Nemyr, the tough Master Swordsman, carries his boy in his arm as if he is a baby out of the dungeon, refusing my offer to let the boy rest on the hay downstairs until he is good enough to move on his own.

I sigh. Glad that worked out. It is a nice site to see and my eyes follow them.

Outside, there are four of the young dwarfs standing there, and I nod my head and tell them to come downstairs with me. Wolves and Tarra follow us from behind.

I have a few ideas in my head.

“What do you want? To talk?” the old Dwarf meets me with a bark.

“No. What I want is… for you to learn your manners first. Just because I’m appearing like this, just because I’m smaller than you and you think you can muscle me down, just because you are old enough to be a grandpa to my grandpa, that does not give you a right to talk to me like that. So, just to make it crystal clear to you… you will learn to be respectful to those who are younger and smaller than you… or you will rot in this cell forever. Do you understand me?

And when you decide to show me some respect, then we’ll talk.”

He sighs. And scoffs. On me??

“I did not take you for a hurt little boy,” he tells me.

“Well, if I am a hurt little boy, it’s because you hurt me!” I say straight to his face.

He nods his head, then turns around, looks for something that is not there on the ceiling and turns back to look at me. “What do you want?”

“Right now… all I want is to slaughter you. Slowly, screamingly slowly. But… Maybe we can work things out.”

His eyes twitch, but then he steadies his grimace, looking straight at me, not able to figure out if I’m serious or not. I look straight back at him not daring to figure out if I’m serious or not.

In the end, he nods his head down. “Talk. Let’s see what you offer. I’ve been old enough to know that-”

“Shut up. I may be disrespectful. But I do not mean any harm. And I’m not a liar or a thief. Sneaking into someone else's home, looking to take what is theirs.”

His face gets all tensed up, red color shooting up, eyes popping out. But he says nothing and I’m just loving it.

“Look, you might not understand, but I see this mountain, and… you know what I see?”

Of course, he has to stare at me, not knowing shit.

“I see potential. Big, big potential. Look, Master Dwarf. This mountain comes out of nowhere. You see it. It’s all straight land, and then up it goes.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“It means… not trying to be a Ph.D. in Geology or anything, but… most likely it is because of a volcano eruption.”

“There are stories of old. That the mountain has exploded…”

“You see… that makes sense.”

We are talking. That’s good. “And what that means, is… when there is a volcano eruption, a lot of rich metals gets brought up to the top. Some might even say very precious metal,” I say that slowly, carefully gauging the shine in his eyes that shoots up.

“So… I know there is a richness in here.”

“And…?”

“It would be a shame to just… let it be for the next few centuries till you…” I was going to tell him a lot of things, but I dropped it. He was not going to see an industrial revolution, not a big corporation to come here and dig this entire mountain inside out, exploiting the ground for metals and diamonds till there was no stone unturned, so why would I bother him with such knowledge?

“What?” he asks me.

“I’m ready to give you a right to mine this mountain. Not my dungeon. You have to stay at least five hundred meters away from me. But you can mine it there.”

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“One hundred meters?” he says, scratching his beard.

“No. Five. Hundred. Meters,” I correct him, just so he does not say all the hair in his ears did not allow him to hear me right.

“Okay, okay, I hear you right.”

“I mean, five hundred meters is not that much at all. But, as you dig, you can’t come to one hundred meters of my tunnels either. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“I know you will find the riches you are looking for. But you have to promise…”

“To stay at least a hundred meters… away?”

“At all times. Unless…”

“Unless?” He holds his breath waiting for me to answer it.

“Unless I invite you.”

He nods readily his head, and I think I have him.

“It’s an offer that… you cannot…. Refuse. But… There is an alternative.”

“I don’t need an alternative. That is the start of a good offer. But tell me, what do you want in return? Fifty percent of our dig?? We’ll never give you that!”

“No,” I say, holding my tongue as I was ready to say ‘nothing else. But, why should I say ‘nothing else? It would make everything appear… sort of cheap.

So, I ask. “What do you offer? What is the percentage you would be happy with?”

He snorts, looks around, looks at all his men looking at him, hoping he would get them out of the freaking jail, and then he snorts again and spits out. “I could do nothing better than… ten percent of the profit. Whatever it may be.”

“Ten percent?” I ask, faking surprise. “What do I look like? A church?”

“Okay, okay…” he says, raising his hands. “No need to get upset, Master Dungeon. We can work this out…”

I frown at him, knowing we are now playing a game. And you don’t play the game against someone who finished so many RPG games he could write a whole library of books about it.

“Okay… twelve percent…”

“I thought you wanted to be a partner? I thought you wanted to get out of this cell, get your family…”

“Fifteen…”

A thought strikes my head. An image. Of the mountain being an open pit. I do not want that. Not till I know what that would fully imply. So I say. “I tell you what. Twenty is good. But, that means, only twenty miners can work. Sure, keep your families here. But… only twenty miners can work it. Do you agree? Let’s not play around. You know, you got a way better deal than if you robbed someone of a few precious stones? This is... historical.”

He takes the air through his nose, enough to fill three lungs, not just his. For a long moment, he lets that air simmer inside, and when he lets it out, it comes with his words, “Fine, Master Dungeon. Never ever have I heard of any dwarf who made a deal with a dungeon. But here, today, I’m making one with you!” he says, and extends his hand.

I’m ready to shake it, but his voice interrupts me. “Under one condition!”

“What?” I can only ask.

“You stop insulting us.”

It’s my time to fill the air inside my lungs, and let it simmer there. It's really a lot to ask. “Look, Master Dwarf, You are smart, you've been around, you know things. The words might hurt. But if I was ever disrespecting you, thinking low of you, I would… never ever stand in front of you, suggesting to protect you from all that might come this way and attack you. Yes… I like you, my smelly, little friends. I adore you. Sure, I want to make a bit of fun of you, but, my intentions are... as clear as the water you bathed in.”

He growls and looks at Tarra. "You see what we have to deal with here? How can I not have a problem with that?"

“Well, just don’t,” I say. "It's a joke. Sorry. My whole life was taken from me. Because... you know why? I tried to save someone. So, yeah. I make fun of you. But do you know why I do that?"

He looks at me, his mouth gaping wide open, and I do not wait for him to say anything as I tell him, “Because I believe your skin is tough enough to handle it. Yeah. I see you, and I see a smart and tough guy. Really. So, what is a little joke between friends?”

Yeah, now he looks at me differently, even squints his eyes staring at me to try to hide a smile that almost materializes on his face, trying to figure out if what I just said to him was an insult, a compliment, a threat, or a friendly gesture.

While he contemplates that, I extend my hand and ask, “Do we have a deal?”

He nods his head, sniffs hard through his nose, then smiles, shakes my hand, and says, “We have a deal.”

And that is how I earn myself a full gang of smelly neighbors. Right away, I’m thinking if it’s too late to put it into a contract they would be required to take a shower at least on the first of every month.

But Tarra steps in really fast and says, “It’s a bounding contract then. I will be its witness,” and I know I dropped my pants way too fast, and now, can only hope the wind blows the other way.

Yeah, I let them out, and they are all eager to leave. They all look at me and shake my little hand. I feel bad I took all their stuff, but, hey, what else was I to do? Make them sniff each other’s dirty socks and armpits? That’s just sick.

Yeah, they are a resilient little gang. They’ll find needed supplies and gear again. And then they’ll be back. Hopefully not too soon.

As I watch them go, I hear Tarra speak to me. “That was some negotiation.”

“I know. I was ready to just let them dig and just leave me alone.”

“Yeah, and most other places, would not let them dig for nothing under a quarter or even fifty percent of the profit.”

“Well, that is all right. I’m not like some other places, you know.”

“No, you’re not.”

We look at them march down, all happy, smiling, tapping each other on the shoulders.

“Well, I’ve got to run,” she tells me.

I sigh. “So soon?” I ask.

“Warden’s job is never finished.”

“Didn’t you say you were a Ranger?”

“Yeah, that too,” she answers while her stare is lost somewhere in the distance.

“Wish I can tell you, I would not miss you. But… I just can’t.”

She smiles back at me. “I’ll see you later.”

“Hope it’s sooner than later.”

She does not go down the trail. She hits the slope up to the right, leading to the peaks above me.

“Hey,” she turns to ask me before she goes too far. “Got yourself a name yet?”

“Working on it,” I answer as I sigh again watching her leave, smiling and waving me goodbye.

It’s a sight to see.

No. No. My wife has nothing to worry about.

Yes. It’s true.

As if I could ever have any chance with the Ranger called Tarra.