Chapter 13

Naruto’s breath was taken by the sight that he had observed. First the mist surrounding his comrades had dissipated before Sakura was quickly killed. Naruto had barely any time to mourn her loss before Sasuke activated his Mangekyo Sharingan. With jutsu that Naruto knew that the Uchiha had created on his own, he killed the Hidden Mist shinobi in one blow.

The Mangekyo Sharingan…Naruto thought. He must have gained that after the loss of his clan.

But after being impressed with Sasuke, the next moment was quickly followed by a silent sorrow. Naruto’s chakra layering liquefied and turned blue at the sight of Sakura’s dead form. He tried to let out a cry but could only gasp quietly in pain.

“S-Sakura…” he said as the tears couldn’t help but overflow from him. “I…I wanted…to protect you.”

“Darn Uchiha brat,” Zabuza said. “Killed all my soldiers. Well…now he’s useless after burning himself out.”

The Hidden Mist shinobi then turned to where he had teleported from. Naruto followed his gaze to see that Kakashi was cradling a wounded Haku. Most of Kakashi’s chakra layering was gone, much to Naruto’s surprise.

“Hmm,” Zabuza said. “Looks as though Kakashi wore himself out with that one Chidori. I wouldn’t think stabbing a single ninja would cost him that much energy. Poor Haku…she was too soft to be a ninja.”

“What?!” Naruto asked. “But I thought Haku was a boy?!”

Zabuza eyed the boy curiously.

“Hmm,” he said. “I see you spoke to Haku, did you? Well, no…she merely says that. Haku is in fact a woman. Haku does not want to be used as breeding stock so that her kekkai genkai can be passed down. The thought of being violated just for another child in this world to become a violent shinobi…it is a privilege I have granted her so long as Haku kept her true gender from the others.”

That idea hurt Naruto, the idea Haku was so afraid of being violated he had to hide it from someone she thought she could open up to.

Haku…? He thought. Are you that afraid?

Kakashi sacrificed around half his total chakra layering to bring the ninja in his arms from the brink of death. He didn’t know any medical ninjutsu that was sufficient to heal that kind of wound. He had to rely on the nutrition rate of his lightning chakra to do so.

Nutrition rate was the property of chakra to heal wounds or supplant nutrients. If needed, a ninja could consume their chakra rather than food, depending on the chakra it would suffice.

However, once the ninja in his arms was restored to life, Kakashi soon realized it wasn’t Rin. After the gaping hole in their chest was closed and blood stopped flowing, he became more focused on their face. And their face was not the same as Rin’s.

The mask was taken off soon after the ninja appeared in Zabuza’s place. Besides the obvious difference in eye and hair color, Rin’s face was softer. Kinder. Not to say this person didn’t have those qualities but there was a certain hardness to this person’s expression. Rin had not been a ninja as long as this person and had not faced as much torment.

This person had a certain stoicism that returned to their expression upon healing, a quality Rin did not have. They opened their eyes slowly upon healing and looked up at Kakashi, the Leaf ninja felt tricked. He hated that those eyes staring up at him were someone else and not Rin. Upon gratitude appearing back up at him, Kakashi dropped the Hidden Mist shinobi to the bridge.

The pale skinned shinobi cried out in pain, clutching their chest in agony. Just as they appeared to get up, Kakashi stepped down onto the shinobi’s back, another scream following.

“So Zabuza used a Replacement Jutsu to get away from me, did he?” he asked. “Well…too bad for you that your chakra won’t recover as quickly as your body did. You're still too newly healed to get away, prisoner.”

He stepped down harder before looking out of the corner of his eye, the chakra phantom of Obito gone.

Stupid Obito. He thought. Too careless and naive for his own good. Don’t torment me again, you fool.

Zabuza was tired at that point. He might have still had all of his chakra layering but he still felt worn. Just looking at the dead shinobi of his village made him feel like he could barely stand. He had lost too many soldiers.

The Yuki clan members that he had selectively bred were even fewer now than they once were. Gato had made sure of that. They had mostly been used up in the war against his drug faction. The Hidden Mist Village, once renowned for its combat ability, had been reduced to dregs. Every time they had fought off Gato’s latest threat, the drug lord just paid another gang of elite ninja to keep them from building the bridge and kill their workers.

He looked on in anger at the drug lord who had survived so many assassination attempts. Zabuza could have attacked at that moment but he paused. He didn’t think twice about killing Gato but wondered if he could do it. Zabuza paused because he didn’t understand the point in fighting anymore.

I’ve reduced myself to cinders. He thought. I cut ties with friends when I left the Hidden Mist…I killed many former friends when I enacted my coup…I watched many friends I gathered with me die. I thought that once I deposed Yagura peace would return…only for Gato to swoop in during that power vacuum and be a worse plague than Yagura.

His chakra almost began to turn into water at the sadness, but Zabuza was good at suppressing his emotions. Rather than turn into blue liquid it became lightning that stretched for five feet in radius. Keeping his emotions under control through burying them inside was the only thing Zabuza could do after living through so much carnage.

He looked down, turning away from the Uzumaki brat as he knew that he could handily defeat the child. The boy’s chakra level was so low he wondered why he was brought to the battlefield. What Zabuza couldn’t fight in that moment was doubt.

I’d like to say I had more friends die defending the Land of Water from Gato…Zabuza said. But I’d be lying if I did. My friends are all dead…the closest I could even call to them were the Yuki clan members I bred and raised to defend the Land of Water.

Anger burned inside him as he almost felt himself wanting to cry.

Was it just inevitable that a worse enemy would plague my home when I sacrificed everything to defend it? Zabuza thought. Is it like a hydra’s head…killing Yagura only made a worse monster in Gato be formed?

He gripped the Executioner’s Blade even tighter in his hands, afraid it might loosen in his grip. Everything else slipped through his grip, why wouldn’t his sword? Gato couldn’t help but feel like every person he’d grown close to left him.

It was a pattern in his life that started from when he was a child. He wanted the Hidden Mist to like him, to recognize him, which was why he killed his friends in their first exam. Zabuza knew that his friends would bite the dust in battle anyway, so why not kill them sooner than die in battle later?

It was that very mentality that allowed him to kill every student ninja he’d grown close to. He thought he could handle the emotional fallout from such an event. But he couldn’t. And the emptiness still haunted him. After killing so long, Zabuza grew dull to the pain, until killing became as thoughtless as eating bread. It felt more natural too. All that killing, all the blood he shed for his nation…he was now beginning to believe it hadn’t been worth it.

How many more have to die before our land can live in peace? He wondered. How many innocent children have to die?

His grip on the Executioner’s Blade slipped for a moment, the memory of how he attained it stabbing him.

Those child students I killed for our examination…Zabuza thought. They didn’t have to die. I know I killed them and the guilt remains with me…but they might have killed me. We didn’t have to have such a harrowing examination to receive this accursed blade. They didn’t even discontinue the practice after I killed a hundred students. Why? Why force us to endure such needless bloodshed?

He looked at the remains of the Yuki clan members the Uchiha killed, sighing.

And to be honest…Zabuza thought. I am no different for having put my younger subordinates through this Hell. Or…or is it Gato who should be blamed? I’d never deploy them unless it was needed.

He then sighed.

Do I of all people really need to tell myself the reality of such a cruel world? He thought. I would think I’d known about this reality by now.

But just as he moved toward the crime lord, the Uzumaki brat shouted at him.

“Zabuza!” he shouted.

He turned to the kid he thought Kakashi called Naruto, his once grayish-white wind chakra now dyed red. It became fiery as his expression became indignant. Even regarding the brat as too small to bother caring about, Zabuza was impressed that he could glare at him with such murderous intent. He pointed to Kakashi.

“Are you going to let him do that to Haku?!” Naruto asked.

A pang of sorrow hit Zabuza’s heart at the mention that Haku would be in danger. Curiously, he turned to Kakashi. He found the Leaf ninja stomping down on Haku, moreso out of anger than anything else. Zabuza was simultaneously relieved and impressed to find Haku alive, if weakened.

For some reason nearly half of Kakashi’s chakra layer was gone, an oddity considering he didn’t seem to need much to use his chidori. It did hurt him to see Haku suffering needlessly. If Gato was not his top priority he probably would have jumped in to save Haku.

“Be quiet you fool,” Zabuza said. “Haku is nearly dead, what does it matter?”

He then turned back to the crime lord dressed in a black business suit. No one was guarding him as the Uchiha was suffering from the aftereffects of his Sharingan, the female ninja in red was dead and the Hyuga girl was on her knees cradling the dead one. Gato was jittery, too scared to do anything and looking at Zabuza in fear. He wanted to lunge towards Gato but something about Naruto was stopping him. He had been closer to Haku than any of the other similarly aged ninja.

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Maybe I should help…Zabuza thought.

He then groaned in frustration before turning to Gato.

No. He thought. My nation needs me more. Gato is the poisoner of the Land of Water and so demands my greater attention. Even if Kakashi kills Haku, it doesn’t matter as Haku’s purpose was merely to serve that end.

But Naruto would not give up.

“You mean you can just stand there and watch him get treated like a dog?!” Naruto yelled. “You and Haku were together for years! Doesn’t that mean anything?!”

It does. Zabuza thought, trying to ignore the feelings rising with him. It was the only thing he could do to keep his chakra from turning into water.

“You don’t understand the way of shinobi,” Zabuza said. “I merely used him…just as Gato used you and our villages use us.”

“Huh?” Naruto asked.

“Now…” Zabuza said. “It’s over…Haku is on her last legs. She will most likely die. Her usefulness is at an end. The loss of his strength and skill, yes, that means something to me…but the girl…nothing.”

Something about the boy’s words were piercing Zabuza. He couldn’t explain it, but Naruto had touched on something that Zabuza had long since buried. Something he wasn’t even sure still existed within him.

“If you mean that…” Naruto said, his chakra calming down and turning from fire to liquid. “Then you’re an even bigger rat than I thought.”

“Calm down,” Zabuza said. “You act like I’m your…enemy. Truly, we’re not. Our villages just have different interests.”

“Shut up!” Naruto shouted, his chakra flaring up like a flame for a second. “As far as I’m concerned you’re enemy number one!”

He then eyed the boy out of the corner of his eye. He had greater interest in him now than he did Gato. There was something in him that Zabuza didn’t recognize. It wasn’t anger or sadness he saw in Naruto’s eyes. It was something beyond.

It was so baffling to him. A ninja who was angry at Zabuza not for killing his comrade or beating him in battle but…not taking care of his own comrade better? He wanted to say the ninja was completely naive but…that wouldn’t be accurate. He looked old enough to know the harsh realities of the world and Zabuza was sure he wouldn’t be brought to a battle like this if he was a mere child.

This ninja…He thought. Is highly unusual. Just like Haku. Innocence…an innocence that was stolen from me…and I stole from Haku…

“Why you…!” Naruto said. “You ungrateful…!”

He pointed to where Kakashi was stomping on Haku. Against his better judgment, Zabuza turned away from Gato to look on at the sight. He had to control himself so that his lightning chakra would not turn into fire with anger.

“Haku lived for you!” he shouted. “You were the most important thing in the world to him! And she meant nothing to you?! Nothing at all?!”

“For me,” Zabuza remembered Haku telling him not long after he rescued Haku. Those words stung Zabuza’s mind. “You are one person who matters. And my purpose is to protect and serve you. And that purpose…is what gives me my strength.”

“Some strength,” Zabuza groaned. “You are careless in battle…and too soft.”

“The way of shinobi is very difficult for me,” Haku answered.

It hurt Zabuza to hear that, that he was turning another soft and meek child into a tool of war. It was just as the Bloody Mist had done to him, forcing him to slaughter his comrades until there was only one standing. Zabuza forced the practice to no longer be continued once he gained power. The idea of turning children into soldiers, even if it was for the greater good…it hurt him. Remembering this, Zabuza had to stop looking at Naruto.

“While she was sacrificing everything for you, you never felt anything at all for her?!” Naruto demanded.

“But I will do anything to see that your dream is fulfilled,” Haku had told Zabuza. “Even become shinobi if I must.”

I have stolen your innocence. Zabuza remembered thinking. Just as the world stole mine.

“And if I become stronger…?” Naruto asked, his voice quivering. “Does that mean I’ll become as coldhearted as you are?!”

Zabuza wondered the same thing himself. Once Naruto asked that question, Zabuza realized he had always asked the same thing. For the sake of greater strength, was that the prerequisite that one must throw away their humanity?

“She threw her life away!” Naruto shouted, sobbing. “And for what?! For you and your dream?!”

“I want only to make your dream come true,” Haku had told Zabuza. “That is my dream.”

“You never let her have a dream of her own!” Naruto shouted. “But she didn’t care!”

“I will not lie to you,” Zabuza had told Haku. “Follow me and you will see horror the likes of which you never thought possible.”

“I am merely happy,” Haku told him. “To serve someone who will give me purpose.”

Zabuza couldn’t ignore Naruto anymore, turning to the Leaf ninja to see tears running down the boy’s face. Zabuza was amazed that the ninja no longer had any pretense of self-preservation. Naruto’s eyes were closed and he was too busy sobbing to look at Zabuza.

“And you just toss her aside like she was nothing!” he shouted. “A broken tool…man that’s so wrong. So wrong!”

Zabuza couldn’t help but stand stupefied that he had met yet another ninja like Haku. One who was as kind and soft hearted as Haku. No wonder Haku had spilled his guts to this brat. They were both alike.

And just like Haku, this boy was touching something that Zabuza had previously buried. Something so deep that there was no way he could hide it forever. Something Zabuza had long since repressed. All those emotions that he had long since forced away and hid…they now were rising to the surface.

While his lightning chakra ran across his body in a radius of more than five feet, he could not help but feel it nearly become water. As much as Zabuza was feeling the sorrow rise from his heart, he wouldn’t allow it to show. As tears were brought to the corner of his eyes, he winced and pushed them back. Zabuza could feel he was on the edge.

Could he…? Zabuza thought. Be the ninja…who saves…? The child…of light…?

Zabuza then pushed those emotions even further back.

“No,” Zabuza said. “It is not wrong.”

“Huh?” Naruto gasped.

He looked out of the corner of his eye to see that Naruto was looking confused at him.

“I see you were actually foolhardy enough to think you’d change me,” Zabuza said. “Well let me tell you something, Uzumaki brat. You’re wrong. You are wrong to think that what I did was wrong. Cruelty and the loss of one’s morality is the only way to survive in this world. The only way to keep anything you care for or gain anything you dream of.”

He then turned to stare squarely at Naruto.

“So yes,” Zabuza said. “If you were to become as strong as me you would have to become as coldhearted and evil as I am. Because that is the cost of becoming strong. You want to become strong, you must pay the price.”

Naruto stared at Zabuza, obviously shocked that his words had no apparent impact on the older ninja.

“That is the only thing you are right about,” he said. “That you must harden your heart to become strong and make it as cold as ice to attain my level of strength. I did not become this strong by being a softy like you or Haku. I attained it only by becoming a demon…a demon which was as evil and malicious as one who could overthrow their own nation.”

He could see something had changed in Naruto. He was no longer crying. If Zabuza had to guess it was because Naruto was too sad to cry.

“What?” Zabuza asked. “Too shocked to learn your little fairy tale world isn’t real? Well…it’s not.”

“Th-Then…” Naruto said. “You-You really are a selfish demon!”

Zabuza laughed.

“Oh no,” he said. “That’s where you're wrong, Naruto. I am a demon…but I am not a selfish one.”

Naruto began shaking in fear at his words.

“You see,” Zabuza said. “It is not because I am selfish that I am a demon…but because I am so selfless that I would give up everything and anything for my country…including my morality.”

“Y-You’re…?” Naruto asked. “Morality?”

“Yes,” Zabuza said. “That is where you and Haku differ. You never had anything to truly fight for. She only fought for me because I gave her purpose. That’s why she was able to remain innocent…she truly cared for nothing. And you, well…you don’t even fight for the Hidden Leaf Village.”

“What?!” Naruto shouted, his water chakra more rapidly flowing.

“Yes,” he said. “Those who are unwilling to sacrifice their innocence on the battlefield have no right to join in the war effort. And that is because they are worms too afraid to dirty their hands.”

Zabuza glared at Naruto, seeing in his pained expression he was breaking the ninja’s whole world.

“Innocent children like you two cannot fathom the true sacrifice it takes to keep others safe,” he said. “That is why you both exist in this perfect little world where we can all hold hands and be friends if we so desire. You see me as merely a monster who's cruel for the sake of cruel. Well let me tell you something, Naruto…I am only cruel because the world demands it of me.”

He gripped his sword with greater, newfound resolve.

“I am cruel because the government of my country was cruel,” he said. “They forced me to kill my friends for this sword. I am cruel because Yagura was cruel and I was forced to depose him. I am cruel because Gato is cruel and Kakashi was willing to take payment from him. I am cruel because the world demands that tools be broken for the sake of the survival of many.”

Zabuza pointed to Haku as her back was being broken by Kakashi.

“That scene right there,” Zabuza said. “It is the same everywhere you go on every battlefield, in every country. Soldiers must be raised from innocent children and have their hands soiled with blood just so more innocent children can rise up with either the chance to live free of the pain of killing or have their hands soiled with blood. And I killed and killed and killed hoping, wishing with all my might to see a generation of the Land of Water so safe that they would never know bloodshed. I sacrificed everything for that dream from sleepless nights to my friends to even my own innocence!”

He then raised his sword to Naruto, the young ninja falling to his knees at Zabuza’s words.

“So tell me about how coldhearted I was when I was willing to sacrifice anything and everything for my land’s prosperity!” Zabuza shouted. “Tell me how evil and corrupt I am! Tell me how hard and inhumane I am when you stand there right now willing to fight for a drug lord who is poisoning my country! The country I piled bodies to the heavens to protect! Just for one generation that would not be called the Bloody Mist!”

Naruto kept silently sobbing as he fell to his palms, unable to continue looking at Zabuza.

“Tell me how evil I am!” Zabuza shouted. “Go on! I dare you! Tell me how evil I am, ninja who aids in my land’s poisoning! I dare you! I dare you when I was willing to sacrifice my innocence to attain the Executioner’s Blade, my own morality and my very reputation, willing to be called a traitor, to depose Yagura! I fought so that no child would have to kill their fellow comrades to attain an accursed weapon!”

Naruto’s voice was drowned out to a mere whimper at Zabuza’s hammering words.

“Tell me I am selfish!” Zabuza shouted. “Tell me when I stand here on the brink of death to fight a kingpin whose only goal in life is to see more innocent souls destroyed by green powder! Smiles and happiness will never win a war! You must be willing to sacrifice others as well as yourself if you want anything to come true!”

Naruto could not respond with anything except looking up to Zabuza with eyes full of tears.

“No…” Naruto said. “You…you’re right. I’m the selfish one…for not having the will to fight on and…and give everything for my nation.”

Zabuza glared at him.

“Good,” he said. “You finally understand.”