"From people. I refused. Eventually, a nurse got fed up, grabbed a scalpel, and nicked herself. I assume she thought it would entice me. It did. I couldn't..." His voice wavered, and his hand tensed in mine. "I couldn't look away from the blood. A million different ways to get it flashed through my mind, and I was absolutely disgusted with myself. I knew that if I didn't get her as far from me as possible, as fast as possible, that I'd kill her. I, rather violently I'm afraid, threw her out of the room. I barricaded the door with everything that wasn't nailed down. And a few things that were. Then, I took her scalpel and..." I could tell he was forcing himself to sound casual, but it was painfully obvious that he could hardly get the words out. "I didn't take into account how fast vampires heal. By the time they got in I... My wrists had already stopped bleeding."

I had no idea what to say. TS had as good as told me that Thomas had tried to kill himself, but it was different, and somehow even worse, hearing Thomas say it.

"The problem was that I was in a non-magic hospital," he continued. I looked at him in confusion, knowing he could see my expression. I wasn't sure how that was connected. "The longer a magic stays in a non-magic hospital, the more likely it is that a non-magic nurse or something stumbles in. Even worse when you have a vampire, especially a newly turned one. The scent of human blood was everywhere and, quite honestly, it was probably making things harder on me. They wanted me to get somewhere safe and away from humans. I was there for another two days, both while they made arrangements and to keep an eye on me. I was pretty apathetic at that point. I didn't really care that I hadn't died, but I didn't care enough to try again. When I didn't make any more attempts, they decided it was time to go." He sighed. "I guess they thought I'd be happy to be somewhere familiar... So, they sent me home."

Home. He probably hadn't been home since he'd been with Hylay. If he'd been nineteen, though... "You didn't live with your parents, did you?"

"Yeah. As you can imagine, it really wasn't the best place to go. I was hardly there for a day before I tried again."

I gasped in horror. Since he had started talking, I had been dreading the moment when he got to his suicide attempt. I had no idea he'd tried more than once. I opened my mouth, but couldn't speak.

"Jen!" he said, sounding almost alarmed. Before I could react, he pulled his hand free from mine and brushed a fresh tear off of my cheek.

I quickly wiped away another and turned away, embarrassed. To my surprise, he grabbed my hand again and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"I don't have to go on. I'm sure I've said enough."

"No, I... I want to know," I said softly.

"Okay. Well, obviously it didn't work. I put a little more thought into it and..." He sighed heavily. "They said that if they had found me any later, or if the sun hadn't been down, I..." I heard him swallow and let out a shaky breath. "I wouldn't have even made it to the hospital."

An awful, morbid curiosity almost drove me to ask what he had done, but I wasn't sure if he wanted to tell me. Or if I wanted to know.

"The burns took over a week to heal," he said. "And now that you know how fast vampires heal, you know they were pretty serious."

I nodded, afraid I'd start crying if I spoke. I'd already seen a couple of vampires catch on fire. The thought of it happening to Thomas was almost painful.

"So, once again, they had no idea what to do with me. They couldn't keep me there, sure as hell couldn't send me home. If they sent me anywhere else, I'd probably just try again. Everyone kept saying that I just had to hang on a couple more weeks and I'd feel better, but I didn't care at that point. I think I would've, too... but something changed my mind."

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

I had to ask. "What?"

"The werewolf puppy."

"How?"

"He visited me as soon as he was allowed and spent the entire time crying. Seven-year-old kid. You remember when your sister was that old, right?"

"Yeah." It had only been two years ago, and Emily's behavior was still fresh in my mind. "Everything is melodramatic."

He laughed, and I was relieved it sounded genuine. "Exactly. He whined about how vampires aren't supposed to be easy to kill, and I have to be careful and all that. I'm still not sure how I reached this conclusion, but I suddenly realized that the poor puppy had been through almost as much as I had. His entire class and his teacher had been killed in front of him. His sister was almost killed, too. I realized that I really was his only friend, and that if I died, he'd be devastated. Who knows, I could have screwed him up for life. I didn't know it at the time, but the little guy had soul-pack bonded to me. If I-"

"Soul what?" I asked.

"Ah... That's kind of complicated..." Thomas said. "I promise I'll explain that later."

"Okay."

"So, I figured that little kids always have a new favorite thing. I thought that he'd get sick of me in a week or two. Make some new friends, get on with his life, and..." Thomas hesitated. "I decided I'd just wait a little while and then... put an end to it."

I squeezed his hand, hoping he'd understand that I just didn't know what to say. He returned the gesture.

"After I was healed I got another visit. The MES agent."

"The one who saved you?"

"Right. I was... even less happy to see him this time. He talked with my doctor, and I pretty much ignored him, until he made an offer. He said I could go live with him and his wife until I got back on my feet."

Suddenly something clicked. "Jon?" I asked in surprise.

"Jon." I could hear the fondness in his voice. "I wasn't very happy with the idea of moving in with a human and his wife. I was afraid I'd hurt them. Of course, as you know, Natsuki turned out to be a dryad, and dryads..." Thomas laughed. "Well, dryads are walking stakes. So, I moved in with them. The thing is that during that first month things only get harder. If you get three weeks in and haven't killed anyone, then it just gets harder and harder to control yourself. I felt like I was going insane. And then the month ended. I was at day thirty-four. I woke up that morning and just... felt a little better. It was amazing. With every day that went by, I started to feel more and more like myself again. I mean, I was still pretty upset, of course. But somehow things just... life just didn't seem as bleak. I started staying up later, enjoying being able to see in the dark. And... Well, here I am." We were both quiet for a long time. Finally, he gave my hand another squeeze. "To answer your question, yes, I'm happy now."

"I'm glad," was the only thing I could think to say. We were silent for a few more minutes. I turned the story over in my mind, letting it sink in. "What happened to the puppy?" I asked. "You said he... bonded to you? Do you still keep in touch?"

"Keep in touch? I can't get rid of the mutt!"

"I heard that!" TS yelled from the other room.

"You were meant to!" Thomas laughed. "He even eavesdrops on me. It's terrible."

My jaw dropped. I felt like such an idiot. The puppy he'd saved, who had turned around and saved Thomas, was TS. I was still having such a hard time thinking of Thomas as sixty-two. I kept thinking of the little puppy as a child, not an adult. I'd also assumed that TS was closer in age to Thomas.

"You realize we have to get up in two bloody hours, right?" TS asked.

"Yes, we do," Thomas groaned. "I'll save the bond stuff for another time, okay Jen?"

"Okay."

I was feeling pretty tired, physically and emotionally. I settled back in my hammock, thoughts still whirling. I couldn't believe what Thomas had been though. As I drifted off to sleep, I realized that he was still holding my hand.

After we woke up, I went back to my cabin to shower and change clothes. Kaitlyn kept apologizing for locking me out, but I assured her that I had managed and hadn't spent the night out in the jungle. After breakfast, we split back up into our groups for the day. Each group had their own route, and we'd all meet back at the lodge for lunch. I wasn't paying much attention to the hike; I couldn't stop thinking about Thomas and what he had told me. We stopped to look at a huge tarantula, and for a couple of minutes, it was a welcome distraction. When the group started moving again, TS held me back. When everyone else was farther away, I turned to him.

"What is it?"

TS pointed off the path. "Wood sprite," he whispered.

I looked where he was pointing but didn't see anything. "Where?"

"Watch carefully."

TS took a step forward, and something in the underbrush moved. It looked like a small tree trunk, but tree trunks didn't have eyes. It blinked at us, turned, and scampered away.

"Neat," I said.

We hurried back to our group and joined them by a large tree. Our guide was talking about long distance telephones, and I had no idea what had gotten him on the topic. Suddenly, TS jerked in surprise and let out a soft, startled yelp. Before I could ask what was wrong, I heard a distance boom, like thunder.