TL note: The author included no author note at the start, this chapter. This may be due to the harassment they were receiving. I am unsure if the repeated chapter numbering was intentional.
It was the day of the fateful battle that would determine the fate of furry kind, capitalism, communism, Anime Ayn Rand, and the Garbage Kingdom.
The four commanders were standing opposite. Anime Ayn Rand would fight Lord Skunkcoat Vile, the barbarian son and Firemane would team up against Flying Fox and Toothy Dan, the barbarian dad would fight Spotty Spots the Spotted Spotter, and the eleven sisters planned to fight Fatty Catty (remember, he’s a rabbit).
It was going to be a fair fight, but then the furries cheated.
“Unleash the mine turtles!” shouted Spotty. Up from the ground dug thousands of turtles with buttons on their backs, making the battlefield a minefield.
Anime Ayn Rand was upset that they would cheat, but she expected no less from dirty communists. She would make them pay using her sword of value extraction.
“Don’t worry,” said the barbarian dad, “I cheated, too.”
From behind came a dog looking furry barbarian, riding a small fluffy regular dog. “Grandpa’s here!” he shouted.
“Grandpa is a furry?!” asked the son.
“Our family has a long history of both love and hate with furries, son.” the dad put a hand on his son’s shoulder.
The fight began when Blue Cookie Furry bellowed, “I love cookies!”
Anime Ayn Rand was prepared to use her sword of austerity cuts on Lord Skuncoat Vile, but he became invisible. She was lost, and began being beat up by him while she couldn’t fight back.
The son and Firemane didn’t do much better, because they couldn’t fly. Toothy Dan took a bite from Firemane’s tail as a flyby attack. “Spicy,” he taunted. Flying Fox shouted, “Woohoo!”
The dad jumped up, so high it was like he was flying, avoiding the mines entirely. He hit Spotty head-on, but Spotty split into spots that reformed into Spotty. Spotty winked.
The eleven sisters sat and ate junk food, as Fatty Catty did the same. They stared at one another and both picked up their eating pace, trying to out-eat the other. Fatty Catty was just too gluttonous, and increasingly grew very fat while the sisters only got full.
“Mr. Scruffles, take care of the mines,” commanded the grandpa to the dog. He got off and Mr. Scruffles ran around randomly, blowing up every mine turtle without a scratch. Meanwhile, he jumped into help the dad.
“Just like old times,” said the dad.
The dad cut up Spotty, and the grandpa cut up the spots. Spotty Spots was too injured to fight back, and the Lovers trapped Spotty in the mirror.
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
The son and Firemane, spurred on by the demonstration, worked out a plan. When Flying Fox and Toothy Dan attacked again, the son stuffed a mine turtle he picked up into Toothy Dan’s maw. Toothy Dan exploded, without which Flying Fox was just Fox. Then Firemane tenderized her for capture by the Lovers.
Fatty Catty let out a massive belch that shook the entire battlefield. The eleven sisters burped back, but it wasn’t powerful enough until branches of Toothy Dan landed in their mouths, which supercharged their burp past a belch and into eleven sonic booms! Fatty Catty passed out, and the Lovers trapped him.
That left only Anime Ayn Rand to deal with her enemy, Lord Skuncoat Vile. She couldn’t hit what she couldn’t see, and she was getting angry.
“Calm down and think!” shouted Firemane.
Anime Ayn Rand did, and instead of trying to use her eyes, used her nose. She sniffed out where Lord Skuncoat Vile was, and cut off his paws with her sword of regulation reductions. The Lovers absorbed him too, and the mirror was fully charged. The Class Glass could be used.
Blue Cookie Furry let out a roar, “I love cookies!” He transformed from his basic form, to a neon colored green and pink wolf with stitches everywhere, and an evil goatee. His final form, who the group would need to defeat!
Lilith crushed his head.
“Your Masters, Your Kings, Your Gods Are False And They Will Die. We Shall End Them So That You May Be Free, Eternally Unbound By The Great Lie. Recognize Your Fate, And Pray No Longer, For There Is No One To Listen But Us,” Lilith taunted.
“No, you’re stupid!” shouted back Anime Ayn Rand.
As everyone prepared for the final battle, a ship arrived.
Yet, it wasn’t the S.S. Garbage Kingdom.
It was a real ship, from the ocean, and it carried the pope!
“I come bearing the message of God, this unholy creature can not be allowed to live,” he said, and waved his hands.
A gigantic beam of light and fire descended from the heavens themselves, obliterating Lilith and most of the area surrounding here. Not even ash remained.
“We did it?” asked Anime Ayn Rand, confused.
“Daughter…” General Cat fell to his knees and cried. “I guess you are finally free from my chains…”
“We did it!” shouted Daily Lover.
Then, Daily Lover was bleeding from his chest. He was impaled by a horn.
A horn belonging to Nightly Lover.
“Lover…?” bled Daily Lover.
author note: oh god someone help!! help me!!
“God Has No Power Here,” was the reply.