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Ch. 83: Shoes of War

“Rum! RUM! RUUUM! Where are you?”

The call came from down below, and Rum and his entourage froze still and listened. When nothing more came, Rum took the lead and hurried over to the stairs. Everyone else followed.

As Rum came lightly jogging down to the next floor, it quickly became obvious that the caller wasn’t here, although his brother Amez looked up from the room’s other end. “Someone’s been calling you” the younger said. Big brother merely gave a quick little nod, and then continued hurrying downwards the next set of stairs. When he rounded the corner near the bottom he slowed abruptly. There, next to the end of the stairs, stood a couple of wizards. Both of their bodies looked rather on the thin side, which was probably why they were straining together to hold up the arms of a barely standing, but weakly conscious, Elrith.

“What’s wrong?” Rum asked, coming down all the way to a halt in front of them.

“It’s your friend” spoke the wizard holding Elrith from her right, “her back started smoking again, and we didn’t know what to do. Everyone thinks she’s about to explode!”

“Will she!?” asked the wizard to her left, his face looking a little terrified.

The adventurer wizard walked down the final steps and grabbed Elrith, taking over for her left side wizard. Even before he could look behind at her back, he saw the hints of smoke rising, and heard her voice, painfully moaning: “Aaaah.” Holding her upright with his left arm alone, he took a step backwards to analyze her backside. There he noticed it – a tiny spot blacker than the vest’s own color. Stepping forward to analyze her face closer, he saw that she’d been sweating. She had her eyes open now, it seemed, but barely so. She looked hazy, dissy, and focused on nothing but the pain.

“Let’s bring her to a table” The Great Mage suggested, and together they held her up as they walked across the room to the nearest big desk. “Clear it, please!” Rum requested, and the two wizards together with Bresh and Bun hurried to remove books, scrolls, and inkwells. Rum tried to first bring Elrith to the table, and have her lean over it so that her bum was pointing outwards and her torso rested with her arms and head on the wooden surface. When he thus tried to let go of her however, she immediately started to lose control of her legs, and began sliding and then accelerating towards the floor. Rum gripped her before she could fully fall down, and quickly decided upon a different strategy. “On the table you go” he muttered, and took her in his arms, lifting her up on the table, and gently rolling her onto her belly. Luckily you’re so short the table fits you, mostly. Her head dangled over the side from the one end, and her feet across the other. But she remained still as can be.

“Do you know what to do?” asked one of the wizards who’d brought her.

“Should we summon the skeletons!?” asked Bresh, equally worried and excited.

“Not necessary this time. I have a plan.” Rum glanced towards Bresh. “Can you go to the iron door and hold the testing room open?” The woman began hurrying over. “Also” Rum said after her, “be ready to close it.” He paused momentarily, giving Elrith’s entire body a glance across. “Okay-then” he muttered, as Elrith’s eyes wandered over to weakly stare at him. They looked pleading, sort-of, in that kind of plea that only eyes can deliver after facial muscles have all been expended in pained grimaces.

“Magic Shoe” Rum conjured, and a pair fell into his hands. He put one shoe down out of the way at the side of the table, because he needed only one. “Let’s see if I can repeat this” he mumbled, and he got to work.

He knew, or at least mostly remembered, how he’d opened the enchantment at Elrith’s back so that excess magic could seep out. He also largely remembered how he’d made magic enter into the shoe during the battle. Putting these two different experiences into one joint singular practice now became his one, great experiment.

With time less urgent than before though, Rum took the time to cast “Clear Mind” on himself, and switched into the ethereal world to work on an interface between the two magical constructs. It took him about 3 minutes of systematic thinking and calm labor to set it up, meanwhile the room remained in variable terror. A few of his new apprentices, perhaps not overly confident of their teacher’s attitude, moved with stealthy increments towards the exit door. When Rum though, at last, raised his head from the shoe and glanced about, these apprentices stopped in place, standing at attention like they’d never even moved a centimeter trying to escape catastrophy. “It’s done” he announced to everyone. Then, for a brief moment, he turned back to Elrith, leaned back in, and with a tug of his magic – cut open the body enchantment.

The flood of magic was instant, like a crack in a partially breached dam, it came with a torrental force. A torrent of magic. In no time at all, the shoe filled up, and abrutply Rum had to haphazardly seal the enchantment and close up the shoe. Turning away from the table and to his left, his eyes fixed on the open iron door. He took one, first step. Then two, and then he was speed-walking over towards the wide open doorframe. “Bomb coming through!” he announced, and Bresh stood at full attention, readily holding the handle of the door. As the wizard came within a meter of the doorstep, he simply hurled the shoe inside. Then he quickly grabbed the iron door handle out of Bresh’s hands, and swung it shut. He turned the key to a CLICK!, and, in the nick of time – stepped away.

A millisecond passed of breaths readied, and hearts ready to beat with furiosity.

VROOOAAAMMM!

An animated wave of motion rippled across the iron door and the mountain walls, as if the distortions of reality they’d all witnessed prior were trying to escape out and into their room. A CRACK! sounded, and a deep wound stretched along the vertical axis of the metal door. Chills of fright burst across the backs of every witness. A powerful and vibrant soundwave was heard from inside. Luckily it remained but a loud annoyance this time, dampened as it were by the door and walls. Lights spewed from the crack and the tiny doorframe gaps in the metal. However, nothing completely blinding came through. Everyone took a step back. By the time their feets had finished that step though, the distortions of reality were already coming to a close. And then, as suddenly as the signs of dangerous, twisting magic had arrived – it all simply ended.

“Phew” Bresh let out first. “Do you guys see that crack!” she pointed. “That had me seriously worried for a second!”

“I–” Larkoff began quietly, and then gulped, his face bleak, “–I feel like we were lucky.” Larkoff stood further away than any of the others and almost adjacent to the exit door. This man hadn’t been betting on luck, even if he welcomed it.

“Heh” Soren burst out, “that’s a fine trick you have there teacher. What’s it called?”

Rum turned around to look at the man. “I haven’t named it yet. But I suppose it’s a shoe, and it’s kind-of a bomb, at least after it has absorbed magic it is. So I suppose it’s a shoe bomb?” He looked uncertain as he thought about the potential name.

“Some bomb though” Soren smiled. “Could you teach that spell to us?”

“It’s not a spell” Rum put a hand to his cheek, trying to think of how he should explain this. “The shoe itself, that’s a simple spell, but the bomb part? It’s rather difficult to teach.” His hands moved to stroke his moustache and beard. “Not even sure if it’s possible within a reasonable amount of time. But either way, it’s not something I can impart onto you, at least not in the way you’re used to learning spells. Don’t worry about that now though. I will explain how my magic works in due time. When we get back to the city.”

“I can hardly wait!” Soren’s smile broadened, and Rum, seeing his beaming face, produced a simple smile of his own, as well as a little nod.

“But that does bring me to an idea” Rum turned away from his apprentice, looking towards Elrith, who was currently lying sideways resting on the desk. “I should make that into a spell, shouldn’t I?” A momentary pause followed.

“Well, if everything’s in order here, we’ll be going back to the others then” said one of the two wizards who’d carried Elrith, and the pair soon disappeared out the door.

A witch, one of Amez’s spectators, came down the stairs wondering about the boom. Rum gave the woman the quick explanation, and she proceeded to head back up to his little brother. As the woman walked up the stairs, meanwhile, Rum put his hands on Elrith and injected her with another dose of “Trinity of Healing”. He watched her body calm and her eyes open more fully. She slowly sat up on the desk, giving him a look.

“I’m so, so...” she sighed. “So very done being used for magic protection.” She reached out and put a hand to his shoulder. “Please, from now on: I’m no longer your shield. Okay?”

Rum reached out besides her for the other magic shoe he hadn’t used. He lifted it up before them both. “You’re no longer the shield” he smiled. “This, I think, this’ll be the shield now.”

She raised an eyebrow, but didn’t ask. Maybe she’s come to just accept everything about me, Rum wondered briefly. The party leader pushed herself off the desk, and looked to the apprentices. “Could one of you show me the way back to the others?”

Meti, who’d been a silent spectator to all that’d been going on, volunteered to lead the adventurer. Meanwhile Rum remained, pulling up a chair to the desk. He told everyone that he was going take some time to craft a new spell, and that if anyone needed him, they’d find him here, working. His apprentices all wanted to stay and watch, however it soon became clear that watching him work mostly involved looking at their teacher as he stared blankly into the air, all-consumed by internal processes. Gradually they left, one after the other. Larkoff and Bun went upstairs to look at Amez working, and the others left to look at the artifacts. In the end, only Soren remained to study Rum as the latter seemed to concentrate with eyes closed on something inside himself, muttering inaudible phrases every now and then. At some point Rum did cast a spell, a piece of blue translucent magic, and Soren’s attention swelled, his entire focus rallying to watch intently. But Rum said nothing to Soren, just barely opened his eyes, and only to soon close them again, the spell vanishing without any explanation. As the hour neared, Soren increasingly grew bored. He took to looking through some of the library’s books, sitting on a desk not far from Rum, giving the other intermittent glances in-between his own reading.

Time passed. One hour. One and a half.

Soren was wrapped in his book by the time Rum, finally, opened his eyes. The bald wizard turned to look around, and found the room devoid of people – except for Soren.

“I have it” Rum spoke softly, startling Soren from his book. The apprentice took half a second to realize who’d been speaking, before turning sideways to Rum, an uncertain smile starting to form the apprentice’s own face. “The spell is done” Rum explained.

“It is?” Soren’s tone was almost disbelieving. “You finished already?”

“Yes” Rum nodded.

“May – may I see it?”

Rum nodded again, softly, and stood up from his chair, stretching his back a bit from all the sitting. Back-stretching done, he reached forth with both his hands, putting them roughly side by side, and opening his palms with fingers curled, as if to grab something. Rum’s lips motioned to pronounce the spell.

“Devouring Shoes!”

In front of the wizard’s face, out of the thin air, two dark shapes warped into being, their morphologies rapidly advancing every succeeding millisecond until, in front of Rum, a pair of solid black walking shoes had been created. Promptly the pair fell, down into the wizards’ seizing hands. As Soren stared at the things, he noticed that gone was the blue color from before, and that thinness, the translucency. This pair, they had the same shape as those former shoes, but all see-throughness was absent. Rather, the shoes appeared like an utter opposite extreme, absorbing all the light, so much so that even the hands and robes of the wizard appeared to take on a greyish hue just from proximity.

Soren’s eyes bulged, his face awing.

“Wanna see them in action?” Rum asked.

Soren nodded fervently, both excited and maybe a little nervous at what he saw.

“Alright, cast a spell upon me. You know, that spell you all tried to kill me with earlier today. I’ll block it.”

“You mean Witch Lightning, teacher?” Soren raised an eyebrow, eyeing the shoes of darkness.

“That one, yes. Try to hit me with it.”

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

Soren eyed the shoes for a little while longer, but eventually he reached for the wand in his robe’s pocket. He brought the stick up and pointed it at Rum, and with a little grimace of uncertainty, began speaking the spell. “Rithir, Tauthor, Dyn.”

ZAP! went the lightning bolt from the stick, and lightning sped towards Rum at the speed of, well, lightning. Soren had been aiming for his teacher’s legs, and was surprised when the arc of lightning bent upwards – striking the left outreached black shoe instead. For half a second the arc attacked the surface, then it ceased, all of its power spent. The shoe, meanwhile, took on a faint little red glow.

Rum smiled at the result. “Notice the red” he lifted the left shoe up, indicating it. “It’s a little feature I thought of. When the red is strong, it means I should throw the shoe. When it’s faint like now, it means it will safely dissipate over time into the surrounds, without exploding. Of course, I’ll have to field test this and maybe alter the spell’s parameters a little, but if all goes well–“ he gently threw the shoe up and caught it as it came down. Soren had a brief heart-attack at that. “–I now have a new anti-magic spell.” He put the black shoes down upon the table, gesturing to them. “You can inspect the shoes if you want. Otherwise, I’ll just let them sit here until the magic dissipates and both shoes expire. The left shoe will probably vanish in a day and a half, by my account. The originals had a duration of two and half a day before they’d expire, so the right will probably last at least two days. Absorbing magic is bound to reduce the duration on the left.” He patted the left shoe thinkingly, forcing Soren’s eyes to stare at the shoes, least they burst into VROAM then and there.

“I’m done for now” Rum said, “I’ll go check out above and then I plan to head back and see what the rest of the people are doing. You coming or staying?”

Soren had to look at the shoes for a serious pause, eventually answering: “Staying.”

Rum nodded, and proceeded by himself for the stairs to check in on his brother first.

As the rest of the day progressed, Rum went back to the kitchen together with all the other mages, Darmon and Amez included. There, with the large group of mages lead by Glarith, they got together to form a plan. It was getting late, and the adventurers began to want to return back to their camp. As for the resident mages, the dwarves, who’d been otherwise holed up in kitchen pantry and surrounded by barrels upon barrels of mead, they reminded everyone through their drunken haze that there was in fact an army marching upon the dungeon, and perhaps continuing their dungeon residency was not such a good idea.

However, before anyone was inclined to do anything about that particular problem, there was of course the question of the loot. There was a considerable amount of treasure left after Jorteg. Yet, nobody quite knew what to do with it now. Rum’s surprising twist of events had upended everything and anything anyone knew about the customs for dungeon spoils.

So, inside that great space, through the metal door that Elrith had blown up earlier that day, and in front of the spot where Darmon had been electrocuted, they all gathered in an assembly. In a corner here beside the stairs, the dwarves sat on each of their barrel, cheerily drinking mead from tankards, and looking out across to the other people. In the midst of the room, meanwhile, there was the piles of gold, the chests of scrolls and finery, the stacks of magic books, and the rows and columns of artifacts lined up on the ground. Surrounding all this treasure in turn, were most other adventurers and mages of the dungeon, chatting with each other, and eyeing the treasure with speculative glimpses and gazes.

Everyone was gathered now. We only need someone to start speaking, Rum thought, as he mentally volunteered by stepping out of the crowd, and up the stairs to the lowest landing, just high enough to be seen by everyone on the ground. Except for the dwarves, but they’re too drunk to pay much attention anyways, he reasoned. For a moment, he stood there, looking out across the crowd. Then, he opened his mouth, and shouted. “The way I see it–” he began loudly, and across the room everyone gradually quieted, “–the people who worked for Jorteg, who slaved for Jorteg, and were mistreated by him under his employ – these people deserve some of this treasure.” He gestured with a single hand down towards the piles and stacks in their midst. “For their home, is here” he gestured up now to the cavernous room, “this is your home” his arms reached out air the air to Glarith and the others, “and even if this treasure was largely not begotten by righteous ways – Jorteg was a dungeon lord after all, and a warlord – its distribution should nevertheless bare some righteousness in the here and the now.”

None inside the mountain interior uttered a sound. Not a protest. Not an agreement. The crowd was pretty much muted, anticipating perhaps a but, while many faces looked like they were trying to think on Rum’s words.

“Us adventurers came here for the treasure, of course.” The mage on the landing continued. “But what right do we have of it? Does anyone here–” Rum turned to each of his party members, who were a little spread out amongst the crowd, “–wish to claim treasure merely because it belonged to an enemy? Is it right of us to take it, merely because we defeated the one who formerly possessed it?”

None of the adventurers spoke up. Not a sound, though Elrith had a weird grimace on her face, and the other adventurers too looked at least a little uneasy as to where this monologue was heading. Gilda and Rulli in the corner of the room both grabbed a hand to each of their barrels of mead, as if fearing they’d be taken from them anytime soon. Still, not a word was spoken.

“I–“ Rum was about to continue, but was promptly cut off.

“I suggest an even split!” The voice had come from Bun. The witch, who was a little on the younger side, early twenties like Veish, stood forth and blushed in anticipation of all the attention being redirected from Rum up high, down to her below. “I think that’d be most fair. An even split, across everyone. Each person. We who are of the dungeon might have more basic claim to it, because we live here and worked for the one who collected it. Yet we didn’t come here for the treasure. We came to learn magic. W-w-we” she stuttered, briefly mumbling the word, even while Gay Aura still affected her, “w-we didn’t come for treasure! But the adventurers did. However, the adventurers have no claim to it, either. Not even after Teacher Rum defeated Jorteg.” She glanced up at Rum, her face almost apologetic. “Might does not make right” she turned back to the crowd of her people, “in that Jorteg was wrong. I know that now in my heart, somehow. Maybe it’s the magic of The Teacher at works here, but in my heart, I does say that might does not make right. In truth, nobody has a claim to this treasure” the woman stared at the glittering piles of gold at the center of them all, and glanced towarsd the rows and columns of artifacts and enchanted items displayed adjacently. “People have died for this treasure to be gathered. People have suffered. And in that even our basic claim loses its sense of right. In the end, this treasure belongs to noone. And therefore, also, I believe it belongs to everyone.” She abruptly stopped speaking. She stepped back into the crowd, and her head cast down as if to avoid the gazes of the others. It’d been more than enough attention for, for a while.

“The girl speaks wisdom” Glarith spoke. “This treasure belongs to nobody. But I think, that since the adventurers came here for the treasure” the woman directed her eyes to Elrith, whose face briefly perked up with guilty hope, “I think we can let them get the first pick of treasure, at least. Maybe we call it the reward for getting rid of Jorteg. At the time of his death, I briefly believed that maybe you had wronged us. But even as I thought that, I got reminded who our former dungeon lord was. And now, I feel thankful, and I think that in the future: I might feel even more thankful.”

“Just don’t take my favourite book” mumbled a wizard at Glarith’s side. His eyes looked with slight worry right to the middle of a stack of magic books. Clearly there was a particular book he had in mind there.

“I think that’d be only fair” Rum responded from up high. “If we adventurers should have first pick, then we shouldn’t be taking anything of personal or sentimental value to the resident mages. Anything of mere instrumental value is fair game, but nothing that is already being used, have long been sought to be used, or which carries important memories for any of you.” Rum looked around into the assembled faces. “Does the things that’ve been said so far resonnate with people? Do we have a consensus, as to what should be done with the treasures?” he gestured with open arms at the gathered for confirmation.

“Everyone” Glarith said, “raise your hand if you agree.” She raised her own. “And speak, if you have an objection.”

Nobody objected. The decision was unison.

A quick discussion followed thereafter as to the two pieces of treasure Rum had already acquired, and the tattoo instrument which Amez had acquired. Nobody objected when a witch suggested that Rum and Amez should be able to keep these as their first picks. And as the adventurers went around and searched and found their first pickings, the first round ended after some time, and the dungeon mages made their picks of a piece of treasure each. Lastly they divided up the hoard of money, leftover magic items, potions, rare ingredients, magic books, spare weapons, and artifacts. All on a roughly equal basis. In the end, there was enough for everyone. Excluding the resell value of a few artifacts from the first round, nobody became very rich, but most became at least a little rich for the moment. The kind of rich that’d give a person a few months of a leisurely life along with a few new luxuries or useful belongings in their life, or alternatively enough to start a small shop if they wanted to. Not that anyone was inclined towards that at the moment.

The dwarves meanwhile, had to be practically dragged from their mead barrels to get them to pick an artifact for themselves.

“I’M NOT DRUNK!” Rulli barked at Elrith as she tried to pull him over. “I’m Rulli of The Hammered Clan! Second generation emigre of The Axe Mountains! I can drink any of you twice under the table before I get DRUNK!” A few merry wizards and witches, who’d joined the dwarves in their corner of alcoholic plenty, murmured “yeah”-s and “go dwarf!” at the sight of the stand-off.

“Just think about the choices you’re making” Elrith told the totally-not-drunk yet obviously swaying dwarf, as well as his nearby barely standing wife. “You’re both picking a powerful artifact, this is the choice of a lifetime! Sure you’re not going to do it 110% sober, just to be sure?”

That speech shut the dwarf up, and after a burp, and then two, he finally lamented. And so, as one totally-not-drunk surrendered to the light of reason, the other totally-not-drunks soon followed.

Next, getting these people to pick their treasures involved having to detoxify them with “Filter Body”, something that produced a bit of irritation in the subjects who’d much preferred their totally-not-drunken states. Naturally, when their pickings were done, these same dwarves and mages, man and woman, wizards and witches, all got right back to their barrels, even rolling out a third and fourth barrel all the way from the pantry, just as their two present barrels began to empty.

Of all the artifacts that were chosen among Rum’s people, which now included his brother, the adventurers, as well as six apprentices, the selected artifacts for each person came to as follows:

Rum: The Puppy-Sleep Bracelet (transformation to puppy with protective enchanting aura while asleep), and a Moon-Hailer Potion (drinking allows a moment of conversation with Trivli).

Amez: The Inkwalker (tattoo needle instrument which automatically pierces the skin to inject ink, automatically sterilizes itself, and has an endless supply of black ink).

Elrith: The Quivering Quiver (arrows and crossbow bolts residing in this quiver become enchanted with a fear-inducing spell, with the spell gaining strength the longer the missiles stay in the quiver).

Darmon: Firetip (a spear that blasts out powerful fire at any target its tip strikes), and The Slutmaker Breastplate (a stylish breastplate that enchants any people who strike at it with handheld weapons, causing them to have drastically reduced animosity and greatly increased attraction towards the wearer for the next day – asexual people are immune to this effects).

Gilda: The Gauntlets of Reserve (a pair of fine light gauntlets that can conjure temporary handaxes into the hands of the wearer), and The Blinding Vambraces (shines a burst of bright white light towards the source of a weapon attack when struck, including projectile attacks, but not enemy spells).

Rulli: The Tiny Hammer (a one-handed warhammer that handily shrinks to the size of a fist and loses equally as much weight whenever the user needs it to, such as while transporting, while also growing back up to size and full weight whenever the user needs it to, like in combat).

Soren: Shadows’ Marathon (a ring that allows the user to traverse at running speeds any shadows as part of the shadow itself, and to do so at enormous distances before the mana capacity is expended), and a Scroll of Celestial Banishment (allows the user to once cast the spell Celestial Banishment, a spell that requires one to point at a creature, thereby teleporting the target to the furthest away point on Aclima, the exact opposite side of the planet’s surface to the user).

Bun: The Robe of Mandatory Vacation (contains the built-in spell Mandatory Vacation, which teleports a person of the mage’s choosing into the middle of a vast ocean on Aclima, onto a tropical island paradise with a small population dedicated to servicing whowever is banished there by the spell, until those people are promptly returned by the same spell to their prior spot exactly one week later).

Larkoff: The Geriatric Ring (contains the built-in spell Geriatric Curse, causing an old person for the next day to suffer hugely increased weaknesses associated with their age, such as pains and aches, forgetfulness, and a sensitivity to heat and cold), and a Potion of Second Chances (within at most 7 days after drinking, and triggerable up to 3 times in that period, when the user’s health falls below 100, the potion will heal the user for up to 1000 health, and grant them an hour of +50 luck).

Meti: Magebreaker’s Wand (contains 3 built-in spells for defeating other mages: Barrier Ram, which when channelled gradually wears down simple enemy magical barriers; Forgotten Wand, which teleports an enemy’s wand back near the absolute location in space that it was a few minutes earlier; and Mana-Waste, which curses the target to spend a third more mana casting each of their spells for the next hour).

Farklend: Woof The Book (a sentient magical spellbook for intermediate magic, when read and properly cared for it eventually becomes a mage’s loyal friend, capable of autonomously or on request casting spells through its own magic pool and with its wide range of contained spells).

Bresh: The Super-Sonic Broom (allows the user to fly safely at super-sonic speeds by encasing the user in a protective shield at high speeds).

Luckily Jorteg had kept a diary detailing all of his many artifacts, as well as his apprentices having learned their effects by either witnessing or being the target of experiments with them. Rum’s circle of friends and colleagues was now an arsenal of various artifacts.

Considering the many potions and magic books we get to bring with us, we truly are equipped for a challenge, Rum observed, as his people stood in a crowd inspecting their weapons, rings, and book, and half-way fighting to peak into Jorteg’s journal for information.

As the evening finally arrived, and tiredness from the day started to creep over all of them though, and all of the mages and adventurers decided to gather up the loot as best as they could. Loose items were put into bags and small chests, and Glarith rounded up and took control over the whole army of skeletons, setting them to carrying all the valuables, including lots of food (and in the case of the dwarves: barrels upon barrels of mead) to the camp outside. Mages and adventurers went in front of the skeletons, carrying only their own new artifacts and in the case of the adventurers, their gear from before. The long, long line stretched across the tunnels of the dungeon as they walked towards the surface.

“I wonder” Rum thought out loud, his torch held up in-front of all of them, “how will our gnome react to the sight of us all?” Ahead, at the end of the tunnel, a moonlit Forest of Ermos came into view, and as Rum thought of the gnome, his thoughts felt tired, and they drifted. What a long day it has been.