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Nero Walker (A Slow-Burn Litrpg)
Chapter 221 - Self deception as a coping mechanism.

Chapter 221 - Self deception as a coping mechanism.

After having a rather interesting discussion with Academian Quincy concerning Nero’s background and its likely effect on his personality, Nick retired to his room to check in with Vera. Leaning back into his chair, he reached out to Dorchester through his communication orb and waited patiently for his wife to use her twinned communication orb to accept the connection.

When he finally felt the connection activate, he let himself get lost momentarily in the familiar feelings of his love’s presence.

“Hello, my dear. How did your conversation with Ms. Averett go?” he asked with a smile.

He could feel Vera mentally sighing as she replied, “Everything has been arranged for your return. That woman is both frightfully capable and utterly irrational. If it weren’t for young Nero’s surprisingly strong economic position, she’d be ruining him.”

Nick had expected some conflict between the two women as to who was actually in control of House Walker, but he hadn’t thought Ms. Averett was the type of person who would be considered wasteful. “Oh? What did she do?”

Vera replied, “Technically, nothing yet. But from what I can tell, she’s planning on expanding Nero’s house further by capitalizing on his recent notoriety.”

Even more confused, he asked hesitantly, “What notoriety?”

Over the connection, Nick could feel Vera’s irritation quite clearly. “I think it was the Blackwoods that started it, but with how the council is acting, I can’t be entirely sure.”

Sitting up in his seat, Nick panicked for a moment at what the Blackwood’s involvement could mean. His tone cold as ice, he asked, “What did they do?”

Obviously intending to calm him down, her voice became soothing and eerily calm as she began explaining, “I’m sure you remember, Nero has been a topic of conversation for some time. Between his part in the noble war, his eye-catching appearance in the arena, and his not-so-secret conflict with the nobles, many people have been following his story. I think we were just beginning to see the nobles' response to his growing popularity with the recent opinions being distributed through the Thought Hub.

Many prominent figures have begun openly questioning whether or not Nero is as impressive as some of the stories people are hearing make him sound. Whoever is behind it was careful enough to begin slowly shifting public opinion rather than outright confronting it. It was very well done and if they had more time, their plan probably would have worked.

To be honest, I only really noticed the pattern when that researcher, Madaline York, began voicing concerns about House Walker’s exploitation of density shift. Other respected city leaders publicly responded, either partially agreeing with her or reframing the issue while taking Nero’s exploitation of Dorchester’s plight as a given. Taken together, it was clear that a subtle campaign to discredit the usage of our trading houses had begun.

I didn’t even oppose it at first, as it worked to advertise our new enterprise. But looking at it now, in the long run, I fear it could have done a great deal of harm to House Walker’s name. In the coming months, when our competitors opened their own trading houses, people looking for an alternative would jump at the opportunity to boycott us. However, I no longer see that happening since this morning the Thought hub was overrun by memory engrams from returning soldiers who made a point of highlighting Nero’s contributions,” she said in amusement.

Baffled, he asked, “OK. But what does any of that have to do with Cathleen? And how can you be sure it was the Blackwoods behind it? The Yorks and the Blackwoods aren’t in any alliance that I’ve ever heard about. In fact, If I remember correctly, Lord York and Lord Blackwood used to hate each other. I would have thought Lord York would be grateful to House Walker for exposing his actions, leading to both his disgrace and execution.”

Vera's reply was swift and sharp, “There isn’t a noble in Dorchester who doesn’t fear House Walker’s rise. Even after being raised to a unique, he’s made it clear he’ll be leaving a presence in this city through House Verena. You should consider what will happen to us after Nero moves on to another city.”

Nick had to admit that she had a point. It only made sense that the nobles would already be preparing to counter Nero’s influence. Planning for the future was just good sense. A long-term public relations campaign against House Walker’s interests should have been something he’d expected.

Vera continued, “Regardless, Cathleen had already anticipated the nobles spreading word about Nero’s ‘war crimes’, and had one of the W.A.C.’s new members create an informative memory engram that she intended to have me distribute in order to counter their claims. When I told her about what was going on across the Thought Hub, she had me distribute it immediately.

She also requested Nero’s estate to be restaffed and supplies arranged for her growing forces. I’ve also sent out two wagonloads of armor, gear, and weapons which should be reaching you by tonight. The army’s engineers have already built a connecting road through the mountains to your position and I hear they are preparing an assault force to head into the mountain after the kobalds.”

Sounding annoyed, he replied, “And that’s enough to affect House Walker’s finances?”

Vera replied, “Not at all. However, once I distributed the informational memory engram she’d asked me to, the Thought Hub began receiving more and more testimonials from returning soldiers who had personally witnessed Nero’s heroics. In less than a day, everyone in Dorchester has been talking about it. The religious quarter has become even more vocal, declaring that this is proof of their claims of his divine purpose. I’ve been flooded with requests to join him in his ‘noble’ crusade.

When I told Cathleen about it, she began talking about expanding Nero’s mercenary company into a hunting division under the personal control of Nero. She’s having me recruit and outfit teams to go out into the wilds and establish House Walker’s presence. We’ve run the numbers, and if we don’t screw up, House Walker will be raking in the profits from the essence crystals we’ll be receiving.”

Paling at the idea of even more warriors being infected with Nero’s idiocy, he asked, “How many more people is she expecting?”

Vera replied in amusement, “It’s been less than 12 hours since we started, and I’ve already signed 3 respected teams totaling 19 people. Her requirement that they agree to follow Nero into whatever danger he decides to get mixed up in didn’t put them off at all. In fact, they seemed quite excited about it. From the initial responses I’m been getting, you can expect that there will be quite a few more like-minded people joining the Walker Adventuring Company in the future.”

Nick replied with a sigh, “Wonderful, just what we need… more wackos.”

—--

By the time Arch-mage Jennings returned Nero to House Walker’s tent, it was already well past sundown.

Still processing everything they’d talked about, Nero walked through the tent flaps with a frown on his face. The common room was filled to the brim with wackos drinking and laughing, the festive atmosphere immediately assaulted his senses with the contrast to how he was currently feeling.

Noticing a slight incongruity in the ether on his left, Nero turned to see Cathleen approaching him at a brisk walk. Focusing his essence field around her, he could tell that her presence was slightly masking itself among the various essence fields of the people around her. Had he not already been familiar with the technique, he would have easily missed her.

‘She is disgustingly good at hiding in plain sight,’ he thought to himself in wonder.

When she stopped hiding herself, the transition was so quick he almost missed it. ‘Appearing’ fully in the room, she asked, “Are you alright, little lord?”

Smiling fondly at the familiar term, he replied, “Yeah, I’m fine.” Gesturing off to an area away from everyone, he led her away while quietly asking, “Jennings said that he told you where I was?”

While slowly nodding, Cathleen’s face remained expressionless. “Yes, I handled everything in your absence. You have nothing to catch up on. What I’m more concerned about is what you discussed with the archmage?” she asked, her voice laced with quiet intensity.

Smiling weakly, he replied, “Nothing sinister, I don’t think. We just talked about The Game, and my place in the world.”

Replying with some steel in her voice, she said, “Your place is with us. You don’t have to give up your plans to adhere to his wishes. As a unique, even he does not have the right to influence your decisions.”

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Shaking his head at the care she was showing him, he said, “No, he wasn’t trying to convince me of anything. Or, at least I think he wasn’t. You have to understand… up until recently, I’ve been just going with the flow. Aside from the few times where I stuck my nose in where it didn’t belong, I’ve mostly been just reacting to things as they come. But now, having had to come to terms with the fact that I’m a ‘player’, along with all of the crap that I’ve somehow gotten myself into… It’s all just a little much to take in.”

Slightly frowning in confusion, she said, “Everyone is a player in their own game, that’s what being awakened means. When you are a child, your caretakers are there to protect you. But when you become an adult, you awaken your power and are forced to confront the obstacles the world puts in your path on your own. While it is a heavy responsibility, it is one we must all carry.”

His shoulders drooped as he sighed in exasperation at her monologue. She really can’t help but talk like a wizened mentor guiding him toward his destiny through metaphor and spiritualism. What’s worse, Nero now knew enough about the world to know for a fact that she was actually being literal.

Crazily, translation magic had no problem equating what he meant by ‘player’ to how she was using it. This was a world where touchy-feely crap blurred its lines with games and fantasy in a mish-mash of real-world responsibilities and accountability.

To Nero, it was like finding out all the little ways in which winning the lottery ruined your life. Taxes, meetings with accountants, familial requests, false friends coming out of the woodwork, days and days of endless work managing the new fortune… being confronted with the reality of the consequences ended up souring the fantasy.

Here he was, in an actual fantasy world, with freaking magic no less, and he was being corrupted into becoming an emotional little twat concerned with keeping his people alive and confronting terrors in defense of all of humanity. A fate he’d always sworn to himself that he would avoid if he was ever lucky enough to find himself in this situation.

This all reminded him of when he’d been forced to learn what insurance premiums meant when he’d had to pick out his healthcare provider after having made manager. The feeling of being dragged kicking and screaming into adulthood had nearly driven him to alcoholism. If it hadn’t been for his girlfriend at the time, he’d probably have run off to Hawaii and taken a job at a surf shop or something.

Now, once again… circumstance was forcing him to ‘adult’. Which was actually his least favorite verb after retching and excreting.

Looking resigned to his fate, he reached out and gently patted Cathleen on her arm, silently assuring her that he was fine.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore. I’m just going to keep focusing on my shit, and let the rest of it fall wherever it wants,” he said firmly before changing the subject, “Now, I heard from Jennings that you’ve organized House Walker or something? When will we be rejoining the fight with the kobalds?”

Easily slipping into her command voice, she replied, “We’re just waiting on the wagons Lady Verena sent with our supplies. Tomorrow morning, we’ll be presenting you with options as to how you want us to proceed.”

Surprised to hear that Cathleen had been communicating with Vera, he asked, “How about giving me a preview? What are you and everyone else thinking?”

Crossing her arms, and adopting the warrior look Nero had become used to seeing, she replied, “Three options, my lord. One, we stay here and follow the secondary army into the tunnel the kobalds have provided us. The army intends to press into the mountain on two fronts, and we have the option of choosing which front we’ll be joining. Two, we return to Dorchester and collect those recruits who are there waiting for us before heading to the mountain gate and joining the forces there. Finally, we can split our forces, sending our troops to wherever you’d like while you go to the mage tower and use your abilities to aid the campaign there. In that case, I’ll be leading House Walker’s forces into the field.”

Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Nero found himself focusing on one particular sentence she’d quickly glossed over. “Wait… we have more troops waiting for us in Dorchester? Has Vera been recruiting?”

Shrugging away the question, Cathleen replied, “Don’t worry about it. It’s being handled. You just need to decide where House Walker will be going. Personally, while I’d like to see your continued involvement in the upcoming battles, tactically it would make more sense to make use of your ability to pierce the kobald’s illusions through the mage tower. Intelligence is currently the weakest aspect of Dorchester’s preparations for the assault. Your aid would no doubt be of great help to all of us.”

Rubbing his hands across his face, he felt like screaming. He really didn’t want to spend his days locked in a room scrying stuff. Despite how interesting the magic tower probably was, he was sure doing monitor duty would be utterly boring. Everyone else would be out having fun, fighting, and getting into trouble, and he’d be stuck watching their adventures.

He’d always been more of an RPG fan than an RTS enthusiast, he enjoyed being part of the action, not coordinating it.

Changing the subject once again, he asked, “Any word from the evaluators and that grandmaster guy? How’s the thing with the council going?”

Keeping her expression blank, she replied evenly, “It’s being handled. You don’t have to worry about it. I’m told you’ll be receiving a briefing about it tomorrow at the meeting.”

Staring at her, he waited patiently for her to say more. When a few seconds passed, and he realized that what little she’d said was all he was going to get, he sighed and said, “OK, that’s fine I guess. Look, I really need a break, so I’m just going to go to my room and call it an early night. In the morning, I’ll let you know what I decide. Fair warning, I’ll probably just end up going along with whatever you guys decide.”

More than done with the conversation, Nero embraced the culture’s weirdness and walked off without another word.

Aside from a few polite head nods he’d been forced by circumstance to give out, he made his way through the common room without any issues. Finally stepping into his little room, he closed his eyes and enjoyed a moment of utter silence.

His mind was awash with concerns about what he was going to do, how he was going to pay for his soldiers, the responsibility of the life oaths he was taking on, and how his dream of being a reality-altering mage with a mobile tower fit into all that. When he’d first showed up here, everything had been so simple. How had it all gotten so complicated?

Stripping off his clothes, he collapsed onto his cot and looked up at the ceiling with dead eyes. He wasn’t just a guy in a fantasy world goofing off anymore. Now he was a noble at odds with other nobles, currently under watch by the big bad powers that be from the capital, and now, apparently, the ‘hope’ of Dorchester.

Snorting in amusement at the idea of people actually having decided to follow him anywhere, he closed his eyes and sank into his inner world.

Like always, he found himself on his path, the woods stretching out around him like a comforting blanket of possibilities. Overhead, the sun still shone alongside the puffy white clouds. Under his feet, the familiar stone path stretched out before him, the shadows from the trees around him dancing merrily due to the gentle breeze.

However, despite how pretty everything looked, something wasn’t right. Instead of seeing his experiences floating around, waiting for him to incorporate them into his identity, all he saw were wisps of memory already fading out of existence. He had absolutely no idea what was going on.

‘Where the hell is all my damned experience?’ he thought to himself angrily.

Mentally lashing out, he gripped one of the wisps and tried to pull it toward him. Instead of coming along easily, he felt the memory slip through his grasp, vanishing into the air like smoke.

“Um…. well… this isn’t good,” he muttered.

Looking around for a hint of what had changed, his attention was caught by the path in front of him. While usually it looked like it stretched all the way into the mountains in the distance, it now inexplicably veered off course. It was a slight curve that resulted in the path disappearing around a few trees. Although it could very well still be heading toward the mountains, he could no longer see it.

Face-palming, he groaned in annoyance at the utterly on-the-nose metaphor for having ‘lost his path’. ‘Sometimes… I really hate this world,’ he thought to himself.

Not having any other ideas, he checked his identity panel and wasn’t surprised to see his experience level exactly where it was the last time he’d looked. It would seem that his rapid progress had suddenly come to a pathetically depressing full stop.

Tipping his head back and closing his eyes, he whined to the sky, “Alright… I get it. I’ve lost my way. So, do I need a shrink, or a mind healer or something?”

Even though he hadn’t exactly expected a response, the silence he received as an answer still pissed him off. Having no better ideas, he angrily sat himself down on the ground and stared hatefully at the trees in the distance.

‘OK. I can figure this out. Everything is a metaphor here. I’ve lost my path… so I have to find it again. Paths are personal. So, it's probably some ‘stay true to yourself’ nonsense or maybe an ‘embrace your destiny’ kind of a thing. Either way, I need to have some kind of personal revelation that will put me back on my path. Sounds doable. How hard could it be,’ he thought to himself.

It turned out to be very hard, as he ended up staring blankly at the trees for what felt like hours without anything to show for it.

He’d wasted more than a little time trying to mentally review his life, treating his personal history as some kind of story and writing a character description for himself.

Nero Walker is an average guy with unrealized but limitless potential. With a cheery and good-natured personality, he lived a wonderful life full of friends and love, unfortunately always feeling like he’d been missing something. When he tragically died before his time, he found himself on his own in the void between worlds, lost and alone. Through luck or destiny, he was able to find himself a new world to call home. It had magic and wonder, along with the promise of adventure that he’d always longed for. Like a duck in water, he’d finally found his place in the universe. Quickly making friends, he rose up through the ranks of citizenry until he became a lord with a house of his own. Loved and respected by those who’ve chosen to follow him, he valiantly confronts the dangers of the world and protects those he’s come to care for.

When that didn’t work, he moved on to his next idea… begging for help.

Returning to the world, he opened his eyes and sat up with a scowl on his face. Looking up randomly into the air, he said, “Hey, Jennings, if you happen to be paying attention, I could use a professional consult. Something is wrong with my noggin’, and I’m 90% sure it’s your fault. So, get your ass over here and fix me!”