"Get in." The guard said, shoving another man inside. "Is the Death Chair ready for this bastard?" The guard questioned another one, receiving a fierce nod.

Turning around, the soon-to-be corpse gave one last look at the gathered group of guards, all of their plasma rifles pointed at him, ready to erase him from the face of the earth if he didn't comply.

Reigning in a cold glare, the man slowly made his way to the chair and sat down on it, closing his eyes. Immediately, a pair of cuffs rose up from the chair, locking his neck, hands, and legs to the chair. 

"According to the Prisoner Edict of 5042, you have the right to some last words. They will be available for everyone involved in your case to hear." The first guard said, his voice cold and emotionless. 

Humming softly, the man closed his eyes while taking a deep breath. "I don't have anything to say. No, perhaps, the only thing I can say here is that I wish you'd just killed me five hundred years ago."

The guard didn't say anything as he nodded to another man dressed in black and wearing a black veil around his head. Receiving his confirmation, the man clicked a button on the control panel hidden in a wall. 

Destructive plasma flowed from the chair into the man. Given the strength of the bodies of humanity in this day and age, electricity would only barely tickle.

The man didn't even scream as his body roasted from the inside. His eyes held a sort of resignation, along with a pretty visible trace of relief. Finally, a minute later, all that remained of the prisoner was a charred corpse.

Just like that, an infamous murderer's life came to a close.

Or so should have been.

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"Ohohoh, look at you, brat. You look disgusting" A voice resonated from within the void.

A soul floated there. Well, floated might not be the appropriate term, since space, direction, time and all that jazz were pretty messed up within the void.

The soul itself was heavily torn, and instead of the usual white and gray colors of a normal soul, this one was colored almost entirely red.

There was a pregnant pause as the soul realized it hadn't actually died. Well, not in the conventional sense, at least.

"I'm... alive?" A small voice came from the soul. "Hah, no. You're dead alright. However, I, the great and awesome Borg of Barg, have decided that you're worthy of reincarnating!"

There was another pause as the soul comprehended everything that was happening. "So you're gonna give a second chance to a sinner like me?"

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

"Well, I wouldn't really call it a second chance. Jokes aside, it's a hobby of mine to collect and reincarnate special souls. You fit the criteria, and you've done some... entertaining things in your life." The voice said it's tone containing a small trace of mockery.

"Understatement of the century" The soul hummed. "Say, if I asked you to just end me right here and right now, would you do it?"

"Of course not. I may be a god and whatnot, but even we have some rules we have to follow. One of those is that extinguishing souls is the biggest no-no of no-nos." It said with a small tremble of fear at the end.

"Anyways, since I've chosen you, I'll give you something you like. Although, don't expect much. There are limits to my power." 

The soul 'looked' thoughtful. It was still in half-wondering if it was either delusional, comatose, in an illusion, or all three. Still, when life gives you lemons, take them and don't complain too much.

"I don't really care. Am I going back to my old world?" The soul asked.

"No. That'd be boring" The god chuckled. Although the soul really couldn't see anything, it could feel the god's smirk.

"Well, that's cool. Then, I want my gift to be your head." The soul said.

There was a heavy silence after that. "Hmm... Denied. Do find something that doesn't make me wonder if what I'm doing is a bad idea."

"Can I have your lover?"

"Brat, before I decide to reincarnate you as a bug, learn some respect." The god said, some helplessness in his voice.

"Well, aren't you boring. I don't really care for gifts or whatever else you have in mind, just give me the best body and mind you can give me" The soul said, no emotion in its voice still.

"... Fine. Enjoy your new life. Oh, and do beware of the monthly monster." The god giggled slightly after that. The soul immediately felt like something bad was happening.

"Pardon?" The soul asked, but instead of a response, it felt its consciousness shut down, and like that, it was reincarnated. 

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The birthing process was painful, long, and something that the ex-soul would happily never again go through.

There were some voices here and there, and after a bit, there was an ear-blowing scream that could only belong to a baby. As if on cue, the ex-soul remembered that, fun fact, babies love screaming.

And she was a baby.

Cue screaming.

The following months passed by in a blur of breastfeeding, napping, and diaper changing. And oh boy did the ex-soul hate every second of it.

Although, things were starting to make a bit more sense now that around 3-4 months had passed. Or at least the ex-soul thought that long had passed. No way to make sure, after all.

Craning his head from his crib, the ex-soul took one good look at himself, looking at the chubby baby arms that could barely move. His gaze slowly traveled downwards until it rested on his crotch.

'Oh. No penis.' He thought. 'Oooh. I get the joke now. I still don't like it.' He, now she, thought, and that was that.

Closing her eyes, she tried going back asleep. Keyword being tried, as the shitty true baby in the crib right next to hers decided that right now would be an amazing time to scream.

'God, my dear, if you're listening, please do consider fulfilling that first wish for me, because I really could use a head to throw at that shit-eater.' She thought as her 'parents' rushed into the room and immediately began caring for her fellow baby.

'Hey, at least my mom's hot' She thought, looking at her mother. Although her eyes were still underdeveloped, she could at least see somewhat now. A big step up from the confusing blur that everything had been when she was reborn.

With those thoughts floating around her head, she fell asleep to the lullaby her 'mother' was singing to the shitty thing that was this new life's brother. 

Could have been worse, she supposed.