“Ain’t gonna blame you,” Birdie shrugged, “I hardl’ recognize myself.”
Servant’s dress was not ornate in any way, at least not in this part of the castle. Just a plain linen dress and a white apron, but it was amazing how much someone could change just with a bath and some clean clothes. Birdie looked like a different person, although she was definitely uncomfortable with her current situation.
“Jus’ curious why,” Birdie looked uncomfortably up at Hall. “Surel’ you don’ need someone like me?”
“Cass requested you specifically,” Hall said with a smile and Birdie seemed to relax, Cass reflected that her Master was quite good at hiding his cruelty when it suited him. She also brushed away the slight feeling of jealousy that flared up. “Don’t worry, I will make sure the servants here train you for the job, though that will be dependent on you surviving our little test expedition of course.”
Ah, there was the sinister smile that Cass… She shook her head lightly to clear it. Really, she needed some time away from her Master. She did not want to, but Cass didn’t think what she wanted and what was best for her were likely the same things at this point.
“Cass?” Hall asked, she had been lost in her thoughts! Cass bowed her head and apologized and Hall repeated that he had brought Birdie here today to show her where Cass was staying. She would not take her place as an attendant for some time yet.
That was fine, she was happy to have someone else to talk to. Her Master was a busy man, and Maurice was often busy as well, and so Cass was often alone. After Hall and Birdie left, Cass had nothing left to do but practice her magic and study. Still, she had to admit that her desk went unused, why sit in a chair when she had such a wonderfully soft bed that she could read in?
The books her Master had lent her were interesting reads, at least if you were interested in magic. To others they were probably dry and boring, but Cass would often read until she fell asleep on the pages. This section was particularly fascinating as it delved into the use of Components in magic.
Magic is the application of magic to alter and create systems which carry out the will of the caster, that was the basic concept. But there were shortcuts and ways to improve those systems, and the easiest way to accomplish either of those was by using Components.
The easiest example of this was candle wax. To create fire, a mage could manipulate the air to produce the reaction needed, but in truth, there was not much in the air that burned well. But by introducing mana to candle wax to vaporize it and combine it instantly with oxygen, a mage could create sizable explosions.
Her own experiment the following night proved that point when Cass decided to see how it would work using the candles in her new parlour. Fortunately, she was able to use magic to take the air from the fire and put it out, but she had utterly destroyed all the furniture in the room.
And when Hall came to find out what the noise had been he had taken one look at her and had started laughing so hard he had nearly fallen over. Once he had stopped laughing he promised Cass four things.
First, that she would get new clothes in the morning, so she didn’t have to worry about ruining her current outfit. Second, that he would continue to teach Cass about components on the trip. Third, that he would keep the punishment for ruining the parlour for later when he would get bored on the journey and fourth, that this next punishment would be something new. An advancement in his magical research, the ability to control human systems… As she looked at the charred stone, Cass realized the gulf between her and her Master. She could hardly control a fire while he played with people’s minds, now that she had context to understand the level of subtlety needed to perform his magic, she was simply awed.
On the other hand, even as she began to enjoy some of his cruelty, Hall could still find ways to torment her like no other. Cass thought that as she tripped over the hem of her new dress and cursed. It was beautiful, though in a far more reserved style than what was seen at court according to the dressmaker. Still, the sky-blue dress looked and felt elegant, to a point where she felt embarrassed to wear it. The slits in the dress didn’t help either. If she thought about it, the rags she had worn as clothes before had been far more revealing but there was something about this that just made her feel like she should be wearing pants.
That said, the lack of sleeves and the slits in the dress were intentional. According to the dressmaker, all the clothing her Master had ordered for her had to be something that someone could conceivably run, jump, and fight in. In theory, anyway. In practice, Cass was unused to moving in this kind of clothing and kept stepping on the hem or getting caught against something.
Still she forgot all about that when she saw Hall’s eyes sweep over her appreciatively and he complimented her. Cass decided she would learn to live with the dresses, although she prayed her Master would never ask her to wear those puffy ball gowns. They looked beautiful and pretty and Cass admired them, but she could never see herself in one and felt she would die of embarrassment if she did.
Preparations had been underway all morning, and they were to be setting out soon. Cass was excited, she had never left the city before, and during the trip she was free to monopolize Hall’s time. After all, they would be sharing the same carriage, the three observers from the army and another mage would take another.
Cass recognized her Master’s friend Vincent when he waved to her and she hesitantly waved back. Honestly, she was pretty sure her instincts had gone haywire lately. He seemed like a nice enough man, and Cass thought that her previous misgivings might have more to do with her Master’s possessive nature than any threat from Vincent.
The other subjects would be walking behind the carriages and they all wore collars similar to Cass’s. Though admittedly, there’s were of a much simpler variety. Cass’s collar forced obedience, not that it needed to, whereas the ones around the other kids necks simply caused pain on the command of a mage. She did feel a little sorry for Birdie, but not too much. As far as Cass was concerned her debt was paid, and the only time she felt a twinge of guilt was when she saw Rat, that is to say, Owen Rattan, leading the group. She thought about asking Hall if Birdie could ride with them, but she doubted he would agree. Cass remembered how months ago Hall had looked at her as little more than trash, and likely he felt the same about all the rest of the subjects.
Cass was happy she had managed to prove her worth. It was odd to consider that as a free woman, she had been a homeless dreg without value, and now as a slave, she was valued and rewarded.
The first day traveling was uneventful, but educational. She learned about using components, and specifically how to regulate and control the system to direct the magic as she wanted. Her Master even explained how to throw lightning! Though Cass was too terrified by the description to ever think of trying, and the conditions did not seem all that practical anyway…
That night, Cass was allowed to sleep in the carriage floor, while her Master slept on the seats that had been cleverly designed for the purpose. There was only room for one, but considering that even the army observers had to sleep in thin tents, Cass counted herself lucky. However, she found she was unable to sleep at all, he was too close… And… Well, her Master talked in his sleep! He didn’t say anything too interesting at first, just casual talk to people from his day to day life. Though Cass had shivers run down her spine when she heard him praise her magic but say that she had to be punished regardless… That feeling that rose in her when she heard him say that, she had wondered before if she felt it from the praise or if she was sick and felt it from hearing that she would punished.
That night, she decided the answer was both.
The following day, she had a hard time keeping her eyes open, even falling asleep while talking!
“I didn’t think I was that boring,” Hall smiled, but his eyes had a bit of dangerous glint to them. “Perhaps I should instead work on sleep magic, apparently I have a talent for it.”
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Cass bowed her head and apologized for dozing off, and rubbed her eyes hard. She could not believe she had done that, and the idea that her Master would think she would disrespect him…
“I am sorry Master, I did not sleep well last night.” Cass’s red eyes attested to the fact, “I hope you can forgive me.”
The glint in his eyes hardened, “I think it is better to give you a reason to stay awake, no? After all, this is the same kind of carelessness that led to you blowing up your own parlour.”
“Yes Master,” Cass felt eager, but she shouldn’t feel eager, why does she feel these things? “You had planned a new experiment after all, and I am yours to use.”
“Ah Cass,” Hall’s face softened. “For all the trouble you can cause with your curiosity, you are a good girl. Again, I can only put it down to a side effect of studying this system, but the impact you are having on me is an interesting thing to observe. So at the very least, I will make this educational for you.”
Now she was eager, any chance to learn more about her Master’s magic was a treat. She probably would not be able to replicate it, she would be lucky to barely understand it, but so long as she remembered it one day it would be useful to her.
Hall held out his hand to her and as Cass took it she gasped as pain filled her. But it was not near what Hall could do, true, a normal person would be on the floor screaming… But Cass had endured torture to the point where she had started to enjoy it, this level of pain hurt, but did not impair her. If anything, the world became sharper and clearer.
“I don’t think I have ever fully explained how my magic works,” Hall said casually. “But a rough explanation is that I trick your body into feeling things that are not happening by emulating the system and patterns found naturally in the body.”
Cass nodded, she understood that much, and was aware of just how massive an accomplishment that was.
“In many respects, it is a more subtle version of the magic used to make your collar,” Hall continued, reaching out to trace the collar around her neck. “And when it comes to training and breaking you, I came to realize something.”
Her Master leaned back and observed her as she sat silently, trembling occasionally in pain, fully awake and listening attentively and smiled. “Cass, I am going to ask you some questions. I won’t compel you to answer either, because it will be far more fun for me to see what kind of face you make as the words pass through your lips of your own will.”
“That you want something from me is compelling enough, Master.” Cass replied honestly. Cass was not sure what she would do if the collar was removed, if she was offered a chance at freedom. But the part of her that had screamed inside before and slowly shrunk and faded as she was broken was just barely able to worry that she would come back and put the collar back around her own neck. Aside from that small worried part of her, the rest of her seemed fine with that.
“Do you enjoy being hurt by me?”
This was a question Cass had been dodging in her own mind for a long time, she did not want to think about the topic… But…
“Yes Master,” Cass looked down, ashamed and unable to meet his eyes. But unwilling to disappoint Hall by refusing to answer. “I… I do.”
“And you enjoy being rewarded by me?”
This one was much easier, and far less troubling for her.
“Well of course, Master.” She looked up and smiled at him, “You thought so little of me to begin with, and I agreed with you. For you to tell me I have worth, I have no choice but to believe it, and I love the feeling it gives me.”
“Coming back around to my new theory on magic, it occured to me I was missing something.” Hall met her eyes and returned the smile. “Training and breaking you was not just pain, but also pleasure. Rewarding as well as hurtful. My magic can replicate the feeling of whips or burns or even biting your own tongue…”
As he said those things Cass felt each of them in turn, gasping and holding tighter to his hand.
“But to truly take your mind, what I was missing was.... This…”
The pain… Didn’t go away, but there was something else. Some of the pain left areas of her and was replaced by feelings of pleasure and it all mixed together in her head.
“M- Ma- Master…” Cass stuttered, this was… Bad. The punishments already messed with her head, but this broke any rational thought or shred of willpower. You can resist pain or deny pleasure, but trying to do both at once was more than Cass could bear.
“Ah, as always you do make the most pleasant expressions during my experiments.” Her Master’s voice sounded like it was coming through a fog, Cass could not concentrate as waves of feelings moved up and down her body. “This amount of pain you can handle with ease, but look at the results with just a little amount of pleasure mixed in…”
“Master.” Cass gasped, “Please… Stop…”
“This is your punishment in addition to my experiment,” Hall chided. “And you know begging me to stop is meaningless. I am surprised though, you have not done that for a while. This is more effective than I thought…”
Cass started to shake, her head was spinning, she didn’t know where she was anymore. But her Master was here. Suddenly, Cass found herself on his lap, wrapping her arms around him. It didn’t feel like she was saying these words, but they were words she wanted to say but had never had the willpower to do so.
“Cass..?” Hall was startled by the sudden movements, it was a testament to his confidence that even then he had not been worried for his own safety. And he had ever reason to be confident, she had not leaped on to him to attack.
“Master…” Cass was moaning, “Please… I want…”
In a flash, Cass was shoved back and an overwhelming wave of pain crashed down on her and she blacked out. When she came to, she was laid down on the seats that could be arranged as a bed while Hall sat across from her looking out the window. Cass sat up, and the last few moments before she had fainted came back to her and she turned bright red.
“Master…” Cass’s voice was timid, she was mortified by her own behavior. She had never meant to show that side of herself… “Please, forgive me…”
Hall waved his hand, still looking out the window. “There is nothing to forgive, I was testing out a new idea after all, I don’t blame you for it. I just was rather surprised by that reaction, it goes against all of my predictions.”
Rather than feel relieved, Cass felt even worse. One thing she knew about her Master’s magic is that it depended upon both the caster and the target. Her own fucked up feelings had ruined his experiment, she wasn’t fit to be a subject for his research any more…
“Master, I am sorry… But it is still my fault.” Cass explained her thoughts to her Master and found herself crying by the end. She wouldn’t be killed, but Hall would likely discard her. She would be sent off to serve the army, returned to little more than a dreg with some curiosity value. She didn’t want to go…
To Cass’s surprise, Hall moved to sit by her and put an arm around her. He had seen through her fear and reassured Cass that he would not be letting her go.
“You are mine,” Her Master said firmly. “And as you may have noticed, I am a possessive guy. I won’t be giving you to anyone else.”
“Thank you.” Cass whispered into his shirt, her Master had changed over the time she had known him. His cruelty from when they first met was still present, but as she had gotten to know him, and he, her… He was cruel and brutal, but sheltering and protective. He was viscous and angry, but also gentle and caring.
He had broken Cass down piece by piece and rebuilt her, and that reconstruction was like him as well. He had freed Cass to be curious, to grow and be confident and assertive, and he had also made certain that his every word would become law to her and bind her to him.
He was her Master, and she was happy to belong to him.
“Cass…” She basked in the warm feeling of being held, it was one she had never gotten to feel as a child, and she could not believe how wonderful it felt. “I am sorry as well, I did not realize that I had caused those kind of feelings within you. That is going to cause you pain that I would rather you avoided…”
This next question hurt, but she had to ask. “It is… Impossible, isn’t it?”
“I don’t think I have ever mentioned this before, but I was engaged to be married before I was even the age you are now.” Hall said gently, “A political marriage, to be sure, but still one I have to honor. Besides, that kind of relationship would not be healthy for either of us. I know that I have not explained what kind of life led to me having this degree of sadism, but it taught me that if I was to be in such an unbalanced relationship, any child would run the risk of becoming like me. And that is one thing I will never allow to happen. And on top of all that, you are too young. It would only be legal because you are a slave, and as property I can do what I want with you, but even for a sadist like me, I would find it amoral.”
Hall squeezed her tightly and said, “It is far better if you gave up those feelings, Cass.”