow? Steam Boat Willy styled running on top of a spinning small Moon with huge craters reminiscent of a cog-turning... fucking Free Range Moon Burgers and their obnoxious take-out box's AR... this is just... too much!
Cere- Are you upset about the false advertising that claims lab-grown meat from the Moon is free-range and grass-fed? Or are you talking about this towering ziggurat of fast-food take-out, with over a hundred animated cardboard boxes piled up in a bizarre, almost religious, display that takes up half the room? I don't see how you could consider any of this excessive. If anything, it's not quite grand enough to be considered a world wonder.
Cow- "Moo Moooo..."*moans*
Woman's voice- "Ah! Mmmmm!" *slurp slurp*
*fap fap fap*
Cows- "mooo"
Kate- What's all this shit...
Cere- Compandroid delivery boxes, two of them, small-frame and sporting huge... udders if the packaging is any indication.
Kate- Compandroids? Here? Are they nuts? Don't they fear a Death-Embrace hack?
Spazz- "Tell... tell me... I'm good..."
Compandroid 1- "Baby you're the best"
Compandroid 2- "You're so so big mister S."
*flap flap flap*
Kate- "What the actual fuck?"
*Step step step*
*Flap flop flap*
Compandroid 2- *big gulp, slurp slurp*
Spazz- "Aahhhh whooo... WHAT!??? AAAAAH!!!!"
*crashing food delivery boxes ziggurat tumbling down and moos mixed with small, delighted, compandroid cries*
Spazz- "WHO ARE YOU!"
Cere- You caught him pants' down... literally.
Kate- Fucking wanker going at it in broad daylight with two fuck-puppets...
Spazz- "Don't look!" *Nervous* "Seen anything?"
Kate- "YA THINK?*
Spazz- "Sorry, m'sorry, didn't know you were coming today, just got 'em and they were... well... very *cough* verry persuasive. I just didn't...*
Kate- "Don't want to know, don't care! How can you live like this?"
Spazz "m'sorry, but you ain't my mom, not that she'd give a fuck anyway..."
Kate- "Is this really a bounty hunter agency? I've been in whorehouses better kept, and I mean that literally! How can you be so fucking crass? What if a target came back for revenge?"
Spazz- "Oh don't worry about that, I have AI agents keeping watch on them at all times, and I rigged a few..."
Kate- "PULL YOUR FUCKING PANTS UP! You are smeared in old food juice."
Cere- I think I'm going to throw up...
Spazz- "Right... errr fuck..."
Kate- 'M not so sure about all this anymore...
Spazz- "Right hum... the kitchen is back there... mind letting me..."
Kate- " I don't want to be here."