The general sat at his desk, glaring angrily at the report. The silence of the room was occasionally shattered by the sound of his flipping a page. The three men on the other side of his desk waited patiently for him to finish reading. Sunlight was coming in through slits on the walls near the ceiling, giving the room the feeling of a bunker. The room was filled with trophies and memorabilia that were meant for one thing: to instill visitors with fear of the man who sat behind the desk. Intimidation was part and parcel with the position he had held for the last 60 years.

The three men could tell that General Branson didn’t like the results of last night. The army was too loud with their investigation.

‘At least there were some results,’ he thought.

Page after page, he read the report on the mage’s interrogation. Sitting in his large chair, his brows furrowed at both the confirmation that something was rotten in Dorchester, and the lack of information as to what that rotten thing was.

After long minutes, he set down the report, leaned back in his chair and released a huff. “We know that the man was falsifying scrying reports from outside the walls. We don’t have a client list, or any idea of what it was he was hiding. How long until we have a complete review of his last six months?” asked the general.

“4 hours at the earliest. But he’s been linked to several major houses, not to mention shipping concerns, who knows what we’ll find.” One of the men said.

Tapping his finger on the desk, the general said, “There is mention of a logician who was the mages point of contact. What do we know about him?”

Receiving only silence in response, he slammed a fist onto his heavy wooden desk.

“I have a meeting with Lord Cosgrave in 2 hours. That is the earliest I can get her alone. I want something to tell her that amounts to more than, ‘we think there might be a threat’,” General Branson growled.

“We do know some things. Someone has been shipping things south that they want to keep quiet. Either they or someone else moved that raiding party from a region near the city. Both of those facts have evidence. In a way, the fact that we DON’T know more should be concerning,” another man said.

“As for the investigation of the Nobles, it’s difficult to find any actionable intelligence without making them aware that we are looking. We don’t want to set them off early if they ARE in fact up to something,” the third man said, trying to point out the difficulty of his assignment.

The General nodded. “That’s a good point. I want us to continue the readiness drills and get me a private meeting with Head Guard Dalton. Nobles are always up to something, so finding out that they are plotting something means nothing. The evidence suggests a force of arms, though. That can not be ignored. Whether Lord Cosgrave agrees with our conclusions or not, she should be made aware of what’s going on. And for God’s sakes, try to keep this quiet!” he roared.

-----

While Nero was walking towards Nick’s lab, he was taking his time. Leisurely passing through the lightly populated hallways, he noticed that very few people were moving with purpose. Most were just going about their day, each one politely smiling and nodding to each other.

The wide hallways were sporadically filled with fancy paintings, pieces of art, and comfortable benches. Nero really LOOKED around as he made his way through the Center. The elevators were filled with nice carpet and they even had carved molding tastefully decorating the bulbous light globes. Everything seemed so professionally ‘well done’ and placed with care. Nero could imagine the guy who had dedicated his entire life and his personal growth to the study of carving; being the best wood carver he could be. All of the effort leading to him being able to carve that little flower on the crown molding.

How many people here have a friend for life? Can someone even have friends, when they spend all their time being in search of their ‘best self’? It worried Nero. If every interaction was just an opportunity for a person to grow, was there no one in this world who focused on the path of drinking whiskey and stealing street signs? Did words like ‘friend’ and ‘love’ mean the same thing here that they did back home. How was the translation being done. Is it just the closest approximation?

Eventually, his internal musings were interrupted by the outside world. The doors opened to the 5th floor of the Center for Research. Nero walked up to the desk and saw someone he recognized. “Hey Bill,” he said.

“I’m sorry, but my name is Brian. You’re the young man that will be starting as Mr. Salvatore’s lab assistant, correct?” the now correctly named Brian said with a polite and welcoming tone.

With a blank face, not really in the mood to deal with the polite direction this conversation was going, Nero said, “Yup. That’s me. Where’s Nick?”

Not losing his smile, Brian replied, “He’s in his office. Just head down that hall, you should be able to track him down through the link. You’re now part of the research-hub.”

Nero’s hands shook as he suffered a full body shiver. While walking away, he could practically hear the Center’s associates chanting ‘one of us… one of us… one of us’ with their polite, yet creepy voices. His mood getting worse with every step. Nero wondered if he was just projecting the sinister undertones into the world around him.

When he finally got to Nick's lab, he pinged it. Standing there, with his arms folded and a scowl on his face, he mentally replayed all the horribleness and offensive courtesy that was core to this disgusting cesspool of kindness and understanding. Receiving the feeling of ‘welcome’ which indicated that he should enter; he lost it.

Barging into the room, he projected in loud tone of voice that came out like a hammer on glass, “What the hell is wrong with this world. Everyone here is so polite and considerate. Don’t people bond. How can you find your best friend, or a group, or clique you want to hang out with if you don’t share a common hatred.” Nero paused as an idea popped in his head. “The Icelanders… we hate them right? What is it we hate about them?”

Nick was sitting at his desk with his mouth open and eyes widened in surprise. There were two younger looking individuals sitting across from him with note pads and pens in their hands. They were both half turned toward him, while leaning away from Nero’s very loud entrance. Each had an expression of confusion and terror on their face. They looked like horrified bookends, with Nick’s confusion in the middle. The image was priceless. And like fog in the morning sun, Nero’s bad mood evaporated.

He noticed that even the holograms on the desk had paused their scrolling. “Um… sorry to interrupt the meeting. I was told to see Nick. I’m Nero, it’s nice to meet you both.” Nero tried to backpedal into polite conversation, but failed miserably. As he had involuntarily stepped forward to offer a handshake in greeting, he had to lower his hand, and take a step back.

“Well, this is awkward. I’ll just sit over here. You guys do your thing, and I’ll just wait for you to finish.” Nero said, then walked over to a couch on the wall that had a small, convenient, coffee table.

Right when he was about to sit down, he heard Nick say, “Well that is the young man we were just speaking about. Please ignore him for now. You can clearly see that he is just as interesting as I said he was.”

Nick turned his head to focus on the young woman on his right. “Now Kendra, not much will change for you. You might have some additional paperwork that will need to be done in relation to filing Nero’s test results and such. Also, you’ll be in charge of smoothing out any ruffled feathers in the department. Try to make sure Judy doesn’t go on a rampage again. It’s not the end of the world if we don’t actually use a lab that we scheduled. It wastes nothing… never mind, ignore that last bit. Stop writing that down. You’re not funny” Nick said as he noticed Kendra was writing down everything he had been saying.

Nero noticed that they were doing exactly as he asked. They were ignoring him and had resumed their little meeting. A meeting which was apparently about him. From the angle he was sitting, Nero could only see the back of Kendra’s head, but he could see the other lab assistant patiently waiting for his turn to hear his responsibilities with a small smile on his face.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

‘These fucking people are courtesy robots, sent back in time to pacify the weak willed.’ Nero thought with a sneer on his face.

“Moving on.” Nick continued while addressing to the young man on his left, “David, I’m afraid I’ll be relying on you a little more than usual for the data collection at the essence monitor sites. I know you’ve been splitting that with Kendra, but for now, you’ll be doing it on your own. You know what to do, I trust that you’ll handle it fine. And you did a wonderful job on the syllabus I asked you for. In the future, I’d appreciate you not sending messages to Vera with the purpose of causing me grief, I know you do it on purpose.” He glanced at Kendra, whose shoulders were shaking with mirth as she held in a chuckle. Returning his gaze to David, “You are also not funny.”

Nick then stood up and walked around the desk, idly waving away the floating holograms, several of them closing as he did so.

Gesturing toward Nero, he said, “Now I’d like you both to meet Nero Walker. He is a newly awakened young man with a very interesting background. I’ve already briefed you on his circumstances, so let’s just have you introduce yourselves.”

Nick moved to stand in front of the coffee table opposite the couch where Nero sat. He was soon joined by his two lab assistants. They both stood there and gave a shallow bow. Before they said anything, Nero stood up.

“I still don’t understand the social protocol of what I’m supposed to do in this situation. Am I supposed to bow back to you, or nod, or something?” asked Nero.

Kendra and David exchanged an amused expression. Kendra spoke first. “What feels natural to you?” she inquired, apparently genuinely interested.

Hearing the question, Nick seemed to come to attention. Interjecting himself, he said, “That’s a really good point. He might have some kind of ingrained response left over from his previous imprint. Like a gut instinct. Very well done Kendra.” David also nodded in appreciation.

Nero’s eyes fell, “So my time as a lab-rat starts now then, huh?” he said rhetorically.

Kendra’s face lost its smile. She looked like Nero had killed her cat. David looked like he had been caught enjoying a dog fight. While Nick just looked tired.

“Nero, they don’t know you. Can you not pick on them for at least a few hours? They think you're serious. While I can tell that you are just being a little shit, they can’t read you at all. Your psychic field is so chaotic that it’s very difficult for people who aren’t highly skilled in mind arts to read your emotions. Kendra will take your words at face value, and David can only tell that you feel ‘something’. So just please answer the question, I’m interested in the answer myself,” said Nick.

Nero could tell that Kendra enjoyed the joke once she realized Nero was just kidding, however David was a serious person like Mrs. S. ‘He’s going to be fun to mess with,’ Nero thought.

Figuring that there was no harm playing off his instincts from Earth as ‘residual thought patterns’ or whatever, Nero said, “When I meet someone, I have an urge to hold out my hand in greeting. I also get the feeling that they should as well, and when they don’t, I feel insulted.”

Nick’s eyes lit up. “Interesting. Show me! Just do what feels natural, I’ll mimic you.” he said and backed up a little into the center of the room so Nero could walk up to him.

David and Kendra stepped off to the side to watch, interest clear in their eyes.

‘These people really are just science geeks. ‘Come see my totally foreign space-greeting!’… should I do the Vulcan hand-thing? Or maybe Wakanda forever? Nah,’ Nero thought as he stepped around the coffee table to offer a handshake to Nick.

As he raised his hand, Nick’s face had a look of concentration. When Nero gave it a firm shake, Nick’s eyebrows shot up. Nero then let his hand drop to the side. “That’s what I feel like doing whenever I meet someone.” He said.

Kendra sounded like she wanted to clap. “That’s fascinating. I wonder why they would do that. The social ritual has to come from something,” she said.

“It could be anything. There is not enough data available. The gesture is too simple to extrapolate any purpose.” David said, while nodding in interest.

Nick was off to the side doing handshakes into the air. His face was a mask of pure focus. Maybe he was trying to divine the purpose through repetition.

Nero’s good mood had been rekindled. He thought to himself, ‘How can I stay mad at these simple creatures. They just don’t know any better.’

Addressing the room, Nero said, “There is never ‘too little data’. You just lack imagination. I have no idea why I feel like doing it, but I could guess.”

That statement evidently caught Nick’s attention, so he stopped his ridiculous handshake testing. Walking over, he stood next to David and Kendra. Leaning over he whispered to them, “This will be good. Pay close attention, and try to follow how his mind works.”

Nero smirked and shook his head. “Fine,” he said.

He started pacing and let his mind wander. “It could be that normally two people usually carry something in their hands that they tap with each other. No, that would screw up the gripping part…. It could be that they want to prove that their hands are empty, like a demonstration of not having a weapon. Or maybe the gesture originates from a world where there are creatures that look like people, but are cold blooded. So you must prove that your hands are warm or face a battle to the death. Maybe the species that I was part of had a different biology, and a handshake was actually transmitting a greeting signal through the contact… Or it could be something as simple as a sign of offering your hand in respect, and the holding of the hands is accepting that respect,” said Nero, offering his random thoughts as to where the handshake could have come from.

Come to think of it. Nero didn’t actually know where the handshake came from. ‘How could I have never watched a homemade video from some random sociology student about where the handshake originated?’ Nero wondered.

Nick looked pleased, and David and Kendra both looked at Nero like he was an idiot. Nero returned their regards with a shrug, then looked around for something to eat or drink. Spotting a tray of small biscuits and a pitcher of coffee, he helped himself.

Sounding like a proud father, Nick said, “As I told you both, Nero sees the world in a very interesting way. Where we tend to methodically search for answers.” Nick held a hand toward Nero and continued, “He just jumps to conclusions based on minimal information. The fact that he is so often correct, is baffling.” Kendra and David just nodded in appreciation, apparently impressed with Nick’s interpretation of Nero’s bullshit.

“So now that you’ve been exposed to Nero’s eccentricities, let’s have you introduce yourselves,” Nick said as he gave the proverbial floor to his lab assistants. Nero just stood leaning against the wall with a cookie, his coffee, and a smile.

Kendra stepped forward first. She was a little over 5 feet tall, with bright blue eyes, and blond hair in a tight bun. She looked like a little Norwegian princess. “I’m Kendra Sterling,” she said. “My background is in Monster spawning patterns and I completed a 6 year branch of Agriculture, with a focus on soil volatility and essence permeation. My focus shifted when I started to look at how beast waves affected the soil in affected areas. I’ve been under Mr. Salvatore for 7 years, and I hope to get my own research appointment one day,” she finished with a smile.

Nick interjected before David could step forward. “In addition to being a brilliant scientist in the field of essence flow tracking, Kendra is a brilliant politician. She handles most of my social calendar and professional interactions. She is also in charge of all our grant requests and thesis preparations. If we need something, Kendra can get it,” he said, then waved for David to take his turn.

David stepped up. He was only 5ft 6in tall and seemed to stand as straight as possible in order to gain an inch or two. With a very deep tan and slicked black hair; he was a very thin, very proper, little Roman aristocrat. With a proud tilt of his chin, he stated, “My name is David Henderson. And I’ve been with Mr. Salvatore for 25 years. I am his right hand. Whatever he needs, I provide.” He then gave a crisp nod and stepped back. Nero could see Kendra with a hand covering her mouth and trying not to laugh.

Nick just sighed and said, “David is a great assistant and I’m lucky to have him. In addition to being my ‘right hand’, he is a very accomplished scientist. He caught my attention when he published a paper on how it might be possible to predict beast waves by ambient essence fluctuations. One of our first successes was that very proof. Currently one of our projects is a collaboration between both David and Kendra in which Kendra posited that monster spawning locations and essence breaks may have a correlation to beast wave signs as determined by atmospheric essence flows. It’s a brilliant theory, and David used his expertise in essence collection to develop a possible testing method.” Nick finished his scientific babble with an enthusiastic smile.

Both David and Kendra were smiling in pride and accomplishment. Nero wasn’t paying attention, and caught himself when he realized Nick had stopped talking. “Wow. That’s…. something all right. Good on both of you. I’m sure you’ll fix whatever is wrong with it,” Nero said, pleased that he successfully covered his disinterest.

All three of the scientists gave him a blank look, so Nero changed the subject by asking, “So, where is my desk? And I have some questions for whoever will be teaching me magic. I have a class in three days, and I want to be ready.”

David looked to Nick and asked, “What class? I thought I was supposed to develop a lesson plan from scratch. Aren’t you and I going to be teaching him magic?” He looked confused.

Nick replied, “Among other things. Nero, did you open the syllabus I sent you this morning? It’s a schedule that I collaborated with Ms. Averett and Captain Angelton to create. We need your input before it’s finalized. A lot of the coursework was chosen by David here. He is a Center-point graduate and an accomplished mage.”

Kendra spoke up, “Just send me the finalized schedule, and I’ll make sure you get into whatever classes are needed. In the meantime, I have my own tasks to take care of, so I’ll be off.”

She started to walk toward the door, but then paused, turned around and walked toward Nero. She then held her arm out straight. Nero smiled, realizing that she was trying to shake hands, so he obliged. After two good shakes her arm dropped, and she just stood there looking at Nero. It got awkward quickly.

“Yeah, I’m not going to be doing that. It feels weird,” she said. Without another word, she turned around and walked out.

Nero turned to David and Nick who were both quietly muttering to each other about how ‘it was weird’ and ‘there is no reason to adopt such a ridiculous ritual’. When they noticed Nero judging them, they snapped to attention and smiled.

Nick then took the opportunity to say, “I have some things to do as well. So I’ll leave you with David.” He then nodded to each of them, and walked out of the room.

Nero watched Nick leave and wondered if the man really had anything important to do. Turning back, he was surprised to see David walking toward the sofa and ignoring him.

‘When they end a conversation, they just STOP,’ Nero thought. ‘That’s NEVER going to stop being annoying.’