12:37 PM

The small pot boiled, and the broth’s fragrance touched Leona. More budae jjigae (army stew). Already ate it once yesterday for dinner, but after having the Tormented Flesh for breakfast, this was a well-earned meal. The smell was nostalgic, of old times, like last week, when she hounded Alexander while he was cooking noodles.

Just ramen, but it was his. He had put some beef down, got some duck eggs, tofu, a bunch of vegetables, kimchi, and a simple meal became such a delight. All with the love of his hands. Althea had added so much hot sauce that he yelled at her for it but she didn’t care (personally, Leona couldn’t handle spice).

But Alexander wasn’t here right now. Nor was Damien. Or Vernon. The men left, busy with their own things. Damien wanted to meet with a professor, Vernon was… Well, Leona didn’t know. And of course, Alexander had a meeting. It was fairly obvious that he was hiding something from the rest of the party but she understood the secrecy: Pereyra was watching, and thus the less people in the know, the better.

Didn’t make it less depressing however. Even when she was with Althea, enjoying lunch. Her stomach simply didn’t agree with her.

Vernon had given them the things they needed alongside some extra goodies he bartered earlier: convenience store sausages and even a can of quail eggs. Things were getting more organized here though, in Ordo University. A large number of the refugees here had volunteered, doing anything they could to aid the war effort. Cleaning, treating the wounded, cooking—it was a wonderful sight to see. If only it hadn’t come from such awful circumstances.

Six hours ago, Pillar Vesper fell. Firebrand was killed alongside the rest of the people stationed there. Tewfik had slaughtered them all with extreme prejudice. Three hours ago, the Tormented Flesh fell. There were no casualties during its subjugation, thank goodness for that, but she wouldn’t forget the cursed boy. Another round of tragedies.

Tonight, at some point in this long, long night, Pereyra and Tewfik will attack Pillar Dawns. Due to the former’s information-gathering ability, they effectively knew the ins-and-outs of its structure, the personnel, the possible reinforcements, and the former could cut them all down with the same magic exhibited early this morning.

It’d mean the Ordo Outbreak Barrier will weaken, and Ordo will lose thousands more, and maybe… Maybe that’ll be it. Two Pillars destroyed within twenty-four hours, and it’d be enough for the civilian population to give up hope and abandon order. Meaning, Operation Scorcher could very well determine the fate of the world. How funny was that?

She’d laugh at how absurd that sounds but she couldn’t. She wished Archknell ordered her to do something productive. To keep her doing, not thinking. Thinking about how many memories were destroyed by the Comets. Thinking about Alexander’s apartment and how warm it’d felt. Or her internship at System Articles, and whether or not Carn was finally apprehended.

Why did the Sungrazers target Ordo specifically? Of all places, why Ordo? They knew Ordo had the strongest defenses against outbreaks; why not go literally anywhere else and find less resistance? Or maybe this was a message. To this world’s humanity: We will completely and utterly destroy you without fail, starting with your strongest warriors.

What an awful nightmare. At times like these, Mom and Dad would know exactly what to say. They always gave the best advice. A part of her wanted to message Alexander again and talk to him, to hear his lovely voice and snark, but he was busy and she couldn’t bear being a burden. So she tried to relive his warmth, like last night, when they both had woken up disturbed, and he didn’t hesitate to comfort her.

Will she lose that tonight?

How many people will die in this operation? The Tormented Flesh was dangerous enough. Yes, thousands of troops were being mobilized, and even Levin was joining the fray. But this meant nothing when Pereyra and Tewfik could summon hordes of monsters to overwhelm their forces, and they themselves could match some of Ordo’s best.

Was it possible to subjugate the two? While trying to minimize damage?

What about Alba? Leona imagined the worst scenario: a complete and total slaughter. Damien, oddly enough, wouldn’t be impressed by his own death. He’d just chuckle and smile like dying was something inconvenient like needing to make several trips to the store. Sometimes his nonchalance was frightening, as though nothing could truly disturb him.

Vernon? Sweet, dorky Vernon? A lot of his antics reminded Leona of herself when Mom and Dad were still around—how much she tried to impress them. How much they’d kiss her head and encourage her. Because she was their daughter; it was a gift being loved by them, to be noticed, acknowledged. As equals during training, as their child any other time. Vernon, sadly, was always seen as a child, no different than a bratty kid going viral.

And the Shens… It was unimaginably painful to envision them hurt, or worse. One time, a year ago, Alexander had accidentally cut himself with the knife, made this yelp and blood ran down his hand, trickled onto the floor, and it was so red. So, so red. Aborrently red.

Leona had almost vomited then, out of fear that she’d never felt before.

Oh, and Althea. She kept getting into confrontations throughout high school. Sometimes she’d come home with scratched or small cuts—“Just some bitches,” she’d say, scoffing. Last fall, she had a physical fight with a boy because he’d said she “looked like a whore”. Ended up getting suspended for a week.

Althea took after her brother like that. Having heard a few stories about High Home though, Leona wasn’t quite sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Regardless, that didn’t matter. The Shens were wonderful people who deserved the world. But the world thought otherwise so many times that you’d think it was acting out of spite. As if the world was constantly calculating the worst outcome. Like Hangzhou, like today.

Ruminating on these dark thoughts wasn’t a good thing, of course they weren’t. But she couldn’t be delusional! She couldn’t turn away and pretend the danger didn’t exist, that everything was sunshine and rainbows and there’ll be a happily ever after waiting for them! Tewfik killed Firebrand! Aiden was dead! Ariella won’t have her big brother anymore and Sage lost one of the few people who’d truly understood her!

This reality, this dark and depressing reality was a genuine logical possibility! And Leona knew this, because it’d been rooted in past evidence and experiences. Yes, this wasn’t positive thinking but it wasn’t wrong. None of her thoughts or ‘fantasies’ were inherently false, because it’d happen once and it meant it could happen again.

Leona had always prided herself on her logic, demonstrated in her studies and work, so surely—!

“Leo.” Someone nudged her. The touch broke her from her thoughts, and she realized she had been staring blankly into her stew. For an embarrassingly long time, she thought.

“Ah.” I was doing it again. “Nothing’s wrong, Thea.” Just when I was beginning to get better, this disaster had to happen. I’m such a disgrace. “I’m fine, I’m perfectly fine. You don’t have to worry about it—“

“I literally said nothing else,” Althea cut, tapped her fork into her bowl, having the head dive into the stew, and she swirled it around. “I mean, I was gonna say that soup makes for awful mirrors. Especially something as red and cloudy as this one.”

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“Y-Yeah…” Leona gulped. She grabbed her water bottle and drank the rest. I’m such a mess that even Althea noticed.

Althea followed, “Want me to go find that asshole and kick his dick in?“

“Huh?”

“Alex, y’know, that-guy-who-says-you-two-aren’t-dating-but-you-basically-are-at-this-point.” Althea blinked, unamused. “My brother, Alex.”

“What? No no no, he didn’t do anything—“

“He ditched us. He must’ve said something mean if your eyes are getting kinda glossy.”

“Huh?” Leona wiped her eyes and felt a dabble of wetness on her palms. She softly cursed herself. “No, it’s nothing like that, no. I just…” I’m pathetic. “…I miss him, that's all.”

Althea didn’t respond at first. She took a good clump of noodles, a slice of spam and carrot, and ate it. It must’ve been tasty but she didn’t look satisfied. “You gonna eat?”

“I’m not that hungry.” My appetite’s ruined.

“I’m annoyed at Alex too,” Althea said, “I’ve been annoyed for years now. He’s the asshole who tells me to eat with my back straight, to not stay up at night on my phone or I would need to wear glasses like he does, who kicks me off the TV and forces me to study, who always insults my fashion choices, throwing a blanket on me and says, ‘Cover up or I’m making you wear a coat.’ Of all guys, why do I have him as my brother?”

Leona’s lips tightened. “You shouldn’t badmouth your brother like that, Althea. He’s looking out for you.”

“Yeah, doesn’t make it any less frustrating. But do you know what pisses me off the most?” Althea paused for emphasis. “He tries to act like how big brothers normally would: responsible and cool and badass and all that bullshit—and worst of all, stubborn. Sometimes, he refuses to talk about his problems. Sometimes, he prefers beating up a punching bag.

“I get it though. There’s moments when I wanna be left alone, but he’d always check up on me. He’d go out of his way to make a favorite of mine. So when I try to return the favor, I get shot down. It’s not fair. We’re a team, and I might be one shitty player but aren’t we both?”

A laugh squeaked out of Leona, startling her. It was a pleasant one. “Thea—”

“And do you know something, Leo?” she continued. “After all that shit I’ve went through, it’s so easy to, fuck I dunno, regress? Everything about today reminds me of Hangzhou, like holy shit, sometimes it’s an exact replica. After this, I’m expecting to lock myself in my room and speak to no one.

“‘Cause like…” Althea shrugged. “‘Cause like the Tormented Flesh, y’know? I keep thinking back to Julius High, where it would’ve reanimated everyone who’d died there. People I knew. Hated. Was fond of even. And even right now, I could hear them groan about how their lives kinda just…poof, gone. Then, they’d turn to me and ask me how I survived and why they didn’t.”

Leona was awestruck. Althea spoke with such articulation that it was envious. Most people wouldn’t have the ability to communicate her experiences. It’d be that traumatic, let alone processing them in the first place. But here she was, speaking clearly, soundly, and with confidence. Most of all, trust, that Leona would listen.

So she listened.

“Why did I survive? It’s a really good question. I asked myself that since Hangzhou so I had time to come up with a good answer.” Althea stared into the stew like it was a mirror. “It’s because I became a Pseudo and got a little lucky. And they died because the world’s not a sunny place. That’s why the Tormented Flesh was created, right? Because the world killed him. And I killed—no, I released the zombies from their hell.

“What happened in Julius was awful. What happened with the Tormented Flesh was awful. And that’s why Alex’s letting us fight. Because otherwise, how else will we deal with the demons inside us? And yeah, we’re in Hell one-hundred-percent, but at least I’m in Hell with you. It’s better dying on our feet than living on our knees, I’d say.”

A swirl of emotions bubbled inside Leona’s heart. Warmth, sadness, anger, it all mixed together just like this stew. She clutched her [True Protector’s Amulet], holding it tightly, thinking about Alexander and Althea and Mom and Dad and Auntie—everyone important in her life, everyone she loved. She inhaled, feeling the tears welling in her eyes.

I’m no match for her. “Gosh Althea, you’re too clever for me. You’re too sweet, and God, you’re just too much in general. It’s not fair that you can say something like that. I… I don’t know. Really…

“I miss my parents. I miss my mom, who would always kiss my forehead and call me ‘little lion’, and Dad, who’d treated me like I was everything—they were my heroes. They promised they’d never leave me. Then they did. And when my heroes died, so had my entire world. Since then, no one could give me the same love. Not Seraph, not anyone in Angels, not even my auntie.

“In high school, I couldn’t keep any long-term friends because I’d thought they would abandon me; for the same reason, I couldn’t maintain any relationships. Althea sweetheart, I had everything I wanted, then I was left with nothing. I was stuck in a new city, in a new culture, with no one to rely on but my aunt.

“And…” Leona gulped, a slight pain ringing inside her stomach. “...Well, I had to learn a lot, just like you had with your uncle. And so I returned to Ordo, enrolled in OU in some major just to make money, I don’t know.

“But then, in my sophomore year, I was assigned a two-person project. Somehow, I ended up partnering with the infamous Survivor of Hangzhou, the one I heard so much about from my friends in Systemic Works. We didn’t get along well at the beginning. Our stubbornness clashed together. Worst part about it: as much as I despised him, he was exactly my type funnily enough.

“We somehow finished our project with good marks and I would never have to speak with him again. Until…”

Althea smiled. “Until one day, you saw that a few guys were harassing a teenage girl. Just as you were gonna step in, that girl kicked a guy in the balls as her big brother taught her how. You pulled her away and escaped before anything worse could happen.”

“Mhm. Since then, I was entangled with the Shens. For the first time in a long time, Ordo felt like home. So…” Leona felt tears in her eyes. “Seeing the state it’s in now, it’s as if the Sungrazers are twisting a knife into my heart. After watching Pereyra dismantle Luster one-by-one, after hearing Pillar Vesper’s fall, I’m so terrified for what’s next.

“It’s exactly what you said. I used to imagine the worst case scenarios over and over, and I find myself falling back to the same tricks. I can’t stop imagining it: a future where all of you are gone and I’m here, abandoned, alone again.” That’s why I want to see Alex again, to be sure of him. “Do you know why I call you in the morning sometimes? Before this, I mean?

“It’s because I had a nightmare that you were gone. I wanted to hear your beautiful voice again, and although it was selfish of me, I always try to make the call last as long as I could. Last night even, I dreamt that Alex was gone. He was standing outside our tent and we talked. And he embraced me, staying like that as long as I needed.

“You are just as inspirational as he is, sweetheart. I want to be as strong as you and Alexander—”

“It’s weird when you say that, Leo,” Althea said with the same gloss in her eyes. “You’re the strongest person in my eyes.”

“Oh be quiet. I mean it, really.” Leona wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’ll give you the world if you let me. Whatever Alexander’s planning with Archknell and Sage, I don’t care. I want to destroy the Sungrazers. With you, Vernon, Damien, and Alex. The five of us. What did you say again? Right, I prefer to die on our feet than living on our knees.”

“Leo…” Althea smiled, and Leona did too, and they both laughed. Not once were their expressions forced.

Leona got up and moved to Althea’s side of the table, pulling her in for a warm hug. For only a moment, they banished the outside world and lived in their own bubble, that had only themselves and the warmth they shared, determined to protect it with their very lives.

And Leona told her, “I love you, Althea.”

“I love you too, Leo,” she mumbled a sweet reply.

“I won’t let anything happen to you or Alex,” promised Leona. The gruesome, toxic thoughts that plagued her before melted away. All she saw was her little sister. “We’ll get through this together.”

No matter the odds, humanity will come together and be stronger than the sum of their parts. It was impossible for the Comets to match their strength. Their worst mistake was revealing themselves to be the masterminds behind the invasion.

It made it all the more easier to hate them, and to unify.