Zero quickly explained the situation over tea. The old lady they had just met was a friend of 'Grandma', who was on her way out. It was this old lady, Zero mentioned, who prepared the tea blends they were enjoying.
When Steven took his first sip of tea, all he could think was:
Exquisite. The tea was exquisite, an aromatic blend that was the right amount of bittersweet, and the accompanying cookies? Absolutely divine—
Off-topic.
"Sorry, Steven said, accidentally knocking a cup over. He wondered how 'Grandma' in front of him managed to balance the tea gracefully on her hooves. With surprising skill, she tossed the cup up, caught a sip, before catching the dainty tea cup on its way down.
All without spilling a drop.
"I'm Zero's grandma," Zero's grandma introduced. She had this melodic quality to her voice that almost didn't match her face. "All of you are Zero's friends, so just call me Granny Laohu."
Her words came out in a sweet, tonal accent.
"Hmm, why are you here today, eh? Didn't school start already?" Granny Laohu took a quick glance at Zero for an answer.
Long story short, Zero told his grandma the issue: His friend, Steven, was very weak.
Steven blinked.
Now, that wasn't true. He was not… 'very weak'. Hadn't he only gotten his butt kicked… like five times (recently)? But honestly, that was an accomplishment considering his previous track record.
['Delusion +1']
"...Do you know anyone who can teach him the way of the flute?" Zero asked. ('The way' was a cultivator's fancy 'way' of making it so that everything they did sounded important.)
"Of course," The granny said. "I know just the right…"
She clicked her tongue.
So, while Zero partook in tea time and activities with his grandma. (Something about picking dandelions.) Mayo went around, muttering about something serious.
When he asked about it:
"I'm going around to put rocks in places. Bang!" Mayo made a finger gun, and shot it to Steven's head.
That left him alone with his new tutor, which happened to be a humongous tiger.
Could tigers even play flutes?
The tiger looked at him, picked up a leaf, played a quick melody: 'toot-toot-toot' and then smacked him.
['-10 HP']
"Huh."
1. The first thing that the tiger instructed him to do was to take out his flute. It analyzed the instrument carefully with its paws in an almost human way. (Like a couch-potato. Like a grumpy old man that had its face permanently pulled in a "..." scowl and a side-ways glare.)
2. Then it started whacking his FLUTE! on a rock.
"What are you doing!" Steven said in a calm voice. (His voice was calm, because tigers probably ate kids that looked not-calm.)
The tiger motioned him to follow. And Steven had no choice but to follow along, whacking the rock. He took his flute and mimicked the motion.
"Whack! Smack! Whack!"
['Strength +1'... 'Strength +1'... 'Strength +1'...]
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Time passed like that quite quickly.
When the sun finally started to set, Steven took a good look at his masterpiece.
Actually, hadn't he improved a lot?!
He had cracked this huge boulder in half!
The boy looked at the tiger, expecting praise, but the tiger seemed to let out a scoff, and lightly tapped the two split sides with its claws.
The rock disintegrated into fine dust… blown away like the powder.
"Huh."
And just like that, his training was over.
Steven headed back to the cottage. • • •
LOADING… Dinner…
Tip: Tap A to grab food from nearby plates. Use sparingly to not get caught!
Tip: Swirl analog stick in a clockwise motion to twirl noodles perfectly on a fork.
Tip: Double-tap Y to butter Zero's hair!
• • •
"Is it Sunday now? Or Saturday?" Steven asked, buttering Zero's hair.
Before them lay dishes that looked fit for Buddha's vegetarian buffet. Hundred-year greens, vibrantly hued romantic peas, and tantalizing grass graced the plates.
"Neither," Zero replied.
"In this place, there are 49 days in a week!" Grandma Laohu explained, her whiskers shaking delicately.
"So, we're staying here for two weeks." Steven concluded, twirling a forkful of the noodles. He took a solemn bite. Each noodle strand had this earthy taste that just tasted home-grown! Why were they so good?
"I crafted them from mountain dough." Grandma Laohu shared.
"What's mountain dough?" Steven asked.
"It's dough from a mountain." Mayo explained reasonably. Beside her, Zero nodded.
Noticing the confused look on Steven's face, Granny Laohu quickly explained what mountain dough was. First, she chipped a piece of rock off a mountain. Then she tapped the rock, and turned it into 'mountain dust'. After that, she cracked open some 'mountain eggs', and mixed it into the mountain dust. She would knead it a couple times, spin it around, and shape out the noodles. And that was it! Mountain dough.
So they were eating rocks.
"Healthy rocks." Zero's grandma nodded and smiled in a way that only a grandma could.
Dinner soon came to an end. Mayo chose the guest room with the balcony, Zero ventured outside (were there even rooms out there?), and Steven settled into a room with a large open window.
Drifting off, he fell asleep…
The next morning, Steven woke up to the feeling of cold water.
It had jolted him out of his dream: He remembered running after a nice, juicy tomato, but as soon as it was almost within his grasp…
"SPLISH!"
His hair was now sopping wet. Drenched strands covered his eyebrows.
Blinking awake, he saw a tiger, bucket in hand.
Slowpoke, it seemed to say.
It waved a paw.
Come, follow me, it motioned.
And Steven did. • • •
| Subject: Training Montage
Attachment: training_montage.mp4
Duration: 10:00
Message: Graciously provided by Dieze. |
Scene 1: Steven stood at the base of an upside mountain, his face determined. The tiger pointed upwards with a commanding paw, urging him to climb. At the tip of the mountain, there were some disjointed steps, forming a makeshift staircase, with no railing. Steven began his ascent, each step strengthening his resolve. Oh, but the sun! It was so bright!
The tiger held an important bottle in its hands. Sunscreen, it mouthed, as sparkles sparkled around him. It posed like a model in an advert, with one leg raised, and two paws holding the bottle.
"Voluminous Tiger Sunscreen! Buy now! Only $XXX.99!"
[Jump Cut]
Scene 2: At the mountaintop, surrounded by ancient trees with roots that seemed to dig deep into the core of the earth, Steven looked at one such tree. With a deep breath, he threw a punch. At first, only a few leaves shook. But with each successive punch, his strength grew.
The tiger watched with a stoic expression, occasionally nodding in approval.
[Velocity Edit Sequence]
Suddenly, the trees grew arms and began throwing Steven around!
He found himself flying through the air like a ball of cabbage.
Scene 3: Now in a glowing forest clearing, the tiger demonstrated a stance - legs apart, hands extended, eyes closed. Steven imitated the stance, attempting to meditate. At first, he struggled, his mind wandering and body twitching, but over time he found his focus, feeling the 'energy of the mountains' flow through him.
The tiger climbed on top of him, making it more difficult to stand. It tapped areas of his body, telling him the proper way to circulate qi.
Steven fell down, getting swallowed up by the tiger's tush.
Scene 4: Underneath a powerful waterfall, Steven stood, allowing the weight of the cascading water to press down on him. His flute by his side, he used the force of the water to fortify his body and spirit. The tiger sat at a distance, playing a melodic tune on a leaf, guiding Steven's meditation.
Suddenly, he noticed something.
A flying drone?
Scene 5: Back at the boulder clearing, with newfound strength and technique, Steven played a hauntingly beautiful tune on his flute. The wind seemed to dance to his melody, leaves swirling around him in a mesmerizing pattern. The tiger listened intently, its stern face showing the faintest hint of a smile.
- - -
"I tried mimicking what you did with the flute," Steven sighed, letting the instrument slip from his grip. "But I can only make some leaves fly around."
"If only you could talk." The boy drew his gaze over to the fat tiger.
'Meow', it seemed to say.
"Is that a drone?" Steven squinted at the sky, "Why has that been following us around the entire time."
Not important. The tiger rolled over. 'Give me some belly rubs', its eyes seemed to demand.
"I can't understand you!" Steven shrugged. "If only there was a way…"
The tiger whacked him with a paw.
"Ow, OW, okay." Steven grumbled, tentatively rubbing the tigers belly. It softly purred.
Then, the tiger said: "I can talk."