“What the fuck do you mean he’ll be alright?!” The low, yet frantic, voice of Jorn was the first thing I woke to, and what a way to wake up. “This whole situation is fucked, the mission is fucked, we’re fucked! James is dead! How in the pits are we supposed to do anything now?”
“Look, I'm telling you that everything will be fine, just give it a moment.” Kala tried to calm down Jorn.
“For fucking what!? His body to get cold?”
I was having a little déjà vu, but I figured it was time to get up and announce myself. “No, for me to get up and hopefully not have a headache of a situation to deal with.”
Understandably, Jorn looked like he was halfway between shock and terror. Looking around, I found that we were ducked down in the stables again, and off to the side of the pen was Otar, staring at me with a similar expression. Kala was looking at them with an expression of exasperation mixed with a smidge of amusement while Holdrem seemed to be just observing in a contemplative manner. My clothes were torn a bit, the missing parts having been pressed up against where I had been stabbed and were now thoroughly bloodied.
“What... you... how are you alive?” Jorn managed to stammer out after a healthy amount of time had passed.
“You know, if people are going to keep asking me that question, I might need to prepare a speech. While I would love to explain this to you, I'm afraid our current situation is not conducive to that.” I turned towards Kala for an update. “Any patrols following us? Are we safe?”
“We heard some guards running by the front of the building a little while ago, but I don’t think they know where we are right now.” She replied
“Good, let’s keep it that way. Now, where are my--”
“Hold on just a fucking second! You’re not freaking out right now? You knew about this?” Jorn directed a pointed look at Kala before noticing Holdrem wasn’t reacting to my resurrection either. “You too?”
Holdrem put up his hands. “I knew, but this is the first time I've seen it in person. A little underwhelming from what I imagined if I'm being honest.”
What, did you think there would be glowing lights and angelic choirs? I just rolled my eyes a little at the thought, but Jorn wasn’t nearly as amused as I was.
“Are we the only ones who didn’t know?” Jorn looked accusingly around the room at all of us.
I pinched the bridge of my nose a little. “Look, it was nothing personal, they all learned due to happenstance the same as you, and I would very much like it to remain largely a secret. Now, we can talk about this more when we aren’t in danger of having an army drop on us. Where are my damn clothes?”
Jorn looked like he wanted to continue arguing, but reluctantly gave up. Otar had been surprisingly quiet about all this, but his gaze was firmly fixed on me, and I could tell that he shared a lot of the same sentiments his brother did without needing to voice them. Kala brought me my merchant attire which I gratefully accepted.
I stripped down and used some of the water from the horse's drinking trough to wash the residual blood off my body before changing. In the middle of my little bath that was probably less than sanitary, Kala commented on something interesting.
“James, you look like yourself again.”
That got my attention very fast. “What?” I reached up and felt at my ears to discover they were rounded again. “My hair too?” I asked and she nodded. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I decided to wear a full head covering.” So, my resurrection returns me to my original form, or at least how I should look? Is it how I should be, or how I perceive myself? While interesting questions to ponder, it would have to be explored some other time.
Once I was fully dressed again, I made the changes to my body that were necessary for my disguise to function. Best not to risk death anymore if I don’t have any kind of head covering. “Okay, if we just make it through the night then we can be out of here first thing in the morning.”
Kala and Holdrem nodded, but Jorn just grunted and moved over to a corner of the stables to sit. The collars were passed around again by Kala, and Jorn snatched his away in quite the rough manner. Is he really going to hold a grudge because I didn’t tell him what by all rights should be a massive secret? I really hoped that tomorrow he would be in less of a pouting mood after sleeping it off.
Before heading inside, I took a minute to dig a foot deep hole using some of the shovels we had and buried my incognito disguise, making sure to pack the dirt in so it looked as natural as possible. With that done, I walked around and entered the front of the of the inn as casually as I could. The barmaid who was on the late-night shift greeted me with a little bit of concern.
“Welcome back, sir. Are you alright? I heard quite the commotion on the streets.”
Thinking of a quick little lie, I responded. “Yes, I was out looking for an establishment that could offer me a fine glass of wine to enjoy in the moonlight. My plans were cut short however by all the guards running about and searching everywhere. Something was obviously wrong, so I figured the smartest thing to do was return to my lodgings for the night.”
“Probably for the best, sir. If the guards are all worked up about something, then it must be dangerous.”
With a simple nod I continued on through the bar area and up to the rooms. Once locked into my private little corner I slumped against a wall, finally letting the exhaustion that had been building throughout the night seep into me. It was more of a mental than a physical feeling, as my body was in peek condition after being brought back.
Figuring sleep would bring the most relief to my current mood, I got undressed and flopped into bed face first. Rolling around in the laziest manner I could until completely under the covers, I closed my eyes and tried to drift off to sleep. It was not an easy task; my mind was haunted with concern about suddenly finding my door kicked in or the stables being raided. The occasional sounds of guards running past the building and yelling at their fellows also ruined any progress I had made towards sleep. It was an agonizing few hours of tossing, turning, and worrying until I had enough of a moment of quiet to finally fall asleep.
At the first sign of light, I woke up and got moving as quickly as possible. Throwing on my clothes and heading downstairs, I didn’t even stop to get food, and just went straight out back to the stables to start packing things up. We needed to get the hell out of Dodge before they decided that the city needs to go on lockdown or some other inconvenient development.
They were all awake in the stables as well, clearly waiting for me to get there before packing things up. There wasn’t a whole lot that actually needed to be put up, it was mostly getting the horses attached to the cart that took the most time. No one was particularly chatty as we worked to get roadworthy as fast as possible, but I could sense a certain level of coldness radiating from Jorn. His brother did not give off the same feeling, but I could tell he was biting his tongue at the moment.
With the horses now hooked up to the cart, we were ready to get out of this layer of hell. Everyone hopped in and assumed their regular positions. I double checked that the merchant license was safely tucked away into the satchel I had purchased so it wouldn’t become damaged or illegible. With everything and everyone in place, Holdrem cracked the reigns and started to drive the horses out onto the street.
The first thing I noticed as we got to the main street was the marked increase in patrols. Armed soldiers and local garrison squads were out in force, stopping civilians and either asking them questions or attempting to squeeze information out of the alley dwellers. A heavy hand was applied to the dregs of society in search of us, yet we were unbothered by the wandering patrols. I guessed that they just didn’t think that a merchant would be involved in any way. I just hoped that assumption would hold until we were well clear of this city.
The big test was coming up; the main gate into and out of the city. While before, there had been two guards at the gate, lazily checking those mostly entering, now there were a dozen. Six guards were checking everyone who passed under the gate with a fine-toothed comb while the other half were posted around and watched the goings on with a focused intensity. Being in a cart fast tracked us past the foot traffic, which was both convenient and nerve wracking as we came before the guards.
Two of them started checking the back of the cart, eyeing those who sat there suspiciously as they sifted through the supplies. I decided to take the moment to play into me being ignorant, as well as check if they suspected anything happened at the bank. “Excuse me, good man, but what’s all this fuss about? I’ve noticed quite the commotion around town recently.”
“There was murder last night. A group of guards were assaulted by fleeing criminals, and a few lost their lives in the skirmish. We think they might have been transporting drugs, so we’re checking everyone who enters or exits for any sign of the substances.”
I waited for a moment but there was no further explanation or mention of the bank. It seemed that they did not know that we did anything with the building at all, which was a good sign for our clean getaway. There was something off though. The guard looked at everyone, his expression turning more scrutinizing by the second.
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“You know, the survivors of that attack last night said that the group they were assaulted by had two Ulgor and two Trelnval in it.”
I could immediately tell what he was insinuating, and it made me break out into a cold sweat. Showing my panic would immediately condemn us all, so I did the only thing I could do and fall back onto my character while hoping I wasn’t dripping with sweat while I did. Furrowing my brows, I stared daggers into the man.
“I hope you aren’t inferring anything.” I gave as good a dark look as I could, trying to convey a sense of influence that frankly I did not have.
The man seemed a little taken aback for a second, but he recovered and cautiously continued. “I don’t know. Would you mind telling me what you were doing last night?”
My excuse that I used at the inn probably wouldn’t convince him of anything, so I decided to just ignore the question entirely. I didn’t expect to be playing this card so soon, but it had a decent chance of getting me out of this situation. Now openly sneering at the man, I reached into the satchel and removed my freshly minted license, presenting it while launching into a tirade.
“I am a merchant in good standing. To be even remotely associated with the rabble and muck of society is an insult too grave! My father makes more money in a week than you do in a damn year. I suggest you recant your accusations sir before you regret them!” Naturally I was one hundred percent bullshitting, but the paperwork was official, and that was all that needed to be real for my story to be believed.
The man’s eyes widened a little bit as the perceived reality of what was going on came to him. “I... I did not mean to insult, sir. It’s just, they match the description of the--”
“Were the ones who assaulted the guards slaves?”
He hesitated for a moment. “Uhm... it was reported they had no collars.” He finally said meekly.
“So, they weren’t slaves, but partners in crime. You might even have a case of dissidents freeing slaves. In both of these cases, they still couldn’t possibly be anything related to my slaves. Which begs the question, why am I still sitting here having to explain myself to you who are delaying me getting back to my business?”
His mouth opened and closed a few times as he tried to come up with something for his defense. “I’m sorry sir, I appear to have been mistaken. Please forgive me; I was simply doing my job.” Fear of the rich and powerful. Even though I had no real influence, it still made me feel a little slimy to use the weight of perceived hereditary power.
“Well, as long as you understand what you did wrong, I suppose I could forget about all this once I'm away from here.”
“Of course, I don’t see any reason to keep you here any longer.” He seemed rather eager to get rid of us now. He waved us through and signaled to everyone else to let us continue out of the city. If everything from this point on could be solved with a piece of paper then that would be very nice.
As we pulled out from beneath the shade of the gate, I got a look at the extent that they were combing through the underbelly of the city. Guards roamed through the avenues between the ramshackle houses with driven intent. People were being dragged around, some kicking and screaming, others trying to protest their innocence. Doors were kicked in, which for houses like this sometimes meant structural collapse, and the occupants were pulled outside and thrown into the dirt while their homes were searched.
Women screamed, kids cried, and men tried to shield or direct guards away from their own families. All the while I could only watch these people suffer for our actions and mistakes with a stony face. They didn’t deserve this. Most of them were just trying to survive a war they did not start, and yet I brought them more suffering for who knows how long until the guards find a scapegoat or give up on avenging their fallen comrades.
What should have been a moment of triumph was soured by the consequences of my actions. Maybe if we had just gotten out of there a little quicker, if I had found the paper sooner, moved through the bank halls with a little more urgency, then we wouldn’t have been found by the patrol and this all could have been avoided. In the back of my mind, I knew it wouldn’t do any good to think about what ifs, but if I wasn’t doing that then I would just be kicking myself without even trying to figure out how I could do better.
There was nothing else we could do here, so we continued onwards uninterrupted and ever further away from the miserable place. At least it became a little easier to bear once I was no longer directly witnessing it, still was going to weigh on my conscience for a while. I expected that Jorn would start bombarding me with questions as soon as we were out of earshot of the Thrainians, but it seemed he was more reserved, or perhaps sulky, than I originally thought.
Hardly a peep came from anyone in the cart as we rode past all the farms surrounding the town. A few farmers and some other wagons passed us by on our travels, giving general greetings as they went. It was quiet and peaceful out here, a far cry from how things were in the city at the moment.
It was about a half hour later when nearly all signs of civilization had disappeared that Jorn decided to say something. “So, what the fuck?”
The rather abrupt and pointed question caught me a little off guard after all the silence. Jorn’s expression was rather flat, yet his eyes were burrowing into me with great intensity. “That’s a rather vague question to start with,” I replied.
“You know what I'm asking about,” he stated coldly.
“Which should tell you just how convoluted the whole thing is, because it’s still a vague question.”
Jorn furrowed his brow a little and appeared to mull it over in his head a little. “Fine, then we can start with why you didn’t think we were worthy enough to know about this.”
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Again, like I said last night, it was nothing personal. Of all the people that could have found out about this, I think that you would be on the upper end of people I don’t mind all that much.”
His eyes narrowed a little. “But you still do mind that we now know.”
I shrugged and put my arms out to the side in a ‘what did you expect’ kind of manner. “Frankly, I would be happy if I were the only one in the world with the knowledge, and that’s just by virtue of being its owner.”
“But why? I can’t claim to fully understand what is going on with you, but you appeared to die yet got up just a few moments later. If you have some kind of magic ability that strong then you should use it, not hide it.”
“A, you’re making an assumption that I have any amount of control over this, B, this power isn’t the trump card that I'm guessing you imagine it to be, and C, it’s origin would create an enormous amount of headache for me if it became common knowledge.”
“Why? Where did you get it from?”
I just spat it out. “The Eternal Mother.”
That created a moment of silence in the cart, and even Otar, who had been quietly listening in on the conversation, snapped his head up at her mention before chiming in for the first time. “The goddess, the mother, your ability is a divine gift?”
I mockingly laughed at that. “HA, fuck no, this is a divine curse.”
The standard confusion that comes with me making that statement went around. “What?” Otar asked simply.
I fixed him with a cold stare. “Tell me, have you ever been stabbed to death?”
He blinked, clearly dumbfounded. “Uhm, no?”
“Hmm, how about burned to death, you ever experienced that.”
Something was becoming clearer for Otar as his expression became flat. “No.”
“Death by dismemberment? How about poison? Oh, this is a good one, ever had your organs ripped out while you were still conscious?” He didn’t say anything this time, his face contorting in understanding and sympathy as he realized where I was going with this. “Well, I have, I've experienced all those things and many, many, more. So yeah, you can take that blessing bullshit and get it out of your mind.”
Some more silence overcame us all, the only sound for the next minute was the creaking of the wooden cart as it rolled along the road. It was Jorn who finally broke it. “You still could have told us. We would have kept your secret. When I thought that you had died, I was blaming myself for not being able to help you. I thought I failed, did something wrong, and lost a friend because of it.”
“Oh...” Not the most insightful reply on my part, but I realized what he went through. Another look over his facial expression made me realize that it was like he was trying to stay mad when he didn’t actually feel that way. I decided that maybe an apology would be the most appropriate thing to offer in this situation.
“I’m sorry I made you worry, and I'd like you to know it means a lot that you do consider me a friend. I’ll try to be more careful in the future, so I don’t cause you any more stress.”
He scoffed a bit. “Oh, no, after all that and the lies, you are no longer on my ‘people I am concerned about’ list. You’re on your own now, banished, excommunicated, especially now that I know killing you apparently doesn’t work.” He said this with some exaggerated flair and a little bit of joking nature, a good sign.
I decided to play into it. “Aww come on, that was one of my favorite lists to be a part of. You just became a part of the ‘people who know about me’ list. It’s very exclusive; that’s got to count for something.”
“Hey, I got on that list no thanks to you... but, maybe I could be convinced to reconsider your application if in the future I found myself sufficiently drunk enough to forget about all of this.”
I chuckled a little. “I am afraid of just how much alcohol that would take, but I promise I'll give it a good try.” He smirked, apparently feeling like he had won. I turned my attention to the other brother now. “What about you? Do you think that I can earn some forgiveness?”
Otar had a slight smile. “Unlike my greedy brother...”
“Hey!” Jorn complained about the labeling, but Otar ignored him.
“...I don’t think it would be right to hold it against you. From what I understand, your hesitance to share is valid, born from pain. However, I must ask you one thing.”
“Shoot.”
“We don’t have to like, say prayers or anything before you right? Should I apologize for all the jokes I made about you before I get struck down by the gods?”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed at that for a good few seconds before coming down with a sigh. “No, no you do not have to do anything like that. And if she even thinks about punishing you for jokes, I'll kick her teeth in myself.”
Holdrem was giving me the side eye for that comment, but I ignored that as Otar let out some air in a quick puff. “Well, that’s a relief. I was never one for religion, and now I'm in the presence of divine powers. I might have been a little afraid that the compounding sin damned me.”
“I think you’re good.” With that last little bit of reassurance, it seemed that things had gotten relatively back to normal with the group. The awkward atmosphere of silence vanished, and some light conversation once more broke up the monotony of the road as everyone went back to their travel activities.
It was nice that the group dynamic wasn’t permanently damaged by the discovery of my immortality. Though, with the newfound freedom from my concerns in that regard, I now began to consider the future that I had been conveniently avoiding thinking about. Yol’vastume, our next stop provided that nothing interrupted us. The place was hell on Earth for the races of the coalition, and we were about to dive right into the jaws of this monster. My heart rate increased, and I suddenly felt like I had a sudden bout of sickness strike.
Fuck me, it’s actually happening. What the hell am I going to do?