Summarizing was like reliving.

Y’know you get those people that tell you that living in the past was painful and that you need to move on with your life.

And they’d be right.

Relaying to Ria what has transpired these past few days were like bite-size versions of the events themselves. Everything from the grocery trip, to the cats, all the way till we reached Asteria, I felt every emotion, every bit of that frustration that I felt back then.

My mood took a nosedive to the gooey sticky depths of misery… it was going take a while to get out of that swamp, for now though, Ria was done listening, her elbows atop the dining room table, her chin laying atop folded hands, nodding ever so profoundly to the end of my tale.

“You suck with girls.”

Oh gee thanks, I knew there was something missing with all the bitterness and sorrow I was feeling - insults, the perfect type of comfort.

“Actually, scratch that - you just suck with people full stop.”

Fixed myself a cup of coffee as a stress reliever to which I took a sip out of right then. After hearing her input, I realize I’m probably gonna need a lot more than just one cup, aren’t I?

Ria’s gonna make a caffeine addict outta me yet…

“Anymore uh… much-needed feedback you wanna give, or are you done?” I asked.

There came a cheeky, cheeky glint blazing in her crimson eyes along with a smile spreading glaringly wide.

Oh boy…

For the sake of my dignity and for reasons of the prideful kind, I will omit the details in her ‘little’ list of flaws that she laid out in front of me. Criticism is a great teacher but it was also a mean one, let’s just leave it at that.

Actually, you know what, abbreviated version - I’m kinda spineless. That’s basically what her little spiel amounted up to.

“Which is amazing, really,” Ria remarked. “You can go up to an enraged Matriarch and tell her to cut her bullshit, yet you also go full chicken saying hi to a harmless Elf. You’re a mess.”

“Irene was so much better at this,” I mused, gazing longingly to the heavens above for a savior in sight.

Sadly there was no savior… only ceiling.

And the only semblance of one that I do have was saying mean words to me like a big bully.

Look at that, she’s still smiling… what a cheeky cun - cunning woman.

“Aww, am I not enough for you? You rather have her? That succubus? You’re thinking of another girl when there’s a perfectly fine one right in front of you? Ooo, what a player you are… playing hard to get like that.”

“No, I’m thinking of someone that might actually try and help me out.”

Ria made a gasping sound, feigning shock on her face. “And you think I won’t?”

I raised a brow. “Evidence that states otherwise?”

“Silly, silly, you… did you forget? I’m under you, my little eggplant. What - do I need to call you ‘Master’ every ten seconds to remind you? I have to help you out! It’s like in my genes or something.”

Well, I did get what I wished for, didn’t I? Wanted brash, I got brash. Wanted bold, here you go. Did I ask for snark? Don’t remember asking for snark… probably comes with the package.

“Alright, if you say so…” Another sip in an almost empty cup. “Got any suggestions, a plan, or something?”

Her chair squealed like a pig. Standing up so abruptly can make it do that, which she did, towering above me with a twinkle in her eyes, a smug look on her face.

I thought perhaps maybe she did have a plan, the way she slowly leaned downwards, inching her face towards me, as if ready to tell me a secret in a whisper… it really did look like at it, so much so that I also leaned forward, anticipating, with ears keen and eager, so close now that I could hear breathing, saw her lips spread apart, and what she said to me was…

“Later,” She drew her head back, still smiling. “I need a shower.”

“Oh.”

Did I just get bamboozled?

“Go right ahead, then,” I said, collapsing back to my chair with a huff.

“Care to join me?”

My lips went gaping, and my eyes went staring. “Ria, can you not? Is there like a daily requirement you have to fulfill on how many times you have to tease me in a day?

“Not teasing,” she said, a bashful look on her face. “I really do mean it.”

Wasn’t falling for that one. “Sure you do. Buzz off little birdie.”

“Alright then, your lost… no takebacks.”

And just like that, her little show of timidness went all but falling apart with her every step towards the bathroom upstairs. She took her sombrero with her too, probably going to chuck it in the guestroom where all the other souvenirs from her escapades ended up being left and neglected.

She keeps this up, we’re gonna have a house full of exotic artifacts. Ms. Worldwide right here.

I took another sip, kicked back, and set my sights back on the television, watching but not really watching. Needed something to do while I waited and I’m sure as hell not going to leave myself wallowing in my thoughts.

If I wanted depression, I’ll go ahead and watch a sad movie, don’t need my mind kicking my metaphorical teeth in 24/7.

Oh would you look at that, I am watching a sad movie. I just can’t win, can I?

By the time Ria got back, the love-interest sacrificed herself, main character was a broken mess and the credits were rolling. Watch a punch in a gut, only slightly dampened by the fact that Ria waltz back in wearing that freakishly large sombrero on her head.

“Brazil?” I asked her, taking another sip of my mug with nothing in it.

“Costa Rica,” she answered, her face in an expression of pure bliss. “Un lugar hermoso.”

“Judging by the tenderness in those words, I’m guessing France just got toppled off its throne?”

“Tied. Probably tied.”

“So that’s six countries down, where you off to next?”

“Not sure,” she paused, sparing a moment of thought. “Actually, I hear Australia is pretty interesting, maybe… it doesn’t really matter where I go. What you have here on earth? Kronocia? It’s got nothing on this world, I’ll tell you that.”

Oh yeah, speaking of Kronocia… I discussed something with Adalia the day before, asked her some questions that needed answers and though she answered well, it was still answers given in a state of triple Zs. Highly doubt any of the answers she gave were as accurate as she believed them to be.

Besides, doesn’t hurt getting a second opinion.

“You mind if I play some 20 questions with you?” I asked.

Ria scoffed and took a seat again across from me. “Sure? Can’t really think of any questions to ask you though.”

“It’s fine,” I said. “I’ll ask the questions. Ready?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

I hunched myself closer to the table and set my cup down. “Do you know of a province called Lamir?

“Uh,” Her eyes wandered briefly. “Google is your friend?”

“Not Earth.”

“Oh. Um… well, I don’t think so at least. Kronocia doesn’t really have that many continents anyway.”

So Asteria has a Lamir but Kronocia does not. Okay, I guess Adalia wasn’t all that unfocused. Next question.

“What year is it currently in Kronocia?”

“You mean if dear mommy dearest didn’t make Kronocia go boom?” Ria gave a small chuckle. “5449 A.E. is my guess. Irene could probably confirm better, though.”

5449 A.E. - that is ways away from the start of Asteria’s plot. And then there are those initials again, hmm…

“I asked Adalia this and she mentioned that A.E. stood for, uh… Alato… Alato Eva - Eva something, can’t remember.”

“Alitro Elvanos.”

“That’s the one. What does it mean? Adalia didn’t know.”

“Oh no, she probably does,” Ria said. “She probably just didn’t know how to translate it in your words.”

“And in my words they are?”

“I guess the most accurate translation would be…” She trailed away briefly, her face forming creases as she mulled it over for a moment before she finally answered. “After Cleansing.”

Well, that doesn’t sound ominous at all…

“Cleansing, huh? Cleansing what, exactly?”

Turns out that was the question where I finally got her shoulders shrugging and her lips frowning.

“Don’t know.”

“You don’t know or you’re not telling?”

Ria folded her arms. “Wouldn’t lie. Besides, I’m not a historian, I go caw-caw and set things on fire. Also as far as I’m aware, we only started keeping track of things after A.E… before that? Probably lost history, nobody knows, at least nobody alive does anyway.”

Here I was trying to fit all the puzzle pieces together to form a perfect picture. The only problem is that I’m missing some parts, and the pieces I do have, most of the time they don’t even fit well with each other.

Why do Kronocia and Asteria share so many similarities with each other and yet also have so many inconsistencies between them? If Asteria really was based on Kronocia… they didn’t really do a good job at replicating it.

Unless that wasn’t actually their intent.

So what was?

“Now I got a question for you!” Ria suddenly piped up.

The suddenness of it had my train of thought stopping dead in its tracks as I looked up at her with a bemused, “What?”

“Yeah. Question. My turn. You still want my help with the Elf?”

So much eagerness in her tone, the enthusiasm lit up a fire in her eyes, blazing with so much fervor, it was actually quite unnerving.

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

Still, who was the alternative here?

I responded with a still bemused, “Yes.”

That mischievous grin that formed on her face raised some red flags. Then when she flung off her sombrero and drew out a detective’s cap from her coat pocket, that’s when I knew this probably wasn’t the wisest choice.

Oh, and then she also pulled out a magnifying glass - where the hell did she get that trench coat?!

I remember now… England. I guess those souvenirs didn’t really go to waste after all.

“Ria Ignis, the love detective,” she said, placing the cap on her head. “How do I look?”

At this point, the fire alarm in my head was blaring loud and red as I frantically shook my head.

“I don’t need a love detective,” I said at once.

“Hush now, you don’t know what you need.” She stared at me through the magnifying glass. “Never hurts to try, right? It might actually help.”

My third party was a psycho bird-lady. But at this point, beggars can’t really be choosers.

“Alright then, fine!” I threw my hands in the air like I just didn’t care. I cared. “What are you gonna do?”

“Well, as a wise person once said - love is war,” she flashed another smile that gave danger signs. “For starters, how about coming up with a battle strategy then, hmm?”

I’m gonna need that other cup of coffee.

Leave it up to Ria to come up with the most batshit crazy of ideas. Haven’t even known her for long but I just know without a doubt that she was essentially the brawns to Irene’s brains.

Had Irene actually been present in this here meeting of the minds, perhaps there might have also been some grounds for a little rationality 'cause as it was now, there was nothing rational about this plan of hers.

Perhaps in her eyes, it was all rational, in which case, good game everyone. I am die. Thank you forever.

“Then you kiss her.” Ria finished with a simper.

“I kiss her?”

“You kiss her.”

I was sorely tempted to slam the table with my forehead right then. Luckily I got two things stopping me from doing so. One was the fact that I didn’t wanna wake Adalia. Grumpy Vampires are not good. Number two - I was worried I might actually karate-chop the table in half with my skull, that’s how strong the impulse was.

“I get the feeling you disagree?” Ria said, her head tilted and her eyes squinted.

“Oh, you think?”

“Passive aggressiveness is very unbecoming.”

“No, setting the two of us up on a date alone together at a zoo, restaurant, and then an evening carnival session is very unbecoming. What are even these cliches? Did you get all your ideas from a shitty soap opera?”

“Hey, how dare you!” Ria stood up, outraged. “Adios Mi Amor is one of the greatest romance stories ever to put on screen!”

“Oh my god, you mean to say I’ve actually been taking pointers this whole time from a goddamn telenovela?!”

“I’m helping you!”

“No, this is your ship - you’re shipping us!” I bellowed. “And you’re steering that ship directly into an iceberg!”

Ria flailed her arms about. “Well, you’re sinking all the same anyway, Leonardo! You gotta do something to plug that hole, otherwise, it’s to the ocean floor you go… again.”

“You really think this is gonna work?”

“Darling, I know this is gonna work.”

There was so much confidence ringing with her claims, not just that either, her hands on her hips, and the intensity of her stare, they all just radiated with the exaggerated swagger of an audacious phoenix.

I would say I had doubts, but there needed to be a semblance of uncertainty in order to even have those. I had no uncertainty, this was clearly the biggest nope that ever was, is, and will be.

And the worst part about all of this?

I was actually starting to believe her.

‘Why not?’ A little itty bitty part of me dared speak out.

Every recent encounter I have had with Ash always ended in downs. Isn’t it high time to have one that actually ended in an up for once?

A date. I’ve never been on a date before. I know. I know. What a surprise. Jokes aside, why not? No ulterior motives this time, no poking the sensitive spots, just a time for laughs and smiles - the two of us. Sounded fun.

As friends, of course. Just as friends.

“Besides…” Ria flashed a sly grin. “Maybe it’ll end up with more than just a kiss, hm?”

I gave her a cold dead stare in return. "Y'know I got a stapler upstairs. You keep those lips flapping like that, you’re gonna get an order that will keep that beak of yours shut for good.”

"Woo, what a threat,” Ria said, backing away with arms raised. “It's too bad you're too kind of a guy to actually follow up with it.'

“Right…”

“It’s a compliment, sweetheart,” she said, swaying her body energetically from side to side. “Kind is nice, you know? It’s certainly what the Elf up there needs right now.”

Strange… that was a total inverse to what Irene had stated. Wasn’t it cruel to be kind? Or have circumstances differ so greatly now that a bit of kindness was warranted after all?

Guess we’ll see… first things first, though, there was just one problem.

“Well we can sit here hatching up all the devious schemes we want all day, it’s only too bad you’re missing out on the most important factor here.”

I let the mystery of it fester in her thoughts for a while as she stood there in silent contemplation. ‘Course I already expected a bullshit answer to be coming out of her, but it wouldn’t hurt to know what it was that she considered an ‘important factor’ here.

“A diamond ring?”

Damn, I was actually anticipating hearing condoms there. Guess she was purer than I originally thought.

“Consent,” I told her. “Going out is a two-way street. If the other person doesn’t know about it, how is said person supposed to enjoy it?”

Ria rolled her eyes. “Then just go ask her out, duh.”

“She’s - !” I paused, finding for the perfect words. “She’s busy right now... Up there. I don’t really wanna disturb her.”

A mighty drawling grown emerged out of her agape lips, as she shambled on over towards the staircase, proclaiming with a feeble breath, “Fine! Then I’ll go ask her.”

Oh no no no no no no no no no.

“Ria, wait-wait-wait-wait! Stop! Stop!”

But stop she did not. Ria kept going up and up like she was the Usain Bolt of staircases. The last thing I ever saw of her before she disappeared into the second floor was a bit of leg sticking out, spurring to the direction of Ash’s room.

Now all I had were sounds to go off of. Listening intently, grimacing badly, at the thud of her feet scampering across the hallway. Seriously, I wanted to shrivel up into a ball and die there upon hearing the dreaded knocking on wood.

Ash’s door always squeaked when opened, and this time, holy shit did it squeak, alright. It seemed louder than ever before.

Then just like an ax-wielding murderous psychopath, Ria’s voice echoed all the way from the doorway, with a loud cheery - “Hey there, Missus Elf! Are ya winning?”

Dude, I wanna die so badly. Adalia please kill me again and end my cringing existence, please.

“Mistress Ria?” exclaimed Ash’s voice, and in my head, I pictured Ria just smiling right at her shocked expression.

I had my ears straining to the max trying to hear bits and pieces of the conversation - in retrospect, I really shouldn’t have done that.

BOOM!

That was my reenactment of what I just heard. An ungodly explosion of both sight and sound that left me utterly shooketh to my bones.

A big bang that has gotten Ash exclaiming even more in a loud flustered voice, yelling, “Wha - M-Mistress Ria?! Whatever are you doing?! Mistress Ria!”

Whatever the hell was she doing, indeed! The heck was going on up there?!

The answer to that much-anticipated question literally came hurling at me in the face manifesting as a fiery blaze bolting in my direction with golden feathers ruffling with the wind.

My eyes kept locked to the gigantic fire-chicken in flight, as it began circling laps around the dining room table, my jaw dropping to the ground in sheer disbelief.

Adalia was tossing and turning around the living room sofa as a result of all the commotion, unfortunately, due to recent events, my concern for her comfort has slightly diminished - scratch that, I barely even paid notice to it.

“This is you asking?!” I shouted.

The constant flap of wings hovering in place drew my eyes down to an object swinging loosely in the clutches of her sharp talons. A large grey rectangular slab - a familiar-looking rectangular slab. Okay, I understand Ash’s exasperation just now because I was certainly feeling it right then.

“You took the laptop from her?!” I swiped at it, hastily plopping it on the table. “You outta your mind? What part of the sentence ‘she is busy’ did you misconstrue?!”

Wings and talons within a flash and a swirl of fire immediately became smoldering locks of hair and arms crossed against one another standing right across from me.

“What’s the problem? She certainly ain’t busy anymore, isn't she?” Ria answered with a self-satisfied smirk.

“Well, aren’t you just simply the best.”

“You know it.”

“I’m bringing this back to her, and you can - “

Buzz off, fly away, skedaddle, or for a more eloquently phrasing- go fack off outta here. So many variations to finish that sentence with, but I never got to. The moment I spun myself around to the path up the stairs, something came to obstruct me from taking another step forth.

More specifically, it was more along the lines of a someone than a something.

Ash stood breathlessly atop the second step, her emerald eyes shifting about rapidly to make sense of the scene that fronted her - Ria in all her smugful glory and me, laptop in hand, awkwardly gawking at her like a shellshocked goldfish without any water.

The only thing that could make this any worse than it already was, was if Adalia woke up from all the noise.

Oh wait, she did!

Peeking over from the couch was a pair of misty eyes, eyebrows slanted and visibly cranky. Goddamn it. My bad, Adalia.

I noticed Ash still had her fingers wrapped around the controller. Just as I thought, Ria interrupted her in the middle of a game sesh… how sacrilegious of an act.

It was like a mom confiscating her child’s game or something, that’s how this scene feels like and it’s a scene I ain’t having no part in, screw that. I know the feeling.

“Uhh,” There I was again, unsure of what to say to break the tension. “Ash, I - “

“You’re beloved Master over here has something to tell you,” Ria interrupted me, gazing at the utter bafflement in my eyes with a mischievousness in her own. “Don’t you now?”

This little Kentucky Fried Chicken, I swear to God…

“Yes, Master?” Ash spoke out, walking forward, her voice exuding greatly with an air of servitude. “Whatever do you need of me?”

I felt my lower jaw flap about up and down like it had a screw loose, and although my lips were wide open, nothing except air emerged out of it. My eyes were doing all the talking, looking away from Ash’s inquiring gaze to Ria’s, who with expressions alone, kept urging and urging me to take action.

Yeah screw it, got nothing to lose anyway.

“Actually, yeah, I do have something to ask,” From the corner of my eyes, I could see the love detective frantically nodding her head. “You know what? Let’s keep things simple. Do you know what a date is?”

“The date?” Ash frowned, her head turning over to the kitchen where a small calendar was tacked onto the fridge. “I believe it is the twelfth day in the month of - “

“No, not the date, a date,” I interjected. “Y’know like when - like before. Remember? We went walking around a mall, got to look at cars, even ate some parfait, remember that? That’s a date.”

“I… I see…” She muttered, nodding her head. “And, uh... its purpose? At this date, are we of any objectives to fulfill?”

“No, there are no objectives here. Can’t really say it has any purpose either… it’s just… well it’s just a thing people do to have fun together.”

“Fun?” Some apprehension was present in her voice.

“Yeah, fun,” I said, straining my cheeks painfully with a smile. “It’ll be fun, Ash. What do you say? Wanna go on, uh… on a date with me?”

The next few seconds that followed were some of the most agonizing seconds I've ever experienced yet. Seriously, dying wasn’t as bad as the silence that came after my question. Should I tell her to forget it? Do I say nevermind? Can I just run away now, never look back, start a new life, change my name, live like a hermit for the rest of my -

“Okay,” came Ash’s answer, evidently still bemused by the whole thing. “I shall go and ready myself now before we depart for - “

“No, no, no, not today, Ash!” I said, quickly recovering from her reply. “It’s a bit late for that now. Tomorrow! We’ll go tomorrow, alright?”

Ria’s expression on her face was the equivalent of a mad genius seeing their master plan be executed without a hitch. I half-expected her to start cackling like a deranged lunatic… but no, a wide smile baring teeth was all that was present on her.

“Tomorrow it is, then.” Ash bowed her head. “I shall keep a reminder for the event.”

“Awesome,” was all I could say.

Five seconds of silence was enough for awkwardness to come barging in at us again. Oh, I hated it. Now what?

“Can I… May I have that back, please?”

Ash pointed a finger to the side of me, where the laptop still laid folded in my grasp.

“Oh, yeah, yeah - sure. Here you go.”

Unlike Ria, I was no grouchy mama bear confiscating playthings. I handed the laptop to her wanting hands, no strings attached, and no restrictions to hinder.

“Thank you, Master,” Ash bowed her head again, clinging the laptop close to her chest.

“No problem,” I said, my cheeks no longer strained. “Okay… I think that’s all. Until tomorrow, yeah?”

“Tomorrow,” She affirmed, smiling back. “Tomorrow…”

Ash treaded a few steps back until she reached the foot of the staircase, from there, she took another bow towards Ria’s direction before turning back and finally covering the rest of the distance towards her bedroom door.

The resounding click of her door handle concluded our brief interaction.

Here comes now the interlude, approaching with the tilt of a head and with a snigger barely stifled.

“You guys are so cute together,” fawned Ria, her fingers wrapped around each other.

“Shut up,” I sniped at her while also failing to suppress the goofy grin I had. “It’s platonic.

“Uh-huh, sure it is.” A pat on the shoulder was what this calls for and Ria patted away at me like a proud mama bird to her flying hatchlings.

“Welp, tomorrow’s tomorrow,” She said, letting out a breath. “Yet alas, a love detective’s work is never done.”

“You ain’t done?”

“Never will be,” She piped up, both eyes and legs scouring around every inch of my body. “Fashion. Tsk, tsk, tsk… you’re hopeless. Lucky for you, I went to France. Even picked up a thing or two.”

I shook my head. “I don’t need any fashion advice from a - “

“Yes you do, hush yourself. We’ll be going out in a bit, prepare for that - in the meantime though...” Ria spun around to the living room, her arms spread far and wide as if hugging a large invisible teddy bear. “Adalia! Pancakes?”

“You… woke… me…”

“I know,” She said in a weak attempt at sounding apologetic. “But pancakes?”

Adalia’s eyebrow gradually became less furrowed. “Okay…”

Damn, when I accidentally wake her up, I get a few hours of pouting and the silent treatment. I gotta learn how to start making pancakes.

“Want some too, dear ol’ Master of mine?” Ria said to me along her way to the kitchen stove.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll bite.”

For now though… looks like I got me some clothes shopping to do today. What fun this will be, I’m sure.