For the first time in a long while, I would be making my way to the studio.

During the week after the talent show, recordings of our performance spread around, mostly being praised. Eventually, the producer I used to work with got to see it, too, and decided to call me up.

I stood in front of the large building, where I would regularly find myself on the seventh floor in the past.

Even though it had been quite a while since I was last there, it was almost as if I had never left. Everything was still in the same place. The people I used to regularly bump into in the hallways greeted me as if I bumped into them yesterday as well.

The familiarity, the sense of belonging, all of that makes me understand that I’m tied to this place. That I want to be tied to this place. It’s special to me. Despite that feeling, I still ran away from it when things didn’t go down a desirable path.

Perhaps it’s regret. Perhaps it’s the end of feeling homesick. But walking inside this building as a revenant, treated as a habitué, made me feel all warm inside.

I was a few doors away from my old producer’s studio when I bumped into the first person who seemed spooked to see me again.

“Kuruno Koji,” she said, slowly, while stopping in her tracks.

“It’s been a while,” I politely said with a slight bow. “Congratulations on the success of your new album,” I added, which she ignored.

“I never thought I’d see you walking in here again. Tired of being called a failed ‘one-hit wonder’?”

It was kind of harsh getting to know that title, especially coming from one of the most successful people I’ve met face to face; LuNA, but she wouldn’t have said it hadn’t it been true.

Still, I had no clue I was labelled that to begin with, so I shook my head, “I came here to stay this time.” The unpretty title I was given shook me a little bit emotionally, maybe that’s why I added, “I might be titled ‘failed’ for now, but every failure I face, is but a step towards my inevitable success.”

She smiled at my overly arrogant comment and slapped me on my shoulder whilst walking away, “I like your attitude kid. See you around.”

I continued my way to the studio, knocked on the door once I arrived and slowly opened it—taking in all the nostalgia fluttering through my brain.

When I walked inside the room, the producer stood up from his chair and said, “At long last… reunited.” As dramatic as always, though that’s included in the feeling of familiarity, too.

“I’m glad to be back,” I said.

“Woah, your voice really is a little deeper, huh. You’ve grown a bit taller, too.”

“It would be a shame if I didn’t,” I said, to which we shared a little laugh.

Then he gestured at his chair. “Please, take a seat.” While taking a folding chair for himself.

“Alright, Koji, first things first, ‘Mr. Throwaway-Child’. Gather the friends you’ve made it with as quickly as possible, because we’re going to make it a hit!”

“I’ll ask them, though I already know that they want to be a part of this.”

“Perfect. Next thing… Are you ready to make your big comeback?”

Without hesitation, and with overbearing confidence glimmering in my eyes, I said, “Yes, I am.”

He rubbed his hands together with a smile equalling the confidence of mine, “Hit after hit, that’s what we’re aiming for. Do you have any ideas for your first song after Throwaway-Child?”

I couldn’t tell him everything just yet, not before asking the person in question. “I do. It’ll be called ‘Snowfall turned a Blizzard’ but I have to talk to someone first, is that alright?”

“No problem,” he said. “Let’s focus on the song at hand now, we’ll discuss the rest after.”

Suddenly the door opened, only to be slammed close again before I could turn around to see who it was.

The both of us fell silent for a second, until he said, “Anyway… I’m not going to take too much of your time today. I was just dying to see you again after hearing you in a song again. Bring your friends with you next time you come if you can, I’ll get everything ready that needs taking care of.”

I stood up from his chair and said, “I will, I’m sure they’ll look forward to it.”

“Take care, Koji.”

I left the room, closed the door and saw another familiar someone sitting against the wall with her legs curled up and her head held down in her knees.

It had been exactly, on the nose, been a year since I last saw her.

She probably noticed that I didn’t walk away after closing the door, hence why she slowly rolled her head sideways on her knees. Her hair, a little longer since I last saw her, clumsily laid over her shoulder, with strands of it over her lips.

“Happy birthday, Katou.”

Her cheeks, partially covered, were still visibly flushed.

It looked as if she stopped breathing. The only thing moving were her eyes, darting between mine, blinking with that little bit more repetition.

I sat down next to her, with my back to the wall, and my legs curled up as well.

“How is your new song coming along? I’ve been listening to everything you’ve brought out. You’re doing even better than I was.”

She buried her face between her knees again, not saying a word.

I continued, “I’m sorry, for giving up on music. This time I won’t run away anymore. I’ll make it work, no matter what it takes.”

She still didn’t say a word, so I continued with a proposal. “So, rival, ready to make music together? I’ve already got a song fitting your style in mind.”

Her answer lacked words, but was clearer than any words could be; she rested her head against my shoulder, as softly as a cat’s headbutt. The ends of her lips slightly raised up, a smile appeared. The warmth and calm she spread, really felt like a pet’s love. She’s certainly not a cat, since she lacks the fur and whiskers, but who knows, she might’ve started purring.

When we sat there for a little while, her stomach started growling, which came close to the sound of a cat purring. She jumped up and took off.

* * *

The following week, on Monday, I told the other’s the news when I bumped into them on my way to school.

“Kuruno Koji… you have to be kidding, right? One song of us three and our careers are taking flight! Who would’ve thought… superstars overnight.”

Kashimoto, who was walking in the middle of us three, swung his arms over our shoulders. Uncharacteristic of him, he said, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This is only the start, bros.” He raised his head towards the morning sun.

The way he said “bros”, like Morita often did, was the most atypical thing out of everything he said.

“Yeah… you’re right. Oh, I almost forgot, we need a group name.”

“Huh? What’s that mean Kuruno Koji, bro? We already got a name, ‘Ku-Mo-Ka, no?”

Kashimoto and I both said, “We never agreed to that name.”

“By the way, Morita,” I said. “You can just call me Koji, you know? No need to say my full name everytime.”

“You sure? I always do out of great respect. If that’s your wish, then who am I to reject. I will call you Koji from now on, with immediate effect.

That same day during lunch break, we had our breakthrough in finding a name all of us could agree on.

Well, at least when Nomura joined our table. Before that we were stuck with no progress as usual with our brainstorming sessions.

“What about The Disposables?” Nomura suggested.

The three of us blankly stared without saying anything for a minute. All the names we had been suggesting before her arrival were dismissed within seconds, though this one stuck. It sounded right. Even though she might’ve been trying to make fun of us…

Though it really felt like something we could label ourselves as. “We are The Disposables,” yeah, that couldn’t be more perfect.

“…Nomura,” I started.

“—That’s perfect…” Kashimoto continued.

Thus, the tale of The Disposables started. We fine tuned our song with the producer, released it not long after and each one of us ended up getting a contract deal.

Morita’s rap was easy to integrate with other artists, since he brought such a unique touch to every song he featured in. The same went for Kashimoto, not many people, especially of his age, can play the violin quite like he does.

There’s still me of course, after our first song as The Disposables took off, it was time for the comeback of Kuruno Koji.

“Good you’re here,” my producer said. “Katou will hopefully be arriving soon.”

After practising together the past two Saturdays, on this one we would put the song together, completing it. The song is still called ‘Snowfall turned a Blizzard’. I’m the gentler version of snow; the Snowfall and Katou’s signature ‘mayhem’ is the Blizzard.

The producer stood up from his folding chair and said, “I’m going to get a cup of coffee. Need some, too?”

“No, thanks. I don’t really like bitter things.”

“Ha-ha, every coffee lover said that at some point in their lives. Anyway, be right back.”

Shortly after he left, and all-in-all not much after my arrival, Katou arrived as well.

“Good morning,” she said.

“Good morning, a little late, huh,” I teasingly said.

“Sorry, Tokyo boy, but I came here all the way from Shizuoka while you look like you came straight out of bed.”

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

I laughed, not expecting her to come back so hard at me. “Ready to finish the song?”

“Yup!” she said, as she sat down on the armrest of the chair. “Have you already been thinking about your next song after this?”

I nodded. “It’s one about falling out of love, and then reawakening that love.”

A little wide-eyed, she asked, “With who?”

“With ‘what’ you mean,” I said. “It’s about me and my guitar. I have yet to come up with a title, though.”

“Oh, do you have a bit of the text already?”

“Yeah, but only a little. Want me to sing it?”

She very eagerly nodded her head, “Please do!”

But before I could, the producer walked in. “Great, you’re here! Let’s get started shall we?”

We quickly wrapped things up, we only had the official recording to do after all.

As the gentleman I’ve been raised to be, I walked her to the station. I had no excuses such as ‘it’s dangerous at night’ since it was broad daylight. So I had to be honest when she wondered why I went out of my way to walk her and told her that I did so because I wanted to.

* * *

A couple of weeks later, both Mr. Throwaway-Child and Snowfall turned a Blizzard were doing pretty good and the producer asked me if I could release another song, to ride on the current hype going about my return.

I had already told Katou a little about it, my next song was about falling out of love. Me and my guitar.

It didn’t take long before the song was ready to go and within a month of the previous one releasing, it was already on the radio.

“Next up… a new song called ‘Apathetic Fool’ by no one other than Kuruno Koji,” the radio DJ said. “That’s his third song since his break, and I can’t wait to hear what it’ll sound like. Alright, enjoy.”

I was at home in the living room when it came on. Mom was there as well, looking very proud of me, as she had been with the other two songs as well.

I might be mistaken

Though I know I miss taking you wherever I went

Whenever I go, looking forward to the moments together we'll spend

If you told me that one day this all would come to an end

I would be lost

Not a clue what to do

But I can't live with you

How could I possibly ignore

That I don't love you anymore

...I don't love you anymore

Everyday, I meet your gaze

You're trying to lure me in

But I resist your deception and temptation at will

No matter how much I long for distant days to come

I know they'll never return

No matter how much we wait

We're in overtime already, it's far too late

I'm a pathetic apathetic fool

About to lose my cool, you're far too cruel

Reawakening something deep inside me; the roar

I can't withstand it no more

I recently came up with a song I'm sure you'll adore

But I'll never let you hear it, for...

I don't love you anymore

At long last, you're back in my embrace

Finally, I came to understand

That I must never let go of your hand

I'll hold you tight

With all my might

Together we shine so bright

A blindingly white light

We'll shine on like this forever if that's alright

So, in the end, I can no longer pretend

That I'm an apathetic fool to this extent

To this extreme

Take my hand and together we'll dream

Again, like we used to when we were seven

I can no longer lie, no longer deny

That I love you more, each day passing by

Now I'm not even sure why

I was a pathetic fool, afraid to fly

“That’s another great song, Koji! What will you make next? Or am I not allowed to know again?” She asked, exaggerating a sad expression.

“Yup, it’ll be a secret again.”

“You sure know how to keep people on ropes, you know.”

I laughed, realising it was pretty true, “I’ll let you in on one thing, it’ll be another song as The Disposables.”

She clapped her hands together, “Oh, how exciting!”

Our next song together was a very energetic song, called ‘Athlete on the Beat’. It was inspired by Morita’s past pursuits in the track club before his girlfriend broke up with him. Though you’d never guess that if you didn’t carefully decipher the lyrics.

The song turned out to be one that even I—a person who doesn’t dance—goes crazy to.

Next up, it was time to make big moves in order to keep my momentum going. Every single one of my friends in music was doing great, so I couldn’t slack one bit or I’d fall behind.

“Koji, good to see you,” my producer said as I entered the building. It was late in the afternoon on a weekday, I didn’t usually go there from Monday to Friday, but I had requested something. “Just follow the way to my studio, but enter the second door instead.”

I did as he said, and knocked on the door once I was there.

“Hm? Come in,” the voice behind the door said.

I opened it and saw LuNA seated in her office chair, with the backrest pretty much horizontally down and she was playing her electric guitar on top of her stomach.

“Huh? You here?”

“Sorry for… uh… interrupting.”

She stretched her left arm down and rocked her chair back into its original position. “It’s cool. What do you need?”

“I wanted to ask you if we could make a song together,” I told her, straight to the point.

She looked at me with little to no readable expression on her face. Then she slightly sucked in her lips, squinting her eyes ever so slightly. It quickly became obvious to me that she wouldn’t be able to hold it in. ‘It’ being roaring laughter.

I stood there, baffled, watching her burst out laughing while I was dead serious about my request.

When she slowly recovered from laughing, her expressionless face made its return. “Wait, you’re serious?”

I looked her dead in the eye, with no hesitation I said, “Yes.”

Which replayed the previous scene; she burst out laughing again.

At this point, the laughter felt a tad bit too personal. I had to do something to restore my confidence that had been shattered into a million pieces.

I walked into the room, but saw nowhere to sit, so I sat down cross-legged on the floor.

When I earnestly looked her in the eyes again, she said, “Since you’re so serious, I’ll show you my good heart and hear you out.”

“Good heart, yeah, right. You’re just having a good time making fun of me.”

She laughed again, “You got me. Well, anyway, let me hear it.”

I suddenly remembered how she said that she liked my arrogant attitude last time we bumped into each other. I quickly changed up my way of presenting my proposal.

“You’ve been one of the most popular artists for a while now, right?”

“Right,” she immediately affirmed.

“So, I was thinking, if one of the best artists out there, pairs up with one of the most exciting upcoming artists—”

“That’d be you?”

“Yeah.”

She laughed.

I continued, “It would be a win-win-win situation.”

I piqued her interest if her current curious facial expression was anything to go by.

“Don’t you mean win-win situation?”

“The first win,” I said, “is that my reach will grow and I could potentially launch my career to another level.”

She leaned her head on her fist and seemed to be attentively listening.

“The second win, if you pair up with someone like me to make a song, you’re guaranteed to stay relevant for as long as my music is played. Since a song with you would certainly be my best wouldn’t it?”

I saw her facial expression changing again, she looked conflicted this time around.

“What’s the last win?” She asked.

“The third, and last win, is that you won’t have to lay down horizontally in your office chair… doing jack shit, until an amusing person like me walks into the room, brightening up your dull day.”

I sounded very harsh and intense, especially taking into consideration that I was still a child, talking this way to an adult.

But she was loving it, yet another outburst of laughter.

“You’ve got some nerve kid!”

With her smile still present on her face, she bonked her guitar on top of my head. Not that I didn’t deserve that.

“I’ll make a song with you, alright? Bring me a good idea and I’ll give you my time of day.”

“Thank you!”

She was barely present in the building, but the next time she was there, I had my proposal completely ready. I showed her what I had written as my part of the song and asked her to fill in hers. She’s been a professional for a very long time now, but I still didn’t expect her to finish it up in no time.

On the same day of my proposal, we had completed the lyrics, played it together, fine tuned all the things that needed to be taken care of and even professionally recorded the audio.

When we made our way out of the building, I accidentally let the words in my mind slip out of my mouth, “No wonder you have so much time to laze around everyday if this is the pace you finish everything on.”

She grabbed me by my neck and aggressively ruffled through my hair, “I don’t want to hear that from you, mister disappears for a year.”

The song we made together that day was called ‘Celestial Roamer’. And like I had said during my proposal, for a good while it was labelled my best song yet. But to both of our surprises, it was seen as one of LuNA’s best as well. I wouldn’t have said it in her face, but that could only mean one thing; the Koji effect.

Well, all kidding aside, I was very glad the song did so well. At this point in time, thanks to all of my collaborations, I was more popular than I was ever before.

Which meant it was time to make one of my best ideas for a single that I had in mind for quite a while now.