"Nope, you need to practice," Tomo said, her stance on the issue unwavering.

"But granny Tomo, there's literally nowhere else in my life where I'll need to know this!" I refuted with a resolute expression. I did not want to lose this argument, if I do, it could set a very dangerous precedent that I didn't want to come to pass.

"Hm? You plan on being celibate?" teased Tomo with a grin.

I wish I was drinking tea, this would've been the perfect time to spit it out.

Who says something like that to a 5-year-old? A crazy chain-smoking old lady that's who.

Tomo jabbed a wrinkled hand at the two twins, who had an unmistakable stench coming from them. They looked at me innocently, batting their eyes as I fought to protect myself from their ferocious faeces. Needless to say, I was fighting for the right to escape this arduous task.

If I compromised and did this now, taking care of BOTH kids be my duty whenever Sasuke wasn't around, I must remain strong on this stance, failing this could spell a terrible fate for me; I will not be bested.

"Clean 'em both up and I'll make Takoyaki tonight."

"On it!"

I was bested.

It did not take long for Tomo to learn of my weakness, I didn't know if this body was different or if the people on this planet were just excellent cooks (aside from whoever ran the hospital), but the food they made was heavenly. In particular, I found out that Takoyaki was my biggest weakness.

I sometimes had the craving to eat a burger or a pizza but Tomo didn't understand what I meant and it wasn't as if I was a cook either, I was willing to try and make something but Tomo forbade me from using the kitchen until I was at least seven.

After being here for a week, Sasuke was still nowhere to be seen, according to Tomo he's supposed to come back this afternoon, I was looking forward to meeting someone capable of getting one over on the old hag; I mean that last part endearingly, kind of.

Begrudgingly, I took care of the "business" and tossed out the evidence.

"Thanku Aki!" said Numa, Kuma followed up with a "Tanku…", the twins looked similar with brown hair and blue eyes but their personalities couldn't be more different. Numa was a hyperactive boy who loved to play with his toys and goof around, Kuma on the other hand spent his time reading the same picture books again and again. Tomo told me she bought lots more just so Kuma could read.

"Aki!" said Numa, trying to get my attention.

"Momma, poppa? Hide 'n seek?" asked the boy. The twins were only capable of stringing together a couple of words as of now but I understood what the kid was asking.

Seven more days had passed since I asked Tomo this same question, now it had been 14 days since their parents were supposed to be back, and I feared the worst.

"Numa's parents are gonna be back soon." I comforted the boy with a smile, it was fake but the boy accepted it with a grin and said ok, Kuma on the other hand started to cry and said he wanted to see them. To make him feel better I read him one of his newest picture books to calm the boy down and put him in his crib when he started nodding off, these two slept more than I thought possible.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"You're good with the kids." said a voice from behind me.

"Thanks, Tomo" I said smiling at her.

"You're a good kid Aoki." she smiled.

"O-oh… thanks…" I said awkwardly averting my eyes, it seemed I didn't know how to react to compliments, I don't think I ever got many.

"Pfft, that's the first smile I've seen where you don't look like a creep" cackled Tomo in her raspy voice, turning away from me and heading to the kitchen.

I was about to retort back but I didn't want my source of Takoyaki to change her mind so I held it in, vowing to bite back one day, maybe I should make a list of roasts?

The rest of the day followed the routine I had already created, since it was past lunch I did a few more workouts, meditated and read the newspaper, I was missing my phone so damn much by this point.

'Reading a newspaper makes me feel kinda cool though…' I said.

All I needed was a coffee and an armchair and I could cosplay every grandfather ever!

…

If you hadn't noticed by my rambling, I was bored out of my mind. I asked Tomo about joining the ninja academy but once again she shut down and changed the subject, the woman wasn't even coy about hiding her distaste for anything ninja-related. As an aspiring ninja, this was extremely annoying.

I was practically praying for Hiruzen to come back and talk to me, the guy was so interested in me a couple of weeks ago but now he wants to act all shy!?

'Ugh, I need some friends too…' I hadn't really considered getting any friends in my previous life due to my condition but everything was different now! But I was stuck with an old lady and a couple of babies. Not to mention, the people I wanna be friends with wouldn't be children so would the adults even take me seriously?

Ah, the woes of a normie transmigrator were far from a few.

Almost as if my prayers were answered, the door opened with a slam.

"OLD LADY TOMOO! I'M BACKK!!!" A voice screeched out from the living room, I damn near shat myself when I heard it. I rolled up my newspaper and ran to check out what was going on.

There stood a boy, only a tad taller than me, grinning wildly with a heavy duffel bag in hand. He was wearing a red jumper and grey shorts with a belt tied around his waist, an assortment of knick-knacks hanging off them.

Even considering his strange attire, there was something a lot more memorable about the boy.

'Baldie…'

Sparkling like a pearl in front of stage lights, the boy's bald head shone in my eyes, brightening the room he trudged inside. He didn't even spare me a glance as he kept calling for Tomo.

"Are you Sasuke?" I guessed.

"NO!" the boy shouted shooting me a glare, he dropped the duffel bag and formed his hands into fists, placing them on his hips with a wide stance.

"I am Sasu!" he declared.

'That sounds so much worse…' I deadpanned

"Ah, welcome back Sasu… I'm Aoki." I said offering him a hand with a smile.

"Huh? I never asked though?" Said the baldie, tilting his head a little.

'This bitch.'

"Sasuke, be nice to Aoki!" said Tomo appearing behind me. I almost jumped! Did he teleport? Do we have a secret Hiraishin user in the house?

"Tch, don't call me that old lady! I am Sasu!" he said pointing a thumb at himself.

"Sasuke seems nice," I said looking at the granny.

"It's SASU!" yelled the boy.

"Oh I see, I'll keep that in mind Sasuke!" I used one of my winning smiles that granny Tomo seemed to hate, although in this situation in worked in my favour quite a bit.

"Eh?! You wanna fight pipsqueak?"

I widened my smile but didn't continue. Sure, I was petty enough to annoy the kid but not brawl with him! At least not yet.

"Hmph." Sasuke took my silence for defeat and held his head high.

Tomo shot me an annoyed look, understanding what I did before pointing at the bag, "What's in that? If you're collecting snails again I'm throwing them out." she said with a dissatisfied expression.

"Snails? Only kids do that kind of thing Tomo! This is much more special and grown-up!" Sasuke said, opening the duffel bag and exposing its contents.

Kunai, Shuriken, Senbon and a variety of other weapons could be seen on the inside, there had to be at least 10 of each! Even more for Senbon as they were in packs rolled in what I assumed to be twine.

Tomo looked at the bag with a cold gaze, not saying anything for a few moments.