"Right this way, captain," Titus said, holding up the door and gesturing inside with an arm.

The Shark Titan gave him an indecipherable look, then ducked and squeezed through the too-small doorway. His coat still dripped water, leaving a trail of puddles in the wake of his heavy footsteps. He stopped short of the table, which had been moved to the center of the room, and glanced around.

"What's this? Where is the wizard?" he asked.

"He will be joining you shortly, captain," Titus said, drawing on his time at the cleric's academy when formal speech and respect for superiors had been a requirement, "tonight's meeting will be catered, and I believe the first dish will be out shortly. Please, have a seat."

The captain turned a beady gaze on Titus, his emotions still unreadable. He inhaled deeply, no doubt taking in the enticing smells wafting from the kitchen, and seemed to relax. Without another word, he took a seat at the end of the table closest to the door. His massive frame filled up even the largest chair they had been able to find, and with the head of a shark and a body covered in smooth blue and white scales marred with scars, his presence was wholly incongruent with the surroundings.

In the kitchen, Autumn handed Iris a platter piled high with deep fried snake strips, "take these, we need to get him eating before the Fish Wizard comes out."

Iris took the tray and nodded dutifully, then blipped to the entrance of the kitchen and walked the rest of the way to the table. Though the Shark Titan's presence was every bit as intimidating as the last time he had been in the tavern, she felt only a fraction of the fear swelling in her stomach thanks to the Fearless Resolve feat she had developed after defeating the shock wizard in the forest. As she approached the table, the titan paid her no mind directly, but his eyes lingered on the platter of food in her hand.

"Fried strips of giant snake, hunted here in the Great Forest," Iris said, her voice only tremoring slightly as she placed the platter on the table, "the first of three courses will be Octopus Steak with a side of a cubed rabbit."

The Shark Titan said nothing in response, instead grabbing a handful of the snake strips from the plate and raising them over his head to drop them into his mouth. Iris tried not to stare at his rows of triangular teeth as his maw stretched open, and flinched when they snapped closed around the appetizer. He swallowed the strips without chewing and showed little reaction. After a short pause, he lifted the platter from the table, stretched open his maw once more, poured the rest of the strips into his mouth, and then handed the empty platter back to Iris.

"Right, uh," Iris shot a surprised glance at Titus, "I'll be back shortly with the first course."

Titus stepped up to the table as Iris blipped away, holding a large bottle from behind the bar, "wine?"

The Shark Titan nodded without looking at him. Titus filled the large goblet before the titan with wine, and then took a large step back. The titan grabbed the goblet and poured the entire contents into his mouth before placing it back on the table and motioning for more. Titus quickly moved to refill it.

"Tell the wizard I don't like waiting," the titan's words were simple, but his tone conveyed the threat plainly.

"Of course, captain," Titus said as he finished filling the goblet, then quickly departed for the kitchen.

"Where's the Fish Wizard?" Titus whispered as he entered the kitchen, "he's already getting angry."

"I don't know," Autumn hissed back, "he won't come out."

In the back of the kitchen between two shelves, Iris was crouched down and knocking on a hatch in the floor, "uh, Fish Wizard, it's time for the meeting."

There was no response. Autumn and Titus soon crowded behind her.

"How many times have you knocked?" Titus asked.

"Three," Autumn answered for her, "I think the bastard's trying to bail on us. Iris, open it."

"Are you sure--" Iris began.

"Would you rather deal with a pissed off wizard or a pissed off shark?" Autumn interrupted.

Iris couldn't argue with that, and cautiously hoisted open the hatch. Beneath it were the same dark waters as the last time she'd seen inside, but the Fish Wizard was nowhere to be found. Nailed to the underside of the hatch was a soggy letter, with poorly scrawled words which read "gone fishing."

"You gotta be fucking kidding me," Autumn said.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

"What do we do?" Titus asked.

"We need to get the first course out, quickly," Autumn said in a hurry, "Iris, help me in the kitchen, Titus, go buy us time."

Titus spread his arms in a questioning gesture, but Autumn ignored him as she got to work plating the first course. Iris blipped past Titus, turning to give him an apologetic shrug before joining Autumn in her tasks. Titus raced through ideas as he walked from the kitchen to the Shark Titan's table, discarding most as quickly as they came to him. When he found himself standing beside the table, the Shark Titan's beady eyes were staring at him.

"More wine, captain?" Titus said, fear evident in his voice.

"Where is the bastard wizard?" the Shark Titan demanded, slamming a fist on the table that bounced the cutlery and candles and nearly toppled the once again empty goblet.

Titus flinched, but recovered quickly, "perhaps something stronger--"

The Shark Titan sent the chair toppling behind him as he shot to his feet, "Bring. Me. The wizard."

Before Titus could formulate a reaction, Autumn and Iris exited the kitchen both carrying large platters in their hands. Iris carried two small platters of cubed rabbit dressed with gravy and garnished with fresh herbs, while Autumn carried a single, wide platter that contained a length of octopus tentacle. It had been chopped into thick, steak-like pieces, which had each been cooked separately before being delicately arranged back into place, giving the appearance that the tentacle had been cooked and sliced in place on the platter.

Iris placed one platter of cubed rabbit on the side of the table closest to the kitchen, then blipped to the other side and placed the other while Autumn filled the space left in the middle with the octopus platter. As she did so, Titus righted the fallen chair and moved it back into place behind the Titan.

"Pan seared octopus steak," Autumn said with pride, "slain by yours truly in the Great Forest and seasoned with herbs and spices gathered from throughout the western and central Giantrock regions. Served with a side of cubed Giant Rabbit, also locally harvested."

The Shark Titan shifted his glare from Autumn to the octopus platter, which he appraised for a moment as he slowly lowered himself back into his chair, "more wine," he said with a guttural tone.

Titus quickly obliged, and then the trio made their way back to the kitchen as calmly as they could manage. Once out of sight, they huddled in the back corner of the kitchen and exchanged stressed whispers.

"I'm not gonna be the one tell him about the wizard," Titus said firmly.

"Not it," Iris added.

"I'll do it, it's fine," Autumn hissed, "first we need to get him through the second course, hopefully he'll be feeling fat and happy by then. I'll time it so you guys can bring out the final course right after I tell him. Iris, how are we on time?"

Iris blipped across the kitchen to peek out the window, then blipped back to the others, "he's already eaten half the octopus."

"Fuck," Autumn said, "you two get the crab puffs ready, just pile them all on a single platter. I'll work on the soup and we'll follow up back-to-back to keep him eating through the second course."

The trio moved in a frenzy, and only moments later Iris was blipping out to the table with a small mountain of crab puffs while Titus followed behind her with a large bowl of dip. They reached the titan just as he was tossing the last chunk of octopus steak into his mouth, and seamlessly swapped the empty platters in front of him with the next appetizer.

The shark titan bared his razer teeth and bellowed a surprised laugh, "you kids know how to keep a pirate happy."

Iris smiled and nodded nervously while Titus poured the titan yet more wine. When the bottle ran dry at a half-filled goblet, Iris quickly blipped another bottle from behind the counter, uncorked it, and picked up where Titus left off. The titan immediately downed the contents of the goblet, and Iris refilled it once more as he tossed a handful of crab puffs into his mouth. Titus lingered near the table to continue filling his wine, while Iris blipped back to the kitchen where she found Autumn taste testing the next course. She frowned, added a small cup of dried and crushed spices, and stirred frantically.

"I think it's working," Iris whispered, "he's actually in a good mood right now."

"Grab me that bowl," Autumn said, pointing at a wide, shallow metal bowl across the kitchen.

Only a few moments later, the two rushed out of the kitchen with the next course. The titan spotted them coming, and quickly devoured the remaining crab puffs to make room for the incoming dish.

"Hydra and dumplings," Autumn said as she placed the large bowl of chunky soup on the table, "seasoned with local ingredients and served with freshly baked bread rolls made from grain sourced from the western grasslands."

"I remember you," the titan said, "you're that ambitious Hero I dragged out of the water after you tried riding a hydra head."

"Yes sir," Autumn nodded.

"Hmm," the shark titan picked up the bowl with one hand and tipped it into an open gullet, not minding the broth that clung to the edge of the bowl and missed his mouth to pour down his chest, "hah! You came out on top of that encounter in the end, lass. This is the best hydra I've eaten."

"Thank you," she lowered her head in a small bow.

"Tell me," the shark titan said, the mirth leaving his tone as he leveled a beady gaze on Autumn, "the Fish Wizard isn't here, is he?"

Autumn's eyes went wide, and Iris and Titus inched away.

"No sir," she said, "I mean-- captain. He agreed to be here, but the coward left a note backing out."

"Agreed?" The shark titan questioned, "the letter said this was his idea."

Autumn froze, silently chastising herself for her mistake, "right, well--"

"Do not lie to me, girl," the captain said in a deep, threatening tone.

Autumn gulped, then looked up at the titan with the bravest face she could muster, "this meeting was my idea, captain. It was a plan to lure you here so I could prepare you a dinner that would convince you to hire me as your chef aboard the Gaping Maw."

The titan was quiet. He stared at her with dark, emotionless eyes for an agonizing moment, and then shouted, "the balls on this one!" he erupted into raucous, booming laughter that filled the room.

Autumn stared in surprise as he laughed, while Iris and Titus took the opportunity to disappear into the kitchen.

When the Shark Titan's laughter finally subsided, he spoke casually, "tell you what, normally I'd eat you for a trick like this, but I like your spirit – and I like this meal even more. Bring me the final course, and afterwards we'll talk about that job."