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My Stupid Heart
Chapter 19

Chapter 19

*Mason’s POV*

As I walk through the school hallway, I stop when I smell a somewhat stale odor, a scent I have smelt a couple of times. Deciding to follow it, it leads me to an empty classroom and I open the door, my gaze moving to the figure who’s standing next to the window across the room. As they gaze into the distance, they smoke, adjusting their leather jacket that’s worn over a black shirt.

“Brian,” I mutter, closing the door behind me.

His brown eyes meet mine as he puffs on a cigarette in his hand, stuffing his empty hand in the pockets of his black ripped jeans; his gaze moving to the floor. “What do you want, Mason?”

Noticing the huge gap between us, I take a few steps closer, gulping a breath. “Brian, I’m so sorry.”

He abruptly frowns at my words as he brings his cigarette to his lips, looking indifferently at me a second later. “...Why is that so?”

“Because you don’t deserve to be hurt.”

He pauses, a chuckle escaping his lips afterwards. “What bullshit are you spouting?”

“...Huh?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” Brian states, taking a drag of his cigarette and exhaling. Honestly, what the fuck is he talking about?

“…I guess I have to spell it out for you,” he says.

Brian turns to face me, moving his cigarette away from his lips and dropping his hand to his side. “You hate me. It’s so fucking obvious so don’t act like this is some sort of misunderstanding between friends.”

I look at him quizzically as I take a step closer to him, cautiously avoiding the smoke in the air. “What are you talking about? I’ve never hated you.”

He gives me a doubtful look, playing with the cigarette. “Just be honest with me. I’ve heard the rumors. Rumors that say you and Liam hate me. Well… it was certainly obvious you two did but I wanted to check it out for myself, which was why I provoked you yesterday. And the results proved my point.”

I scowl, the realisation dawning on me. So that’s why he laughed when I told him to shut up. Anyway, these kinds of things are what make me want to take a plane and immigrate to the dark abyss of no return. I still wonder why I haven’t.

“...Why am I even saying this? You don’t even care,” Brian mutters to himself, bringing back the cigarette to his lips, a strange look forming on his face. Why… does he seem hurt?

“Brian, please don’t put words in my mouth,” I state and he stares at me, his eyebrow raised.

“...Do you mean literally or…?”

It’s almost a whisper but hearing it makes me laugh, my arms wrapping around my stomach as I lean against the wall, my voice echoing in the classroom.

“...What’s so funny?” Brian questions, the cigarette smoke causing me to choke on my breath.

“I’ve never seen that side of you. It’s… interesting,” I manage to muster as I fan the air.

“What am I? An artwork at some museum?” Brian questions as he drops his hand to his side again.

“No! It’s just that you’ve only shown your hot-tempered and rude side. It’s like unwrapping a gift that is something you love but was wrapped in an ugly wrapping paper.”

His gaze lingers on me, his face softening. “Is that so?”

“Yep! You’ve never opened up to me but it’s your choice if you want to,” I say, taking a step closer. “And seeing you like this makes me realise that you’re not as bad as I thought you were.”

“...How bad did you think I was?”

“...Well,” I begin, smiling cheekily. “you are that one kid that mothers tell their children not to socialize with because they’re a bad influence.”

“What about now?” he asks, crossing his ankles.

“You have good intentions since… your facade is impressive.”

His eyes widen and he opens his mouth but shuts it, clenching his empty hand into a fist.

“...How did you know?” he says underneath his breath and I shrug, shoving my hands in my pockets.

“To be honest, it was convincing and you gave me bad boy vibes if you know what I mean, but it’s just a stereotype and in real life, no one’s personality is exactly off a stereotype.”

His fingers pass through his hair like some typical bad boy, something that he may have practised, and he takes a puff off his cigarette, his gaze serious.

“...Then what do you truly think of me?”

I lean on the table beside him and shrug. “I can’t tell you since you’re not showing your real self, are you?”

Brian stares at me before looking forward, smoking again. Honestly, I would’ve been dumb if I hadn’t noticed Brian’s acting. Maybe he should take it on professionally.

“Understood. But can you… not tell anyone about it?”

“That you’re pretending to be someone you’re not?”

He nods as I cough, fanning the smoke in the air. “If you give me a good reason to, I’ll consider it,” I offer, moving incredibly close to him with the brightest smile.

He looks at me doubtfully before letting out a sigh, putting his hand on my head and lightly pushing me away. “Fine, I’ll write a heartfelt speech of… what I feel about our friendship.”

“I’ll love to read it,” I exclaim, opening my bag to tear a piece of paper and handing it to him with a pen. Brian puts the paper on the teacher’s table, holding onto his pen as his hand hovers over the paper.

“...Should it be sappy, emotional, or… really formal?” he asks, his gaze still on the paper.

“That’s your call,” I answer bluntly.

He replies with a nod and scribbles efficiently onto the paper with a serious look. Seeing this, I take a peek at his writing out of curiosity. To my surprise, his handwriting is flawless, legible and it resembles a neutral font. How… elegant?

Soon, he’s done and he hands it over to me, crossing his arms as he stares at the floor. Is he… possibly embarrassed? I read the paper thoroughly, chuckling to myself when I realise that it’s a formal letter. Maybe that’s why he seems embarrassed?

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

Dear Mason,

I am writing to explain my thoughts about our friendship.

To be frank, I have never hated hanging out with you and Liam. Though you guys hate me, you weren’t outward with it like most people were. And I wanted to keep it that way. Despite that, when I heard what you said about Lily, I thought she was a bad person to you and it got me angry, which was why I called her those names, insulted her when I was wrong all along.

Our bound-to-end friendship has already met its end but thank you Mason for dealing with my bullshit. I know I’m the worst an insufferable person to be around which is why I’ll leave on my own accord. I won’t trouble you anymore and I will definitely go and apologize to Lily. For Liam, please tell him that he was an interesting fellow person to be around and I’ll definitely cherish the memories we had, including the ones we made together as friends. Just so you are clear, I never intended to hurt either of you and if I did, I’m incredibly sorry.

Yours sincerely,

Brian

My grip on the paper tightens, and I look at Brian. Why… is it so emotional? And why are there tears in my eyes? Then, from the corner of my eye, he picks up his bag that’s leaning against the table and reaches for something in it, pulling out a desert box and handing it to me. “I happened to pass by a store so… here.”

With a ‘thank you’, I willingly take it, opening it to see it filled with cookies and cream desserts. He… knows they’re my favourite. Since when though? Had he noticed and… did he really feel that way about Liam and me? A smile grows on my face, warmth filling my heart as I abruptly tear up. No one other than Austin, Bethany, Lily and her parents have ever gotten me a gift.

“Wait, why are you suddenly crying?” Brian questions as he looks at me worriedly, his hand moving frantically.

“...I didn’t know you were so nice,” I snob as he gives me a confused look.

“I’m… nice?”

“Yep! Anyway, I’ll keep your facade a secret since your letter was not only formal, but incredibly emotional.”

“...Is that a compliment?”

“Of course!” I reply with a smile as Brian lets out a sigh of relief. “Also, I’m sorry for hurting you Brian. Especially since a part of your cheek is still a bit red.”

“It’s fine, and you don’t have to apologize for it and that.”

“…What exactly do you mean by ‘that’?”

“I’m talking about my red cheek. You didn’t cause it after all.”

Hearing his words, I can’t help but stare at his wound. So it wasn’t me, but it was probably that person’s doing. Anyway, I’m glad he forgave me and isn’t internally hurt by what I did to him.

There’s a comfortable silence afterwards as I enjoy the desserts Brian gave me which is incredibly delicious, offering some to him until he says yes which he reluctantly does so. He asks for my water bottle and when I give him the green light, he heads to a dustbin in the room and pours the tiniest bit of water on the cigarette over it, putting the cigarette out. I smile as he leans next to me against the table again while twirling the cigarette in his hand, humming happily to myself not long after. I not only have one, but two bags of cookies and cream desserts! Can this day get any better?

“…We should probably head to class now,” he states even though we’re already around 10 minutes late.

I reply with a nod and we exit the classroom. Unconsciously, I stop and turn around to see Liam and Austin crouching next to the classroom door, our eyes meeting.

“…What are you two doing here?”

Brian too turns around, a shocked expression written on his face as he sees them.

“We were stalking you two. But Mason,” Austin says, as he clasps his hands. “you’ve grown so much-”

“Do not even finish that sentence mom,” I disgustedly state.

He instantly gives me a deadpan look, crossing his arms as he faces Liam. “As you can see, he’s a jerk.”

“If I’m a jerk, then what are you, you parasite?”

“I’m obviously just a normal civilian working for a living and… why do you keep staring at me?”

Following Austin’s gaze, Liam and I turn to Brian whose hand is placed on his chin.

“Sorry if you found it uncomfortable but… weren’t you that fox who sold me the cigarettes when someone asked you to just pass them to me?”

I eye Parasite critically, crossing my arms as I wait for his answer; Parasite avoiding Brian’s gaze.

“...I do remember that day. My apologies Mr Allen-”

“Don’t call me that,” Brian bellowed before clearing his throat, his gaze elsewhere. “What I mean is… I’ll prefer it if you call me by my name.”

We all stare at Brian in total silence, Brian flinching once he looks at us.

“Brian…” I begin, bringing my hand to my mouth. “since when were you such a softie?”

I hug him tightly as he stands there frozen, exaggerated sobs escaping my lips.

“I know right?” Austin says as he snivels dramatically, brushing back the top part of his red hair that is tied down. “You are the light to my world, the sun to my moon, the gravity to my earth, the alkaline to my acid, the water to my fire and the stars that shine ever so consistently.”

I can’t help but crouch onto the floor and laugh unrestrainedly, Brian’s looking at him mortified. And of course, there’s Liam looking who stares detachedly at us as he stands up, but at least he’s clapping at our beautiful performance.

“...You guys are weird,” Brian musters after a while, Austin standing up afterwards.

“Why call us weird when you put on a facade?”

I immediately stop laughing at his words, the hall silent as Brian turns serious.

“So you were listening…” he mumbles to himself, wrapping his arms around his stomach. Actually, since when was he so open? I’m glad he is though.

“Yeah… sorry,” Austin apologizes as Liam nods to what he said. “Pretty boy and I will keep it a secret. In exchange-”

Austin practically jumps as he wraps his arm around Brian’s shoulder with a cheeky smile. “Can I join the friend group?”

“Well…” Brian says, his gaze on the floor. “Mason and Liam probably don’t want me to be-”

“I told you not to put words in my mouth,” I restate, as I run in front of them and stop. “And I do like Austin’s proposal. What about you Liam?”

Liam walks up to Austin, their gaze meeting the others for a short while.

“Pretty boy agrees,” Austin announces after a second. Okay… am I supposed to not question how the fuck they just communicated? Are they perhaps telepaths?

“Stop thinking of something absurd,” Austin points out to which I let out a sigh at.

“Anyway, what do you say Brian?”

He looks at the floor as he contemplates, a small smile forming on his face as he huffs.

“I guess.”

Austin and I look at each other, our faces lighting up and I wrap my arm around Brian and Austin does the same for Liam.

“Where should we sneak off to?” Austin asks.

“We can go to Lola’s Cakes!” I suggest and Liam and Austin nod at my suggestion, everyone turning to Brian.

“...Why do you guys stare at me like that? And I’m fine with anywhere to be honest.”

With this, we begin to walk out of school as Brian throws his cigarette into the trash.

“Don’t you want to smoke?” I question as Brian shakes his head, his gaze meeting mine.

“I’m not in the mood,” he responds and I nod. Oh… so that’s why he smokes.

Chuckling to myself, I race to my bike, hearing my friends’ footsteps quicken as they run behind me, a big smile forming on my face as I look back at them. I can’t believe I’ve just made my first group of friends, and neither can I wait to hang out with them. For the first time with the not so ‘almost friends but will always stay as apprentices’ friend group, I hope we can be friends for eternity.

•••

After going to Lola’s Cakes and enjoying some desserts while chatting, we return to school and get scolded. At the end of the day, Brian and I are both finally sent to detention for the week. Well, I don’t care much since Brian and I prank the teacher the whole time due to how bored we are. Afterwards, I unfortunately get scolded by Lily and have to apologize continuously before she accepts my apology. And just like that and before I know it, three days pass by and it’s already Saturday, the day I’ll be taking a short trip back to uptown Anthon.

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Lily's Playlist

• Windy Day by Helios Relaxing Space

• Melancholy by Helios Relaxing Space

• Dandelions by Ruth B

• The Other Side by Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron

• At My Worst by Pink Sweat$ feat. Kehlani

• N/A

Mason's Playlist

• The Other Side by Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron

• At My Worst by Pink Sweat$ feat. Kehlani

• N/A