Juniper

Days had gone by since I had heard from Min Jun. He had sent a late night text saying ‘Good Night, Sleep Well’, but that was it. I had texted him the day after I hadn’t heard from when I stayed over at his place, and his reply was short and simple.

[Min Jun] I’m doing good. Sorry, but I've been a bit busy with work. That was the last text he sent me about 4 days ago.

I thought I would have at least been able to hang out with him over the weekend, but that didn’t happen at all. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but it was too late. I thought things were going well between us but it seemed like he ghosted me. I really thought that he would have wanted to see me, especially since the time we spent at the bar. I may be thinking way too much into it. I had to take a step back and remember, he was not my boyfriend.

I decided to bury myself in work and try to get him out of my mind. I figured, maybe this was the best way it needed to happen between us before it got too serious. I don’t know if getting too close to him scared him, and I really didn’t know how to feel about it. Se-ra kept asking me throughout the day, when I was going to see him again and I really got tired of saying that he was busy with work. It sounded kind of sad really because I didn’t have any idea as to when I would see him again.

My feelings were strong and I had to keep them under control otherwise I would lose it. We didn’t have an agreement, we hadn’t even gotten that far to even come up with a conclusion that we would possibly date. We simply just danced around the flirtation stage with each other.

Day 4 and I was not feeling like dealing with a relationship again. I started thinking maybe I wasn’t the one he expected me to be. I kept coming up with reasons why he didn’t contact me. Reasons I believed to be no one else’s fault but my own. The work week had begun and I just immersed myself in the art project for the commercial. Thank goodness it was enough work to keep me busy. Se-r had agreed to be the face of the product therefore we had to shoot the commercial.

We decided to go to Jongmyo Plaza Park to shoot the commercial. It seemed like it would be a breeze to shoot the commercial but it wasn’t easy to say the least. We had to do so many takes, I felt as if it would take forever. I could tell Se-ra was getting tired of how long it was taking but she was a trooper, she didn’t complain once. I wanted to complain and I wasn’t even acting.

My phone buzzed and without looking, I answered the phone.

“Juniper.” I froze. It was Caleb. Shit. Fuck Me. I should have looked at the phone; I felt so dumb. I hadn’t heard from him in a long time. After the conversation with my mom last week, I hadn’t heard from anyone, especially him. He stopped calling me every day and switched it up to giving me a call every 3 days, and ironically today was the 3rd day.

“What is it Caleb? We have nothing to talk about.” I said dryly. I just wanted this conversation to be over as soon as possible.

“I’m actually surprised you answered my call. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“For what? There is nothing we need to discuss.” I said walking around in circles. Why couldn’t this have been my mother? Come to think of it, this could have been her doing.

“I just want to talk to you. I know you are upset with me and you have every right to be. I just want to know how you are doing and know that you are alright.”

“Well Caleb, to be honest you are right, I am upset with you. You Fucked My Step Sister! What the fuck nerve do you have calling me acting as if you are fucking concerned about me? What the fuck is wrong with you?” I started getting loud and people started to stare.

I was right back in the coffee shop. I don’t know how but Caleb had that effect on me; he had the ability to take me from zero to 10 in 0.2 seconds flat.

“Would you calm the fuck down? I’m just trying to see how you are doing? I know you left because of what I did but I wanted to say I’m sorry.” Did he really just say he was sorry? I looked at the phone with a bewildered look. Did this motherfucker just say he was sorry like it was going to immediately fix everything? I didn’t know how to respond. I started getting heated and I realized I had completely walked away from the area of where we were set up shooting the commercial.

“What the fuck is your problem dude? Did you actually think apologizing would fix everything? Did you think I would accept your sorry ass apology and everything would be okay?”

“No, you are a stupid motherfucker. I was apologizing for hooking up with your sister and you can’t even accept it. I know you’re upset but I admitted I was wrong, can’t you see that! We have so much history together, I don’t want to lose you.” I let out a big laugh. This motherfucker was more stupid than I thought. Did he think that he still had me? Did he really say call me a motherfucker? Did he really say he didn’t want to lose me?

“Are you fucking serious? Do you hear how stupid you sound?”

“You see, this is why we are having problems because you wanna be that type of bitch that won’t accept an apology when someone is being sincere. I’m the best thing that ever happened to you!” I took the phone away from my ear and hit the end button. I had had enough.

Not only did he call me a Bitch, he also said he was being sincere. I wasn’t about to entertain that conversation anymore with Caleb. He was a sick, twisted stupid motherfucker that I refuse to spend any of my energy or time on. My phone rang again as I walked back to the set, I just ignored the call. I couldn’t believe he had the audacity, the gumption, and the gall to call me.

When I got back to the area, they were packing up. Se-ra came over to me as she saw that I was not having a good day. I just wanted to go home and forget this day. It started off so whack, I had hoped it would get better, but I was completely wrong.

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“Juni, are you okay? I heard you yelling at your phone.” Se-ra said being concerned. I didn’t want her to worry, but she was my closest friend that I had since I moved to Seoul. I didn’t have anyone else for me to vent to, which made me miss home even more. I miss familiar faces and familiar things I would do. I started second guessing my decision to move.

“I’m good. I’m sorry.” I lied. I just couldn’t even bring myself to talk about him.

“You’re good? Really? You lie. You’re not good, you’re sad.” She said bluntly. That’s what I liked about her, she would call me out on my shit quick.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to deal with him, but he just keeps popping back up.” I said looking down at my phone. He was calling again. I just declined the call and sent him to voicemail. I decided I just needed to block his number, to avoid this all together. “It was my ex. He’s an idiot and an asshole.” I responded.

“Aren’t they all?” She said, making me smile. “Let’s go out tonight, let’s get you a drink.”

“Chicken and Beer?” I said. She knew how to cheer me up.

“Chicken, beer and Soju!” She responded. I think it’s time for a nice pick me up. I can’t allow my emotions to be in control of what I do and don’t do. I’ve come this far and I don’t want to give up on the opportunities I have here, I needed to put them in check for real.

Se-ra and I hit the bar and had as much chicken, beer and soju we could possibly have before we would become totally smashed. We both had to work the next day therefore we had to call it a night around the 10 pm hour. We shared a cab to make sure we both got home because I’m sure I would have fallen asleep on the train.

By the time I got home, I honestly was drunk. I couldn’t believe that I made it in my apartment. I totally collapsed on the couch as I was done and didn’t care at that moment. I laid on my back looking up to the ceiling. Why doesn’t anyone want to love me for me? I couldn’t come up with the answer.

My phone rang and I was thinking about not answering it. I didn’t want to talk to Caleb or Min Jun. I rejected the call. I’ll let the voicemail pick it up. The person left a voicemail and then my phone rang back again.

I rejected it again. I really didn’t want to talk to either one of them, even though I couldn’t confirm it was either of them calling. The person was very persistent because they called right back. I had to sit up and look at my phone. My heart became elated, it was my best friend, Chanel.

“Chanel!” I screamed as I answered the phone.

“Bitch, it’s about time you picked up the motherfucking phone! I’ve been calling you and you straight up have been sending me to voicemail.” She said. “How you been honey?”

“I’ve been better, but I’m so happy to hear your voice.” I said. “I need you so much right now.”

“You been drinking Juni?” She said. She knows me so well.

“Yeah, I’ve had a rough couple of days. And then that motherfucker called me.”

“Oh shit, yeah, he’s been calling me too trying to find out where exactly you are.” She said.

I heard some voices behind her and they were not speaking English. I got quiet and stopped breathing so I could hear better. I heard a few people talking in the background.

“Bitch, where are you?” I asked being curious.

“I’m where I’m at.” She said being sly.

“Chanel, you know what I mean, where the fuck are you?” I asked her again.

“I’m in Seoul.”

“Bitch you lying!” I said, getting excited.

“Bitch, I’m not!” I heard her getting excited. I jumped up and both of us started screaming. I had to stop because I was in my apartment and I didn’t want people thinking the American was getting killed.

“When did you get here?” I asked.

“I just landed. I’m trying to get my bags now.” She replied

“Where you staying? Why are you here? How long are you staying?” A bunch of questions flew out of my mouth.

“My job sent me here, I’ll be here for about a week and half. We are trying to set up a satellite office, so if things go well, I may just be here with you.” I damn near fainted. The stars have aligned, they sent me a guardian angel, my best friend.

“Stop lying!” I said.

“Nope, when they said they needed someone to come out to Korea, I was the first one to put my bid in because I couldn’t let my girl stay out here alone. You know I got your back.” I loved this girl. We’ve known each other since elementary school and we have been thick as thieves. She was the only one who knew exactly where I was, I didn’t tell anyone.

“So where are you staying?” I asked

“Girl, they put me up in a nice ass hotel from what I can tell. It’s called the Grand Mercure Ambassador Hotel.” My eyes bulged out my head.

“That’s right up the street from me!” I said.

“For real? Well bitch meet me over there, I’m on my way!” She screamed. I jumped up and started to get my stuff together. I might be tore off at the moment, but my girl was in town and I didn’t give a flying fuck. I needed to see her. I needed to see my sistah-girlfriend. I needed to have some familiarity near me. I was going through a lot of shit and trying to figure it out and had no one to bounce it off of. I will be tired as fuck at work tomorrow, I thought, but this will be well worth it.

“Bitch, you ain’t said nothing but a word!” I will be there waitin’ on yo ass!”

“Ok, well bring yo ass! I’ll see you there. I got my bag and they got a car for me, so bitch, be on yo way!” She said and hung up.

I knew it would be a minute for her to get to the hotel as she had to fly into Incheon International, so the drive will be about an hour or so, take a few minutes. I had time to get ready. I figured I would be staying at the hotel because I wasn't coming back, so I could go to work from there. I decided to pack a few things, an outfit for work tomorrow, a pair of sneakers as I was not going to try to wear any heels, I would need to be very comfortable.

After I grabbed all of my essentials, I grabbed my phone, charger and dashed out the door. I decided to walk to the hotel because it would be around a 30 minute walk from my apartment building anyway. It would give me something to do and instead of me taking a taxi and having to wait until she arrived. I figured by the distance between her riding in a car and me walking, we should arrive around the same time, with me arriving early and her shortly after. It was a nice night out anyway and I needed to clear my head. Just the thought of seeing a familiar face got me excited, as I walked down the street, I started smiling.

While I walked down the street, I could have sworn that I saw Min Jun driving along the way in the other direction. I wasn’t sure, as he also had a woman passenger. Again, I had to get my thoughts together because I had to remind myself, I am not in a relationship with Min Jun therefore he can be with whomever he wants. I just want some clarity and confirmation that what I thought was wrong and that we are not moving forward in any kind of relationship. I shook it out of my mind and kept walking as my mind played tricks on me. I figured, if he wants to get in contact with me, he knows how.

As I got closer to the hotel, I realized the walk took me about 45 minutes and I started getting anxious and excited all together. I couldn’t wait to see my bestie. She had been there for me since we were little, and I have been there for her the same way. I stood out in front of the hotel waiting for her car to arrive and after about 20 minutes, a nice black Lexus suv drove up to the hotel. The back door opened and there she was, Chanel Jenkins, my best friend for life.

“Chanel!” I screamed and she looked around. A grin graced her face.

“Juni!” She screamed and we ran toward each other and greeted each other with an embrace. We started jumping up and down, not caring if we were being stared at. The driver was removing her luggage by the time we finished.

“Oh girl, it’s so good to see you.” I said almost getting emotional.

“Now bitch don’t you go crying on me cuz then my ass would start.” She said, grabbing her bag. We would always cry together, no matter what the situation, which meant we would cry at the drop of a hat. We laughed and we walked inside the hotel. Tonight was going to be a long night of us catching up.