Victoria found Eli leaning against the portside railing of the ship, gazing out at the setting sun across the glimmering waters of the lake. He glanced at her briefly when she took a spot beside him at the railing, but didn't speak.
"What's on your mind?" she asked softly.
"A few things," he replied.
"Talk to me."
He sighed, "do you think this was the right decision? Going against the Fish Wizard, signing up to be on this ship? I still don't even have the full story, I barely even know how we got here. I feel like I've been losing my grasp on this party's direction since we found Iris in the desert, maybe even earlier."
Victoria laughed, "you recruited Titus straight out of a bar fight, and you can't tell me you honestly believed for a second after meeting Autumn that she was anything less than uncontrollable. Then a girl falls out of the sky with an attitude like every life or death experience is just another fun story to tell and you bring her along--"
"Hey, we voted on that," Eli defended.
Victoria rolled her eyes, "how often do our party votes go against the way you hoped they would?"
"All the time!" Eli looked flabbergasted, "the wyvern--"
"Oh," Victoria smirked in disbelief, "so you were seriously going to make her get rid of it if that's what we voted for?"
"Of course I was!"
"Okay," she laughed again, obviously not believing him, "look, my point is, I know you care about this team a lot, we all do, and I know you take your role as leader and the responsibilities that come with it very seriously -- but look at the hand you dealt yourself. You’ve collected misfit after misfit, and not a single person in this party besides you or I even has formal training. And don’t say Titus, we both know he got kicked out before he finished. “
“So it’s my fault for recruiting a bad team,” Eli nodded solemnly in understanding.
“No! You idiot, my point is that none of this is your fault,” she sighed, “look, you’ve put together a team that fights well together and actually gets along, that’s no easy feat, but we're all just kids, and kids are notoriously hard to control and constantly doing stupid things.”
"I'm twenty-two," he argued.
Victoria twisted so her back was to the railing and her head was tilted back at the sky, "and how long do you think you'll live? Even if you stop at Champion, that's a few centuries before your body gives out, at least. And hell, there's titans kicking around in this world older than Everveil. Any way you look at it, we're just kids."
Eli was quiet for a moment, then spoke in a low, guilty voice, "I put all of you in danger today."
Victoria barked a loud laugh, "oh, come on, are we still doing this? We were deep enough in this crazy scheme that it was happening with or without you, and you couldn't have stopped us if you tried. You can't make this one your fault, Eli."
"I still should have tried to stop it, but I didn't. We got lucky, again, but one of these days--"
"One of these days our luck will run out," Victoria said in a tired and sarcastic tone, then straightened up and spread her arms at their surroundings, "look where we are! Think about where we're going! Do you have any idea how many adventurers would kill to be in this position? I think you do, and I think you know how great of an opportunity this is for us and that shooting our shot for it was the only course of action that made any sense. Why don’t you tell me what's really bothering you?"
He averted his eyes back to the lake and was quiet for a moment before he spoke again, "you're right. I knew that this would be good for us -- a hell of a lot better than trekking back across the desert to Tinton or braving the eastern wilds on our own would have been. But--" he paused.
Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.
"Spit it out."
"I didn't do it because of that. Maybe if I had then I wouldn't feel so shitty about it."
"Then what was the reason?" She leaned against the railing with one arm, facing him with a comforting and patient expression.
"Cameron," he said, full of shame, "he has a job on the ship, too. The quartermaster thinks his abilities will come in handy with the cannons, maybe even make them more effective. When he told me, my first thought was how I wished I could go with him."
"And then you got your chance," Victoria nodded in understanding.
"Yeah," he sighed, "and instead of thinking about my friends -- instead of trying to stop you all from attempting what is, without a doubt, the dumbest and most dangerous plan I've ever heard -- I was just thinking about him."
Victoria twisted to look out at the water and smiled softly, "so you feel selfish."
"Yeah."
"Well, I have good news for you, you're not selfish. You're just stupid."
Eli's eyebrows shot up.
"and so are the rest of us, but you know what? Most of the strongest and most successful people I've ever met were just idiots who got lucky. The way I see it, if you want to do great things in life, first you have to do a whole lot of stupid things and hope they work they out."
He chuckled at her words, but the smile soon faded, "would you have blamed me if someone had gotten hurt?"
"Nope," she replied instantly, "maybe Autumn, the whole thing was her idea. But honestly, I don't think I would have blamed anyone -- except for Jacquie, fuck that guy. We all make our own decisions and take our own risks, though, and everyone knew what they were signing up for before we got started."
Eli sighed, "then why do I still feel like shit?"
"Because you're obsessed with doing everything correctly! Like I’ve told a thousand times! Look, you know what I told Iris recently? I told her she needs to stop making stupid decisions and start thinking things through, because that's her problem. She sees danger and the first question she asks herself is how fun it might turn out to be, and she's constantly causing problems because of it. I'm telling you the opposite, you need to do more stupid things, because your problem is the opposite. You're so obsessed with being perfect that half the time you cause more problems than you solve. You finally took a step in the right direction and took a risk worth taking, and now you’re doubling down on your old habits by beating yourself up over it. Just take a breath and relax a little, man. Enjoy the life we're living, enjoy the spoils of our success, and for the sake of every god, get the fuck over yourself."
He laughed earnestly and loudly, and then nodded in acceptance. After a moment, he spoke again, "what do you think happened to Jacquie, anyway? I kind of feel bad leaving him behind."
"I don't, the guy's a dirt bag coward. I owe Titus a solid thump on the head for recruiting him in the first place.”
“What’s your deal with him?” Eli asked, “he’s not exactly likable, I get that, but you really, really don’t like him.”
“Haven’t you picked up on it?” She asked, “that guy’s not some street urchin that picked up robbery to survive, he’s nobility. I’m sure of it, and I’m willing to bet most of that jewelry he wears came from his own collection and not from marks. There’s nothing worse than a person who already has everything they need and keeps stealing anyway.”
“Why would a noble run around pretending to be a lowly thief?”
“Same reason you see lords pretending to be farmers while peasants do the actual work, because nobles love playing pretend as the people they look down on.”
Eli shrugged, “fair enough. I still feel like we shouldn’t have left him behind.”
“I wouldn't worry about him if I were you. People like that always seem to squirm their way out of consequences."
___
The waters were calm In the Fish Wizard's pocket dimension. The pseudo-sun was setting and darkness was enveloping the domain. The wizard climbed out of the cavity left behind from the stone spike he'd removed from the shark lobster's carapace -- or sharbster, as he preferred to call it. He swam up to hover just above the creature, inspecting the bright red crystal in his hand.
"You'll be swimming again soon, lil' buddy," he said somberly before stashing the crystal in a pocket of his robes.
He swam up towards the ceiling of the throne room and through the massive hold he'd blown through his own wall. That would be a bitch to rebuild, but it was nothing compared to the damage those damned kids had caused to the rest of his castle. He gritted his teeth in anger at the thought of them, once again swearing his revenge for what must have been the thirtieth time.
He looked around at the mess of his bedroom. It was now flooded from the hole in the wall, and bits of wood from his shattered wardrobe floated around and tumbled slowly in the water. It would be the easiest mess to clean up, at least, but it filled him with the most anger. He barely used the rest of the castle, but this room was his home -- his sanctum. He resolved himself to prioritize security during the rebuilding process, and perhaps invest some time into raising more guard sharbsters.
"And you!" he spun around and pointed a shaky finger at one of the jellyfish floating passively above the remains of his throne room, "you did nothing! You're useless!"
The jellyfish said nothing.
He sighed, and then swam over to the wall. He tapped the glass of the fish tank that once held his most cherished prisoner, but now held only his consolation prize. The scattered particles of confetti began to swirl, soon coalescing into a shape before solidifying into flesh. The wizard forced a bitter-sweet smile at the large, rainbow-scaled fish that stared back at him.
"Don't worry, Sparkles," he said, gently stroking the glass, "your friends will be joining you soon enough."