FH 40

Weeks later, the two devils lay asleep in their crib. The impossibly powerful women dazed, half asleep, leaning against one another on a couch from which they could watch their children.

-Why did we do this to ourselves?- Kallos asked while she yawned. Telos almost cried, but laughed instead.

~Which part? The children? Carrying them ourselves? Not just magicking them to be potty trained?~ Telos, the indomitable woman who could slay gods with a glance, had made an entire dimension, and had an unlimited supply of divine energy looked frazzled. Not tired, her divine physiology had transcended the need for sleep, but her mental state had been taxed so heavily it turned into physical exhaustion. So much for thinking I’m omnipotent.

Both women looked slightly disheveled and worn out, but there was no indication that they had just had children, or ever had them. Regeneration, variable metabolisms, shapeshifting, and magic in general meant the physical trauma of growing and having a child had already completely healed. The mental trauma of caring for said newborns, though, had proven to be enough to drive even Telos and Kallos to the brink of exhaustion.

-Yes?- Kallos grunted mentally, before pulling a sweet pastry from her storage.

~Is it cheating if we use magic?- Telos asked a question that came up every few hours.

-We’ve almost made it a month. Two more days and we can shove it in Arkaziel’s face that we took care of the kids without resorting to magic for the first month.-

~Why did we fall for Arkaziel goading us into this again?~

-He promised to never ask about how we procreated again if we could last the whole first month without resorting to magic for child care,- Kallos groaned.

~In hindsight, I think explaining shapeshifting and sex to him would’ve been the easier path, embarrassment fades quickly. Besides, sooner or later our children are going to ask how we impregnated one another.~

-Why would they have to ask that? Isn’t it self-explanatory? They are going to be powerful in their own right, by the time they want to know about that they’ll be doing much more interesting things than self-transmutation or polymorphism.-

~Maybe. Look at the lights above their crib,~ Telos lifted a hand to point at the glowing cloud that had formed over the children. A miniature aurora borealis had formed, with colors cycling in and out of existence, but the light stayed muted, not so bright it would wake up the sleeping infants.

-Spirit Lights... They’re already attracting spirits at less than a month old. If nothing else, it seems they’re already beloved by magic and the natural world.- Kallos pursed her lip, uncertain if this would be a good or bad thing.

FH 42

“So then I ripped the red bird in half, and gave the smaller portion to the village. They seemed confused, so I stuck around to give them a lesson on properly cooking poultry, and food safety tips.” Arkaziel explained his latest exploits to Telos, while he sat on a shelf in the form of a small black cat.

“I suppose I didn’t fast forward time enough for civilizations to develop sanitation and plumbing on their own, I just thought since most souls incarnating here were ancient and powerful, they’d be able to uplift civilization quickly, I didn’t really think about the fact they don’t have memories of their past lives, and that’s the whole point of it. Is it even safe for humans to eat cockatrice?” Telos asked, before flipping the blade on her forge.

“None of them died while I was there, so yes? As far as reincarnations go, I don’t know. But they did have a transmigrator and were working on plumbing. Guy thought he was in some super old backwards world, he sure looked shocked when I told him the universe was only forty-two cycles old.” Arkaziel guffawed and conjured an illusion of a very confused looking man. While amusing, Telos didn’t find it nearly as amusing as Arkaziel did, so she simply nodded. “He kept asking about cheat powers, too. I almost ate him.”

“Good, I’ll have Libby give out some more Quests and uplift Mythara and a few other galaxies at a higher rate,” Telos said to herself more than Arkaziel, before she hammered metal. An enchantment prevented the usual sound that accompanied smithing, since Telos could perceive and work the blade down to the subatomic level, she didn’t need the noise pollution hammering caused. “I’m glad you restrained yourself from eating him, Ark. You’ve learned to show a lot of restraint.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m the best, for sure.” Arkaziel laughed it off. “So are the kiddos using magic yet? Smithing with you in the afternoons?”

“They’re one and a half years old, Ark! They can walk, and talk… and use a little magic.” Telos muttered the last part under her breath, but the sharp eared cat heard her anyway.

“You humans mature so slow. I could shoot laser beams ten minutes after I hatched, knew everything my ancestors did, and was the most handsome badass ever.” Arkaziel’s nostalgia for how amazing he was at birth washed over the room in a palpable blanket of smugness, until Telos burned the emotional projection away with a flash of cold light.

“You festered in an egg for three hundred years before hatching. Three. Hundred. Years. The kids aren’t even two!” Telos defended Alexander and Lilith from Arkaziel’s judgement.

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“Festered? How dare you!” Arkaziel hissed he was so insulted. “What do you even do with all the weapons and armor you forge? That gold hilted sword over there looks awfully heroic.”

“I give most of them to Libby to use as high tier quest rewards, stash a few for the kids or people we know. I’ve thought about throwing one or two down the dimensional axis and seeing where they land, but that could cause a lot of trouble.”

“You should do it. It could upend civilizations, cause wars, or make the greatest hero ever. Oh, did I say hero? I meant Warlord.” Arkaziel cackled, even with all three of Telos’ eyes locked on him, and her lips growing into a perfectly thin line.

“That’s why Bobbi gets to babysit alone and you don’t, you know.”

“You keep telling yourself that babysitting is some magnificent reward to be sought after, the rest of us not-parents will be out having adventure.” Arkaziel purred in response to Telos giving him the stink eye, which put her back up and earned him some very dark looks.

“You’re such a dick,” Telos whined.

“Have they invented schools in the plains yet? Or are you and Kallos going to have to teach them everything yourselves?”

“So, about that….” Telos refused to look at the cat, and knew she’d already blown it when Arkaziel’s tail got fluffy. “… how would you feel about being Headmaster to a school for a bit?”

“Why would I ever want to be part of an educational institution? That sounds awful.” Arkaziel didn’t even hesitate. “Hell no.”

“Oh, come on Ark! How about Libby makes it a Quest? We’ll make a mountain salmon reward, super extra tasty.”

“I’m listening,” Arkaziel conceded as he tried to ignore the illusions of fish dancing above his head that Telos conjured.

“So, we’ll pay you, and build you an Academy. You’ve got three or four years to work out the kinks before the kiddos are ready to start their own education.”

“Oh-ho-ho. Look at momma bear using other peoples kids as the beta testers. Wait, how many kids even are there? Where do they come from?” Arkaziel sounded confused.

“Well, as a new top tier reality, mixed with changes to the afterlife and Great Cycle of our old universe, there’s a lot of souls ascending here. In addition to that we have people reproducing the fun way, too. It’s starting to remind me of rural farm families I grew up around, with twelve kids to work in the fields. So, Libby is sort of ..integrating.. people as discreetly as she can. A little memory fog and people don’t think about it too much.”

“Why are you asking me, blue?” Arkaziel finally cut to the chase. “Did Bobbi say no?”

“No, I didn’t ask Bobbi. I’ll ask her to work with you, if you accept, but I wanted you to take a leadership role in the community down there. Maybe demystify the Apocalypse Dragon that they see flying to the First Home, and in turn, help keep attention off the kids when they go into town. Some of the reincarnations and transmigrators might be fairly powerful, so the headmaster needs to be intimidating, and someone people can’t afford to ignore.”

“You’re afraid of some reincarnations?” Arkaziel looked shocked.

“No, I want them cowed into submission before we add Alexander and Lilith into the mix. There’s always the chance one of those people down there in the city is Pete, Callie, Izanagi, Izanami, Chronos, or Ananke, or any of the other big names from our old world.”

“Can’t you just look at them and see who they were?” Arkaziel asked the obvious question.

“Kallos said for the Great Cycle to keep its mystery I shouldn’t meddle while we live here. She didn’t want to know if one of the kids, or the kids friends, happened to be the reincarnation of someone we knew in the old world.” Telos shrugged.

“Yeah, sure, but with your brain wired to both Libby and the Divine, can you even ignore it?” Arkaziel wondered aloud, but the hammer shattering in her hand gave Telos’ answer for her.

“Damnit,” Telos cursed, but the hammer restored itself as she looped time to undo the destruction. “I know who’s souls they are,” Telos grumbled, and pointed at her third eye. “Willful ignorance only lasted six months.”

“Tell, tell!” Arkaziel demanded.

“Take the job, and I’ll tell you. But if you tell Kallos or Bobbi, or the kids, I’ll form-lock you into a real kitten and turn you into shark bait, got it?”

“Form-lock me? Hahah, funny, you can’t lock my… you can? What the hell? That’s not the kind of thing you do to a friend, damnit!” Arkaziel complained, as he couldn’t shift or altar his shape no matter how hard he tried.

“I’m serious, Ark. I’ll tell you, but you can’t tell Kallos, got it?” Telos gave Arkaziel her most serious look, and then removed the form-lock just as he tried to shapeshift again. Her laughter mocked the StarMane as he rolled around on the floor after bumping his head into a shelf.

“Not cool, blue. Alright, tell me!”

“After you’ve got the school up and running.” Telos dangled the information, figuratively, in front of him.

“Fine, fine. I’ll run your school and be a Dumbledolf or whatever your wizard books had for a master.” After regaining his dignity, Arkaziel turned into his humanoid form and tried his hand at lifting some of the weapons on racks.

“Want a Staff, oh glorious Headmaster?” Telos asked, and pointed to a stand full of wooden staves with elaborate crystals atop them.

“It’d be a shame to not live up to peoples expectations,” Arkaziel agreed as he picked up staff after staff, sensing its affinity and power. The same way they’d always done things in the old world.

“Still too stubborn to just call up Libby and have it displayed?”

“You are going to complain to me about doing things the old fashioned way, Mrs. Blacksmith?” Arkaziel hissed, but kept checking over equipment manually.

“By the way, how’re you going to explain your kids having rainbow hair?” Arkaziel timed his question to match when Telos delivered a hammer blow.

“Can’t we just say they take after their mother?” Telos asked, whipping the back of her ponytail around.

“You keep suppressing your rainbow, and keep aqua dominant, blue. Kallos is blonde. Also, uh, I thought you were the father, wait no, you gave birth to, err…” Arkaziel lifted a hand to scratch the back of his head, a mannerism he’d learned from Bobbi and Kallos.

“Did Kallos put you up to getting me to keep my hair rainbow, like the kids?” Telos regarded Arkaziel dangerously, with narrowed eyed stare.

“No, not at all, she definitely didn’t offer me a whole slew of bribes to get you to try it out for a few weeks, and she didn’t use the word adorable and cute five thousand times in a couple of minutes. The kiddos might get a trick out of matching with mommy, though… or daddy.. how does this all work again?”

“Go ask Kallos to explain it to you,” Telos muttered and used mock anger to bury her exasperation. “Jeez, Ark, you’re a shapeshifter. Have you never changed gender?”

“Why would I?” Arkaziel sounded confused.

“Why wouldn’t you?” Telos countered.

“Genetic memories, Blue. I already know what it’s like to be my mother, and all of my female ancestors. I know how you and Kallos conceived, you disgusting humanoids, but I can’t pass up a chance at making you two be so awkward.” Arkaziel cackled, and all of the times people told her StarMane’s were awful echoed in her mind.

“Wait, wait! If you go with full rainbow, we could use jokes like your momma so looks rainbowy leprechauns follow her everywhere looking for a pot of gold.”

“Remember when I said you’re such a dick? That’s understating it. You’re a colossal douche.”

“I love you too, Blue. Put the hammer down!”