Honestly it had been a long time since John felt this good though he had drunk a lot of screwdrivers now that he thought about it. To hell with it he actually felt like singing in public some thing he had stopped doing since he was 14 since he had been told "no girl her age should have such a deep raspy voice." and other shit like that. It got to the point that singing infront of people normally made him uncomfortable. These people though had come to show their support for him this was a first and it made him feel good. There were plenty of people blushing as the actual meaning of that last song finally filtered through drunken minds and even a few couples slipping way to see if that bear had the right idea on how to make a girl feel good. He knew he needed to slow down and change to water soon or he'd have another hangover from hell even if his stats were really good.

  Loki was feeling pretty damn good herself seeing John coming out of his shell already though he still kept a barrier up between him and most of the others but he was becoming more social slowly, more confident in how he was acting around others. Then he started singing mostly innocent tunes but sure enough the songs began to speak of love and sex hell even that last one was pretty interesting if you thought about the lyrics for a little while. However tonight she was going to see if John was all songs or was he telling them something more? Soon enough Loki realized that John was completely and utterly drunk using her to keep his balance more than having any himself deciding that he was not going to be getting himself sick on her watch Loki picked John up and carried him like a man would carry his bride across the threshold whispering into his ear that she was going to take good care of her little princess.

   John upon hearing this snuggled into her arms and promptly passed out feeling safe. Loki muttered a spell to help clear the alcohol from both of their bodies as Loki's mind cleared form the booze induced fuzz she noticed it felt much like she was carrying another woman home. She might have believed it to be the case if not for the slowly growing bulge in the unconscious mans pants and for what ever reason most of her Familia had trouble figuring out what pronouns to use with John most actually seeming to think John was a woman strangely enough the closer they got to home the more she could see why even as John's nightmares began yet again. They had nearly made it home before John began to make small sounds of discomfort in his sleep Loki kissing Johns forehead in an attempt to sooth him picked up the pace planning to set him in her bed so she could keep an eye on him she had noticed his habit of getting himself drunk just about every night and the nights he did not he often woke with a singular scream one that priced her soul. she would find out what plagued him some day till then she would do her best to be there for him.

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  John once more dreaming of what should have been soon began dreaming of what had been his teenage years being told that he could not participated in gym class that he would have to go to a gym and pay for a trainer there because the school was not equipped to deal with a student like him, being told that he could not go on anymore over night trips because the school could not afford to put him in a room of his own nor would they put in a room with others after the other boys found out that he was not only like them but just like the girls to, that had lead to his first time being raped... by five other boys before the chaperone intervened and if John was to to be believed had joined in but the school dismissed that. Instead of ending the trip then and there they put him with the girls John had still been in shock when the girls had made their discovery and it had turned out worse as they decided that they where going to try to become mothers John's mind broke a little more that night but what did the most damage where the parents when they found out the beatings and threats they circled his mind almost endlessly leading him to form his habits of dressing in a way that he could pass as a guy... but his confused stride always left people wondering if he was really a girl. John woke up screaming in utter despair looking around John saw an open door leading to a bathroom bolting inside past another door to the toilet where he promptly threw up his nights drinks he knew he had drunk plenty not to have had to deal with those dreams he knew that Loki had been kind enough to take him home but he did not remember this room and it was not his. Flushing the sour smelling mess down the toilet John went to the sink and rinsed his mouth out well before spotting Loki coming through the door he had passed by Loki was clearly just getting out of a bath and impossibly beautiful to Johns confused mind. It was Loki that spoke first, are you ok John I heard you being sick as I was getting ready to get out of the bath. Loki asked deeply concerned that John had drank far more than enough to do some real damage to his liver tonight though by the sounds of it this was semi normal that he drank so much.