I furrowed my brows and thought deeply, none of the names I was familiar with would fit in the village or world I was in, if I had to pick a name it would be one that meshed with my personality and didn't stand out too much.

"Grandpa, you told me that the man was studying me right?" I asked, curious.

"Yes child, he was studying you amongst a variety of other things in that laboratory." answered the Hokage.

"What was my name in those studies?" this was a question I had had for a while.

The hokage grimaced as if once again perturbed by his student's act of abducting and testing on children. "He called you subject number 37 in all of the data we were able to collect."

Subject #37, wow, really meaningful, thanks snake freak.

'I don't wanna go by that for sure…'

I didn't have any clue as to what I wanted to be named.

"Grandpa I don't kn-"

…Oooo…

Chance!

I had an idea to, in one full swing, get a name *and* deepen my connection to the most powerful man in the village.

"Grandpa, why don't you choose a name for me!" I said, doing my best to portray a hopeful expression on my face.

The third Hokage was visibly surprised by my "childish request", "Choosing a name is an important task, are you sure you don't want to choose one for yourself?" he asked.

You can't get out of it that easy old man, watch as I use my guilt trip manoeuvre no jutsu to force you to pick one for me!

"So… you don't want to choose one for me?" I applied the super-effective move of looking away and gripping the bedsheets once again much to the old man's chagrin.

"Ohoho, no no, how about this, let's talk some more in the future and once I know you better I can choose a wonderful name that suits you!" said Hiruzen with a smile.

'Bastard. He deflected the request and made time to question me more in the future, maybe I'm looking too far into this but it's suspicious how well it worked out for him.'

"Awh, ok Grandpa…" I think that acting like a baby is going to reduce my lifespan if I have to do this for much longer.

The hokage ruffled my hair and sat down on the bed.

'Damn, we're gonna keep talking? The gruels getting cold.' I thought. I was hungry enough to eat the gruel, but was I hungry enough to eat cold gruel? That's a question I'd rather not know the answer to.

"Once you recover, I'll make some preparations for you to move into one of the best orphanages in our village, I can guarantee you that everyone there will take great care of you" said the Hokage with a kind smile.

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'Orphanage? Like the one they put Naruto in? Not trying to diss the man's leadership but his orphanages don't have the best rep.' I thought, remembering all the troubles that Naruto went through in his childhood.

Is there any way to go somewhere better?

I had the idea of maybe asking if I could live with the Hokage but I didn't have the shamelessness in me to do so without cringing to death, I knew that he wouldn't hold it against me or anything but the low chance of it happening combined with the absurdity of asking this dude who I met recently for something of that nature made me hold it back.

Instead, I went with something more subtle.

"Grandpa… is there anywhere else I could go? I don't know about orphanages…" I said, doing my best to use a "scared" tone. Being a kid had its uses.

"Mm, I see. I know it can be scary child but I will make sure that the people who look after you do a wonderful job! Plus I'm sure you are eager to make some friends your age instead of just chatting with an old man like me!" he said with a chuckle at the end.

Nope. Not looking forward to that at all.

Kids are weird man, like little people who somehow get away with whatever they want.

And I'm one of those weirdos too now, better use it to my advantage.

"But Grandpa, I'm scared… after that bad man Orochimaru I don't want to go to a random adult's place and live with a bunch of kids…" I groaned out, it was a balance of whiny and scared that was tough to pull off, but by god I did it.

C'mon Hiruzen take the bait. I even dissed Orochimaru to make you feel guilty.

"Hah… let me think it over for a while," he said with a softer tone.

I noticed his expression change a little when I talked of Orochimaru, I guess playing on his guilt still works! I didn't feel great about it but, if it works, it works. And it's not like he's free from guilt either! The man did let his student do this to me technically, maybe I'm just coping to feel free of my guilt for tricking him like this.

"Thanks, Grandpa! You're the best! Thank you again for saving me!" again, flashing a cute smile as I did so. I was getting good at this.

"Yes yes…" said the Hokage, sounding a little tired now.

'Better bring the mood back up!'

"Erm, Grandpa, why do people call you Lord Third? What does it mean?"

I use "make Hiruzen talk of the village and will of fire no Jutsu!"

The Hokage smiled and gave me a brief rundown on the village and of what a Hokage's duty were, his mood visibly improving.

It was super effective!

"That sounds so cool Grandpa!" this time there was no need for acting, the Hokage was genuinely a cool title. It had an awesome cape and the name even sounded badass! Maybe only second to "Raikage".

"I'm glad you think so! Even as a child, I dreamed of becoming Hokage one day, how about you boy? Does the title interest you?" asked the Hokage with a teasing smile.

Oh hell no.

It was cool in theory, being the leader of the village, having absolute power over what goes on, that badass cape that looks so cool in the wind-

No more about how cool the cape is.

Though it sounded cool, the immense amount of work you have to do combined with the fact that your growth in strength is stalled does not interest me. What's the point in being the absolute strongest if you can't take a vacation when you want to?

"I don't know Grandpa, you said that the Hokage is the strongest in the village, I don't know if I can ever be that strong…" I said, this was also a genuine doubt, I knew how strong the powerhouses of this world were, would I ever amount to more than I am now? I sure hoped so.

Hiruzen patted me on the shoulder and smiled, "I am sure that if you put your mind to it and work hard, the will of fire that burns in you can help you achieve any goal, this being no different" the third Hokage said, jabbing a wrinkled finger at the red hat he placed on the bed.

Damn, even the hat was cool.

"Thank you, Gramps!" I was slightly surprised I said Gramps instead of Grandpa, guess the old man wasn't the leader of the strongest village for nothing, I warmed up to him immediately.

The old man chuckled and got off the bed, taking his hat and giving me a final smile. "I'll be back once more once your housing has been finalised, till then, if you ever want to meet me feel free to tell the nice workers here and they'll let me know" The hokage said, waving goodbye as he left.

"Bye gramps!" I waved him off as he walked away, it was genuinely good to talk to him, my mood was much better!'

"Goodbye child, enjoy your oatmeal." he said as he shut the door.

…

I stared at the now cold bowl that lay on my lap, the spoon hadn't even sunk in because of how absurdly thick it was.

Screw you Gramps.