The human world was a disgusting place. Everything was so bright and the smell was crisp and salty. The ground was covered in stone and the buildings were made of stone. They even have stone-looking pots in odd colors placed everywhere with little green plants growing out of them. Jaakx might not have paid much attention during lessons on humans but he was pretty sure no one had mentioned their weird fascination with rocks.

The noise was also frustrating. The birds here screamed overhead before they dipped down to steal food. The stealing he could get behind but the screaming made him want to snatch one from the air and pluck every white feather from its body. And that was just the birds, the humans themselves were louder still.

He didn’t know where he was exactly. The portal had dumped him out in the middle of a human village near a fountain. Surprisingly, none of the humans seemed to pay the swirling vortex of sparkling colors any attention. The streets were lined with tables stacked high with a sickening array of vegetables. Humans stood on both sides of that table yelling at each other and exchanging shiny flat pebbles and colored paper. His ears flicked back and forth trying to take it all in and failing miserably. Eventually, with a howl, he grabbed the tips of his ears and yanked them down trying unsuccessfully to muffle the sound.

At least killing one of them would be an easy thing. All this racket made him want to murder the lot of them.

With a huff Jaakx dropped to his butt, shifting his short tail out of the way before folding his legs and snatching his backpack from his back. Inside was a collection of swamp hog jerky, some of Onk’s buzz sludge, the dagger Ma had gifted him on his third birthday, and a small book on spells he’d stolen from Master Geer.

Taking out the dagger he replaced the backpack and eyed the crowd of people through the leaves of the bush he sat in. There were so many different kinds of humans to choose from. The children wouldn’t be as easy to trap and kill as he had thought; they traveled in herds and were watched closely. A few older men walked the street, ignoring the shouting people behind the tables. They were just the right amount of pudgy for a good stew. Their angry-looking faces made him wonder if they were more dangerous than they looked. The women tended to move in groups as well, meandering down the street as they filled their baskets with food.

Then he saw it; the perfect target. She walked with a cane and showed no interest in anybody else as she shuffled down the street. She exchanged a few of those shiny flat pebbles for some food. She was old. Very old by the look of her silvery hair tied in a bun and her face covered with deep wrinkles. Her dress was blue and dotted with flowers giving her a sweet air about her even if she seemed to scowl at anyone who got close to her.

She was perfect. And better yet, almost past the bulk of the other humans. Almost. Holy hellcat, she was slow.

Jaakx covered his face with his clawed hands and muttered a string of words in the Old Language. Black smoke coated his hands as the magic came alive. The spell was a trickier one. It was called ‘Shadow Mask’ in the books he’d read. So long as he didn’t bump into anyone or get wet no one would recognize him as a goblin.

Using the magic gave him a little thrill. The more he used it the easier it got to use some more. Once upon a time, Shadow Mask had been far too complicated for him to cast. Not anymore. Ma’s penchant for excessive training was coming in handy despite the fact he hadn’t used it for the things she actually wanted. The blasted training axe of hers might have been made of wood but it was still too heavy for him to throw around the way Onk did.

Jaakx walked out from his hiding place as if he belonged there and marched down the street. The yelling and screaming grew louder, tormenting his every step. He focused on the back of the rotund old lady, following her as she left the noise behind and began to wind through the cramped streets. Stone buildings in odd orange shades rose up around them casting the street they followed into shadow. They passed the odd human or two, most of them gathered around a set of steps that led to one of many doorways. None of them took Jaakx’s fancy though; he had chosen well with the little granny. He was sure of it.

Once they were in a secluded area he’d slit her throat, take her soul gem as proof of the murder, and head back home. Hell, maybe he’d even take the body back to Ma. She’d be thrilled by the feast as well as the new badge he would get in exchange for the gem. Then the Corps would welcome him with open arms and he could avoid a gruesome death by frying pan or stew pot, whichever Ma was feeling at the time.

Jaakx flashed his sharp teeth as the granny rounded a bend into an even darker and more secluded alley. The smell of brine was strong here in the tight confines of the alley. Far ahead sunlight reflected off the rippling sheet of water that seemed to reach for the horizon. It wasn’t like the healthy brown water at home filled with insects, poisonous plants, and the occasional snapping gator. No, it was too clean. Too perfect. The blue so bright it stung his eyes. Hideous.

His toe smacked into a loose rock, sending it clattering over the stone road they walked on. Jaakx stiffened when the granny paused in her shuffling and pressed himself up against a wall as she turned. Her sharp brown eyes swept the tight confines of the street passing over Jaakx as if he weren’t there at all. Shadow Mask was a wonderful spell. Too bad you could only cast it once every twenty-four hours. It took hours to fade though so long as the caster followed the rules so maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing.

Satisfied that no one was following her the granny turned back to her slow waddle, turning down another even tighter alleyway. Jaakx hurried to follow, muttering under his breath at the crushing feeling of the stone buildings pressing in on him from both sides. He could spread his arms in here and press his palms to the opposing walls.

The granny stopped at the end of the alley and started fumbling in her pockets. Jaakx smiled and slipped up behind her, adjusting his grip on the dagger in his hand. A small chime tickled his ears as his arm flashed forward.

“Bugger,” the woman mumbled, ducking under his swing to pick up the key she’d dropped by her slippered feet.

Jaakx hissed quietly, furious that luck had taken his kill. The woman straightened with a groan and shoved the key in the lock, pushing her way into the building before Jaakx could compose himself and strike again. He yelped when the door began to close and shot through the gap before it banged into place.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

Inside the smell of brine and the noise of the yelling birds was muffled until he barely sensed either at all. The scent of something fruity filled the air. It was tangy and oddly energizing whatever it was. Wooden tables and fat, overstuffed armchairs filled the small space leaving little room for the goblin to place his feet.

He swept the room with his gaze, his dagger held at the ready only to be lowered in disappointment. He must have been more shocked than he thought because the old granny was gone somehow.

His ears twitched at the sound of humming emanating from the bright room ahead. It was separated from this overfilled one by a softly curving archway. The sweetness of the low musical notes made his stomach turn.

Creeping on the pads of his long feet he crept across the room, carefully keeping his tail away from all the dusty breakables on every surface. If he didn’t know any better he would have thought the old woman put all this here as a noise trap for burglars. Too bad it wasn’t enough to stop a crafty goblin.

He stepped up to the archway and carefully leaned through, taking in the room in one quick movement. It was almost as cramped as the room he stood in but filled with bright sunlight, chairs, plates, and food. A kitchen like none he’d ever seen. It was too clean. There were too many frilly things hanging over the windows and across the tables. Besides, a kitchen really didn’t feel much like one without the fragrance of a stew bubbling over an open flame.

Granny was standing by some sort of tub of water dunking the many vegetables she’d just brought in from the street. Her back was to Jaakx. His grin returned as he snuck from his hiding place and rushed across the distance. He leaped, gripping his dagger in both hands as he brought it down on the old lady’s back.

The short blade touched nothing but air.

Jaakx blinked, barely turning in time to see the hunk of wood before it slammed into his head. Pain burst inside his skull. The force of the strike sent him soaring across the room only to slam into a wall and crumple to the floor. His dagger clattered away from him as he reached up, feeling the dampness spreading through his hair before warm trickles of it ran down his face.

“What, what just…” Jaakx managed before a wave of nausea had him clamping his mouth shut.

Water splashed over him, drenching him from flap-like ears to clawed toes. He felt the dark magic fade away with the wetness. The old lady stepped up in front of him. Her yellowed teeth were bared in a grin that reminded him of Onk’s as she tapped a long, heavy stick of wood against her other hand. It wasn’t the cane she’d been using outside but it was plenty big enough to be one even if it didn’t curve anywhere along its length.

“Well, well, well,” the granny said. “What have we here?”

Jaakx worked his jaw, not sure what to say. His goblin nature was fully exposed to the woman. She should be scared or at least curious. Instead, she looked… hungry. That couldn’t be right.

Granny crouched down, her knees cracking from the motion. “A tiny little goblin and in my home of all places. Today truly is my lucky day.”

Black smoke gathered around his hands as he began to chant the same spell that had incapacitated Onk. Pain shattered his concentration as the heavy stick slammed into his head again.

“No, please,” he cried. “I just wanted my Slaughter Badge.”

He should have listened to Master Geer. He should have known how dangerous this world was from all the stories Ma and Onk told. Why hadn’t he bothered to listen?

The old woman blinked and tilted her head, her bloodied stick still raised ready to strike once more.

“Your Slaughter Badge?” the woman asked.

Jaakx closed his eyes, wishing he hadn’t said a word. The woman was going to bludgeon him to death.

The woman grunted as she pushed herself back up and stomped across the kitchen, tossing her weapon onto the frilly table covering. Jaakx watched her go, his body shaking with relief even as his mouth hung open.

The woman gestured toward the table. “Take a seat goblin boy.”

Jaakx hesitated. The woman was weaponless now. He could stab her with his claws. The idea flashed through his mind in a rush. The way sparkles danced in front of his eyes when he climbed to his feet had him changing his mind real quick. He stumbled to the table and dropped into a chair, letting his aching head drop to the solid surface as he groaned out his pain. The old lady was damn strong. Maybe even stronger than Onk.

A steaming plate was dropped in front of him. Jaakx reeled back before taking a whiff of the food. It was a plate of pale headless worms topped with balls of meat, a sauce as red as blood, and a sprinkling of yellowish powder that smelled like feet.

The old woman dropped into the chair opposite him and gestured to her food. “Eat. A scrawny boy like you must be starving.”

“No, I…”

“No arguments!” the woman bellowed. “Now eat.”

Jaakx did as he was told. After the first bite, he no longer cared that he was sitting across from a human with his head split open. He slurped and snapped until every last drop was down his gullet and then he looked for more. He was handed bread. Whoever had cooked it must have done it wrong because it wasn’t flat and hard but thick and soft on the inside. Jaakx tore into it with abandon.

“Is there any more?” he practically begged.

The old woman grinned. “There will be plenty more for you if you agree to my deal.”

Jaakx lifted a brow. “Deal?”

“Oh, my, yes. I’ll help you earn your Slaughter Badge, and a few others at that, if you’ll help me clear out some of the pests ruining my retirement.”

“Rats?” Jaakx asked.

The old lady laughed. “No, not rats. More like nosey Mrs. Banchi down the street. She so likes to disrupt my quiet time.”

“You want me to kill another human?” Jaakx asked in disbelief.

“Not just one, my dear. You and I are going to have a fine time together.”

Jaakx shifted as he mulled over the idea of teaming up with a human. It would take a little longer to get what he wanted but the longer he was here the more of that delicious food he could have. Ma’s stews might as well be slop for the swamp hogs compared to this lady’s fine fare. Slobber dripped from the corner of his mouth at the thought of more worms in bloody sauce.

“What do I call you?” he asked.

She beamed and pushed another roll of bread closer to him. “Call me ‘Nonna.’”