My mind was racing a thousand miles an hour. Is this the rebirth thing they talked about in buddhism? I was guessing I would end up as a catarpillar, or maybe a squirrel in my second life, but this is even better!

I must have built up a lot of good karma. Like that time I gave to charity, because that lady came knocking at my door telling me to. Or the time I gave my shopping bag filled with goodies, to that crazy homeless guy that grabbed ahold of my leg, and started biting. And the time when... I... yeah, when I did that other stuff. I'm a great person.

With the questions of the universe unraveling before me, I returned back to reality. Wow, when did they get so close. The guy called Derrick, I think, was yelling. "This is the last time I'll ask, who the fuck are you?!"

I'm a sensible guy, and seeing as running didn't work, I did the second most sensible thing. I fell to my knees. "Oh my god, please don't kill me. Please, I have a sick mother at home that needs tending, along with my dying wife, and 5 children. Please don't hurt me in a any way. If I'm hurt, I can't keep running my tripple shifts to buy medcine and feed them. I won't tell anyone, I promise. I didn't see anything. Actually, I'm blind, yes, I'm blind, I can't see anything, where am I?"

I was trying to reason with them. Tears were flowing down my face like a river and my hands were folded in prayer. This was of course, all an act. Some might say it looked too real to be fake, but that is why I'll be reciving an oscar and not them. Using the special technique called method acting, I put myself into the shoes of a pathetic loser who is afraid of pain, and is surrounded by 5 men with sharp weaponry.

Sadly, these people do not enjoy the finer arts in life, as I promptly got a foot planted directly in my face. I heard a sickening crack from my nose and the blood immediately started pouring. The floor was littered with a decent amount of my teeth. On the bright side, I'll save some money on dentist bills from now on.

I held my face with my hand and looked up at the man who kicked me. It was the guy named Derrick. "Don't you ever shut the fuck up? You're lucky I don't just cut you fucking tongue out. I'll ask you one last time, who are you?"

What do I say? What can I say to make him less want to hurt me? Should I tell the truth? Would they even believe me? Of course not, they would think I'm crazy. Wait, I think I'm having a flashback, I hope it's something good.

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They were looking at me warily with their weapons pointed at the ready. One of the men whispered to another one. "Ya think he's some kind of wizard? He just popped out of nowhere."

Of course! Wizards. Wizards can do anything. But wizards are a bunch of old guys with grey beards, right? I'm a young strapping man, I'm not sure they would fall for it.

Why are all wizards old anyway? and why do they have beards? I guess the age thing could be related to experience, experiments and such, but would't just writing some books, and passing them down solve that problem? The beard thing I don't have an explanation for. Not all men are prone to growing long lush beards after all. Maybe having the ability to grow a nice beard is a prerequisite to becoming a wizard?

With yet another one of the world's mysteries disolving right before my eyes, I was left with the most important questions of all. Should I call myself Merlin or Gandalf? Going through the pros and cons of each at a speed of which a quantum computer would be jealous of, I ended up with Merlin.

It's all about the feel huh. If you say the name Gandalf, you immediately think of the classic bearded old man with a wizard hat and staff, but the name Merlin is more subtle. It's a name that could make people go. "Yeah, I can believe that man is a young beardless wizard."

Finally finishing up my dastartly calculations, I prepared to speak "I am-" I got slapped straigth across my face, blowing my head sideways.

I felt the tears welling up on my eyes. Stop, don't let them see you cry, baby boy. Don't show them those tears.

Fighting back the liquid pooling in my eyes, I turned back and spoke again. "I am Merlin, the grand wizard of-" Of what? What am I the grand wizard of? This was never part of the plan! Hurry, just make something up. "Wizardio."

Really? REALLY? Is that the best I can come up with? Fucking 'Wizardio', are you kidding me? Damn, it's too late now. Just roll with it. "You will release me this instant, or I will turn you all to cind-" Another slap landed on my face. At least he had the courtesy of not hitting my right side twice.

Derrick spoke "What the fuck is wrong with you? You sit there mumbling to yourself before spouting nonsense about being a wizard. Were you dropped on your head as child or something? I can't deal with this. Elric take care of this shit and find somewhere to dump him"

I got up as fast as I could and tried to run. I say try, because the second I got up and turned my back, a man who I assume to be Elric, slashed down with a sword and I promptly fell down. It was a deep wound. I tried getting back up, but the pain were like chains, keeping me stuck to the ground.

What does a person think about the second time they die? Nothing much really. I just hope I become a catapillar this time. The sword descended once again severing my head from my body.

"Huh? What the fuck?" As I came to, that was the first thing I heard. I found myself lying on the cold hard ground of what seemed to be a dimly lit cave.

I must really have a lot of good karma, huh. Or is it bad karma? I don't see anything good about this.