Capitolium: Yes, but it’s too early to tell whether you addressed the non-hockey factors beyond trying to go for obliviousness to love, and making both workaholics
Caroline: And you said I had some relatively good characters
Relatively good compared to what? I might be willing to accept if it was comparing debut books against each other. Beyond that, while I accepted characters were key to making a good romance work, Capitolium made me feel like requests for hockey romance books with actual hockey in the plot were commonly requested, an annoyed Caro is also confused. How could I somehow grasp that characters, and how they interact with each other, are key to make a good relationship work, and take over two weeks understand that hockey romance readers will judge a book by the relationship and not by the hockey?
Capitolium: I can kind of feel like you’re not going to make them flat, but you might struggle somewhat going forward to give character development for Emma
Caroline: Perhaps I could give her more development after Gustavs buys her a second-hand ticket for the Backcrackers game
Especially when she knew that, even in Montreal, a market known to so many in the hockey world to have one of the toughest media environments, media focused mostly on the on-ice action, the transactional and the injuries.
Oh yes… Gustavs will be out for revenge during that game! What happens off-ice with the WAGs usually flies under the media radar, and usually remains internal to the team when you deal with WAGs like Emma. Yet for all of Glitter’s flaws as a reviewer, up to this point, she was confident that I had the intellectual capabilities to see this project through. But… why? Why did it take me over two weeks to get past the hockey aspect of a hockey romance? It’s unnaturally slow for me! Was I tricked by how natural I made the hockey aspect feel? Did Capitolium’s bitterness rub on me, and made me bitter as well? Capitolium’s DM gives her a lot to think about.
“C’est de valeur, mais qu’est-ce que j’ai fait pour être devenue aussi idiote?” (It sucks, but what did I do to become that dumb?) Caro cries about what she perceived as her intellectual failing.
Her dad overhears her crying in her bedroom. “Tu ne m’as jamais parue idiote” (You never appeared dumb to me!)
“C’est pas une question de critique, ça m’a pris des semaines pour comprendre que les gens jugent les romans à la glace de rose par les relations amoureuses plutôt que par le hockey!” (It’s not a question of criticism, it took me weeks to understand that people judged hockey romance books by the relationships and not the hockey!)
“Pogne-toi pas les nerfs. J’y suis peut-être pour quelque chose” (Don’t get mad at me, I might have something to do)
Has my daughter been too demanding on the hockey aspect? Caro’s dad questions whether he encouraged her the wrong way. I did tell her better a hockey romance with hockey than one without, though.
He then returns to reading what she wrote so far, and feel like Emma had a limited social life, restricted essentially to workplace after hours. Yes, Caro made Emma’s intellect feel natural, and made her not totally powerless.
While it’s clear that Glitter isn’t as smart as I am, I don’t rub it in. However, this entire fiasco makes me feel like I’m not as smart as she thinks I am. Or I had a blind spot somewhere, and it had to fall on that one thing! I thought that readers had too wide a range of tastes to judge hockey romance based on any specific aspect… But of course! Readers value different things in a book relationship, and I can’t cater to everyone! Perhaps I’m still as smart as I used to be! Caro regains some semblance of clarity.
But on Monday, at work, Caro meets with her colleagues once again, and she has yet to realize that something isn’t right.
“Je dois avouer qu’avec les Backcrackers, tu étais un peu… broche-à-foin” (With the Backcrackers, you were a little… haphazard) Jacques comments on the changes he made Caro do on air.
“Tout ce que je savais du Kraken sur BookTok, c’était des images explicites avec Krack my Back et la femme du joueur dessus qui a pété sa coche!” (All I knew about the Kraken on BookTok was explicit photos with Krack my Back and the wife of the player on it who got angry!) Caro defends herself.
“Je veux bien croire que changer les noms des équipes et ceux des joueurs est une bonne idée, mais une chance que tu as laissé l’entraîneur-chef des Backcrackers sans nom!” (I believe changing the names of the teams and players is a good idea, but thank goodness you left the Backckrackers’ head coach unnamed!) “Chelymun” comments on the whole meeting with Gustavs and the other Backcrackers’ waivees in the opening chapter.
“Marie-France, il y avait une raison juridique pour demander ça à Caroline” (Marie-France, there was a legal reason for asking that of Caroline) Jacques follows up on Chelymun’s, erm, Marie-France’s comment.
“Est-ce vous qui m’avez dit que j’ai trop lié le livre à la saison courante du Canadien” (Were you the one who told me that I tied the book to the current Canadiens season too much?) Caro asks Jacques before returning to work.
“Oui”
Damn it! I didn’t realize the mystery viewer of Saturday’s stream was Jacques, from the legal department! And perhaps Emma is drawn to Gus because, as a workaholic, she feels another workaholic would be more likely to make the relationship work! As well as respect one’s life outside the relationship! Caro starts having some more ideas for Player Masher.
But she is also reminded of some traps some inexperienced romance writers can fall into. Wanting the relationship to be all-consuming for one side, regardless of the abuse level or personalities. Easier to understand if the relationship is not abusive.
And yet, for the rest of the day at work, whenever she needs a bathroom break, she also takes advantage of it to continue writing Player Masher in the bathroom, line by line.
Such as this paragraph about Emma’s thoughts: It seems like a lot of men have difficulty dealing with a girlfriend with poor work-life balance, even if they accepted their girlfriends to contribute in some way. Assuming they respect your hectic schedule, you must cherish what little time you have with them. Which was the only paragraph she managed to write in that specific break, before she struggles to think of what could push Emma towards Gus again, except maybe Gus buying her a ticket for the Backcrackers-Constellations game.
Speaking of that game scene, upon returning home, in Charlesbourg, she starts realizing that it’s a little cheesy, and Gus surprises her by buying her a ticket to a Constellations game.
Before her stream begins, she starts updating her word count, and not simply to check whether she’s on track for the daily par achievement. 2142 words on day 1, 3666 on day 2, 3480 on day 3… I’m going to overshoot, or finish early, and miss out on this 100% I promised my viewers! However, I don’t expect to get 3k+ days on weekdays, As tempting as it might be to just add more games, if I feel the 100% is in danger, I might want to reread some parts I feel are questionable if I get to this point, she starts sweating as that night’s stream is about to begin.
This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“Welcome to tonight’s stream, and, before we resume writing Player Masher, we start by leveling the new unit of the battle pass!” Caro starts the stream while she has yet to activate the sequence of the battle pass claim.
Once the battle pass reward for the week is claimed, prior to getting the daily quest on the road, she reviews what’s available at the pub for dispatch quests. Of which there are 3 varieties: timed, battle-based or enemy-based. And she needs to check on the body language of her massive roster of units to determine who to send out and at what cost.
Jacques: Forgive me for not knowing anything about that game, but what are the pros and cons of dispatch mission types?
“Timed dispatch missions reward, and cost, the least. Battle-based and kill-based tend to favor different playing styles, but reward approximately the same in the long run. Obviously, more battles or enemies to kill mean missions take longer for more rewards, and also cost more to undertake” Caro answers her work colleague.
The most expensive require as many as 7 battles, or as many as 50 kills, so it seems like PvE lovers prefer kill-based missions since enemies can spawn reinforcements, usually 1-2 per wave, whereas PvP matches don’t have reinforcements, and hence favor the battle-based ones, Caro starts thinking of who do battle-based and kill-based missions reward. However, she has enough units to deploy the maximum number of units on dispatch quests without affecting her ability to complete them.
“That’s the main reason for people to keep large numbers in reserve” Glitter adds on VC.
She then plays under the watchful eye of Glitter, who is watching her before she plays the game herself. Fingers crossed that Glitter will leave the stream once this playing session is all over, as I suggested her to do last time.
The streamer starts with showing a PvP match, and then one of these overworld fights or repeats of story beats, in that order. In different difficulties for the last one. After the third of the 7 battles one of the quests she sent an unit on requires…
Marie-France (Chelymun), bewildered by the costs of doing battle: What can you do when you’re broke, and can’t send anyone on a dispatch quest or fight?
“Chelymun, there is only one thing you can do then, if that happens in the early game: fight in the overworld. Overworld battles usually yield money or items you can sell”
“However, overworld battles don’t pay very well” Glitter warns Marie-France as the fourth battle begins and Caro keeps an eye on the kill counter and the battle counter.
But after the remaining 4 battles for the quest’s completion are said and done, she barely gets to the 50 kills required for the most expensive dispatch quests she sent units on. Once the haul is confirmed, along with the extra xp points for the battle pass:
“Goodbye, Caro” Glitter then leaves the stream, while Capitolium, Sampoong and Lagado all enter it.
At this point in the stream, Caro updates her daily word count, which sits at 711, for a total word count of 9999. One more word and the seventh cheevo will be unlocked!
“So hang on tight, I’m writing the scene where Emma receives a free ticket for the Backcrackers game…”
Just write one more paragraph, and I shall update the word count again! It seems like I’m overtaken by Capitolium, too! Caro receives Capitolium’s word count update, and now Capitolium is well over 10,000 words on his project about a dunce major junior hockey player who hits on the daughter of the billet family during his first year of NHL draft eligibility, and knows he must become a star in major junior if he is to even make it to the NHL.
That paragraph in question is about Emma asking Gustavs about whether there are any strings attached to this gift of a ticket to a hockey game.
Conclusion: Emma is responsible for any food bought before and during the game. Speaking of which, because she feels like it’s an event in her life that doesn’t happen very often, she should peruse the in-seat food options, or, barring that, eat elsewhere for the pre-game meal. If she finds the in-game options unaffordable, that is.
Which leads Emma to question how much she’s willing to spend on food at the game. Time to update my word count, I guess… Caro sighs after she finishes writing the paragraph about choosing a place to eat for the night.
“Woohoo! I made it, I hit ten thousand words!” an ecstatic Caro shouts for joy. “I’ll take suggestions for places to eat around Centre Bell, even though the name is left out of the book”
Lagado: Ask yourself what Emma’s eating habits are, and pick accordingly
“That’s a lot of places to choose from, and for a wide range of budgets” Sampoong retorts.
“Yeah, Caro, don’t waste this opportunity to flesh out Emma a little bit!” Capitolium begs the streamer.
And, of course, her chat reminds her of how Montreal is one of the big restaurant cities in the NHL. Which pushes Caro to think what she might want to eat some fine dining for that occasion she deems special. But even that didn’t seem to do the trick. Oh boy: maybe I could want Emma to be the kind of girl who might be willing to get the finer things in life, especially food and clothing. But she still wants to save for retirement.
What’s to follow in this stream turns into a discussion of Montreal’s foodie scene. Everyone seems to have their own ideas, their own preferences, for what they value in a restaurant to eat in, and certainly for a pre-game meal.
“Just don’t make her eat at La Belle et la Bœuf, please” Sampoong suggests to the streamer.
“Maybe have her eat what she normally wouldn’t!” Capitolium suggests in turn.
“Gyu-Kaku it is, I guess…” she sighs.
She hastily writes her pre-game experience of Emma eating at Gyu-Kaku, eating umakara BBQ, and some sushi along with it. About how she feels like there’s nothing like a good meal to get pumped up prior to a hockey game.
Speaking of the hockey game, she starts writing a game sequence in the first period… Nattinen closes in on the trapezoid, what a hit by Kurpnieks! Nattinen broke his ears as the crowd got loud after the hit and he limps back to the Backcrackers’ bench.
But then Gustavs rushes back into the neutral zone with the puck, passes to number 27, Macer, and then at number 48, Dumaurier, shoots, save with the blocker. Vendôme grabs the rebound, passes to Macer in the trapezoid, deflection by Kurpnieks and… the puck crosses the goal line.
“Le but des Constellations, son premier de la saison, compté par le numéro soixante-et-un, Constellations goal, his first of the season, scored by number sixty-one, Gustavs Kurpnieks! Avec l’aide du numéro vingt-sept, assisted by number twenty-seven. Jared Macer! Et du numéro quatre-vingt-cinq, and number eighty-five, Simon Vendôme! À cinq minutes trente-neuf secondes, at five minutes thirty-nine seconds” Caro reads out loud that passage, as if she was the Centre Bell’s home announcer, while writing another passage.
In the third period, Nattinen is back into play, after having suffered some bruises in the first period, hits Kurpnieks as he’s about to clear the puck from the defensive zone. As payback for the big hit on him during the first period, Caro writes about what happens later in the game. After the game, won by the Constellations, he showers, along with his teammates, and the gear being sent for washing because playing a game at that level of intensity results in stinky gear. And, of course, making Emma catch a glimpse of Gustavs after the game ends.
Maridun: Now is the time to make Gustavs catch a glimpse of Emma!
And Emma then tells him, “merci pour ce soir”, which then makes him blush, Caro proceeds to write about how Emma has questions for him, but is too afraid to be embarrassed in front of him to do so.
“De rien, Emma” (You’re welcome, Emma) Caro reads the following line from Gustavs.
Marie-France: And he made an effort to learn French!
“He couldn’t learn a whole lot of French in just a few weeks” Sampoong comments on that passage, while Caro adds the reaction of Emma to Gustavs speaking French with a Latvian accent. And keeping her in mind if he needs further assistance with learning French.
And she makes me feel like I have a lot of stuff missing, and I can no more pad word count by adding more games than she can. But I don’t want to make it sound like my own protag is misogynistic if I plan to increase his dependence on the FMC for academic stuff… And yet, I want to show the MMC go both to the World Juniors and the Memorial Cup playoffs, Capitolium thinks about how to go around writing his book, with perhaps a few more games, the ones with NHL scouts watching him. The games I can write without problems. The complications come from writing, well, the FMC, and that I should ask someone else, because so much has changed since Caro was the age of the FMC! Capitolium then goes around looking for additional Discord servers where he could potentially meet with other NaNo participants, preferably a girl in his FMC’s age bracket. And maybe even advertise Caro’s stream on it, too.