image [https://i.imgur.com/MXfy7Q7.jpeg]
Fabio
I left my friends to party and plopped back into my chair. It was exhausting to keep up the facade all the time. I took off my jacket, tossed it onto a chair in the corner, and turned on the monitors in front of me. I hated that they were shaped like an old-school DM screen—I could use more digital real estate to monitor my friends better.
I wished I could laugh like Ghimli right now, as an old Han Solo pun was thrown into the air, but my mind was racing. I hated that I put them at risk. I hated that I was stuck in this situation where I couldn’t help them in any meaningful way. I took another pill for my constant headache when a knock on my door pulled me out of my self-pity party.
“Who is it?”
“Mortmer.”
“Come in, Mort.”
Mortmer opened the door, revealing his new form. I knew him before this whole debacle—he was a nice enough guy with long mutton chops and a military-style haircut. He used to be a buff dude, probably a former athlete, but now he was a skinny gnome with long red hair and a pointed goatee. The contrast was hilarious at first, but I wasn’t in the mood.
“Dude, are you okay? You look sick.”
“Yeah, just a migraine. Nothing new. What’s up?”
“We’re in a good position now. Only four parties failed, and the other ninety-six leveled up.”
“That’s good news. What’s the prediction for the next level?”
“About seventy.”
“That’s not so good. Why?”
“The quests they took weren’t optimal. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Don’t tell me…” I looked at the gnome with newfound worry and a heavier pounding in my head.
“Yeah…” he lowered his head.
“Which one?” I stood up to take the tablet from his hand.
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“Braundes’ Mansion,” he said with a heavy tone.
“Oh. Shit.” I sank back into my chair and watched as Bea chugged a mug of ale the size of her head.
“I bet they’ll be fine.”
“I know. But this is bad.”
Bea’s image was projected onto the larger screen, and I watched carefully as her demeanor changed while she talked to Ghimli. A sincere smile crept onto my face.
“What’s that?” Mortmer sat beside me on what looked like a bar stool—he carried that thing in his bag of holding all the time.
“It’s the start of what I’ve planned.”
“I still don’t get it. What’s up with her? She’s never played RPGs, never played games, the only fantasy she’s read had the wrong type of vampires and fey in them. She’s out of her depth. Why do you put all your chips on her? I could see the Tiefling and the Orc, but her and the human… I just don’t get it.”
“That’s exactly why, Mort. She’s fresh. She doesn’t have all our preconceived notions of what each archetype should do or what each monster is. She’ll keep them grounded. Doc is the opposite—he’s the pain in my ass. He keeps me grounded. He’s the classic Rules Lawyer.”
“I still think you’re making a mistake, Fabio,” Mortmer shrugged.
“Maybe. But I still have my hopes up.”
Mortmer tapped my shoulder and left, leaving me watching the discussion of my group’s new quests. I read the Braundes’ quest on my tablet and noticed something wrong.
Missing Person.
A group of lumberjacks went missing after collecting wood near the Braundes’ property. Reports said that monsters were surrounding the area.
Recommended Level: 4.
Reward: 40 Gold Pieces.
“Fuck! Those stupid fucking idiots!” I shouted and picked up my phone.
A bored voice answered on the other side. “DM in Distress Hotline, Katia speaking.”
“Katia, this is Fabio. Could you please transfer me to Hector?”
“Hector is not available. Do you want to leave a message?” Her tone somehow became even more bored.
“Katia, listen to me. I know Hector is picking his nose in the office next to you. Please, transfer me to him.”
“Hector is not available. Do you want to leave a message?” she repeated.
“Look, Katia, tell Hector that he screwed up big time. Braundes’ Mansion was a Level 10 quest, so why the HELL is it being distributed as Level Four?”
“Hector is not available. Do you—” I hung up before she could finish and let out an angsty yell.
This was bad—really, really bad. When Mortmer told me they picked up this quest, I thought they would pace themselves, pick up some other quests along the way. But they had to pick the other quest right next to it.
They would get themselves killed, and I couldn’t do anything to help.
“Trust them,” a high-pitched voice came from the door. The large muscular figure stood looking at the image of Doc laughing at the table.
“Sorry, I don’t feel like hearing some dick jokes right now,” I told the small god.
“Yeah, I don’t feel like telling them,” Wee Wee responded. “But we’re not all wieners.”
I rolled my eyes. “I trust them, but they bit off more than they could chew.” The god looked at me with a side-eye. “Old habits,” I answered at the terrible pun.
“They’ll be fine. I bet my name on it.”
“Yeah. You kinda already did…”
We stood in silence, looking at the light banter at the table. They looked happy right now. I just wished they could stay that way. If only I had an actual wish…