Fiona was more surprised that she hadn’t even noticed Barry come in–had he been one of the first arrivals, and just been quietly chilling? That was not cool, Kings were supposed to make as much racket as possible, and make giant peacock presentations. This guy was more like the snake you had to watch out for creeping through the grass, looking to take a bite out of your backside.

Or, more like a gator.

She hated gators. They were the reason she’d avoided Florida at all costs, besides the oft-mentioned Florida Man stories. She pondered if Barry had been paying attention to her little speech.

It was surprising Jake had also not given her a heads-up. However, it was apparent even he didn’t know, because his stern gaze was followed by him clenching his muzzle tightly, and his claws flexed gently.

“He snuck in quietly,” Jake stated with measured calm. That confirmed even he didn’t know about this VIP.

“Bold of him to show up,” Fiona growled beside him. “I see his little entourage working this way. Would you guys excuse me?” She pushed up from the seat against Bonnie’s protest, who tried to stop her from heading up to the second-floor balcony. The knights from the castle were on their way to see her, because they surrounded her.

“The King wants to talk to you,” the knight with the shiniest, biggest helmet asked with little emotion.

“Perfect timing. I was so eager to talk to him, considering our last conversation,” she added while glaring at the stairwell. “Don’t bother escorting me. I know the way up.” Bonnie caught up, and one of the knights put out a gauntleted hand, to ward her away. Fiona gave him an excoriating glare. “My mage gets to come with me, for my protection.”

“Uh, I thought my job was to protect other people from you,” Bonnie quipped.

“Close enough,” she responded with a smirk. The knight frowned.

“That’s not how this works,” dummy number one called out.

“Yeah, it is. Unless you want to make a scene, in the adventurer’s guild hall, with hundreds of hostile witnesses against you, who do not share a lot of love for someone willing to, oh I dunno, mistreat the dashing heroine of the hour? You might want to think that through for a second,” Fiona told him in a cool tone.

Dummy number one was sharper than the rest of the guys with oversized armaments, and waved Bonnie through, after a tense moment. He did ask her to leave her spell satchel behind.

“Don’t need spell components to make Beardless have a bad time,” she growled as they ascended the stairs. “Fi, don’t do something stupid.”

“When have I ever done that?” she asked while wishing she still had her hammer. Whatever Barry had planned, it must be some kind of scheme. Schemers schemed, and tried to get other saps to be stuck holding the bag, if things went wrong. A bag filled with manure, most likely.

“Fi, seriously? You might want to let cool heads prevail. Kings crashing private venues is never a good thing. Even more so when he hasn’t announced it with any fanfare,” Bonnie cautioned her, and gently stopped her at the landing before the last flight of stairs. “Don’t antagonize him.”

“Relax, I’ve got this Bonnie. Greg taught me better than that,” Fiona assured her. “Besides, what more can he do?”

“Oh, I don’t think either of us wants to answer that question,” Bonnie sighed before they continued up the stairs. One more fancy knight in armor waved them through, where Barry was dressed in formal attire, wine glass in hand–and some schmoozy blonde that Fiona hadn’t seen before, brown eyes and looking like she used too much makeup. Like a blonde owl. She was practically pouring out of her dress, which for some reason, bothered her. Barry cleared his throat before anyone could speak, and motioned the guards away, who took the cue and descended the stairs.

After another moment of posing, he spoke. “So, you took my advice, Miss Swiftheart. Quite intriguing, I thought you would have been stubborn enough to try to bash your head against the problem with killing more monsters.”

She curled her fingers gently, before reminding herself that this twerp could not be taken care like most of her other problems. She gave him a strained smile. “Listen, Barry,” Fiona started to say Bonnie nudged her before she could get a retort out, and Fiona glanced at that disapproving motion of her muzzle. Fiona course-corrected, and let out a relaxing sigh. “My apologies, King Barry. We’re graced with your presence. I didn’t think you were on the invite list.”

“I wasn’t. Kings shouldn’t announce where they’re going in advance, and any door is open to me.” It was sound advice for this creep, because she figured people would be sharpening knives if they knew ahead of time. “I wanted to congratulate you. I saw the building over on Perrier Way, it was quite impressive that you acquired, renovated, and are opening in a few days. Still emboldened that you think you can pull this off?"

“I have friends who want to help me. Not a surprise, considering the…challenges imposed by acquiring enough treasure to fill a treasury,” Fiona stated, and restrained herself from giving this guy any kind of reaction. “So life’s a blast! I have my license, we’re bringing things up to code, it’s all going to work out.”

“No, it’s not.”

And just like that, that confident smirk of hers twitched, and she knew this other shoe probably had been waiting to drop for a while. “You’re not opening the store.” That stern, disapproving face sat in contrast to his normal amused, creepy smirk.

“Okay. Now you need to tell me why.” She folded her arms and narrowed her eyes. “Even Kings can’t just shut down a business, just because they don’t like a person.”

“I don’t just not like you, Fiona; I hate everything you stand for.” She swore she heard Bonnie’s claws tense at that comment, but she remained calm beside her while Barry went on a rant. “You walked in out of nowhere, and solved a problem that my father couldn’t fix. A problem I was more than happy to have occupy his time. And then, you went and smashed a dragon and his army to pieces; now I have to rule, because no one else wanted the seat.”

"That sounds like a pretty terrible reason to hate on someone, Regent King Barrimeth," she offered quietly, before his scowl turned into a snarl.

"You don't get to call me that, Miss Swiftheart. You-you were the charmer of my father! You got Lucy twisted around your finger, you're an utter dear to my mother, and everyone loves you!" She sat through this brat's rant, his eyes filled with raving accusations. "Success follows you around, everywhere you go!"

“No, it doesn't, actually. It might surprise you, but I've tasted bitter defeat, many times." That was something she knew was true--and it was true from her life on Earth, and she ground her teeth to keep to a simmering fury, tops. "Barry, you can't imagine the entirety of my loss I've endured to get here--"

"Fiona," Bonnie warned her, and she notes a subtle dimming of her eyes as she shook her head. Better to be the bigger woman in the room, before she lost her grace, she figured.

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

She gauged the King's reaction, who wore little more than a raised eyebrow. She'd shut his rant down pretty hard, but had she given too much away? "Forgive me, Your Grace. I'm very passionate about my rise, and the work it took to get there. We should all remember the efforts so many of us go through. Even kings have their journey to the seat."

Barry was wearing a press lipped smile. She got to him, and it felt good. "Yes. Some effort must have been expended. So, here's the new assignment. You’ll be working with my current assistant, Miss Glados Hennaway,” he announced, and made a subtle wave to the woman with that hawk-like face. She looked more avian than Nick, who was an avian.

“A pleasure–”

“No, it isn’t.” Bonnie put a hand out to stop Fiona from greeting her, and she wisely took the hint. “Miss Hennaway was in my graduating class in magecraft, too. Except, her specialty is…less than desirable.”

“Oh? Listen to the young little kit bark,” Glados chided with a bubbly laugh, and gave her a dismissive wave. “I assure you, my class has uses.”

“Yeah. To a very few select clientele I’d never do business with, if they were the last people on Cepalune,” Bonnie retorted. “Fiona, I think this demonstration is over, we should go.”

“I concur,” Fiona said, and took Bonnie’s advice instantly. “Listen, King Barry, I have a business to run, and you changing the rules is not cool. You also presume you have power over me, which you don’t,” she finished with a burst of mocking laughter. Bonnie was wearing that anxious smile right about now. “I’m a private citizen! You have no power over me, Goblin King! Oh, wait, sorry, wrong king. That guys on my schedule for next month.”

“While that is technically true, I do have an offer, one that I’m willing to set aside my personal differences with you, Miss Swiftheart.” She laughed even more mockingly.

“King Barry, I’d rather go get eaten by a dragon. I know where one lives, and I’m sure he’d be more than happy to help me, considering the beating I threw at him!” Fiona declared while Bonnie’s ears were still tense, like she was about to bolt. Which was silly, because Barry dismissed all his guards like an idiot; or, he was a man who was fully confident he didn’t need his protection. “There’s nothing you can throw at me, that can make me change my mind–”

“I’ll consider the debt paid in full. I just need six months of your time.” She stopped laughing, and stared blankly at him. That smug smile is back on his face. “Oh, now you’re considering it?”

“Oh, there's some considering going on," she replied calmly. I'm considering which continent your rich ass is gonna land on, by the time you stop falling out of orbit when I smack you with my hammer. She wished she could say that aloud. "You dump a bogus debt on me that no king has enforced in over two hundred years, then pretend you’re offering me an olive branch?"

“I concur. Your father would never have sanctioned–had the audacity–to enforce what’s essentially state-sponsored extortion. There’s a reason that law hasn’t been enforced in a while,” Bonnie added with a curling of her lip. From a kitsune, Fiona knew that was a truly menacing sign that someone better back down.

Barry sat there, still wearing the smug smile. “You’re right, one silver lining out of all of this, is that I get to do what I want. Well, within reason. Now, as for this proposal...I have an opportunity for a business deal with Vale, for enduring trade relations."

Bonnie scoffed instantly. “That kingdom’s a cesspool. Your father knew it, and never did business with them. The last border skirmish was twenty years ago, too recent for many peoples' memories. They’ve been smart to not come crawling back. You would be ill-advised to work with them.”

“Quite frankly, my father didn’t expand into lucrative trade with several kingdoms, for various reasons.” Barry didn’t elaborate. “I want you to lead the negotiations in good faith, Miss Swiftheart, and I’ll call the whole thing paid in full. I'll even offer you a paid position.”

"Okay. Why me?"

"You bested Douglas the red. Your immense strength is quite well known. People respond to strength, Fiona. That's the most important lesson Kings can ever learn. And commoners."

“Fiona, don’t," Bonnie stated with a strained growl. “They don’t respect people’s way of life like they do here. I know people who left there. They were better for it, when they could escape.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice,” Fiona concluded. “Not all strength is physical, Barrimeth. That's a lesson you haven't learned yet. And to drive home the point? No, Your Majesty. Count me out."

She truly caught him off guard, when he recoiled ever so slightly. "What do you mean, 'count me out'?"

"Nein, nay, nix, nyet, would you like another version of 'no' for me to elaborate?" she asked with a smirk. "Whatever you’re going to have me agree to, would probably lead to moral bankruptcy on my part. I can’t be bought like that. Even given the challenges you’ve handed me, I always find a way.”

Barry shook his head, mouth gaping as if still searching for words. “I-I am truly disappointed. Your tax debt is still due in full within the year. I suggest you attend to it, then,” he replied with a yawn.

She’d had enough of that feigned polite attitude. “You don't run the tax office anymore, that decision is out of your hands, Barry, and that office still has to set a date for an audit. Have a good party, don’t call me again.” She turned to leave, and Bonnie was quick to join her.

“Not even going to consider it?” Barry called out, sounding distinctly annoyed. "You're going to turn me down? Even though I'm giving you an out?"

No. Something was off. She turned around, and saw the sneer on his lip, and the desperation in his eyes. First, the way he glanced at her, then at Glados. His voice tense had been significantly higher. She narrowed her eyes and gave him a look of consternation.

“Thought about it. Whatever you have planned, isn’t going to end well for the person carrying it out, so no thanks. I’m just gonna let you know, I’m going to be wearing the biggest, crap-eating grin when I pay off this debt," Fiona stated before she stomped down the flight of stairs. "Assuming I don't find a way to drop your stupid tax to zero, because I'm very good at finding a path to victory."

“You’ll never pay it off, Swiftheart!” he countered. “It’s impossible.” She took a step forward, body edging toward him to the point of getting into his personal space.

"You might have scared me back at the palace, dumping an impossible task on me, and threatening my home and my livelihood. But, I've got friends who have my back, and you underestimate me. Do me a favor, don't ever come to my shop, Barry. King or not, I will fling you into the lake head first, if you do."

She turned to look over her shoulder, and smiled evilly. "By the way, if I do end up paying anything, I’ll pay it all in copper. Good luck lugging that around! Also, tell your dad he owes me and the Adventurer' guild a round of drinks, when he gets back,” she added as she gave him a polite farewell.

"I'm not a messenger! Why do you think my father's ghosting you?" She turned around, seeing that slight smile-- a desperate smile, even. "He hasn't intervened in this. Why do you think that is?"

"I'll ask him when he stops avoiding my calls. Good night, King Barrimeth." She was done listening to this farce of a King, and walked away.

“You might regret this,” Glados called out in a singsong, mocking tone. Fiona also picked up a hushed whisper from Barry, seizing on panic. She knew who wore the pants in that relationship, that was for sure.

“Pretty sure I won’t, future royal pain in my ass!” She called out–she couldn't insult Barry to his face, but his current escort was fair game. "Also, my parting advice? I'm not saving this kingdom again. You're on your own from the next hungry dragon or eldritch horror show. And if Doug shows up for revenge? I might buy his favor by giving him back all his stuff, and tell him who the real thief is!" She laughed. Bonnie tried not to snicker as they left, but she couldn't hold it in.

“I love this more bold version of you,” Bonnie whispered, trying to hide an emerging smile. "Still, there might be fallout. Betcha he'll try to find someone else, or up the pressure on you."

“Nah. He’s skeeving. Skeeves do that. That way, when whatever hare-brained scheme he’s got cooking blows up in his face, he’s got someone to pass the blame to. Classic move from a guy in power, who can’t be seen doing dirty deeds,” Fiona replied, and whirled around her trailing dress for flair. She swore it did spark for a few seconds. “Tell me that was too good a deal to pass up!”

“Well, I think for what it’s worth, you made the right choice. Hennaway is not a nice person.”

“How fitting that she’s with Barry." She pondered over that unusual exchange a moment ago. "Bonnie, let me ask you something. Why does Barry need this deal?"

"You mean, why does he want to do business with that cesspool?"

"No, why does he need this deal?" she insisted. Bonnie followed her cue, and let out a sound of ponderance. "The treasury is low. But it shouldn't be so low, even with the dispute with Douglas. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person he hosed. So, why does he need cash so bad?"

"That...is a really good question, Fiona," Bonnie said before adjusting her dress. "Oh boy, you gonna do some sleuthing? That's not your class."

"When it comes to money, it should be. I made couch coins multiply, every time I wanted take-out! C'mon Bonnie, let’s go have some fun and put on a show for Barry,” Fiona said with a smile. “Time to liven up this party.”

“Oh, boy. Whatcha need?”

“Some flash and glamor.”