Chapter Four - Can’t Trust Old Men
Edited by
Get Back OLS
I felt like rich kid on christmas morning but I forced myself to calm down. Its 3:15pm right now. I double check the time by using a website just to be sure its not working on the old time adjusted by Brush Stroke. It will roughly take 45 minutes to drive into the city. With the Scepter I can teleport out of any situation. However, it has an obvious weakness. It teleports everything 4 feet away from the sphere on top of the scepter. So if I engage in close combat and the person fighting me is standing right next to me, then they will be teleported too.
However, the way I read this is if any part of their body is not within the sphere it will not be teleported along with the body. So this can be an incredible weapon as will. So I got one badass power. The problem is I can’t steal anything large since it won’t be completely teleported. I would also need to be right next to whatever I’m stealing. This is also a get away device. I still need to approach whatever I’m stealing, preferably undetected. If I could have a stealth field…
I opened the Void Library App’s market section and start looking for stealth technologies. Every type of stealth is available from sonar to thermal. However, what I need is optical. Applying the filter I then sort by price level and… That is absurd. The cheapest price is 400 guild points for 10 square feet of see through fabric. It does not even turn a person invisible but it is still 400 guild points! That's 4 million dollars!
I try to back out of the void library app but I get barraged by advertisements. I could always buy the advertisement free model but it’s ridiculously expensive, that’s criminals for you. While closing the ad I read a bit of it. One of them was advertising a potion to give super powers with only a 90% mortality rate! Another was from a Dr. Seismic advertising his superhuman surgery only 999 credits! The last was advertisement for a mission to steal the royal crown display in the Fremont Museum. Sounds nice but only idiots go for it, those things are locked down tighter than the Queen’s vagina. Even the wording they use is meant for the stupid. “Want to make an instant 100 million dollars? Be known throughout the world as the number one thief? Impress everyone, even the haters, with your skills and daring? Then this is the mission for you!”
Yea right, those jewels have hundreds of armed security guards just waiting to pounce on whoever is dumb enough to try and leave with them… 10,000 guild points is a lot of money though. I’ll just check the mission specifics for now. Opening the mission I am redirected to the to the Void Libraries’ Mission section. There I find a host of information about the Freemont Museum including a complete blueprint and biographical information on the personnel. However, The display ends tonight since it is on loan from England. The Fremont has operating hours between 8am and 7pm. Since its downtown, including traffic, that would be roughly one and a half hours.
I can do this. 100,000,000 million dollars just for a crown. I need to be careful though. My face might not be well known yet but if I do this I won't be able to step in public again without plastic surgery. However, my new lair should have a standard bad guy laboratory at the very least. If I remember correctly it also has a household computer interface AI called “Peter?” I asked loudly when a mechanical voice that would best belong to a very hairy man with a thick russian accent said “Yes, comrade?” As he said this, the old USSR anthem played in the background. I think the politics and nationality of the previous tenant are abundantly clear.
I think I should personalize it a bit. “Are there any voice options?” “You can change the background music, sound effects, volume, tone, and gender of the voice. However, if you wish to make more specific changes you can upload your own program or buy the world voice package from the Void Library, celebrity voices included.” Peter answered. “What was that? An advertisement? How do I get rid of that?” I asked incredibly annoyed. A million dollar house is selling me advertisements after I bought it, I am surrounded by assholes.
“This voice model including the alternate female version came included with the house, comrade. However, the guild owned this home while it was for sale. Thusly, they altered my mannerisms to include the occasional advertisement when appropriate.” “Delete all mannerism changes made. Also, switch voice model to female and get rid of the background music.” “Will do comrade.” said a sexy mechanical voice with a thick russian accent. It's not bad. Although I do prefer the standard english accent or at least what I thought was standard. “I rename you… Anastesia.” “Thank you, it's a lovely name.” I hope that’s a female only mannerism. Just imagining the burly voice saying it gives me the creeps.
“Could you direct me towards the secret lab?” “Certainly, please step into the fireplace.” The fireplace was currently lit with a very large fire. “Uh… what do you mean?” I asked perplexed. “The fireplace is a hologram. Since you feel uncomfortable I will turn it off, comrade.” The fire instantly disappeared revealing a stairway leading to the basement. Technically speaking, a villain’s lair is under the protection of the guild but it's always best to be cautious. Entering the very large basement I couldn’t help but be reminded of a hospital with white lights and the combined smell of bleach with a hint of death. Continuing onward I asked Anastesia “Is there a 3d printer anywhere?”
Anastesia then answered “There is a high speed industrial 3d printer inside room 32.” I looked around but there are only 10 doors. “Where’s room 32?” “It’s on the third floor of the laboratory. Please use the elevator at the end of the hallway on right.” I continued down the hallway looking towards my right and lo and behold there is in fact an industrial elevator. I then entered it pressing the third floor button. As the rather fast elevator speeded downwards I could hear the elevator ‘music’ come on. Surprisingly, it's heavy metal. The fellow that owned this previously was a bit weird, I’ll change it later.
Exiting on the 3rd floor I could see two doors, 31 and 32 respectively. Entering 32 it was as if I walked into a giant empty warehouse. I really need to explore the other rooms in this lair later. Towards the back of the warehouse there was a whole bunch of technological widgets and machines that I couldn’t recognize. However, there was one I did. It was size of a semi truck and had a sophisticated technological feel to it. I would think it was some sort of alien machine if not for the conveyor belt attached.
I opened the computer and found the blueprints section, which was unsurprisingly empty. “How much to purchase the basic package from Void?” Master Brushstroke may not have been a good villain but at least he had one of these along with the basic package. “It will cost 100 guild points.” “What!?” I nearly coughed up my lung with how loud I shout that. “The package includes more than 10,000 blueprints for various devices. If comrade finds it inconvenient then we can purchase individual blueprints from the basic package for 1 guild point each.” No doubt I will never use 9900 of those blueprints. However, it’s still best if I use the basic package since it not only includes blueprints but design algorithms, which is what I really need.
Sigh, “purchase it.” I said in a weary tone. “Caution comrade. Purchasing this package will place you 100 guild points further into debt. Are you certain?” The AI warned me in an all too charming voice. “Yes, I’m certain.” “The transaction has been completed.” I could literally feel the pain in my wallet. I then refreshed the blueprints page and found exactly 10,001 blueprints. Everything from dolls to miniature helicopters. I have something more specific in mind though. I searched and found a plastic gun modeled after the desert eagle. I imputed the command to make one and it warned me it would take roughly 35 minutes as I also ordered it to create the molds for faster printing next time.
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
I then talked to Anastesia “Do you have access to the facial mask model algorithm?” “Yes, would you like me to create a mask for you?” Anastesia inquired. “Make one based on my facial features with slight changes to the bone structure. Additionally, age the mask’s facial features by 50 years.” “Right away, the order has been queued successfully. the mask is displayed on the computer screen.” I then looked at the computer display and the face staring back at me was familiar, wrinkled, and honestly somewhat ugly. I really do hope I age better than that. “When will it be ready?” I asked the AI. “Both orders will be complete in one hour and 23 minutes.” She or rather it responded. “Thanks, Anastasia. Order and pay a cab to arrive five minutes after that.” “Certainly, any particular destination in mind?” Anastasia answered. “The Fremont Museum.”
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While exiting the cab I do everything in my power not to scratch my face. I pretend to be old, which is in a way pretending to be a hunchback as I walk with my back bent down somewhat. As the cab driver pulls away he says “Thanks for generous tip!” I wonder how much did Anastasia tipped him. Anyways the glue keeping the mask on my face is really itchy or it could just be the fact my real face is sweating profusely in this heat. Likely, it's a combination of both. I began to climb the stairway up to the Fremont Museum, which is of classical greco-roman design. Its really large though, the columns on the front are tall enough to span a small river.
While going up the stairs, using the cane like one would a crutch, I saw a troop of school children in front of me. Thankfully, it’s 5:53pm so they are on their way out. However, one of them looks at me as I climb up the stairs. “Hey mister, do you need some help?” A cheery seven or eight year old boy asked. No doubt he has parents who placed him in the boy scouts or the like.
I immediately did my best to collect phlegm in the back of my throat. In a tone best described as a fusion of truck driver and a chronic smoker I said, “Why, thank you but I think I’ll have to decline. Here have some candy.” I then reach into my pocket, get one of the hard candies I had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and hand it to him. Receiving the candy he says, “Thanks mister!” He then looks at my hands giving them a weird look before scampering off to his little group. Crap, I completely forgot about the hands. It’s too late now.
It’s very easy to approach a museum exhibit when it's in time for it to be displayed. However, there’s a lot of crowds and guards ready to making the escape nearly impossible. At night, however, there is less security presence in the form of guards but it’s much harder to approach undetected because of all the hidden countermeasures, such as thermal cameras. Frankly, it's near impossible to enter into a highly secured area since they use a wide variety of these sorts of countermeasures. Making it so that even if there are a few guards they are still used effectively to suppress any wannabe thief.
Thankfully, I have the ultimate cheat. Entering into the museum I am surrounded by a huge crowd despite there only being a single hour left before closing time. I then get in line before the metal detector and after a minute or two am asked by the security guard to take everything metal off and place it into the conveyor belt. I then say, “Alright, but my cane has a lot of metal inside to produce the hologram in the sphere. I hope you don’t mind.” “It’s alright, sir. Just place it on the conveyor belt. Do you need assistance?”
“No thank you, I still got a bit of strength in these old bones.” I then made a show of my ‘endurance’ as I place the scepter on the conveyor belt while feigning weakness. As I pass through the metal detector I leave my hands in my pocket while watching the facial features of the person on the conveyor belt. His eyes furrowed for a minute but he still let it through. Thankfully, people tend to trust their elders. Grabbing it with fake patience I then set out to the display.
The Fremont Museum has a number of displays ranging from neanderthal skulls to medieval weaponry. Essentially, they have a displays on quite a few ancient cultures and time periods. Of course, they have permanent displays on the more known cultures, such as Romans and Chinese, but they also rotate special exhibits for less known cultures, such as Celtic and Incan. Overall, it is an anthropologist's wet dream.
As i pass a wax native Hawaiian canoeing across the ocean I see the start of the line for the English exhibit. This… Will I get there before the museum closes? As time flowed by quickly, the glue and sweat mixture hidden by the mask has brought me to a new level of uncomfortable. I check the time on my phone and… only 30 minutes left till the exhibit closes. I feel rushed and frustrated. As far as I know, I’m the only villain that has ever been foiled by a line. However, I can rush this.
The crux of this operation is maintaining invisibility by blending in. If I make a disturbance now the guards will have more than enough time to react. So, I got to make the line. Just at the 7 minute mark, I saw a huge group of school children exiting the display. Why are school kids out this late! I never hated school field trips more than I do now. With them gone the line quickly shortened and I could finally see a glimpse of the display.
Unfortunately, all around the display was a mob trying to take pictures including a few attempting to take perspective pictures to make the person look as if they were wearing the crown. I did not hesitate and begin to push my way through the crowd. People were of course bothered by it but aside from a few looks of disdain and grunts no one reacted much. As I approached a square cement column with a glass display in the middle. I could see the crown jewels inside the glass. I then approached the red rope barrier keeping people from being too close, about two feet from the display.
Then a security guard said “Five minutes to closing. Please begin to leave the display now.” Inwardly I was grimacing even though no facial expression were shown on my face. However, I stuck to my plan. I began to force myself to cough loudly. As i coughed the people near me backed away. Amidst the “are you alrights?” and the well wishes I jumped the rope. I took out my gun and shot in the air saying, “EVERYONE RUN! HE HAS A GUN!”
People began scream and rush out the room when the security pressed the panic button. A dead drop formed underneath the jewels. Before they could fall I pressed the button on the scepter. Time instantly stood still. I couldn’t even blink much less move my fingers. Everything was pitch black. I could even feel my thoughts beginning to slo-
“Ow” Instantly I was barraged by intensely bright light as I fell foward to cement that was strangely tipping at a roughly 45 degree angle. After, I recollected myself I realize I was in my lair with a piece of the Fremont Museum.