That insufferable beeping.
It was annoying, it was loud, it was heating. Brisingr’s hands clenched as she was forced to listen to its maddening rhythm. Listen she will, though, no matter the cost. How could she not, when it was her fault this happened?
Eons would try and tell her it wasn’t. Brisingr smiled sadly. Many saw her as a sadistic girl who took pleasure in other people’s sufferings but she knew the truth. Eons was simply a girl who was trying to make the best of a horrible time.
Eons was greater than Brisingr would ever be, regardless of what people said. After all, they’d both faced the same problems. In fact, all three of them had.
The only difference was that Brisingr had been the only person to take the easy way out. No, not even that. She didn’t take the easy way out, she ran.
To many, it would be ludicrous. Some would retaliate, proclaiming the great Brisingr would never run. She would stand firm, prideful, and always do what’s right! She’s a hero second only to Full Force!
Brisingr always wanted to laugh in their faces. She didn’t, that would be rude. They were expressing their thoughts and really, how could they know? They weren’t like her. Like Eons. Like Thor.
They couldn’t comprehend the things they’d gone through. And so whenever somebody stated their love for her, or held out an autograph with teary eyes to sign, or defended her, Brisingr took it all with a smile on her face.
‘You either die a hero or live long enough to be a villain.’
Those were the words she had said so flippantly and carelessly so long ago to several souls. When she’d said it once more to a pubescent Eons and Thor, they’d been shocked and aghast.
Brisingr could tell they wanted to protest, wanted to find fault in her statement. How could heroes turn into villains? That wasn’t right! Did that mean all heroes would turn into villains no matter what?
Brisingr had trained with Eons and Thor, under orders from Commander. She hadn’t wanted to, wanted to fight on her own, but Commander was too smart. She’d been outwitted and the next thing she knew, she was on a team with two rookies.
Everybody expected greatness from them, as they expected greatness from everybody, and Eons and Thor were all too happy to try and prove themselves.
Brisingr had been more collected, calmer. She’d been their light, their beacon to come back to when they needed help. She didn’t want to, desired to scream at the thought of hurting them as well. They needed one though, so she became one. Misled herself to cater to their needs. After all, wasn’t that was a ruler was supposed to do?
Lead the team to victory?
Yet during their last battle together, Brisingr had left. Fled Neverstien. She’d comforted herself, tempered her guilt with the fact it wasn’t her fault, she had to go. Brisingr knew that wasn’t the truth, it wasn’t needed for her to leave. Many others could be far away, why couldn’t she?
Brisingr wanted an out and like a coward, she took one the instant it appeared. She could hear the shocks and betrayed cries from her teammates but hadn’t looked back once as she flew away.
That turned out to be a big mistake. Because whenever she slept, different faces swam in her head. Anger. Hatred. Terror. Some were scarred. Some were deformed. Others were warped and twisted into something unrecognizable.
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And when she came back after so long, the first thing she noticed was that Thor was hurt.
Again, she failed. What was the use of coming if she was too late? Always too late, never able to arrive in time. She missed this, she missed that.
It begged the question: what else would she miss?
Brisingr kept up her facade, attempting to fall back into smiling patterns with her old teammates. It was easy; easier than she’d ever expected and it terrified her.
It was like it was calling her, saying she would always be trapped in the leadership position, never able to go away. After so many years of doing it, faking what shouldn’t be faked, it had become her. Not a jacket to slip on, but her own skin.
Brisingr reviewed the prone figure of Thor; she was still. Too still. If she’d been sleeping, Thor would be snoring, rolling around, and whacking Eon or her in the face. She was under sedatives now, so that wouldn’t be a problem.
Her arms were covered in gauze. To help heal the burns and the way her bones had shattered-Brisingr shuddered. The sound. It wasn’t simply a bone breaking, it was the bone being completely ripped to shards.
Brisingr watched her chest heave up and down; each a struggle for domination. She dreaded the time would come when the chest would stop.
The sound of metal scraping the ground alerted her to the fact Eons was moving. Brisingr tried not to react but she knew Eons didn’t miss the way she tensed up ever so slightly.
“.....this is awkward, isn’t it?” Eons asked.
“A bit more than awkward,” Brisingr responded smoothly. She didn’t want this. Didn’t like how natural it felt.
“Did you miss this?” Eons inquired.
“......I think I did.”
“Heh. That’s surprising. I thought you would still be lying to yourself, making yourself miserable. Though, I guess you’re still doing the second part.” Eons commented.
“You know me so well.” Brisingr chuckled darkly. She did know her well, didn’t she?
“What can I say? I thought we were friends.” Eons said.
Brisingr couldn’t bring herself to respond and Eons snapped her fingers. “This is where you say, ‘We are friends.’ Do you not want to lie?”
“We were......” Brisingr couldn’t bring herself to finish.
“I’m not saying I understand what you’re going through. Heck, I don’t think anybody understands what’s going through your head. Maybe Commander, but she’s, you know, Commander. Point I’m trying to make here is, I don’t know what you’re thinking. I can’t tell you. So I’m not going to tiptoe my way around, trying to find out a way to talk. I’m going to blurt it out at once, got it?”
“That sounds like something Thor would do.” Brisingr pointed out.
“Eh, maybe she’s rubbed off on me. Okay, we’re doing this. 3,2,1. We forgive you.”
Brisingr didn’t allow herself to move this time, didn’t react. It might discourage Eons. Oh, who was she kidding?
“Maybe you don’t want our forgiveness, or maybe we need to ask for your forgiveness, but that’s for later. You ran away, not cool, and I wanted to punch you for that. Make you scream. Make sure you can never fall back to sleep ever again. Then it hit me, right as I was scheming. ‘The doofus is probably already doing that to herself!’ That made me step back and think. What’s the use of punishing Brisingr if Brisingr is punishing herself? Doing the same thing twice doesn’t work. So I decided to forgive you, see what would happen.”
Brisingr couldn’t help but let a snigger sneak past. It was just, so Eons. “You’re forgiving me because you want to punish me?” she checked.
“It sounds outlandish, but I’ll say it worked. You’re crying after all, and I don’t think any prank would make you cry.”
Brisingr started. She was crying? She cradled her face and felt the wetness streaking down her face. It was true. Brisingr barked. “You sly girl.”
Eons smirked. “I learned from the best. Speaking of.....” she nodded behind Brisingr.
Brisingr sighed. This was going to happen sooner or later. Brisingr hesitantly reached her arms out. “H-Hug?”
The expression on Eons’ face made Brisingr giggle, right before the cannonball hit her and a pair of arms wrapped around her neck. “I missed you,” she whispered, holding onto her tightly.
Brisingr let her be. If she was being truthful to herself, it wasn’t so.....bad.
“Brisingr?” the guard stationed at the hospital door asked. “Commander’s asking for you.”
Brisingr didn’t let go of Eons, and Eons didn’t let go of her. For a brief flash, Brisingr wanted to ignore the guard, tell Commander to stuff everything up her face, and leave her alone.
Reluctantly, Brisingr lowered her arms and Eons followed soon after. She pointedly ignored Eons’ tears. She wouldn’t like her pointing them out.
“See you later?” Eons asked. And the fragile hope in her voice almost broke Brisingr. A plea to not leave her and Thor again. Brisingr couldn’t guarantee it, but maybe this time, she could try.
“Yes,” Brisingr said before walking out of the hospital, followed closely by the guard. She’d managed to survive her old teammates. Now all that was left was her.