The harrowing bleakness of the moonlit path was paved in an endless sea of red. The first indicator that things were not as they seem. Ash and her partner slowed to a crawl, sword, and bow drawn out.

Not far now.

Overlooking that steep grassy mound right ahead of them… where everything would change.

I remembered standing on that very same hill, perched atop amidst a scene of senseless slaughter.

That hill there was a threshold. Climb it, cross it, no going back from it. Can never unsee, never unhear the things that lay beyond its dreaded peak, and there was Ash… gradually ascending to its summit.

Wouldn’t have minded so much if it was just a video game, you know, just an assortment of pixels and polygons displayed on a screen. That it just wasn’t real…

But Ash made it real.

Her shock, her confusion, the horror on her face… they made it all too real.

“Master, what is…?”

“Keep going,” was my only response to her inquiring eyes."

No need for words, nor need for explanations. Asteria would answer for me. The blood-curdling screams blaring from the laptop speakers, the heavy crashes and tumbles of the violin in the background, and the gory visage strewed across the landscape, reflecting back in her emerald eyes… all of them answered for me.

If the developers went out of their way here to do their best to elicit a reaction from the player, then mission-fucking-accomplished - pat yourselves on the back, my dudes.

Unlike me, however, Ash had already recovered within seconds and continued delving deeper into the heart of darkness. Soon confronting her came the horrifying monstrosities of flesh and blood, shrieking out their cries of terror, lunging their malformed limbs at her with twisted intent.

Ash stood unwavering against their blows. I watched her closely there, saw her every button press, every split-second decision - utilizing tactics and maneuvers that I myself have never even thought of doing. The way she vanquished her foes… like it was all very second nature to her. Hell, it probably was.

The Elf-knight forged on into the village. There was a glint in her eyes - outrage, I surmised… from how her jaw was clenched tight. So much pent-up anger directed to the culprit responsible for all of this.

If only she knew… I wish she didn’t have to, but she was going to.

Screen went black.

Cutscene finally started.

Everything played out exactly the same way as it did last time, with buildings engulfed in flames, lifeless bodies in heaps, and mounds scattered across a vast desolate meadow of deep dark red, and there lying at the epicenter of scorched earth was that one pleading villager on bent knees with a sword pierced through his throat.

Gargling. Choking. Dying…

Leonardo brandished his sword and recited his line.

“I won’t let you get away with this! You servant of Evil.”

Then, expectedly, keeping to the beat like a scene from a play, came the laughter. Mad, derisive laughter.

First time through, having heard such a cackle, it unsettled me. Second time now… seeing those bloodied lips spreading from ear to ear - knowing who they belonged to.

I could hardly keep my eyes straight.

Ash. Poor, poor Ash. Her ears perked, her eyes sharp, seemingly at the ready for anything the game would throw at her.

Anything… everything... but for this.

“Evil?” Eshwlyn spoke out. “Evil implies that the actions I’ve taken were immoral.”

The camera slowly panned upwards.

Then there it was - realization dawning.

Those glittering emerald eyes that filled every inch of the screen mirrored back at Ash’s in ways that went beyond physical resemblance.

Elf to Elf.

Knight to Knight.

Ash stared into the deranged gaze of herself, her lips thinning to a narrow slit, and took in a heavy breath.

No questions came my way, no outrage to be heard. Ash silently watched as the cutscene unfolded, as Eshwyln continued on.

"Tell me o' great chivalrous one, what do you find so immoral about death?”

Words that resonated with Ash more than anyone else in the vicinity and that includes the reality projected beyond the border of the rectangular screen before us. Thought briefly about pausing, but ultimately decided against it… didn’t want to intrude, especially not here, not now… Ash just couldn’t tear away from herself.

She saw it all - Eshwyln through the looking glass. Every act of terror committed, she’d smile and she’d simper, a total inversion of Ash, who’d look on at herself without a flinch in her vacant expression.

It was a rather brief cutscene at least when compared to the many countless others that would come after.

Brief but yet so, so long…

The end couldn’t come soon enough, but eventually, it did... with the archer companion dead, Leonardo defeated, and Eshwyln reveling above him in pure ecstasy.

‘Just who are you?’ - were the last words of the great hero before unconsciousness would overtake him.

There were many questions that lingered still, many mysteries left unaccounted for. That was no question, that was no mystery… nonetheless the ugly truth reared in and leaned in glee, that devilish smile contorting Ash’s lips.

And so ended the stage play of revelations, with a curtsy and a bow from Eshwyln of the Old Guard, a servant to the Demon Lord Terestra - at our service.

Another cutscene was supposed to play after. The resulting aftermath of that devastation. It would have, had Ash not interrupted it with a press of a button.

Some unknown force kept my gaze deflecting, matters not how much I forced myself to - I just couldn’t look at her, at Ash.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Night and light painted shadows to the walls of her room, that there - that inky silhouette hunched over with its head tilted downwards, that I could bear to look at, that I could actually talk to…

And talk I did with nothing to say.

“Good reasons,” muttered me to the unfeeling shadow. “Like I said.”

Dared another peek, and saw the shadow move its head, a subtle nod once.

“Won’t ask if you’re okay. I know you’re not. I just wanted to know… you know… if you got what you needed from this.”

Her reply was short, simply… sorrowful.

“I did...”

Couldn’t help myself, hearing that - couldn’t stop myself from sputtering out even more baseless nothings that served no purpose other than to just fill the oppressive silence.

“I don’t think that of you. I just want you to understand that, and I really think you shouldn’t too. That - that Elf you saw… the things she did, you didn’t do that, that wasn’t your actions. Ash, that wasn’t you.”

“Wasn’t me?” Her voice was stiff. “Master, perhaps you should rewind the scene back and listen again. I believe I was being rather specific there with my introduction.”

“You’re not her...”

“I will be.”

“No, no, why do you keep doing that? Why do you keep insisting on that?” It was so vexing to hear that, so aggravating to the senses. Riled me up like nothing ever did.

“You still deny my nature.”

“To the very end,” I said, getting up on my feet. “I just wish you’d do the same for yourself.”

“So easily,” Ash muttered. “You deny the reality of it so easily.”

“I’m staring at the reality right now!” I said, my eyes locked onto hers. “How do you explain it? The kindness, the selflessness, the way you are now? If this isn’t you, then tell me - what exactly am I staring at here?”

Three hours was plenty of time to prepare. Three hours of just sitting and watching gave plenty of opportunities to run through imaginary conversations in your head. I did run through it in my head. Dozens and dozens of times.

What I’d say, what she’d say, the words she would use, and the things that I would say to them back. I even deluded myself to think that I have gotten it all planned out from the very beginning.

But the truth was, the game was rigged from the start.

Ash calmly answered my question with truths of her own.

“A lie. What you see in front of you is but a lie. A lie I so desperately wanted to paint as truth. A false image, a misinterpretation of what I truly represent… an outlier among outliers.”

“What are you talking about, Ash?”

“Have you encountered any other Elf beside myself? Have you bear witness to their mannerisms, their behavior, or even their way of life? You haven’t. Clearly, you haven’t. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so adamant as you are now.”

“I’m adamant because you think you’re them!“ I argued back. “You’re right, I don’t know any other Elves, you’re all I got to go by. But even if you’re right, even if all Elves are truly as evil as you say they are, that does not mean you have to condemn yourself with that same line of thinking, because you aren’t them! You aren’t evil!”

“Why is that, then? Because you yourself claimed it to be so?” Ash stood up, her eyes as furrowed as my own. “Master, I had years… centuries to try and defy my true nature, and I have. Master, I am still defying. But you can’t defy reality, you can’t go against the way things are… you can only accept it. I have accepted it. Who Eshwyln of the Old Guard was, is, and who she’ll inevitably turn out to be in the end.”

“Ash, you -!“

“Who I am and what I am now is just merely the result of this pointless defiance. Master, you saw who I really was just then… that was me, a me that finally accepted, a me that finally submitted to my nature. Did you notice how happy I looked right then?”

Happy? That was happiness? That sick twisted grin, that loud deranged cackle - that was happiness? To me, that was anything but. Yet Ash saw different, she still saw different… that strange look of longing in her eyes, what the hell?

It’s like you wanted that...

“So you being my servant, acting so nice to me… your kindness… that’s your defiance?”

“If I act kind, then maybe perhaps I will be kind.”

“You are kind!”

How did things get so off the rails so quick? How was it that I was shouting and not comforting? Anger, so much anger, surging through my veins, but why? I wasn’t angry at her, was I?

I didn’t know who was it that this irrational rage was directed towards until it finally happened, until Ash turned and smiled at me.

It was me. I hated myself. Because I had her smiling again for all the wrong reasons. I couldn’t provide any semblance of comfort, couldn’t convince her to see things my way, all I did was shouted and screamed myself hoarse at her.

There was no reason for that smile to be on her face. Unless it was for me… for my hurting, for my distress. That same gentle expression back at the park.

Just like back then, I couldn’t do anything for her and I despised myself for that.

“I’d like to believe that,” Ash muttered, her gaze dropping to the side. “Perhaps in time, I will. But for now, Master… it is late and I think it’d be wise to - “

“It isn’t real, Ash.”

Words that left not in a mutter, I spoke them out and I spoke them loud. A part of me wanted to think that I didn’t know what came over me… but that would just be me lying. I knew exactly why I said it, and why I didn’t just stop there.

“It didn’t actually happen. Asteria it’s - it’s just a game, a fake… a form of mindless entertainment for the masses, none of it actually happened… you can’t take this at face value because it’s all fiction, alright? If you’re evil, if you’re good - it doesn’t matter here, because in here it isn’t real. None of it was real.”

Ash stayed silent throughout my pathetic spiel. Once I finally stopped, she was still quiet. The only difference being from then to now was that there wasn’t a smile on her face anymore, nor was there even a frown.

Another difference was that she was staring, and she kept staring. Her glowing green emeralds shimmering the face of a man so full of ire and resentment.

I saw him, saw me, and saw a total stranger reflecting back. A face I didn't recognize.

Regret. If only it had come sooner… Ash wouldn’t have been staring at me the way she did right then.

“And what of me, Master?” she finally spoke, her voice going soft. “Am I real?”

“Didn’t mean it,” I said at once. “Ash, I didn’t - “

“I know,” There was that smile again, less prominent now than it was before. “I know you didn’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” A slight pause, with a slight grimace. “You don’t apologize, Master… not to me.”

“Ash, don’t start with that now, please. Your feelings - “

“Nine o’clock.”

“What?”

“It’s nine,” she repeated. “The… the Matriarch, she usually feeds at this hour, does she not?”

I could sense the unsteadiness, the stiffness in tone, didn’t take any Elf-ears to pick up on the words beyond those words.

“You’re making me leave?”

“No - I’d never… no I’m not! Master, I just…” A deep breath. “Give me time, please? I need time… alone. Just for now.”

Alone was the last thing I wanted her to be right then. The state of everything as it was, it was as much in flames as the village was back then. I realized, however, that this wasn’t a battle I would win.

Not with that pleading tone, not with that aching look. The one time I didn’t want a later…

It seems that laters were all that I was good for.

“Alright,” I told her. “Just for now.”

Took the stool, took my phone off the table and into my pocket, then I moved and reached for the laptop. Then just right before I could shut it close, Ash spoke out again.

“Could you… could you leave that one here?” She said, the controller still sitting firmly in one hand. “I… I haven’t finished yet.”

Another request, another look, another, ‘Alright.”

The opened door greeted me with a hallway dimly illuminated by moonlight rays that somehow had filtered through the window blinds.

It didn’t feel right traversing into the hall with nothing else to say from either of us. Yet regardless of what was right, that was what had happened. She opened the door, and I trudged along.

I had to say something.

She closes that door and that was it, everything that was ever said, everything that ever happened, it will all remain in that room there, everything as is will stay as is.

Door was closing.

“Ash,” I turned around. I spoked. “Tomorrow. Will I see you downstairs tomorrow? For Breakfast?”

A little crevice was all that kept the door from shutting close by the time I was done. A meager gap in the doorway where only I could see her slightly and she, me.

“You’ll be there, right?”

That was my say, now, what was hers? What could it be?

I should have known already… I was surprised that I was still surprised. Ash closed her door shut and offered nothing in words.

Nothing… except for a small smile peeking through.