Arnold eventually found out they were missing seventy-eight of the elderly. He said to his personal steward, James, “I don’t get it how seventy-eight old folks could just disappear. I mean they are as slow as molasses and where could they go or hide? Unless they are like lemmings and they all jumped into the sea and committed suicide. Yeah, that’s probably what happened. Well, I had probably better report this to the homeless initiative in DC as they asked to be kept informed of any changes.”

“Hello John, is it possible to speak with Mr. Perkins? I have some interesting news of a new development.” Arnold said lightheartedly.

“Hello Arnold. I am so sorry but he is not able to come to the phone. Would you like to leave a message?” John, the aide to Bob Perkins said.

“Yes, I suppose I could do that. John, have you ever heard of lemmings?” Arnold asked.

“No, I really don’t think so,” John said slowly.

“They are rodents who live in Alaska and when their community gets overpopulated, the majority of them climb up to a cliff overhanging the sea and they all start following each other jumping off of the cliff. It is sort of a suicide pact to control the population of the lemmings.” Arnold explained.

“OK, but why is that necessary to tell Bob Perkins? I don’t think he will be interested in me telling him about suicidal animals.” John said.

Arnold laughed. “Well, there is more to it than that. We woke up this morning and there were 78 of the elderly people missing from our cruise ship! We looked everywhere, but can’t find any of them, so I figured the only way they could have disappeared was for them to jump ship. So I am informing you of the missing 78 people,” Arnold said.

John said, “I don’t think this is very funny, Arnold. Bob is not in a good mood and I don’t think you should joke with him like this!”

“I am not joking, John. Ok, maybe the lemmings comparison is not a good one, but we really are missing 78 people!” Arnold said.

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John said he was receiving a call and had to go. “Hello?” he answered the other line.

The blustery mayor of Seattle was on the other line. “Hello! May I please speak to Bob Perkins? This is the mayor of Seattle and this is really important!”

“Sigh, every call today seems to be really important. What should I tell him is the reason for this call?” John asked.

“Our phones are ringing off the hooks, with people complaining about the inhumane treatment of the homeless at the clinic in Portland and objecting to the same fate for the homeless in Seattle. I told you all I didn’t want to enforce the homeless solution in Seattle and now we have this trouble. You folks are able to hide up there in Washington DC, but we are left to deal with these people and their demonstrations and it has gone crazy over here. What are you going to do about it?” the mayor asked.

“Ok, let me get Bob. Please hold on,” John said.

“This is Bob,” Mr. Perkins said as he answered the phone. “How can I help you?”

The mayor was full of his subject and practically yelled the whole problem to Mr. Perkins. Mr. Perkins calmly explained to the mayor, “The video has been taken down from social media and we have the obnoxious Karen in custody. Her name is Miranda Cummings. Miles was sent to talk with her. She won’t be causing any more trouble. Also, we have contacted the captain of the cruise ship that was moved into your bay and he will be moving it today to Los Angeles and out of your hair. Stop moving forward with the homeless solution and post signs at the clinic and at the park, letting everyone know that the operations will not be starting up in November and they are indefinitely suspended.”

The mayor had calmed down significantly at this news. “So we won’t be hosting the homeless solution?” the mayor asked.

“Not right now. We will let the crazies die down first and we will operate in other places first before we get to starting up Seattle,” Bob explained. “Does that help your situation?”

“Yes, that is much better, but what about that pest, the Karen? What if she starts stirring things up again?” the mayor asked.

“ Miles told her when she was talking about the homeless solution being inhumane, that she just needed to look at the homeless on the street with the concrete as their pillows and with needles strung out all around them and with people spitting on them and with them laying in their own vomit. Then he asked Miranda Cummings if that was humane, leaving them in that situation. He also showed her some pictures of the homeless on the cruise ship in Portland and how happy they were. Then to totally convince her, he threatened her with losing her job and not being able to pay her mortgage. She is now totally convinced,” Bob explained.

The mayor was satisfied with this answer and was already preparing his speech to the city of Seattle.