Exhausted as he was, Rum still put all he had into the spell.

He was going to turn this room gay. Profoundly gay. Extremely gay even. Gayer than a hallway full of mecha-gnomes smacking each other’s bare butts. Gayer than an awe-struck mage begging to be dressed up as a cute little bear. For in this moment, the lives of him and everyone else here depended on the sheer magnitude of gayness he could emit and cover his surroundings with. To the tensions he could release with laughter, to the love of life and expression and comraderie that he could summon. To the hearts he could break open and expose again to the world, and to those affections that would follow from this return to an unafraid, unguarded, primal and immediate love. To that free love for oneself, and for those of whom one share the world with. This was the potential of his magic, and he could make it all happen, if only he had enough of the gay.

All the way down Rum’s body sprang forth rivers of outpouring magic. A flood of magic in gold and yellow, running across the cavern floor in every direction where its substance sought out targets. Upon seeing the magic coming for them, the witches and wizards panicked, and several stumbled, falling over onto their butts, or into each other, causing yet others in turn to stumble.

“WHAH!” jumped one wizard.

“AEEEH!” screamed a witch.

“What is that!?” said another slightly calmer wizard, before realizing there was not enough time to wait for a reply.

A few mages had the snap idea to run, but their movement speed on foot was not enough to outrun this spell, as the gold and yellow misty magic running across the floor seemed to pick up speed to reach them fastest of all.

As the first few mages experienced their feet, and then legs, and then torso being wrapped up in the magic, their desperations ran wild, and they ran about like headless chickens, yelling for the head witch or whichever nearest mage they could find to protect them, or neutralize the spell, or dispell it completely. The head witch of course tried. She started furiously mumbling and then casting spell, after spell, after spell. 3 different spells she tried. Perhaps that was all the relevant ones she knew, but as each one failed in turn she turned to Rum – and had one last, angry idea.

“You might be able to absorb magic, mage, but can you absorb the motions of the wind!?” she mumbled a spell and summoned a hard gust of wind towards Rum. The spell struck him and threw him across the floor and into a bunch of mages, who all were knocked over and to the sides by the impact of his body. Spread around on the floor, those same mages spared no time getting up however, but seized the oppportunity of proximity to start beating him and kicking him ferociously, trying to force him to stop his spell by sheer blunt trauma. Rum reacted quickly by putting his hands on his head to protect it, and pulled his legs up and leaned forward to turn himself into a smaller, denser target for their weak but collectively many strikes. Being so close to Rum though, each individual mage could only get a couple of punches or kicks in before the spell started crawling up their bodies too, and suddenly they were too distracted by the overpowering magic to keep harassing him.

“Heeey” an unfamiliar and confused female voice suddenly spoke. “I feel strange. But, good?”

With no more fists or boots seeming to come for him, Rum dared to glimpse his surrounding, and there he saw their faces. The witches and wizards in dark red robes and pointy hats had all more or less begun to calm down. As he quickly looked around more to ascertain whether somebody would come for him, he saw that nobody were. And that was really, really important too, because with him having been thrown away from Elrith, he no longer had the direct connection to her body and tattoo necessary to protect himself from offensive spells. Just in time... It worked. Just in time. Relief rushed through him, lowering his racing heartbeat, and ever so slightly also the acuteness and steel of his all too scared mind, which began melting away. He hadn’t quite realized it, but his mind had secretly been preparing for him to fail and to die there, in that moment. Instead: the magic of love had won.

“This... hah” smiled a wizard. “Haha. Hahahah!” The wizard laughed. “What were we doing!?”

Suddenly many of the other wizards and witches started laughing and smiling with him.

“Oh gods of magic, I feel tired” spoke another. This man, old enough to have a proper beard the length of his hand, leaned forward on his knees, breathing in and out as if having just ran a sprint. In a metaphorical way he had, of course. The sprint to kill Rum. But he was gay now, and so as Rum stood up and glanced at him, feeling just as tired, while all that memory of the other wizard’s attempted murder quickly vanished into forgiveness and forgetness. Rum was more concerned about what his post-idea should be. For he had, in fact, no plan past this point. He’d turned the followers of Jorteg gay, but what should he do with them now? Then he remembered the people who hadn’t survived the confrontation as well as he had. He glanced over at Elrith. He ran towards her, and quickly knelt down, touching the shoulder of her deadlike unconscious body, left to lie on the cavern floor.

“Trinity of Healing!” He tried to cast the magic, but realized he was all empty. He breathed heavily, and an even heavier concern suddenly formed about his party members. “I need mana” he said. Then he remembered that someone had been drinking mana potions. He nearly jumped to his feet, so strong was his sense of urgency. “I NEED A MANA POTION!” he shouted to the gathered magic gays.

“Mana potion?” a young wizard said. “Why, I got one right here.” He fished one out from a sidepocket in his robe, and held it out smilingly to Rum, who marched over, took it, and chugged it down with haste. The taste was awful. Rum had only tasted a few mana potions in his whole life, but he felt pretty sure that this one was of unusually poor quality. It tasted of dust and... is that soot? It was like it’d been brewed in a dirty, rusty, never-cleaned-before, old cauldron. His face scrunched up in distaste as he quickly stepped back over to Elrith.

“Trinity of healing” he muttered. A green little lightshow erupted about her body. But Rum didn’t stop. He looked over at the bodies of Amez, Rulli, Gilda, and Darmon. He rushed over to Amez first, casting the spell. “Trinity of Healing!” Next Rulli, and Darmon, those who hadn’t shown any signs of life yet. As his magic took hold of each in turn, the sounds of breathing became visible on Rulli’s chest, and an audible breathing came from Darmon’s helmet. For good measure Rum pulled off the latter’s helmet, giving the warrior better air circulation to his lungs. Lastly he came over and cast the spell on Gilda. He stood up from her unconscious form and watched each one of them, recovering with speed, though it still took some time before any one of them moved much.

Surprisingly perhaps, the first one to move wasn’t Elrith, lying back over at the other end among the witches and wizards in half-darkness, but his brother Amez, who brought a hand to his own face, touching his forehead. Rum stepped over to his little brother.

“How do you feel, brother?” Rum knelt down on a knee.

Amez took a couple of seconds to answer. “How do I feel?” He breathed a couple of times, then his eyes opened slowly, and he equally slowly leaned up to a sitting position on the rocky floor. The green light of magic was fading away from his body, as if finishing up its work. His facial expression looked slightly confused. “I don’t know.” Then he smiled some. “I feel good, I think.” He looked along the length of his own body. “Though I don’t know why. And it feels like I just had a terrible moment. I was really weak, but now I’m not anymore, and I don’t feel the pain, and I’m not scared either.” His eyes moved up to lock with Rum’s, and his smile grew wider. “You did this, yeah?”

Rum nodded. The wizard reached out a hand to his brother, who grabbed it, and was pulled up by the older brother’s exceedingly strong and unnatural muscles. Amez, standing, took a long stare at his brother Rum, smiling at him as if recalling a wonderful memory. “Thank you” Amez said, and then spontaneously hugged his older brother. Rum gave a little hug in return, and rubbed at Amez’ back lightly. Amez took a long inward breath just before releasing Rum. “This is” his gaze was distant, “so strange. Aren’t we in a battle?” They met eyes again.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

“Battle’s over.” Rum looked over to the gayified mages. “We’re friends now. Or, we can be at least. You should go over and meet them.” He patted Amez’ back as his little brother stared at the witches and wizards in wonder, and then followed Rum’s suggestion and stepped across the room to them.

Next to sit up was Gilda, and after that Rulli woke up. However, instead of sitting, the dwarf man simply lay there, looking thoughtful and a little confused. Gilda leaned over him. “How are you, Honeywine?” She spoke to him softly, putting a gentle hand to an unarmored place at his chest. He was looking up at her, mouth open in wonder. Then his expression softened, like his wife, and became a warm, blushing smile. “As fine as the sun looking down at me” he said, grasping her hand on his chest with his right hand, before raising his left up to stroke his wife’s cheek and up to her ear. Rum understood that they had their thing going on so he went over to look closer at Darmon’s still form instead.

The human man was similar to how Rulli had been, just lying there and looking up into the cavern ceiling with an openly wondering expression on his face.

“Feeling okay?” Rum asked.

“Weird” Darmon said, without eye-contact or elaboration. When Rum waited a few seconds and got no replies, he shrugged and turned, looking over at the gathering of witches and wizards and Amez talking and laughing and chatting like they’d all suddenly come together for a festive party.

He stepped over to join them.

“Oh I was so scared when he got up again!” a wizard spoke to a witch.

“But now” she replied back, fully engaged in their conversation, “it’s like it never really happened. Or, like we were all really silly to be scared of him?”

“Well I did take away one of your witches” Rum moved into the conversation. “The head witch, I don’t know what she’s called, but–” he gestured over to where the head witch was standing, all alone, staring into nothing as if deep in thought, and looking more confused than even Darmon, “–she said we kidnapped Veish. What do you think?” He looked at the witch in front of him.

“Well...” she responded. “I’m sure you had a good reason? Or...” she gave the wizard a longer look, “... why? Why did you take Veish away? Is she okay?” It was the most casual question she could’ve asked towards the captor of her fellow witch.

“It was a spur of the moment thing” Rum replied back with equal casualness. “As I recall, you were trying to murder us, and we were a bit stuck. So we needed someone who knew the way out. And capture was preferable to harming her” Rum explained. “I don’t really like hurting people, especially not in any way permanent. I prefer it if we can all just sort this whole war out differently: with a spirit of beneficial cooperation and mutual care for each other.”

The witch raised her eyebrows in mild astonishment. “I like that. I think?” she suddenly frowned a little, eyes searching the air, then she looked up again with more determination. “No, I definitely like that idea. I don’t think I would’ve thought much of the idea a moment ago, but right now that sounds like how it should be. Yeah.” She was nodding to herself in affirmation, thinking about it.

“I also think I like it” nodded the wizard, who had a little thin moustache under his lips, and was probably in his early thirties. “How is she doing by the way, our Veish?” He looked up into Rum’s eyes, speaking to him as if Veish was just a little busy with work, and Rum was her colleague, or boyfriend, or something similar.

“She’s settling in” Rum replied, “I think she is taking to the city. Slowly, but yeah. I think she might stay there, voluntarily I mean. We did of course bring her there without her will, but I’ve been teaching her a bit of magic, and let her meet some new people, and I think she might want to stay. Although technically she’s still a captive. But–” Rum shook his head, “–we don’t keep her in a prison or anything. She has plenty of opportunity to flee if she properly wants to. She just haven’t wanted to yet I believe.”

“Oh” the wizard replied. “That is good to hear. We were a bit worried, I mean I didn’t know her much myself, but it’s been long since any of us have been in such danger as you brought. We thought she might be dead! But she’s actually in good health it sounds like.”

“The best” Rum replied with a smile, and gave the former enemy wizard’s shoulder a light patting. The other wizard smiled broadly at that.

“Now I feel very good!” The other wizard announced. “Very excited! Why do I feel so excited? It’s like the future is open to us” he glanced into the blue, as if wondering about the endless possibilities of the future.

Rum heard a couple of witches behind him start to sing. Sing like the way you’d expect from a couple of merry drunk women. It was a silly song, about a man named Jolly, who apparently was into a lot of different folly. The choir grew from 2 to 3, and then to 4, and finally 5. Together 5 witches stood, holding each other by the shoulders, forming a line of singers who laughed and sung and were more merry than you’d see people late in the evening of a harvest festival.

Somewhere else, a couple of witches were passionately making out and touching each other’s breasts and holding each other’s waists, heedless of the present company. Not far from them, a wizard and witch were doing something similar. The gay power was in the air, working at its fullest.

A bunch of wizards and witches suddenly flocked over to Rum, coming at him with meaningful stares of excited eyes. “What is your name, Great Mage?” the first witch among them asked as the flock stopped in front and formed a half-circle around him.

“Rum” he answered plainly.

“Oh, Great Mage Rum, I heard you take apprentices! Would you take us as apprentices!? Do you have a lair? A dungeon?”

“Uh” Rum responded, looking across the 8 or more waiting, smiling faces. He put a hand to his beard, stroking it in thought. “I’m not a dungeon lord.”

A couple of faces looked momentarily disappointed, before some excitement returned.

“But you have a lair, right?” the front witch pressed. “A place we could stay and be your apprentices?”

“I’m not in the business of collecting apprentices” he shook his head. “Not at the moment at least.”

Their heads sunk a little.

“But maybe... later?” she bit her lip at him, eyes pleading hopefully.

He shrugged. “The future is many things, and most of all it is open and full of possibilities. Me getting more apprentices is one of them, yes.”

“Thank you!” she said, her smile broadening, before she stepped back and the semi-circle broke off and they all huddled together to talk about something he couldn’t hear.

“Hmf” Rum produced, looking at them. He eventually moved his eyes away to see the old head witch come striding over to him. “Hey” he said, just before she stopped in front of him, looking slightly unsure of herself, though at least friendly. When she didn’t immediately start the conversation, Rum started for her. “My name is Rum, if you didn’t know. May I have your name?”

She nodded. “I am Glarith.” She stood there silent for a couple of seconds, before she continued. “I was so determined to kill you, I was so surprised when you survived, but... now I don’t want to kill you anymore. I just want to know: why are you here?”

“Oh.” Rum was taken aback by that question. “Hmm” he put his hand to his beard and stroked it. “I suppose I am here to improve myself, get a bit of money, to best your dungeon.” He glanced around at the walls, and the gathered witches, and noted the skeletons at the far other end still blocking the tunnel they’d come from. “Why haven’t they attacked?” he pointed at them.

She looked over at the skeletons, briefly. “They are the trap we set for you.” She looked back. “I could command them to kill you now, but I don’t want to, I think. Because you aren’t a threat?” She said it out loud as if she didn’t entirely believe it.

“We’re not fighting” Rum said, spreading his arms out to gesture at the festive atmosphere. “They’re certainly not” he pointed to the couple of witches, probably in their early twenties, making out. They’d both lost their hats to the floor at this point, and one of them was busy kissing along the neck of the other.

“They are lovers, I knew” Glarith commented looking at the couple. “But it is an odd thing for them to act like lovers out here with us.” She stared back at Rum. “You want money, and to best the dungeon. Does that not mean you come here to steal from us, and to attack our people?” She raised an eyebrow. “My mind tell me that is not what you intend, but how else can your intentions be understood?”

“Huh” Rum let out. “I suppose that we were coming to take your things” he admitted, “and I suppose I was expecting you to attack us, so I would have the chance to best you, and to learn from the struggle of besting you. But I don’t want to hurt you if you have no intentions of hurting me or the people of Ermos. We came here to meet a foe who wants to dominate Ermos. But, do you want to dominate Ermos?” Rum turned the tables back onto Glarith.

She stared at him for several seconds. “Jorteg wants that. I...” she looked down. “I never fully wanted that, but I wanted his power. I wanted to be by his side, as a powerful mage, and so I suppose I wanted that because he wanted it, as a service to my dungeon lord. But now, standing here in this room with all these people that I know, and them acting so unfamiliar, here I do not want to do that. And I do not want to serve Jorteg, either.” Her eyes searched the floor, as if what she’d just said revealed something to herself. “I want to be free of his reign” she spoke quietly to the floor.

Rum took a step over to her, and put a hand on her shoulder, to which she met his eyes. “If you want to be free, I will help you to be free. And, while I have no ambitions of becoming powerful myself, if it is magic you want to learn, there are ways besides serving a dungeon lord.”

She looked deeply into his eyes, and gradually, the old woman formed a little smile. Rum nodded lightly, and then stepped away, before turning and looking around the room.

“Is that supposed to happen?” he heard the voice of the moustachioed wizard speak somewhere. He turned to the direction of the voice, and saw the man, standing over Elrith’s body.

Her back was glowing. A big strong reddish light escaping from under her clothes. A thin line of smoke rose from a brown leather vest she was wearing.

“Ah” Rum spoke, “she’s about to explode.”