Night Soil’s Daily Dirt

“All the dirt that's fit to dish”

Published New Hesperides,

S.E. 12, Y.F. 10210

Days Since Last:

Catastrophic Magical Accident: 396

Major Demon Summoning: 69

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Goblin Orgy: 4

Lich Rising: 1,006

Weather:

Bright Sun, blue flecks of mage stars visible at times.

Ruling Sigil: Star of Eirun

Periodic bird migrations continue. Expect quiet punctuated by primordial screams.

Soiled Linens:

– Mayor pushes back on lich claims. “There's no phylactery strong enough to contain the Mayor’s sexual vigor,” spokesman Herbert Rimes explained.

– Sources say the Parks and Rec Dep’t planted sentient Ularyn seedlings. “Baseless allegations like these are why I keep the Daily Dirt in our office restroom,” City Attorney and clandestine toilet reader, Rita Rimes, declared.

Classifieds:

Help Wanted - Bank of Hesperus looks for high-level money courier. Inquire at High Plaza Branch.

For Sale - Plate Armor, needs polishing. Shade Market Plaza, Apothecary Lane

For Sale - Night Soil of the Ur-Wolf 1000% pure. Inquire at the Litmus St vats.

Lucky Numbers:

383 885 958 020 574 031 582