Cass’s face must have been particularly dreadful, because Maurice had taken one look at her and then hugged her. Like Hall, but in a far different way, Maurice had worn through Cass’s barriers and while she still stiffened instinctively when someone touched her, she would soon relax as Maurice held her. When Maurice let go, Cass felt vaguely regretful. Sometimes she wished that she could be held forever, but she knew better than that.
“Maurice,” Cass had already started crying as she looked up at Maurice with blurry eyes. “I think there is something wrong with me.”
Maurice held her and patted her back as Cass poured out her heart, it was something Cass had never experienced before. Despite the worry, anxiety, and fear that she was experiencing, being able to do this felt good. Almost painfully good, she started worrying that she was dreaming.
As she finished explaining her situation, she asked Maurice, “Why? Why do I feel like I want this? I can feel myself bending more and more every day, and I know I will break. But that isn’t what scares me…”
Cass buried her head in Maurice’s arms so that she wouldn’t have to look at her when she said her next words, ashamed of them. “What scares me is that this is making me happy, whatever my Master wants, I give to him.”
Maurice was silent for a while, and Cass nervously looked up to see her face. She almost backed away, the furious expression she saw was not one she had ever expected to see from the calm and gentle servant. Now, she looked as if it were not for her holding on to Cass, Maurice would have stormed off to confront Hall herself.
“That bastard…” Maurice swore, “I knew they had turned away from the Gods, but to think the Hall family had begun to serve the Devils.”
Cass was confused, “I don’t understand…”
Maurice pushed Cass to arms length and looked her straight in the eye, “Do not let yourself fall into this trap, Cass. Only a servant of the Devils would seek to spread pain and misery and make the victims come and ask for more, I will be here to help you and pray for you whenever you need me.”
Maurice was firm, and offering help, but Cass felt more lost. Her Master, Lord Hall, was not a good person, she knew that. But then, neither was she. Cass remembered times when she was sitting in a corner of the street, wishing that she had the courage to kill the child in the shadows near her just to take the half-eaten, rotten, vegetable that he had taken out of the trash somewhere. Cass had stolen, lied, and even beaten others to survive on the streets, and was often the targets of those things herself.
In some ways, Hall was better than her though. She only ever took from those around her, only brought suffering. But Hall was willing to reward her, he was not really evil, he was just cruel.
“I can tell what you are thinking,” Maurice said quietly. “But think about your life, you are only becoming attached to him because he offered you stability at a time you had none. Do you remember how good it felt to imagine a dream for the future? To believe in a purpose for your life? Would you throw that away to serve a sadist?”
Cass was startled, but Maurice’s point was accurate, except… “Maurice, it is true that I would love to pursue dreams, but reality is not so easy. In my heart, part of me agrees with you, but another part of me says that no one else would offer me even stability, much less praise and reward me.”
“This is why I said he served the Devils,” Maurice scowled, the ugly expression did not look right on her. “The Hall family separated from the Church, even accused and arrested priests on false charges! What Hall is doing to you… It could cost you your soul Cass!”
Cass had no idea that her Master had separated from the Church, and it did make her slightly uncomfortable. The Church, for all the leers she began to get towards the end from some of the priests, had given her support when she needed it most. Cass listened to their doctrine, and was not sure if she could agree, but she knew there were good people in it, who tried to spread happiness wherever they went. But she would leave that for now, she did not know enough about the situation, and… And she could not believe that Hall would be truly separated from the message of the Church of Light.
“Maurice,” Cass thought she would try another question, as her answers thus far had only increased her turmoil. “How should I keep to my dream? Day to day, it is so hard to remember it and to know what to do next.”
“Let me ask you a question instead, Cass.” Maurice’s face relaxed a bit, but was still stiff with concern. “When you think of your ‘master,’ what do you see in the future?”
“I- I don’t know.” Cass hadn’t thought about it. She supposed that if she just gave in she would follow Hall in whatever he decided. After telling Maurice as much, Maurice replied, “Isn’t that like having no future of your own at all? You paint a picture of serving your ‘master’ without having any thoughts of the next day, simply existing as a tool for him to pick up and use when needed. Is that what you really want?”
“No.” Cass had begun to devour books, tales of far off lands, of magical research, of creatures and cultures. And although she did not always know how to pursue it, the dream to end the kind of pain she had and was going through still existed within her. She wanted to see more, know more, experience more than the little bubble that was her world. “I want to learn and see everything I can, and I really do want to fulfill the dream I spoke of, but…” Cass bit her lip, “But I cannot leave, and I cannot escape. And even if I could, I am not sure that I would.”
Maurice had to leave to attend to her other duties, but she had said many things to Cass. Much like when she dealt with Lord Hall, she was never sure what to think. Maurice gave her nothing to guide herself towards the path she showed, but she did show Cass a path that she had never before imagined. Just as Hall gave her absolute guidance, but no path other than his own to follow.
Both of their ways seemed right, and they both seemed wrong and Cass was stuck between.
She had been given free reign to wander this area of the Imperial Center, although she was attended by guards the whole time, and she decided to take a walk to clear her head. It was coming towards the end of summer, but it was blisteringly hot still, especially inside the stuffy castle. Feeling a bit sorry for the guards in their armor, Cass quietly created a light breeze to keep the guards and herself cool as she walked.
In the hallway ahead, there were guards posted by a door, this surprised Cass as she had often gone through this way on her way to study with Lord Hall and she had never seen them before. Curious, she approached and asked them what they were doing.
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“We are guarding the test subject, lady mage.” The guard saluted and replied respectfully. Cass was shocked by the reaction, and stood there open mouthed for a few awkward seconds before gathering her thoughts.
“I don’t have a title, guardsman.” Cass indicated the collar on her neck, “I am merely a slave.”
“With respect Lady,” the guard bowed slightly. “Even as a slave, you are still noble. It would be beyond rude for me to not respect you as such.”
“Eh,” one of Cass’s guards chimed in. “She ain’t really a noble, just a kid offa the streets. Noble probably stuck it to her mother one or two times, but she is just a commoner, like us.”
Cass frowned slightly, while technically true she did not like the way he spoke. What value did he have after all? For the purposes of keeping track of Cass the guard could be replaced with a well trained dog! Still, on a social level, as a freemen he was above her, if only just, so she did not reply.
“Even if that is true, there is no reason to not be respectful.” The first guard replied, “Light willing, slavery should not exist in the first place, but it is not for me to question my betters. Leaving that aside, were you here to speak to the subject?”
A Church member, and a devout one too, that was a bit surprising. Although it was not her original intent, Cass indeed said that she wished to see the subject, who of course, was Rat.
The guard unlocked the door and entered with her, along with her two guards, making the room quite cramped. But Cass really did not want to be alone with Rat anyway, so she supposed it was fine.
“The mouse again…” Rat snarled, sitting on his bed. “I suppose I have you to thank for this? I wonder just how well you did them to convince them of this, I really missed an opportunity that night.”
He looked the same as ever, muscled, messy black hair and crooked teeth, but Cass was not really frightened anymore. Compared to the strength of Hall, or the emptiness of Evans, or even the anger that had poured out of Maurice just a while ago, Rat seemed weak.
“I did no such thing,” Cass replied coolly. “I am merely responsible for you surviving it. From what I understand of the plans for you, I would have thought you would be happy, Rat.”
“Responsible for me surviving?” Rat spat on the floor, “Don’t make me laugh. Just because the tests they did on you let them succeed with me, don’t think you can take credit. A trashy little mouse like you is only good for one thing.” Looking at Cass from head to toe, Rat grinned lewdly. “I have to say, you certainly fill out nicely, I can see almost see why that bastard would keep you around. But one day you will be screaming for me, you can believe that.”
Cass had enough, and used magic to pin Rat against the wall. Walking past the shocked guards, she raised her hand, forming fire much like Hall had once shown her. Rat’s face was priceless, Cass revealed in the stunned and fearful expression he was showing.
“First, I designed the very procedure that kept you alive.” Cass said sweetly, as she held the flames up to Rat’s face. “Second, just for the record, compared to Lord Hall, there is no way you could ever get me to so much as whimper.”
She extinguished the fire and released him from the wall, stepping back to observe him as he struggled to control his rage. Why had she felt proud thinking about her Master’s ability to hurt her? She really was losing control of her mind…
She shook her head to clear it, Maurice was right about one thing, she needed to look towards the future. And this was an opportunity to do that.
“Rat, our life on the streets is over.” Cass said quietly, “And that might not be a bad thing. I understand the process of what our new masters are doing, and honestly, your are too expensive to simply throw away. Unlike me, you do not have your own magic, so they will complete the procedures on you.”
“And your point?” Rat glared at her, but seemed to be curious overall.
“The point is that you will be the first person in the world to have these enhancements, a soldier with potential beyond any other ever seen.” Cass was not entirely sure of that, but Rat did not need to know that. “Resistance is futile, they will do as they want regardless. But if you agree to help, you could receive training, maybe even be allowed to join the army. You could have a real life, free of the streets.”
Cass was not sure why, but she felt that sharing this with Rat would help her future dreams. At the very least, she might be able to turn one thug and rapist into a somewhat productive member of society, although she doubted he would ever be a decent one.
“Just… Think about it.” With that, Cass turned and left. She wondered if her speech with Rat had been more inspired by Hall or Maurice, as she had felt like she was showing pieces of both of them at certain times. Maybe there was a middle ground, or perhaps an answer beyond what she could see right now.
Struck by a thought, she turned to her guards. “I have never thought to ask before, but am I allowed to request some things?”
“You are a slave,” The one who had spoken out earlier said. “And I ain’t about to take orders from a slave, but Lord Hall did tell us that if you needed somethin’ that we was to pass it on to the mages.”
Cass nodded, and asked if they would pass on a few requests for her. Several hours later, she was in front of the cell she had been put in at the start of this whole thing. She had been a different person then, and she would be a different person in the future. Slowly her timid and fearful demeanor was leaving her, the only question is what precisely would replace it.
“Is that… Cass?!” Birdie recognized her, which Cass found somewhat touching. Remembering one face out of the crowd months later, most street dregs wouldn’t bother.
“Good afternoon, Birdie.” Cass nodded, “I brought you guys some things.”
They were all, Birdie included, suspicious of Cass’s sudden claim. But that turned to shock when Cass began to hand out blankets and had bowls of thick soup for them.
“Wh-what… Why?” Birdie stammered, unable to believe or trust what she was seeing.
“There are a few reasons,” Cass replied with a smile. “But one of the biggest reasons is because I can. Why shouldn’t I share with you guys? We are not any different after all, I just was luckier than I had any right to be.”
That was all true, but Cass did have other reasons. She begged Maurice’s forgiveness in her heart, but she knew that she had been influenced too much by Hall to ever be what Maurice wanted. Even Cass’s attempt to help others took into account how to use them and how to make her Master’s life better. With the success of Rat, likely all of the orphans here would go through the same process, and before Cass knew what the success rate for the procedure was, she could only do what she could to make sure they lived. Also, she knew what it was like to be hungry, she knew what it was like to be cold. If she had the ability, why shouldn’t she do this?
The soup was rich, though by noble standards it would be considered bland and tasteless, to these orphans and homeless, starving kids, it was a feast. Some of the younger ones had started to cry after tasting it, and Cass knew how they felt. As Cass turned to leave, Birdie fell to her knees and thanked her.
“I- I am sorry tha’ I wante’ Rat to take yah instead of me.” She said, tears rolling down her cheek. The soup had been good, but that was not why Cass was getting this reaction from her. The blankets were thick and warm, and when you’ve felt the incredible pain that cold can bring, those blankets were a treasure more valuable than gold. Even in the heat of summer, the dungeons were perpetually cold, and when the sun fell at night it would be barely above freezing.
“You don’t need to apologize.” Cass said gently, “I was happy that he had chosen you that night instead. As I said before, we aren’t different, I was just lucky.”