"The enemy of-, what?"

The monkey is looking at me weirdly again. Have you no ears to hear with?? No brain with which to comprehend my words?!?

"Yez, friendz. Az muzh az the idea... dizguzts me, we botzh have a... a zommon haztred for ze zuperheroez. Pompuz little prickz, don't you zhink?"

He smiles, borders, on a laugh, before maybe actually putting some thought into what I said. Or maybe he's just wondering if 2+2 equals 5. It... it wouldn't be surprising, with a man as daft as this. Satan below, I wish I was anywhere but here. Maybe it isn't too late to flee to Argentina? Start up a new life as a swarm of ordinary, down-to-earth mosquitos? No? Very well.

"...Aren't you a superhero?"

And now, it is my turn to be silenced.

Unholy-,, what a flabbergasting individual! How has he survived until now??

"No, zou ztupendouz fool!!"

I might just have intentionally made that a little louder than needed. But he deserved it!

"Then, uh, what are you-?"

I grin. Maybe I needed this question more than I though I did.

"Why, a Zupervillain!"

If I had a lapel to rub or a moustache to twirl, this would have been the perfect moment to do so. Wait... my antennae! Kakakaka, perfect!!

I twirl and untwirl my antennae, gleefully observing the confusion building on the young man's face.

"Um... okay. Sure. So, you're against superheroes, right?"

For some reason, he smiles just a little there at the end. I nod, but he couldn't see it since I am too small. Grr.

"Yez, indeed."

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

And then, he sinks right on back into shallow thought.

"But what does that have to do with robbing a hospital?"

-Hm. Okay, before I answer, let's think here for a moment. Son of a cop. Doesn't like superheroes. Doesn't seem like he even knows what a villain is. Maybe, just maybe... I shouldn't tell him what a supervillain is-? As foolish as he seems, he did track and capture me, a virtue I would otherwise punish with death. Thus, looking down on him is not a think I will do twice.

I need to persuade him that I am more of a friend than an enemy, as he likely won't consider stealing the blood of innocent civilians to be anything less than a war crime.

"...Zhere iz a hero. In zhe hospital?"

"..."

"I aim to dizpoze of him."

Please don't question it I just want to get out of here and then you'll never see me again. Come on, take the bait...!

"...Huh. Alright, sure. As long as no civilians get harmed or anything, I'm rooting for you, Mr-, what's your name, even? Oh, I'm Travis, by the way."

...Name? Shoot, this is the perfect moment to finally give my villain name! Dark god below, I've been thinking of names for a hundred years-,, Darkstar? Vampire God? Ender of World? Sin? Legion? Bloody Friday?? Unintended Nightmare??? Death Incarnate????

Shithsihtishithishithishithishiths-

"Call me... the Itzh."

"The Itch? What? Dude, you can't be serious."

"Zilenze, mortal! My motivez are beyond your understanding!!"

For some reason, Travis doesn't seem any impressed. Maybe I should have chosen Legion, for I am many?... Dear satan, I am horrible with names. Whatever! To the devil with it all!

"So, uh, wanna like, play Mario cart or something?"

"...Traviz, let me out. I have a lot preparationz to do."

Travis grumbles something but does open the window. Right, thank you. Goodbye, loser! You have been DUKED! I'll be back to suck you dry once I've gotten my name out there, once the ITCH is not only FEARED but also a WORRYING THREAT!!

And with that, I bid adieu. Come, my underlings, let us take our leave!

Me and my 500 underlings happily exit through the window, and unlike the last time I did this, I don't actually plunge like a drowning swan through the air, no, I fall gracefully, followed closely by my beloved cohorts. I can barely hear them cackle behind me. Very good. It seems Travis took us quite far away from my lair, but finding it won't be hard. The pier is over there, so I just follow it, and-,

"ZHING, KABOOM, KA-KLANG!"

-What the fuck-,,

A, a building just blew up. Like just-, something flew through it, and now the building is gone. I-,, who-?...

There's someone down there! Not flying or anything, but like... Jumping around? And-, and he isn't alone. No, someone is fighting him! Shooting out blasts of something, soaring through the sky on a beam of light, like-, like some sort of comic book hero!

I hover mid-air, observing the ridiculous battle from afar, my breath hitching here and there as one pummels the other. Until, anti-climactically enough, a bunch of helicopters appear, people and police shouting at the people, and, well, honestly? I just left. Went to the pier. I did so almost alone. I sent out 400 out of my 500 Thieves to go get me some blood, and in the meantime, I returned to our lair.

...I'm weak. I'm strong for a mosquito, but... That? Those were real superheroes. I can suck a human dry, but... Until I can suck a hundred men and women dry in less than a second, I will be nothing.

...I look forward to it! I have no clue what kind of powers they got, if the can see the screen and their status, but what truly matters is whether or not they can grow stronger. As long as there are humans I can draw blood from, I can grow more powerful. Unless they have that sort of potential, they are nothing. The second I outgrow them, they will never catch up.

Now, all you Thieves who have stolen your fill! Return to me, let me-,

Thieved Blood to be used: 12 897 B

...Now, what's this-?

Could... Could this be?? The skill I've desired so long, The skill to be able to use the Blood collected by my minions remotely??? 

Ohoho. Ohohohohohoho.

...Good!!

By the sounds of it, it's only able to be used by my Thieves, but that is more than enough!! Yes, alright, time to recreate my army, with yet another layer of hierarchy!!

And once I've got everything ready, nothing will stand between me and that blood bank!