"Come on, Laura-chan, stop glaring at me. I promise you'll like it!" Makino said, trying to put me in a pink, frilly little dress.

"No. Go die," I said as I hid under the bed further. "Don't you say that, young lady! Who taught you to speak like that!" Makino screamed.

I didn't answer as I snapped and bit at any hand that came my way. After a couple of minutes, Makino sighed and rubbed her face.

"If you put this on and be good for the day, I'll give you a slice of cake?" Makino offered, crouched down so she could look at me, who abused my small form to hide under the bed.

"Two slices and it's a deal," I said. Pride? Pfft. Who needs that when you have a delicious cake.

"Fine..." Makino sighed, and I cautiously climbed out from the bed, ready to dart at the first sign of betrayal. There was none as Makino stood there expectantly, pink dress in hand.

I grumbled a little as she put my tiny four-year-old body in the dress. I would never understand this woman, I did everything I could to scare her away from me, but she kept coming back every single fucking time.

Once, I literally bit her hand so hard it bled, but she'd still ended up winning and forcing me into doing whatever she'd wanted me to do. Can't remember what though.

As I grumbled and mumbled, Makino finally finished her last touches and gave me a small smile as an okay to go. I dashed out of the room and down into the bar that Makino owned.

I glared at anyone and anything that looked at me. The people here had long since gotten used to the fact that if they dared tease me, bad things would happen.

Grabbing two slices of pie off of the kitchen stove, I ran off into the town, eating the sweet little things as I made my way to the port, my favorite hang-out place.

Letting out a small burp, I looked down at myself. Grimacing, I realized that maybe it was time to start training, but I had no experience in how to train a brat's body. Or training at all, really. In my old world, genetical enhancement was the big deal, but in this world, you do it the old fashioned way and somehow it works wonders.

Also, pirates. No idea why. They're pretty dumb, to be honest. Also, the shit-eater wanted to be one, no idea why. He was screaming his head off the other day about wanting to be the pirate king and whatnot. Hah, king of the seas, my cute female ass. A brat like him would die the first day out at sea, I bet all my nonexistent money on it.

Kinda hoping that would happen. Or not. That'd be too quick. Brat needed a good painful death to show him the cruelty of this world, his innocence made me cringe...

As I thought all of this with a dark face, I bumped into someone. Blinking, I looked up at the tower of a man in front of me, who was bent over and looking at me with scrutinous eyes.

"... You're ugly. You should hang yourself. Also, good morning, grandfather. How are you doing?" I said in quick succession, my blank face never changing. It was a neat trick that confused people. First, insult them, then, act normal. It threw them off, and it worked wond-

A laugh escaped the old man as he strangled and tried to kill me oh god i'm dying hugged me in a very enthusiastic manner. "Ah, you sound just like this old man of yours! Laura, wasn't it? Hehe, where's the other brat? Grandpa Garp's here to give you a crash course on everything a good marine needs to know!"

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"Ah, he's at Makino's." I gasped, trying to breathe. "I-I can't breathe!" I tried to scream, and finally, the old man quickly let me go.

I fell on my butt, heaving for breath, and then GLARED at the man with everything I had. With a huff, I walked off, feet stomping on the ground.

Behind me, the shitty old man scratched his head, talking to the thin man that I remember from the ship, saying something along the lines of "What'd I do wrong?"

Answer: Everything. Die, please. Do the world a favor.

Eyebrows furrowed and eyes filled with venom, I ran off to Makino's. Despite his attempt to kill me and my desire to do otherwise, I'd heard from the idiots here that Garp was a Big Deal, like, father level of Big Deal. Thus, training of any kind from such a figure would very much be appreciated.

Reaching the bar, I quietly entered and found Luffy sitting quietly in a corner by himself, looking wide-eyed at all the people in the place.

Sneaking up behind him, I grabbed his ear and dragged him, ignoring the 'ows' that he made. "Laura! Stop! What did I do this time!" Luffy cried in pain, and I snarled at him. "Nothing. Our grandfather, the one that never bothered show up before, decided that now was a splendid time to show up."

With practiced ease, I dragged him out of the building and was immediately met with my grandfather, who looked a bit put out. I released Luffy, who immediately took a nice chunk of distance away from me, and I glared at the man as I crossed my little kiddy arms under my non-existent chest. "Well, train us," I said.

Grandpa blinked.

I regret everything, I moaned, 5 days later. The fucking madman, I may not be an expert, but you do not train a child by throwing him/her at wild animals and say 'deal with it, or no dinner'. The fucking madman, crazy, bastard, insane, retarded, psychopathic, blind, deaf, dumb... Uh... Ugly. He's all of that and more.

I grumbled as I carefully nursed my own body, occasionally checking the crybaby next to me wasn't fucking up too bad. Makino was standing in the hallway, looking very much concerned.

Useless woman. Concern means nothing to me.

I glanced at Luffy and gave him a sharp slap on the head. "Idiot. You'll stop bloodflow if you tie it that tight. How the hell can you be so stupid?!" I gritted my teeth, ignoring Makino's sharp cry of "Language, Laura!"

Luffy was about ready to cry as I undid the bandaid on his arm and reapplied it. The useless child, I was kinda hoping he'd get eaten by one of the dumb beasts, but nooo, he just had to run towards me.

I had to beat them all by throwing sticks and stones at their faces until they ran away, all the while desperately dodging. I was four years old for god's sake. When Grandpa had tried to take away dinner, hell had broken loose, and the man's eyes were wide as saucers by the time my insult-fest was done and I'd ran away to avoid the repercussion called Makino.

"Laura..." Luffy's small voice called out as I checked over his bandages. I grunted in response, trying to urge him to say whatever was on his mind by willpower alone.

"I... I-I'm sorry I w-was useless..." Big, fat tears were streaming out now. "I-I even got y-you hurt!" He cried, pointing at the rather bad slash I'd got across my shoulder from having to tackle Luffy out of a dumb monkey's charge.

"Will you shut up already? If you feel useless, then next time, grind yourself to dust so you won't be useless the time after. Cry all you want, I don't care, but next time, don't just stand there and wait for one of the dumb animals to eat you." I grumbled. Alright, maybe the kid was growing a teeny tiny bit on me. I'd still feed him to the animals first chance I got, though.

He sniffled as he wiped his eyes, showing a bright smile afterward. "O-okay!" He said, fist-pumping.

Breakfast next morning was rather awkward, with Grandpa having joined us, but looking distinctly out of his depth after the horrible chew-out I'd given him the day before. Getting scolded by his four-year-old niece and not even being able to come up with a counterargument. What a sad man.

By the end of breakfast, I stood up, grabbing Luffy by his shoulder and heaving him up. "Grandpa dearest, please train us today too. To be marines and whatnot." I said. There was silence for a couple

The silence was broken by Luffy, who instantly shouted, "But I wanna be a pir-" He was shut up as a guffawing Garps easily picked both of us up. "Bwahaha, now that's my granddaughter! Alright, let's go!"

While he was still an insane maniac hell-bent on murdering us, as long as he was more careful and aware of our age, his methods yielded results, so who was I to complain?