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Murphy's Law
Chapter 16 - Don't mix friendship and...

Chapter 16 - Don't mix friendship and...

“We jump over the wall,” Salifa states as a matter of fact.

“It’s almost twenty meters high… I didn’t know bunnies could fly.”

“Do we look like lovely bunnies to you?” Salifa holds back one of her friends from rushing me.

“I never knew there was a difference.”

-Please don’t antagonize the murderous leporēs…- Jane facepalms.

-Whats that?-

-I believe it's the plural of lepus, which means hare in latin.-

-Oh. Since when do we know Latin?- I scratch my imaginary beard. In my mind, it looks quite manly and much more impressive than the current stubble I’m scratching in real life.

-We don’t, but I remember the wiki page and some of the Latin classes you had to take as a student.-

-You remember the wiki page for hares? I don’t even remember reading it...-

-Your mind does and I always had access to it. Whatever this system did for us it also made everything much clearer and easier to access.-

-You’re joking? That’s quite convenient actually. I’ve read lot’s of useful shit over the years. How far back can you go?-

-One moment. I’m still struggling to filter out all the porn...-

Jane closes her eyes and a throbbing pain starts to grow over my temples. The pain brings me back to the situation and I struggle to remember what I was talking about. Thankfully the view of three steaming, murderous half beasts reminds me. My conversation with Jane seems to have been fast enough that they didn’t even notice I had it.

“However, not knowing doesn’t excuse my words. I sincerely apologize,” I bow my head as best as I can from my lying position and continue, “However, the question still stands. I know you can jump high. I saw Simca almost hit her head on a ceiling, yet that and the wall are two different things.”

Taking a deep breath to relax herself Salifa answers, “It is how we got in and how we intend to leave.”

“I see… and is this a skill? Your stats? I ask because I’m wondering if your way applies to me as well.”

She ponders my issue for a moment and I’m wondering if I should move over to the small cot as the floor is getting uncomfortable. Pulling up my pants and buckling myself I wait for her to continue as the silence stretches.

“I do not know,” she says finally.

“That is not the hardest part, however,” she continues with an unsure voice, “Even if we manage to take you with us, you are a liability that will slow us down and cause our exposure.”

“Oh…” I scratch my stubble as her words sink in.

“We need to travel fast. Unseen and under difficult conditions. Your presence will be a risk to us all.”

My headache is getting stronger by the second and the tip of her dagger is edging closer in my direction with each sentence she makes.

“Don’t worry your sweet little butt over that,” I fake confidence and blow her a kiss, “As a hero, I have this unique skill that will make sure we avoid trouble.”

-Even if we have to advance one hour at a time.-

“I’m guessing the problem is my lack of sneaking and hiding skills?”

Instead of answering one of her companions, the only one who hasn’t shown any aggression toward me yet, takes a step back, disappearing into the shadows as my jaw drops slightly. A moment later her hand appears from behind me, closing my gaping mouth and giving me a gentle stroke on the cheek before disappearing again as I turn my neck around to look behind me.

When I turn back the gorgeous half beast is standing back in her place behind Salifa, smirking at me seductively.

“Impressive. Can you teach me that?” -I’d be more impressed if I haven’t seen the hooded figure do better in the cell, but flattery never hurts.-

“With time. Something we don’t have the luxury of,” Salifa puts a hand on Simca’s head in a protective gesture, “How fast can you complete your part?”

My headache disappears as suddenly as it appeared while I take a moment to ponder my next words.

-Good question. Care to share your plan with me first?- Jane summons a comfortable looking bean bag and drops into it.

-You don’t know? I thought you can read my mind…-

-I can. But now that you’re completely aware of me I believe a certain level of privacy will keep our relationship healthier in the long run.-

-Why so?-

-A few reasons but my main concern is keeping you sane,- a flat screen T.V appears before her, blocking my view.

Mentally switching my view of her to the side I can’t help but agree with her, -It might also help us with forming opinions on things without us influencing each other's thoughts. Or at least keeping the influence to a minimum considering you say you have full access to my mind…-

-Ohh… Are you scared of what I might do?- she grins and her tail twirls in the air happily.

-Terrified actually… but there’s not really anything I can do is there? And even if I could I’m not sure I want to.-

-Ohh… you really do love me,- she says sarcastically and blows me a kiss.

-Whatever… demon,- I run away from my inner thoughts but not before making sure she knows this conversation isn’t over and that I also want an explanation on why our interactions seem to happen at impossible speeds.

“I’ll be honest with you sweet buns, I don’t really know. I’ll need to find out if it's possible first and figure out how it's done, but my line of thought is to try and turn Simca’s public crest into my private one,” I give Simca a smile, “Do you think that might work?”

“I don’t know...” she looks down and moves closer to Salifa, “But I heard of slaves getting new crests as their work changed.”

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

Her eyes suddenly jump to Salifa and she begins to radiate happiness, “There was even a fox-girl taken as a personal slave by a noble. They must have given him full control over her.”

-Say you do that, what’s to stop them from killing you and setting the brat free?- Jane gets up from the bean bag and starts to pace back and forth in my mind.

-A certain failsafe that I doubt wasn’t implemented if these slave crests are so common. If not... - I hold Jane to stop her nervous pacing and give her a hug, -Then a lie or two should keep me safe long enough to change their minds. They clearly aren’t that knowledgeable on the matter.-

My stomach rumbles and I realize I got everything I needed from them, for now.

-The rest can wait until the next iteration.-

So with a few last words and a promise to return tomorrow, I rush to the dining room. There should be some time left before Ralc comes to take everyone to the dormitory and I hope to grab some leftovers to munch on.

I reach it just in time to make myself a few sandwiches from what tastes like cheese but looks red and some yellow colored meat.

“Where’d you disappear to?” Elsa comes over to question me as I’m rushing from table to table, scraping whatever is left into a sandwich as well as some takeaway back to the room.

“I’ll tell you later. In private,” I lean over to whisper in her ear, “I found out some troubling things about this world.” I look her in the eyes after to convey that I’m serious and go back to gathering food.

Satisfied I have a reason to meet her privately in her room later, I drop the food I gathered for my second and third sandwich and ask her, “Can you make them, please?” I sit down and take a big bite of the one I’ve prepared before she came over to talk.

“You’re joking right?” she looks offended and annoyed.

-Did she really just get triggered over a sandwich?-

“Not really… Are you? It’s just a sandwich. I wanna finish them before Ralc gets here.”

“Good for you. You can make them yourself then,” she turns and walks away.

-I think she did,- Jane shakes with excitement, -Oh it’s gonna be so fun trolling her,- her tail wags excitedly.

Annoyed I throw a fruit similar to a plum at her back, making her turn back to look at me.

“Don’t run away. I thought we were friends so I asked you to help me by making me something to eat. What the fuck set you off?”

-You're no fun...- Jane pouts.

“First of all, we aren’t friends. Second of all, I don’t make anyone sandwiches but myself,” she grabs a plum of her own and chucks it at my head.

Grabbing the thing out of the air I take a bite of it.

“Whatever you say, princess…” I wipe away some of the juices that dripped from the sweet and sour plum onto my chin, “I don’t care if you think I’m your friend or not. I like you, so I decided I’m gonna be your friend.”

“That’s not your decision to make, asshole.”

“Yes. Yes, it is. You can act like a stuck-up princess as long as you want but I will treat you as I would a friend and there’s very little you can do to change that,” I take another bite of my sandwich and with a full mouth, I give her my best smile.

“That’s not how friendship works,” she comes closer pointing a finger at me, “Friendship is a two-way street and I refuse to be friends with conceited pieces of shit like you. Thank you for sparring with me and breaking my face but I’ll appreciate if you know your place.”

“It was my pleasure,” I put the last bite in my mouth, “Want meat on yours or are you vegan?”

She glares at me.

“I’m not. Thank you for asking, but I always wanted to try not eating meat and this…” she holds up a yellow piece of meat, “might be a good chance to try being a better person. New world new rules and all that other nonsense you kept spouting all day long. And I’d appreciate if you don’t change the sub...”

“No meat it is,” I finish off two sandwiches while she rambles away and hand one to her, “Bon appetite.”

She takes it, not really knowing what to do with it.

“You can make me one tomorrow. Come, Ralc’s here.” I drag her off before she gets a chance to start ranting again.

Thankfully, Ralc’s explanations of our sleeping arrangements as well as the comments on our surroundings as we walk are interesting enough to distract Elsa from continuing her argument with me. However, since this is the second time I’m hearing this, after getting Ralc's assurance that if I want to leave the palace I just need to show the Hero's mark and walk out the main gate with no-one to stop me, I keep myself busy by trying to figure out the patrol routes of the paired royal guards we keep on passing.  

By the third pair of guards I see Elsa nibbling on the sandwich I made her so I come closer to annoy her.

“How's the taste?”

“Dry and bland.”

“I see… I think it’s just missing some meat,” I shrug my shoulders.

“Or you’re just a terrible cook,” she shakes her head in sympathy, “It’s okay though. I’m sure you’ll find a nice guy to cook for you and keep your bed warm at night.”

“As long as he’s better at giving head than you are, you won’t hear me complain,” I shrug, “Won’t even be hard to find considering how low you’ve set the bar.”

We continue to bicker all the way to the dormitory. At which point I bring up the subject of this worlds slavery and gain entrance into her room.

From there our conversation, unfortunately, very quickly digresses into politics, both this worlds and ours. Even worse is the fact that our views are opposite from each other and none of us has access to the internet to back up our claims.

As this is the second time I’m hearing some of her claims I’m better at countering them, however, I am much less patient and I keep interrupting her since I already know what she’s about to say. We argue for almost two hours, by which point I realize that saving the situation is highly unlikely and give up on trying to sleep with her.

With the reason I approached her gone, I spend the next hour or so debating her with renewed vigor until Inga knocks on the door asking us to lower our voices.

“Don’t worry,” Elsa says softly to Inga, “He was just leaving,” she adds with icy resolve.

Back in my new room I lie naked on the bad and replay the conversation over and over and over in my head.

-What do you think would’ve been a better response to this Jane?-

-Nope. I’m done. Not doing this any longer,- she summons a king size bed and drops into it half naked, -You want more of my help with this waste of time, you’ll have to entertain me first.-

Making herself comfortable she spreads her hands and caresses one leg with the other seductively. Her demon tail moves slowly from her legs to her abdomen and between her bosom until it lifts to her mouth. Giving it a light kiss she winks at me and motions with her tail for me to join her.

Reluctantly I start kissing her beautiful dark red legs, making sure I make the kissing noise of each peck audible in the space of my mind.

Mounting the bed I keep my hands straight and wide as I move up the legs. In this position, with my head lowered while I’m on my knees, Jane is presented with a great view of my upper back and shoulder muscles. All of which are much more defined in my mental image of myself.

Skipping her nether region I kiss and gently bite her lower belly as I move, in small circles, up her midriff and towards her chest where my kisses follow the path her tail took between the two mounds.

Instead of lifting myself to her mouth I explore her neckline, while the hand I’m not using to support myself with, presses and squeezes her thighs and sides.

I investigate Jane’s body for what feels like hours but is probably no longer than a few minutes of real time. I notice small imperfections that have no place on something that’s supposed to exist only inside my mind. From small flat moles to a few scars, these blemishes affirm that she is, undeniably, a sentient existence with its own volition and maybe even history.

An existence that puts its hands on my head, trying to direct me towards her breast but exerts no force I can feel at all. Disappointed she can’t affect my imagined body she clicks her tongue and sighs as she gives up on trying.

-You’re not gonna fuck me, are you?-

-I have no intention whatsoever of doing that,- I flop down on top of her and she struggles underneath my weight.

Apparently, while I can’t feel her, she can. Evident by the way she’s wiggling and squirming now and while I was teasing her earlier.

-Why not?- she asks once she manages to escape from underneath me.

-I have nothing to gain from it,- I turn on my side, looking at her and trying not to let my eyes wander lower than her jawline.

-Fuck you!- she spouts and puffs.

-You wish,- I wink my eyebrows at her and smile a half smile.

-Yes. For years. And now, thanks to this system, your objections are no longer viable so what’s your excuse now?- her tail points it’s arrow-shaped tip at me.

-Hmm…- I scratch my impressive imaginary beard, -Because it won’t feel good?-

-You don’t even like sex anyway,- she harrumphs, annoyed.

-Good point...- I play with my beard looking for a better excuse.