My mom was a sucker for everything romance.
In our household, movie nights were frequently spent on the newest find in her vast collection of romcoms she had stowed in her personal library. Didn't matter the occasion - be it day, night, rain, shine - she never grew tired fawning and cooing over a new favorite pairing.
Looking back now, knowing who she really is… yeah, Terestra had some pretty vanilla pastimes.
You'd think maybe the literal manifestation of malevolence would prefer kicking babies in the faces as a hobby or something but no - love was in the air apparently.
I suppose I should be grateful to her, actually. The many nights watching fictional characters be all lovey-dovey with each other wasn't for nothing after all.
The fabled 'first date' was a staple in romance movies ever since the dawn of romance movies.
Having witnessed the sacred act beyond the border of a camera lens many times over, I was essentially a master in the ins and outs of dating.
In theory, that is.
Out in the field, actually participating in said act, was a whole 'nother matter entirely.
I'm not entirely sure walking laps around town counts as actually going out on a date… so why the hell are we already on lap two?
Attempted to strike up a conversation once.
"Come to think, where did Ria and Adalia run off to?"
"Mistress Ria was keen on visiting a friend nearby, she claimed. The Matriarch… she shared the same sentiment."
"Oh yeah? Anyone we know?"
"I… I suppose so. Mr. Black and Mrs. White… it seems they have taken to them quite well…"
"Ahh… yeah - yeah, they did."
First conversation wasn't much of a promising start, so I went for it twice.
"How's Asteria treating you, Ash? Been playing much lately?"
"No, not exactly. I find it still very much bewildering… even as I continue venturing forth. I've withheld playing again for now… it is much to take in so fast, it's rather discomforting."
"Oh… I'm sorry to hear that."
"Don't be."
Blundered the second try as well. Would have gone for a third, and I probably should have if I wanted to break the silence between us… but I've read a dictionary, I knew what the definition of insanity was - I ain't all eager to go down that route.
It's all good though. Everything was already prepped and ready, Ria had already handed me the blueprints for the perfect date. All I gotta do was adhere the rest of the day to this plan of hers.
We had a bit of a discussion sometime last night - the zoo was a definite no-go, as was that evening carnival trip. Zoo's in the next town over, and carnivals weren't exactly a dime in the dozen round these parts.
The only thing she suggested that was grounded in the realm of possibility was that dinner date at a restaurant, so we hopped on that bandwagon, called the fanciest schmanciest place in town, and booked a reservation for two at exactly five in the evening.
The conundrum I was facing now was that there were still three full hours of downtime to kill before the appointed time, and I wasn't exactly brimming with options here to spend them on.
Actually, wha - I don't even have a blueprint! Hell was I saying? It's more like a small torn out piece of a blueprint if anything. Plan? What plan?
We're lapping the same freaking shopping complex for the third time already. I swear, if I see that building one more I'm gonna…
"How about we go in there, Ash?"
Ash turned her focused gaze to the direction I pointed, her eyes soaring upwards to the looming scale of the building that stood before her.
"I recognize this structure," She remarked. "I've always wondered of the wonders it must contain within. Why, I must have passed it a dozen times during my first few days in your care, before… before the incident occurred."
Didn't dare tread further into more harrowing memories, goodness knows we have too much of that already. Instead, the present here and now, was what I intend to focus on today.
In a spur of ignited audacity, I grabbed hold of her wrist, coyly smirking while pulling her along towards the entrance.
She jerked back at first. "Master, what are you - ?"
"First time for everything," I said in response to her startled expression. "How about we go find out together, hmm?"
Immediately following my statement, I stopped feeling any more resistance from Ash. Her arm along with herself, she permitted to be pulled inward by me past the automatic sliding doors and into the extravagant space that was the shopping complex's front entrance.
Come to think of it… pretty sure this was Ash's first time in one. The outdoor one proved a glorious success when it came to cheering her up. How would the indoor version fare, I wonder?
Judging by her stare, widening by the second, mesmerized by all there was to see, I'd say it's doing quite well for itself.
Maybe… maybe walking around enjoying the sights wasn't all that bad of an idea after all if it could get her to be looking so riveted at something so mundane as an escalator… speaking of which -
"You've never been on one of those yet either, have you?"
"Those self-moving staircases, you mean? The one with people on them?" She shook her head. "No, never…"
"Hurrah for first times, then," I said, grinning again, taking hold of her hand once more.
Off we went again to find another mesmerizing sight.
Turns out there was a lot of them contained within these polished walls. Ash leaned over the guardrails of the escalator, craning her head so much and so fast that just watching her was enough to make my own neck stiff.
Second floor, third floor, fourth… there were many first times to be had everywhere we went. It's rather endearing seeing her try to restrain her enthusiasm over the most trivial of things maintaining a standard of elegance and grace that was expected of a Knight such as herself.
Unfortunately for her, those ears on her sides don't really hold any lies well. No hoodie on her head meant they were free to wriggle and squirm about unabated. It was actually quite a helpful indicator when it came to finding out the things that would intrigue her.
And everything intrigued her.
All the flashing lights, the whirring of machines, all the wondrous accessibilities presented to the public thanks to the era of modern civilization.
She never asked for anything, never once did she tug on my shoulder to inquire about any strange artifacts she came across. It wasn't like before when striking a conversation came as easy as snapping one's fingers.
Still very reserved, still very much holding back.
Not on my watch.
It was me now that began tugging at her shoulder. It was me now that both questioned and answered, trying to make her guess what device does what and explaining their purpose.
A pop quiz in the spur of the moment made for some entertaining few minutes.
It was fun walking into a random outlet, pointing at a random object, and seeing what random bizarre answer she'd come up with.
A microphone in the music store became a 'hilt of a sword'.
Mannequins. Those creepy, faceless things, Ash simply referred to as just 'Unsettling', which, to her credit, wasn't entirely inaccurate. Plus point for her I suppose.
At a toy store, browsing through, looking for the next big thing to test her on, out of nowhere I spotted a model replica of a garbage truck sitting atop a shelf.
I could practically feel myself sprouting some devil horns and tail as I turned around to face Ash smiling stupidly like a dumb kid in a toy store.
"Hey, Ash…" I muttered to her already mortified expression, knowing what was to come next.
"Oh no..." She whispered, shaking her head. "Master, don't - "
"I think this store might have a monster in it."
"Oh by the Gods, why…"
"Here, got you a sword here," I proclaimed, flourishing a plastic blade out from a rack full of the stuff. "Now go forth! Attack! Slay the fearsome creature, my good knight."
Ash, plainly unamused, had chosen to instead abandon the poor unfortunate store clerks and their customers to their harrowing plight, marching right out the store without so much as another word.
Looks like the elusive garbage truck gets to live another day.
Next up on the list was an impromptu visit to the game center on the sixth floor, this time under Ash's request.
The clamor and chimes blaring from the speakers was something she picked up on right away back at the ground floor - unsurprisingly, growing curiosity had wandered her over past the flashing neon lights hanging above the entranceway and into a minefield of both sight and sound.
The entire place was basically one big overload on the senses. It nearly overwhelmed her keen hearing - the crackling sounds of gunfire, the sonorous boom of a grenade, the sudden kick of a car engine's throttle - it was just her luck that she accidentally went stumbling into the arcade section.
Admittedly, it did feel kinda nice swooping in to save her from all the racket, guiding her along to a section that was far more lenient on her delicate sensibilities.
Like for example, the claw machines, which I swear were rigged due to the fact I blew ten bucks over one and haven't won a single prize at all.
Life just ain't fair man.
Then Ash, hastily recovering from the shellshock, took the reins and got herself a bunny plushie first try without any assistance whatsoever.
Yeah, life really ain't fair at all. That was the same plushie I was trying to win her.
"Here you go, Master," She said, walking up to my dispirited self and stretching out the bunny doll on one hand "It's the one you wanted, yes?"
Look, I knew she meant well. The sincerity in her voice just further affirms it. But really I felt so goddamned patronized having to take the plushie from her with a gratitude that I was far from feeling at all.
Nevertheless, I just smiled and nodded. "Why, thanks Ash! That's so nice of you - wow!"
Ash smiled back, my tone of voice evidently going right by her head. "No trouble at all, Master."
Just smile the pain away, yeah. You'll survive.
Hopefully.
Our little expedition to discover what the mall had to offer came to an abrupt halt at the seventh and last floor, and by that point, the layout of the shopping complex in its entirety had already become ingrained into our skulls, with much of the three-hour downtime whittled down to a measly one.
One hour left, and the question and answer game that I've so heavily relied on up till now has been milked dryer than a corporate cow.
It served its purpose well enough, more than I could have hoped for actually. Slowly, surely, and gradually, Ash crept out of her little hidey-hole, not minding much anymore on letting her true feelings show without stifling down with a constant air of reluctance.
I'd very much like to keep this momentum going, but the question was - what else is there to do in an hour's time?
We kept our pace slow, keeping light conversation about the intrinsic properties of cheese and its vast potential as an ingredient to be used in pretty much every single food product, which for some reason fascinated her to no end, while in the meantime my head scrounged about itself doing its utmost to come up something worthwhile to do before I run out the capabilities of cheese.
There's only so much that curdled milk can do for a discussion after all, and sadly it wasn't very good as a conversation piece, gets a bit too cheesy after a while.
Thankfully, God must have been in a giving mood today, for just as soon as I emptied my admittedly short canister of cheese-related facts, the answer to all life's problems came barging before my very eyes like a car crash in slow motion.
Literally.
Two vehicles barreling towards each other at high speed - that was my solution.
We came to a stop outside another expansive outlet, and Ash, a slave to her intrigue, slowly approached the sign hung above the entryway, her eyes squinting to better decipher the words displayed in a dazzling glare of neon lights.
She tried.
"Super Bu… hmm, bum - bumper? Whatever is a bumper, I wonder?"
Ash didn't let herself wonder for long, a second later, she spun her inquiring eyes towards me and I, the all-knower of all things mundane, could only oblige.
"It's kinda like a car," I said.
Her ears perked up at once. "Cars, you say?"
"Yep," With a little a smirk, and a finger pointing forward, I directed her eager eyes onward. "Bumper cars."
Boom went another heavy collision, a reverberating echo of both metal and laughter gracing her twitching, wiggling ears, which further intensified, as she finally sighted the blocky-moving thing in action - spinning, drifting, crashing into walls and other blocky-moving lookalikes alongside with.
If disbelief could be calculated then Ash had already far surpassed any form of measurement it could possibly have.
I don't think she was even aware that she was moving again. It was as if the rumble of the bumper car's motor naturally compelled her towards its whirring embrace.
Against all odds, she actually managed to catch herself in time, settling herself by the sidelines before she could become an accessory to vehicular manslaughter because let's face it, if a car were to hit Ash, it won't be the passenger or the driver coming out of that crash scene unscathed…
Anyway, I drew up beside her, leaning my hands against the guardrails, expecting to hear some 'wow's and breathless 'ooo's of amazement, but no - Ash was too into it to even make a sound. Captivated by the runway of non-stop high octane blitz of motor engines.
Sometimes I could never tell what she was thinking. Other times it was simply clear as day. There were some days where I'd confused the sometimes with the other times and ended up with disastrous results.
Today, this time, was not one of those times.
It'd take a bigger idiot than me to mess this one up.
"I remembered one time you asking me if you'd ever get the chance to ride one on your own someday."
Ash untethered her focus from the chaos, slowly turning her gaze over my way to find that a smile of encouragement awaited her.
"You still feel the same?" I asked.
The glimmer in her eyes, the continuous twitching on either side, they spoke her answer far better than her voice ever could.
"I do."
Bumper cars here were fortunately the two-seater types. One sits the passenger all snug and nice, while the other takes control of the mayhem machine and wreaks havoc in the field.
Instantly I knew which part was tailored for whom. I took my place, buckled in my seatbelt, and looked over past the vacant seat beside me where the steering wheel still sat empty, it's driver just over yonder, standing in place, uncertainty filling her emerald eyes.
"Master, I'm not so sure of…" She slightly adjusted the helmet on her head. "You mention it's no different from riding a horse?"
"Practically the same thing," I piped back. "Only just a bit faster… and no saddles."
Despite my assurances, Ash still looked on at me with a dubious stare. "I'm not sure I believe you…"
"Only one way to find out then, I suppose." I urged her on again. "Now or never, Ash."
An opportunity such as this wasn't something she'd pass up on so easily. Never say never and sure enough, one deep breath later and out surfaced a determined look on her face, braving a march forward, taking her rightful place by my side and gripping the steering wheel with both hands tight.
She was like a mixture of anticipation and trepidation rolled into one. Couldn't help but feel a little bad seeing the helpless state she was in. Probably should have given her a refresher course beforehand.
Welp, got a thirty-second countdown - better late than never.
"You got two pedals down by your feet," I said, pointing them out to her rapidly shifting eyes. "See them?"
Ash frantically nodded her head, desperately clinging on to my every word. "Yes, yes, I do… what purpose do they serve?"
"Left one's to accelerate, right one's to stop and reverse. You use the steering wheel to move around. Simple enough, right? Any questions?"
"This is not a horse, Master!" Ash exclaimed.
"No questions then, alright!" I smiled, faced myself forward, and braced for impact. "Let's go!"
The blare of the buzzer signaled our start and Ash, in a state of panic stomped hard on the gas pedal, sending us propelling across the entire arena and crashing into the nearest wall.
If that wasn't enough, our little mishap painted a bullseye over our little bumper car, our opponents sensing fresh meat in their domain.
The rumble of many, many engines drew closer and closer to our position.
For our sake, I decided to offer a piece of advice to my fumbling driver. "Think this is the part where you move us out of the way, Ash."
"Pedals!" She spouted out helplessly. "Horses do not have pedals! Master, this contraption is beyond my control!"
"Well yeah it's outta control you still got your foot on the go pedal!" I said. "Push it on the other one, Ash. Slam it down - wait no, don't slam it down! Do it slow - SLOWLY!"
Again, Ash smashed her foot on the reverse, flinging us so far and so fast towards the opposite direction that I'm surprised the sound barrier wasn't broken yet.
Another solid wall, another rough crash, and another reason why seatbelts save lives. Damn was whiplash a hell of a thing, my poor neck was about to become an unfortunate martyr on safe driving.
Luckily enough, it seems most of our adversaries understand it'd be more of a risk coming after us than it was a reward, and steered clear of the runaway bumper car doing 360s in the corner.
I'm starting to regret this decision.
"What is…" I stifled down a gag. "What is 'slow' in Elf-speak?"
Ash kept the car spinning right round, doing uh… doing her best, I suppose.
"I'm trying, Master. This beast just refuse to be tamed!"
Forget buses, looks I found my newest form of transport to detest.
"Your foot… pedals, Ash!" I bellowed. "Take them off first!"
"I already have, Master!"
I snapped upright, sudden panic in my eyes threatening to burst them out of my sockets. "What?!"
"I've already refrained from pushing any more pedals!" She shouted again.
So much I wanted to pretend that I did not just hear what I just heard, I couldn't have, right? How can we be spinning out of control without any momentum?! It's impossible, IMPOSSIBLE.
Freaking Newton would be spinning in his grave if found about this breach in the laws of physics.
But just like dear ol' Issac himself, we were still spinning, we continued moving, and momentum just kept on momen-ting.
With dread, I glanced downwards, and sure enough… not a single foot of hers was on any of the pedals whatsoever… leaving only one possible explanation for it.
"Ash, did you break the goddamn reverse pedal with your foot?!"
I looked back up and saw pure unbridled shock sweeping past Ash's paling expression, her terror-stricken eyes staring back at me with disbelief of her own. "Did I?!"
Oh dear God...
It hasn't even been five minutes and things were already figuratively and literally spiraling out of control. There we were, careening down the lane, round and round like the Earth to the Sun.
Tried pushing the other pedal - nope, that's unresponsive too. We're stuck maintaining a reverse speed with no end in sight, and Ash won't stop turning and twisting like a madman!
There two things that were racing through my mind in that one crucial, pivotal moment.
I was going to puke. Number one.
Number two - There was no way that I am ever going to live down the day where I have to explain to the staff in great detail just how my partner in crime managed to hit the break so hard that she broke the damn machine while curious onlookers peered closely at us by the sidelines.
Oooh… social anxiety. It's an unbearable thing.
Yep, I decided. I'm gonna pretend everything was just fine and dandy. It's good. I've dealt with vampires and shit, what's a little ring-around-the-rosie to me?
Nothing. That's right, nothing. I can… I can turn this thing around.
I hope.
Then one of the staff members, a shaggy-haired individual from afar, actually managed to notice that something was amiss in all the chaos and disarray that was happening and tilted his head our way, but luckily I manage to spot him in time, and thinking quick, I raised him a big thumbs up, and the widest smile I could possibly muster.
Didn't think I was all that convincing, but against all odds, employee-man simply shook his head and went on with his shift. Guy must have either been stoned on the job or really not all that observant as I was led to believe for that little trick to have actually worked on him.
But I knew that thumbing up every employee that looked our way wouldn't last us in the long-run, all it'd take was one keen-eyed fellow to turn our way to know that something really wasn't right.
We need to get this under control and fast.
There's a saying people like to use - fake it till you make it? Well, somehow I gotta get Ash to fake it so good, that she has to make it.
I'll make a Nascar driver out of her yet.
"Ash, get good quick please."
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Steering hard to the left, steering quickly to the right, Ash was driving like she was on thin ice, it's no wonder we keep spinning in circles.
"I'm doing my utmost," She grunted, her teeth in a tight grit. "But this is a drastic departure from horse riding. With a horse, I can surely -"
I flailed my arms around. "Forget the horse! Bad horse, bad analogy, my bad! No horse! This isn't a horse so stop pulling the steering wheel like it's a rein, you're gonna accidentally rip it off."
Still treating my words like law, Ash immediately adhered to my command and stopped pulling at once - but apparently, she also took that as a green light to let go of the wheel entirely.
Ash, why.
"No, keep your hands on it, don't let go!" I freaked, pulling her reluctant hands back to the reins. "You need control, get control."
"Ah, forgive me! I wasn't… I wasn't thinking just then."
Yeah, clearly… I don't think my poor spinal cord can take another impact like the ones you keep hurling us towards.
"It's simple, alright?" I said gently, attempting to diffuse the tension with some calmness. "Turn the wheel, and the car will turn where you decide to turn. Forgot about speed. Just avoid the walls, avoid the other cars, and we'll just run the timer out, yeah?"
Ash let out a breath. "Under… Understood..."
She says one thing, but her expression says another - it didn't seem like she understood anything at all.
I mean, there wasn't exactly like a precedent I could go off on here, something I could compare a bumper car to… tell me, what on Earth is the fantasy equivalent of driving and drifting?
Of course, I went for horse. It's like the closest thing there is! But apparently, it wasn't close enough. Ash just couldn't grasp the concept of motor vehicles and their intricacies.
Crash course. We really should have taken a crash course.
Once again, too late for regrets, no time for hindsight... just gotta make the best out of the worst - and the only best I could see was for Jesus to come over and take the wheel himself.
Can't slash yourself out of this one, Ash. No sword's gonna…
Sword.
Swords can swing.
Idea.
"It's a sword."
That out-of-the-blue statement combined with my serious expression - I really can't fault Ash for looking at me like I've just gone crazy or something. The grin that was slowly spreading across my face didn't really serve to help matters all too well either.
Ash didn't like the look on my face one bit. "Master, are you perhaps unwell?"
"It's a sword, Ash," I repeated again, this time fully committing to the idea. "Think of the car as one big round moving sword, okay?"
Poor Ash, if she wasn't utterly confused before, she certainly was now. "I don't… I don't follow…"
"Bear with me," I said, "Car's the blade, steering wheel's the hilt, and you swing! Left for left, and right for right. Same principle."
It was the next best thing, and coincidentally enough, it was the only thing I got remaining in my arsenal of ideas. If this doesn't work… then off I go seeing the manager and talking 'business'.
That's not really the endgame that I wanted here.
"Go on, Ash," I said, crossing the fingers on both of my hands. "Take a swing."
Elf-Knight from another world, I know. Swords and cars are as far from one another as they could ever be, asking her to make a mishmash out of the two was the same thing as having me not fall for a pyramid scheme.
But unlike me, the literal epitome of incompetence, Ash was, on the other hand, far more capable when it came time to dealing with unwanted predicaments.
With effort and composure concentrated into one swift action, she swung the sword, and the results were immediate. The car she claimed untamable, uncontrollable, finally swerved to her will, sparing us of another rude encounter with a solid wall.
"Oh!" The shock in her voice was apparent, the astonished look in her eyes, the staggering quiver in her breath, it all culminated to the biggest smile I've ever seen on her face. "I've done it!"
She turned around to face me. "Master, I did it!"
"Turn again!" Shouted I, pointing forward towards an approaching adversary, whose sights and ill-intent were intently set on us.
Ash swerved again, a sharp turn that was only mere inches away from impact, barely grazing the rubber rim of our opponent's car. Dodging was already impressive enough, considering our constant pace backward, but it seems impressive wasn't enough for her - Ash spun the opposite direction, drifting a perfect semi-circle back into our assailant, and colliding into them so hard, they went careening all the way to the other end of the arena.
I couldn't believe what I just saw there.
"That was you?" I asked, my eyes blinking rapidly in bewilderment.
Ash just looked back at me with her mouth hanging wide open. Even she wasn't sure if what happened just happened. "I… I believe so…"
But it happened, her sudden grasp at the controls, every turn and swerve controlled and focused - this was happening alright, Ash was getting good again.
Suddenly nausea and worry had all dissipated from my thoughts, replaced by a sudden surge of ecstasy and adrenaline that planted a huge smile on my face.
"Well, don't stop now," I said, cheering her on with a pat on the shoulder. "Keep that sword swinging, Ash. We're in the ring for another six minutes."
"Understood, Master!"
Unlike before, there was a strength to her voice, a boldness, that finally matched well with her affirmation and a confidence that surfaced past her apprehension.
Don't know how, don't know why, but that sword metaphor actually worked, and I'm not going to question it one bit at all. Maybe I should start comparing everything to a sword if I wanted her to excel at something. Seems to be going great so far.
By the seconds, Ash's drifting skills were being honed to even greater levels, dodging and evading all without even a single glance backward, each turn she made getting tighter, much more refined, than the last.
And I wasn't the only one to have noticed her sudden improvement. One by one, the many among us had slowly come to realize that the little bumper car that could have gone and done it.
We weren't seen as bumbling amateurs, now we stood among them down at the bottom of the food chain as fresh meat… and everybody was itching for a piece.
And to that, all I have to say was - Good luck to you all.
Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines.
It didn't take too long to crumble to bits the existing state of affairs. What was once just a desperate attempt at clinging onto any semblance of control has evolved into outright dominating the entire playing field with no one being able to contest.
Pretty soon there was a new apex predator in the vicinity with all the refinement and grace of a master at play, and everybody everywhere was gunning for her, eager to topple the usurper from the top of the food chain.
They did this, one by one, meeting us in defiance, all while shouting out a question that has been eluding them just as much as we have for all this time.
"Why the hell are you moving backwards?!"
Bumper car after bumper car, it was an endless tirade of the same question spoken out in different variations. Some thought it was a new tactic, others took it as a provocation, but the overall majority simply thought we were just being weird.
With each victory, the mystery of the backward bumper car kept growing in scope and size that it's guaranteed to be solidified as a legend told throughout time in these very walls.
It's gone to the point that I rather keep the reality of the matter a mystery for all time. Why spoil the fun with a broken pedal, am I right? Better off keeping the magic going, especially if the results surpassed expectations.
I woke up today setting off on this venture bearing in mind of one goal and one goal only - turning Ash's perpetual frown upside down.
Can somebody say mission accomplished, please?
Ash was showing more than just simple amusement, displaying more than just brief fleeting glances of joy - the steering wheel in her hands were turning as the minutes kept winding, and through it all, she was always smiling.
It came to the point where my concentration would stray away from what was in front of me in favor of focusing instead on what was beside me, and what sat beside me indeed was a far more preferable sight than anywhere else around.
To see slight crinkles forming in the corner of her eyes, small dimples at the ends of her lips, to hear laughter - true genuine laughter coming from her as she drifted about - I believe that was actually the first time I ever heard her laugh out loud.
It was then that I came to realize one thing.
Ash had a beautiful laugh, a beautiful smile.
A beautiful everything.
For a moment I've forgotten who and what she really was. Staring at her, I didn't see an Elf, I didn't see a Knight. Restraints, reserves - gone. All I saw was a girl, simple and sweet, enjoying the little things in life as well as she possibly could.
If time could have stopped at that one moment, I don't think I'd really have minded at all. But that'd be asking for too much now, wouldn't it? Everything had to end eventually.
And inevitably, it did. Slowly but surely the battle was drawing to a close. The cars were losing speed, the anarchic atmosphere got quieter, and the operator at the controls powered down the chaos as the timer finally struck zero.
Ash threw a glance my way with surprise in her eyes, clearly experiencing for the first time the feeling of the phrase - 'Time flies when you're having fun'.
"Are… Are we done?" I heard her ask, her voice with hints of disappointment.
I nodded my head and gave a simple, "Yep."
"Oh," She fell to a sudden silence for a short moment, and briefly I worried that she might actually be upset, but then she raised her eyes back to me, and with a little uncertainty, asked, "if at all possible, may we… Master, could we go again? Just one more, perhaps?"
Y'know how cat's eyes grow wide and it's just the most adorable thing there is in this cold miserable existence we call our lives? Well, Ash wasn't exactly doing that, but it was unsettling close to the real thing that in fact, in some ways, I'd wager to say it actually surpasses it.
Refusing her right there and then felt like I was committing an act of heresy of the highest order, I wanted so much not to refuse her - but people were leaving their cars, staff members were lining to the scene and I ain't to keen on a confrontation.
Breaks my damn heart, but…
"Sorry, Ash. Another time, alright?" I said, unbuckling my seatbelt. "Next time for sure."
She did her best to hide it, but those ears of hers drooping downwards laid her feelings bare. Nevertheless, she still nodded her head and stood up after me. "Understood."
Departing from the general vicinity was done in a rush, made even harder by the fact that we kept getting obstructed by people stopping by wanting to compliment the driver behind the wheel.
Poor Ash was at a loss from all the compliments and cheers, it was actually quite an amusing sight to behold.
She must have shaken at least a dozen hands before we even made it out of the rally, by which point, the employees were already making their rounds inspecting the vehicles.
After one last firm handshake and a good game, we finally made our exit, but not before I tucked away a hundred dollar bill alongside a little 'sorry' note written on a feedback sheet underneath the register. Hopefully, that'd be enough to compensate for the damage we've caused.
Took a last glance behind and saw the same shaggy-haired fellow looking at our bumper car with a very puzzled expression. Seeing that as our cue to adios the hell outta there, I took Ash by the hand, catching her by surprise, and didn't once let go of her until we made it all the way back to the ground floor.
When I received the inevitable inquiry as to why we were running. All I could say to her, heaving and panting like a dog, was "Pedals."
"Ah!" She cupped a hand around her mouth. "Yes, that was an issue, wasn't it?"
"You seemed to be faring all right," I gasped, wiping away the sweat from my brow. Goddamn escalators, why didn't we take the elevator? Damn, I'm a dumbass.
"Should we have… made amends?" Ash raised her eyebrows. "I believe we should."
"Already have."
"Ah! As expected of you, Master. Your generosity knows no bounds."
Y'know what was bizarre? Ash didn't seem too troubled by it at all. In fact, I noticed that she still had a small smile buried there underneath her palm.
That wasn't the only thing of significance, I realize only just then that she couldn't keep still at all now, constantly swaying her body about, shuffling her feet in place, and just in general moving much livelier than normal.
Admittedly, I was a little taken aback by it. "You okay, Ash?"
And it seems as if she herself wasn't even aware of how springy and boisterous she suddenly became, tilting her head and asking with raised eyebrows, "But of course. Master. Why wouldn't I be?"
I gaped at her, blinking twice. "No, it's nothing - nevermind about it. So, err - uhh - we got twenty minutes left till dinnertime, you ready to head off?"
An eager nod of the head followed by another wide smile. "Indeed I am."
It happened. It finally happened. Tried for so long, failed too many times to even count, but it's finally happened - The Elf Knight from another world has finally learned to have fun for the first time in her life.
No sadness, no pain. The weight on her shoulders has been lifted, and now she walked alongside me with steps light and carefree. Any conflictions, any harrowing thoughts she may have on her mind, for now, only for now, was cast to the wayside.
Now there was just us, just today, and just this date.
Mission accomplished, Ria. If only you could see us now, eh?
Here comes the final stretch of the evening, time to score for a touchdown.
The first thing that greeted us upon exiting the shopping complex was the rustling howl of the wind and a seemingly endless horizon of murky grey that diminished almost all daylight in the sky. Now, growing up, I knew of one fact that has always stayed a constant all throughout life - the sun never ever sets until half-past seven.
Gloomy weather begged to differ. From the way things looked, you'd think that perhaps the Sun had decided to clock out early or something, can't really fault anyone for thinking different. Only way you could actually tell that it was still early in the evening was as if you looked at the time itself.
There was a deep rumble in the clouds, one that seriously didn't bode too well for the coming hours ahead. Rain was definitely coming alright… and it'll be coming down hard.
Suddenly I felt myself being thrust back into it, returning again to a mindset of worries, the familiar feeling of unease.
Amelia's words echoed profoundly as much as the reverberating thunder did - if the rain really was not a result of natural causes, and say it was really a formation caused by some mystery person that has yet to be seen, then really…
What was it that they're trying to accomplish here by deluging the city streets with sporadic downpours? What's the heavy rain supposed to mean at all?
And just how deep was I going to get involved in this new rabbit hole that's appeared?
"Master?" Ash's voice was light, carefree even…as it should be, because to her, the rain was just that - only rain. "Should we make haste, or would you rather stand and stare for just a moment longer?"
Hearing her make light jest, especially with an expression that could light the darkest dark that has ever darked, was a very surreal experience to have graced my virgin ears, nonetheless, just as with her shift of demeanor, I wholeheartedly embrace this new sensation with open ears and arms.
"Nope, I'm done with the staring," I said, turning myself to the direction of the sidewalk. "Let us, as you say, make righteous haste… yeah?"
I just wish that I could think that the approaching storm could just be that too… merely a storm.
Thanks, Amelia.
It was another long walk through to reach our location, plenty of time still, needn't rush, so we took our time to smell the flowers and catch up on all the sights.
Contrasting starkly to just a few hours back, Ash has gone from a comment here and there to producing full-on sentences and even chatting away whole paragraphs without even pausing once to restrain herself.
It was like she possessed much more exuberance than she knew what to do with and the only way to funnel them out was through words.
Her favorite topic so far to no one's surprise was her little Initial D moment back at the bumper rally. It was actually quite endearing, not to mention, entertaining, to hear her ramble on to no end about the intricacies of every slight drift and turn she's ever made in the ring.
It helped a bit to stave away my apprehension… but just like the looming grey threat in the sky, they would always continue to linger.
Funny really how the tables have turned so drastically. Now I was the one-comment-here-and-there type and Ash was the chatterbox keeping the conversation at an active pace.
What a complete and total role reversal.
So amusing in fact that I couldn't help but point the sudden switch-a-roo out to her, to which she then inquired with a concerned expression, saying, "You're right, why is that I wonder? Master, could there be something that is possibly troubling you at the moment?"
Briefly, ever so briefly, the urge to simply spill the beans sprouted to mind. But like hell I'm gonna spoil the evening with a bombshell such as that.
So instead, I shook my head, smiled reassuringly, and offered a rather believable explanation for it.
"I'm just hungry."
"Is that so?" Still, a dubious gaze fronted me, apparently my believable explanation wasn't all that believable after all. "Are you sure that perhaps… it is not I that could be the root cause of your change in behavior?"
"What?" I drew my head back. "No, no, no, no, not at all, Ash. I just wanna eat. I mean, how the -? How'd you even get to that conclusion?"
Ash's pace slowed slightly, her smile a sheepish one, veering her gaze to the sidewalk. "My Masters before you, from my own experience, earning their ire is as simple as merely uttering a single word to them. Under them, I know more silence than I do words… but with you, it's - "
"Different, right?" I interjected, delving my hands into my pockets. "I'm not your standard affair. I understand… in your perspective, it's pretty weird, bizarre - what else, it's… uncomfortable?"
"It's nice," She looked at me, her emerald eyes shimmering bright. "Very, very nice…"
"Oh…" Wasn't expecting that. I cleared my throat. "Well, don't go thanking me just yet… still got the rest of the date ahead of us."
"Yes. This date has proven itself worthwhile, after all. I wholeheartedly look forward to the next date we'll be having."
"The next date?"
"Yes, the next date..." Ash said, frowning. "Why, will there not be another?"
Ooo, she went ahead walked herself into that one, completely defenseless as well. The eagerness in tone, the slight hint of worry after a wrong assumption. This does put a smile on my face.
Time to test the waters a bit.
"I didn't say that, no… but, since you brought it up, can I just assume that means you want to go on another date with me?"
All of a sudden Ash was now at a lack for words, how very surprising.
She brushed a strand of loose hair away. "Well… As a servant, I can only - "
"You want to ride on the bumpers cars with me?"
Her ears gave a twitch. "It was certainly - "
"Fun, right? You want to have more fun with me? You want to enjoy yourself more with me? "
A furrow on her brow. "Master, I - !"
"You want it?
And she pursed her lips. "I… Don't you?"
"I'm asking you, Ash."
Round and round we could go on for all eternity, I wasn't dropping the subject till I hear exactly what I wanted, plus, seeing her gradually become more flustered with every second was a big plus. 10/10 would fluster again, or at least until I hear a genuine honest 100% bonafide -
"Yes, I do," Ash sputtered out, wincing, her expression teeming with great reluctance. "I want to… have another date… with you... I suppose."
I was smiling so wide my cheeks were hurting. "Wait, what do you mean you suppose?"
That wince turned into a sulking stare. "Somehow I get the sense that you are deriving some twisted sense of amusement under my expense."
"Hmm, do you also suppose that's true?"
"But you are benevolent with words," She continued. "You wouldn't do that to me, would you now Master?"
"I dunno, Ash," I said, shrugging. "Do you also suppose that I wouldn't?"
Didn't think it was possible to convey complete and absolute disappointment in one fleeting expression, but apparently, when there is an Ash, there is a way.
"Alas," She muttered, sighing away all hopes for the world. "It seems I must stand corrected."
"Oh…" I said, frowning along with her. "You really suppose so?"
Needless to say, the rest of the journey over was accompanied by the occasional reproachful glance thrown my way. It seems as though her resilience to attacks were only exclusive to the physical. She does not do well being teased, didn't even need a bullet for a critical hit.
Some might say that I shouldn't tease her so much, but in my defense, Your Honor - it got her pouting so it was so worth it. Case adjourned.
Besides, any resentment she might still have for me had all but dispersed by the time we reached the restaurant. I've only been to a handful throughout my life, having grown up in the countryside and all, but even I could tell that the building that stood in front of us was in a league of its own.
Middle-class living me was as equally in wonder as Ash was. I had a skim through their website, so I knew what the restaurant looked like, but a couple of panoramas and videos paled in comparison to the real genuine article.
Stained glass adorned every window, each with its own intricate artwork so finely engraved within them. Walls so white you could practically see them shimmer and shine like silver. They even have a doorman employed, complete with his own set of custom-made attire and a pearly-white smile.
I was more of a fast-food experience type of guy, so suddenly getting the first-class treatment before I've even stepped foot into the premises was like stepping into a whole new world of fine-dining that I've never seen before.
Got one employee graciously bowing us in, another one offering to take my blazer off for me, even had one gushing over how perfect Ash and I looked together to which I had to force myself an appreciative smile back otherwise awkwardness would ensue.
Dude, I just want to get to the reservation…
After a few more moments of some discomforting comfort, we finally managed to weasel our way over to the immaculately-looking young lady by a podium. Saw her lead a couple of people to a table a few seconds back, so I can only assume she's in charge of the reservations around here.
So I confronted her, saw her smile the usual smile, and hear her recite the typical, overly cheerful - "Good evening! What can I do for you?"
I smiled back. "We have a reservation,"
"I see. Well, I do hope you'll have a pleasant experience with us. Now, what's the name of your reservation?"
That's when I drew a blank. I realized… only just then… that I did not know the name of the reservation - Ria booked the place, not me. I was, uh… donating blood at that point in time.
Apparently, asking for details after Ria confirmed the booking just flew right by me and now karma's here to righteously bite me in the ass, and for once I'm inclined to agree it was very much deserved.
Then again, shouldn't Ria have told me in the first place? I'm not entirely at fault here, am I?
"Is there something wrong, Master?"
Ash, clinging closely by me, tilted her head in question. If this date ends up as a blunder because of something I did, I'm going to willingly ram myself into the next truck that comes my way.
Hopefully, my newly-reincarnated self would have some semblance of common sense in his new life.
Drawing blanks, I muttered out the first idea that popped into mind. "We're the, uh… five o'clock reservation. Gave a call, yesterday? My phoeni - friend booked it."
The lady had a little writing pad to which she kept by her at all times. I know because she was looking at it right now, muttering names under her breath while throwing the periodic glance my way.
What happened next, even I wasn't so sure about it yet. Suddenly her eyes peeked over at me from her little pad, and from the way her eyes narrowed staring back at my face, it was as if she was doing her best to refrain from speaking out.
Briefly, I wondered why that was. Did something screw up with the reservation? Did it get canceled? Maybe Ria screwed up somehow?
Then the lady's warm smile return and I got my answer. No, nothing was screwed up, reservation didn't get canceled, Ria handled the booking quite well.
Maybe a little too well, if you ask me.
"Reservation under a Mr. I-Heart-Elves Jr. for a table of two, is that right?"
You've any idea how hard it was to maintain a smile like all was well and good?
Very. Very hard.
The reservation lady can vouch for me, cause she had to retain that same smile the whole time too.
"Yep," I said, nodding my head in affirmation. "That's - That's me, alright. Mr. I-heart… whatever."
Ash seemingly decided it best to simply pretend that the last few seconds had not occurred and feigned ignorance on the whole matter, looking up at the glass chandelier like it was the most fascinating thing that ever existed. It'd have worked too if her ears had only stopped floundering about like a fish out of water.
"Very well, then," spoke the lady once more. "This way, if you will follow me, I'd lead you to your seats."
"Wonderful," I said, clasping my hands together. "Simply splendid."
Somehow, somewhere, I could feel a Phoenix gloating and smirking her lips wide, having succeeded in her revenge against the cruel broccoli-giver and was now having her last laugh in the skies on a ploy well done.
Starting tomorrow, it's only vegan for her.
I swear to God.
Up high above to the second-story was where our table was reserved, and somehow the second level had far surpassed the ground floor both in presentation and scope.
The lady navigated us through countless occupied tables, winding and slithering through, allowing us a brief moment to take in the magnificent sight that practically begged to be marveled at.
All four walls that surrounded the lavish interior were enamored with golden frames, where life-like paintings of many shapes and sizes loomed over the dozens of equally lavish-looking patrons already partaking in the middle of an expansive feast.
A large bar, with a bartender juggling too many glasses to even count. On one end, playing atop a dimly-lit stage, was a live jazz performance starring an actual well-renowned group notorious around these parts.
Weeks ago, if you were to come up to me and tell me that I'd be moving up in the world, I'd have laughed at your face all the way to hell and back. Pretty sure it was like one of the fundamental universal rules of life.
Pretty sure there's a passage that God has written there somewhere going something like: 'Thou shall not befall fortune onto the spineless, if otherwise, thou shall literally become spineless. Go on and try it, I ain't playing.'
In any case, being able to take a single step into this place, let alone dine in it, was like a pipedream come to life.
Just a week ago, I'd go broke from just taking a sip of water here… now though? Well… thank God for Dr. Ria and her magical healing elixir that wasn't in any way at all the least bit suspicious whatsoever.
So far Ash was sharing much of the wonder I had for the extravagancy that paved every square-inch of the place to the point where if she flutters those ears of hers any faster, she'd be hovering to the skies.
Playing follow the leader with reservation-lady was good and all, but I'm growing a bit tired of nearly bumping into tables with every sharp turn that abruptly came our way. Perhaps I should learn from past mistakes and actually start asking questions for once.
Certainly wouldn't kill me to try.
"Excuse me," I said, letting myself be heard above the saxophone solo. "Mind pointing out where exactly we'll be sitting?"
"Oh, won't be long now, actually," She responded, sounding apologetic. "You're booked to the VIP table. Unfortunately, it's quite a ways away, but we're getting close."
I stopped moving at once. Ash stopped moving too. And reservation-lady, noticing her little posse had frozen still like a statue, also followed suit.
"Something wrong, Mr. Elf Sir?" She asked.
Oh, something was definitely wrong, alright. "Yeah, um… firstly drop the Elf part. Secondly, you said VIP table? Pretty sure we booked a normal table, actually. Sure you ain't reading off of someone else's reservation there?"
With a frown, the bemused young lady referred back to her notepad in hand, tapping rhythmically away at its contents, before smiling slightly and saying with a shake of the head, "You're right. There has been a mix-up on tables. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Listen, I'll go check with my manager downstairs, and I'll get back to you in a moment, is that alright?"
A simple mistake that was brushed aside with a wave of my hand. These things happen, after all. "No problem. We'll just be here."
After another remorse-ridden apology, she strode off in a hurry down the steps and disappeared out of sight within a second's notice.
"Something the matter?" asked Ash, who barely was able to follow along with the conversation.
"Got the wrong reservation, it seems. Gonna have to wait till she finds us a table," I replied.
"Oh?" Ash looked around, a frown gradually showing on her face. "But I see many that sit unoccupied, couldn't we simply just…?"
"Uhh, okay, Ash… the definition of reservation is?"
Her eyes focused briefly onto one spot, her brow furrowing more and more by the second.
"May I refrain from answering that?" She muttered quietly. "I fear that I may only be subjecting myself to more of your mockeries should I give you my answer."
I smirked. "Hey, promise I won't laugh."
"Liar."
Okay. Seems like I wasn't the only one learning from past mistakes here. Clever girl.
"Back! I'm back!"
Huffing and puffing, hands on her knees, reservation-lady strode back into view with a teeth-baring smile and good news riding at the tip of her tongue.
"Sorry for the wait, but I've got your table all sorted out now. I've consulted with my manager and he's got everything set out for you just right!"
"Alright, sweet… appreciate the help," I said.
She grinned again. "Yep. So now if you would just follow me, I'll get you set up on our best table at the executive lounge."
"Kay, right, well Ash… you heard the lady. Let's go on ahead to the executive - " I paused momentarily, rewinding and replaying in my head what the heck had just befallen upon my hearing. "Sorry, say again?"
"The executive lounge."
"The executive lounge?!"
The executive lounge.
A secluded room located in the comfiest corner of the premises available only for the elitist of the elite. A room with the best view, best seats, best lightning, basically the best of the best for every best solely for the very best.
Or at least that's what the website advertised.
Walking in, taking in everything at first glance, I can tell you this much… they won't be getting sued for false advertising anytime soon. The view could do with a little work, it was still a bit bleak and dark there outside. Though I suppose the service industry can only do so much when it comes to the weather, can't really wish the thunder clouds away.
The next few minutes were essentially just me acting on autopilot as I try my best to process what the heck is happening in the here and now.
Like, why were our seats being pulled out for us? Why was it did we have our own personal waiter and waitress standing by at the sidelines? Why… why oh why, I wonder… why this was happening to us specifically?
Reservation-lady just walked away after reaffirming for the umpteenth time that she was just following orders and that everything was rightfully in order.
Meaning to say, this was exactly where we were meant to be.
So be it.
Menu in hand, I stared at our selections for the night. So many delectable delights, yet I couldn't focus on any single one of them. I wasn't lying before when I said I was famished, but it seemed as if curiosity itself was staving away my hunger and in turn, was growing an appetite of its own, a craving.
A craving for answers.
Ash, for her part, remained blissfully unaware of the utter absurdity that was the past five minutes… couldn't really blame her, I was the one here well-versed with the ongoings of modern life, she probably was under the impression that everything was as it should be, that everything was going according to plan.
When in actuality it really wasn't. Didn't got no blueprint for this, don't even think this had anything to do with any scheme of Ria's.
But yet… still we're here. How did this happen?
"Master, have a look here," Ash beamed at me over the top of her menu, twirling it around to face me and baring it wide. "Here it actually lists a wide variety of cheese types, It's as you say! Mozzarella, Brie, Parmesan… Cheddar! Cheddar bears a striking resemblance to corn flakes, perhaps I should… no, actually, Master, what would you suggest is best?"
Her enthusiasm, the eagerness in her voice, they both proved to be very infectious.
I smiled back, trying my absolute best to cast aside the questions that were burning within me, and answer while maintaining my tone more on the lighter side. "Maybe have something along with it too, yeah? Get some spaghetti, sausage, and maybe some… woah, woah, woah - what's this?!"
Two wine glasses, a chilled bottle of wine, without warning was placed and poured out halfway before I was given chance to intervene, both waiter and waitress staring back at me with their heads angled sideways.
Why was I the one getting the sideways treatment? Am I the one going crazy here? Even Ash was raising a questioning brow at me.
"Who - maybe there's a mistake somewhere, but I didn't order this," I pointed out, my finger pressing against the cold hard brand of wine. "This is a thousand excluding taxes, I saw it on the menu, and even if I could afford it… Newsflash: I don't drink."
"Not to worry," spoke the waiter.
"It's complimentary," finished the waitress.
"A courtesy from the manager himself," The waiter smiled.
"The manager adores new arrivals," piped the waitress.
"He really does."
"Savor the drink he says."
"Along with your beautiful date."
"Don't spoil the mood."
"Order your food."
"And do enjoy your evening with us," they both finished in unison.
What in the fuck. If they actually rehearsed that, well played. If they didn't - then aliens. What the hell.
Rehearsed or not though, something was definitely off here. There was no hiding my concern any longer, it surfaced… and it showed, and I was about to make it heard.
There were these seven words I'd never thought I'd say. I forbid myself from ever uttering those accursed syllables, that dreaded statement, but the time calls for some drastic measures to be made… and this was drastic indeed.
I glanced over at Ash, and saw apprehension welling up in those shimmering emerald eyes of hers - eyes that were once teeming with joy. Wasn't about to let a little bizarreness ruin such a special occasion. I had to say it.
So I did.
"I want to speak to your manager."
Smiles on both faces. Bows with both heads. "Very well," They both said, then they both left.
Ash and I shared a bewildering stare, but before any one of us could say a word to one another, the sound of one's footsteps slowly crept its way into audibility.
Unsurprisingly, Ash was the first to pick up on it, her ears for once keeping still and perked.
One step. Two steps. Then a thud.
One step. Two steps. Then a thud.
That thud wasn't of anything significant to me, but to Ash, to her ears… it made all the difference. She looked over at me, a peculiar expression on her face, saying, " The slam of a cane, getting more prominent with every step. I can hear it."
"A cane?" I repeated, turning towards the door.
"Yes, I believe…" Ash said. "I believe their superior... is limping."
It clicked. It finally clicked for me. Clicked. Just as the door swung wide, just as another thud reverberated against the wooden floor, just as I stood up, ready to bolt.
These past few weeks, it was easy to forget that the everyday didn't all brim with magic and mythical creatures alike. It was easy to forget that the mundane itself held its own secrets deep within the underbelly of society's eyes.
The everyday didn't have dragons soaring through the air, it didn't have demons ravaging the city streets.
No, what we did have instead were blackmails, bribes, fronts… our own version of evil didn't breathe fire, they didn't have horns - instead, they run thriving businesses, they wear suits… some also may wield canes.
It was difficult to try and compare the lesser of the two evils, but right then, it really didn't matter. Evil has arrived.
The Mob Boss has come to say hi.