"Herbert, what the hell" Gray said, her voice a mix of anger and disbelief. "You're supposed to be off work today. Why are you here? We broke up years ago."

"Jeez, Gray, can't a guy see his ex-girlfriend?" Herbert said, grinning. "Besides its not like I'm here to see you. I got called in to fill in for Gary, he's had a little accident."

"So, you're telling me, that they assigned the department's ace to portal duty?" Gray said, crossing her arms. "I find that hard to believe."

Herbert shrugged. "Hey, I'm just following orders. Besides, it's not like I have anything better to do. I'm not exactly in high demand these days."

"Right, because you're a lazy, good-for-nothing, self-absorbed, arrogant, narciss..."

"Heeey whos this?" Herbert interrupted, his eyes lighting up as he saw Sam. "You didn't tell me you had a new partner, what's your name kid?"

"Samian Green," Sam said, "Gray helped me out when I first got here. She's been showing me the ropes."

"Really? Well, I'm Herbert, the Empire's top Legal Advisor," Herbert said, puffing out his chest. "Did Gray tell you what we do?"

"I heard it wasn't a glamorous job," Sam said, eyes flicking to Gray.

Herbert laughed. "Oh, it's not. But it's a necessary one. Every time you use an automated arbitration device, our department is the one that makes sure that you have a shot with the Big Guy. Normal people's brains can't handle the logical complexity behind INTELLECT's decisions, so we have to pave the way for them by setting precedent you see." He winked. "It's a tough job where we go head to toe with the almighty eldritch overlord every day, but someone's got to do it."

"Green don't listen to him," Gray said, rolling her eyes. "He's just trying to impress you. Most of his job is just paperwork and arguing with the other departments. I have no idea how he got the title of 'ace' when the hard work is all done by his assistants. For all I know he hasn't faced INTELLECT in years."

"Hey, I resent that," Herbert said, "I'll have you know that I've never lost a case, and my office has got the highest success rate in the department."

"Because you never take difficult cases," Gray said, "Tell me what was the last arbitration you handled personally?"

Herbert hesitated. "Well, you see, I've been busy with other things... so I have been focused on the more delicate cases involving intimate objects."

"Intimate objects?" Gray said, raising an eyebrow. "Wait a minute, you don't mean..."

Gray suddenly howled with laughter, clutching her stomach. "Dont tell me you're the hotshot the media's been talking about! The one who got INTELLECT to recognize body pillows as marital partners! Oh my god, I can't believe it!"

Herbert's face turned red. "It was a difficult case! The client had a collection of special edition body pillows that he had been with for years. But when he was reborn, his family decided to throw them out. He wanted them back, but INTELLECT was like 'they're just pillows, get over it, we'll make you new ones'. So I had to argue that they were more than just pillows, they were a part of him! I had to prove they were united in love, flesh and .. ehem ... other bodily fluids. And I won! The client got his pillows back, and now we have a precedent for other cases involving personal objects of sentimental value. It's a good thing for all of us."

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

Sam couldn't help but chuckle at Herbert's story. "That's... that's amazing. I can't believe you did that."

"Jeez, Green, don't encourage him," Gray said, wiping a tear from her eye. "He's insufferable enough as it is."

"Well enough about me," Herbert said, "What brings you two to an interdimensional terminal? You're not running away from the law again, are you Gray?"

"Ha ha, very funny," Gray said, "No, we're here to enter Green's jurisdiction. He's been feeling a bit lost lately, so I thought I'd show him what being a god is all about."

"Jurisdiction? We?" Herbert repeated, "Your coming with him? Gray, you know that's not within your right to do that on your own. Do you have the paperwork for this?"

Gray huffed, and pulled out a small device from her pocket before handing it to Herbert. "Here, I filled out the forms last night and got it pre-approved. Everything's in order."

Herbert squinted at the holographic screen, scrolling through the document. "You made him the god of... what? 'The god of lost things'? Gray, you can't be serious. That's not a real domain."

"I am what?" Sam said, looking at Gray in confusion.

"Of course it's a real domain," Gray said, "I've seen it in action. Green has a knack for finding things that are lost, such as my tools, notes, and even people! Just the other day he helped find an elusive criminal that had been hiding in the city for weeks. He's a natural at it."

Herbert raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Well, it was more like I was kidnapped by the criminal and put up as a sacrifice" Sam said.

"Don't fret about the details," Gray said, "it's technically true. Besides, it's only temporary until he finds his true domain. I'm sure he'll do great."

Herbert sighed, and handed the device back to Gray. "Fine, I'll let it slide this time."

"Thanks, Herbert," Gray said. "I owe you one."

"Green, sign here," Herbert said, pointing to a screen. "you will be officially recognized as the god of lost things, and you will be granted access to the jurisdictional portal with Gray as your guide. Do you accept?"

Sam hesitated, looking at the screen, but saw Gray nodding encouragingly. "I accept."

"Alright," Herbert said, "Now, let's get you two through the portal. We don't want to keep the Big Guy waiting."

The trio made their way to the portal frame, a black rectangular opening that shimmered with energy. Gray stepped through first, before disappearing in a flash of purple light. Sam was about to follow, when Herbert stopped him.

"Green, I know you're new to this, but I have to warn you," Herbert said, his voice serious. "The multiverse is a dangerous place, just because you're an immortal god now doesn't mean you're invincible. Keep your wits about you, and don't trust anyone. Not even Gray. She's a good person, but remember, even good people have agendas. Be careful."

Sam nodded, and stepped through the portal, the world disappearing around him a few moments later.