TS nodded.

"How?"

"Nobody knows. And nobody knows if the witches and wizards involved turned themselves into the first vampires or if they turned others. But now they had a way to take ordinary humans and turn them into magics. Imagine an innocent servant, human one day and a dhampir the next. You'd have no idea. Before that, the idea that a non-magic could become a magic was absurd. And you've seen what damage a dhampir can do. If you didn't know how to kill one, you'd be helpless. Then, they had access to an army. Limited only by the number of humans they could find. I mean, God, they could even turn an enemy wizard into a vampire!"

"But that would be stupid, wouldn't it? Then, your enemies would be able to make an army, too."

TS smiled. "You're good. That's exactly the problem they faced. These people... Well, they had to be pretty twisted to come up with the idea in the first place. It's no surprise they took it further."

"Further?"

"When someone is turned, it takes several days to fully turn. They start healing faster and are able to feed almost immediately. But the strength, the enhanced senses, they all take a while. And it isn't just physical changes. It's mental, too. Their brains are rewiring."

"Thomas mentioned vampire instincts."

"Right. There's a period, somewhere between twenty, even forty days, after someone is turned, when they're mentally vulnerable. There's so much going on inside that their brains can't quite handle it. They end up irrational and emotional. Their inhibitions are lowered. And... there are violent tendencies. They're hungry, and they crave blood. All by design, of course."

I thought of the way Mark watched the fight. He looked almost mesmerized by the violence. "And that's what's happening with Mark?" I asked. TS nodded. "So, he couldn't help it when he staked the dhampir!"

TS sighed. "And that is the problem. Vampires were literally created to be evil. When they're first turned, if they kill someone, and most can't help but kill, something in them... snaps. It satisfies them. Then, everything—the cravings, the violence, the inability to control themselves—gets worse. No matter what they were like as humans, they change. They almost always kill again. Then, again. And depending on how strong they are mentally after enough kills... they go insane."

I felt almost sick. "Insane? Like, actually insane?"

He nodded sadly. "They turn into monsters. Whatever humanity they had is gone. They're beyond reasoning, beyond sanity. All they want to do is kill and feed and cause suffering." He was quiet for a moment. "Imagine turning that loose on your enemies. Imagine someone you've fought alongside for decades suddenly showing up and slaughtering everyone."

I couldn't help but shiver. "So, Mark is going to..."

"Maybe not. He's only killed once. The risk of going insane only lasts for that first month. After that, it's all right. Vampires, or dhampirs, who only kill once or twice, even three times, are... Well, they'll always have more of a violent tendency than they did as humans, but they can live normal lives and learn to control it. If Mark makes it a few more weeks without another kill, he should be fine." TS was quiet for a moment, then frowned. "That's part of why so many people hate vampires. The idiots don't take the time to learn, or just don't believe, that after the first month, a vampire isn't going to snap. They think that perfectly sane vampires will just one day go crazy for no reason. And that's not how it is. If they keep their sanity through that brief period after they're turned, even if they do kill, they'll be as normal as you and me for the rest of their lives."

I wanted to know how many people Thomas had killed, but couldn't bring myself to ask. What if it had been two or three? Or more? I believed TS that Thomas wasn't just going to go completely insane, but what if he did have trouble controlling himself? It was a little scary to think about. I'd seen what vampires were capable of. But, on the other hand, it was the same with Dani and Charlie to some extent. At least Dani and Charlie were elementals. Typhooning or erupting or whatever they called it was part of their nature. Thomas shouldn't have ever had that problem. He never wanted to be a vampire. I had to feel bad for Thomas, too. Was he constantly afraid he'd hurt someone? It must have been awful. Nathaniel's laugh echoed in my head. He was clearly insane. TS had made it sound like they were irrational, but Nathaniel seemed too cunning.

"You said if they kill too many, then they're beyond reasoning?"

TS nodded. "They lose their minds, entirely."

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"What about vampires like Nathaniel? He..." I heard his laugh again and shuddered. The awful image of Nathaniel pinning Thomas to the ground flashed in my mind. "He obviously enjoyed hurting Thomas. But he seems..."

"That's a different breed entirely," TS said sadly. "Vampires like Nathaniel are the worst. The ones who do go insane don't live long. They just start killing mindlessly until they're killed. But sometimes, you get someone who... someone who was already bad as a human. The kind who go around kicking puppies for fun. The abusive ones, the criminals. There's something about their brains that... Well, they end up keeping whatever sanity they had. When they kill in that first month, it just twists them more. They already enjoy causing suffering, and after being turned, they just get more pleasure from it. But they do get warped. You get someone who was just a bully who ends up a complete, sadistic nutter."

"Like Nathaniel." And probably the vampire who had tortured Dani.

TS nodded.

"If it's so easy to lose control and start killing people before the month is over, then... are most vampires bad?"

TS was quiet for a while. "More than most. But, not for the reason that you think."

I frowned in confusion. "Then why?"

Once again he took a long time to answer. "Well, most dhampirs do just snap. They don't know any better, and there are rarely magics around to stop them and help them. Vampires... well, witches and wizards, know how it works. Turnings are always violent. The vast majority have lost their familiar by the time they're turned. And then they wake up and..." TS sighed heavily. "And they've turned into the same monster that made them suffer. To make it worse, they're emotionally fragile and fighting all of these awful cravings and desires to hurt people and..." He fell silent again. "And most are afraid that they'll kill. Some do. And they don't want to risk it. They don't want to live as monsters."

"But they don't have choice. If they've already been turned..." A lump caught in my throat as TS’s words sank in. They don't want to live as monsters. "They kill themselves?" I asked in horror.

"No sane witch or wizard wants to be a vampire," TS whispered. His voice nearly cracked. "They're already mentally unstable after being turned. Once the thought 'I'd rather die than be a monster' crosses their minds..."

"That's so..." I couldn't think of a good word. Sad. Terrible. Awful. None of them seemed strong enough. Suddenly I couldn't breathe. I opened my mouth and could hardly speak. "T-Thomas..." I couldn't even finish.

I already knew. If Thomas had lost his parents at the same time he lost his familiar, it must have been when he was turned. I knew even as I closed my mouth, unable to get the question out. I knew as TS turned away from me, even before I saw the tear slide down his cheek. He changed and lay down with his eyes shut tight and his ears and tail flat against his body. My eyes started stinging with tears, and I tried desperately to think of something, anything, to change the subject. Poor Thomas. God, I'd had no idea.

"Did they win?" I blurted.

TS raised his head, and even though he was a wolf, I could swear he looked confused. "What?"

"The people who... who made vampires. Did they win the war?"

His ears came up a little. "No. Good thing, too. If anyone twisted enough to dream up something that cruel had won, there's no telling how awful the world would be today."

We were quiet for a long time. My tea was cold, but I sipped it anyway, just for something to do.

TS shifted his weight and rested his head back on my leg. This time, I didn't hesitate. I dug my fingers into his fur and closed my eyes. I never had a dog of my own, but I did love them. There was something undeniably comforting about petting one. It made me feel a little better, and I hoped that TS felt better, too. He moved his head a couple of minutes later.

"He's almost back," TS said.

"Okay." I wiped my eyes, hoping Thomas wouldn't notice.

Hardly a minute later, Thomas came in. He looked much better than he had before. But he looked worried. "What happened?" he asked the moment the door shut.

"Everyone's fine," TS answered. "Got a call, too. Mark's all settled in."

Thomas looked as confused by TS’s answer as I was. He clearly thought that something, somehow, had gone wrong. "That's good," he said, still not looking convinced.

"Jen and I were having a bit of a serious chat."

"Oh."

I eased TS’s head off of my lap and stood. "I guess I should get back to my room."

Thomas shrugged. "You might as well stay, just to be safe. There is an extra bed." Then, he actually flushed and turned away, not meeting my eyes. "Sorry about taking yours last night."

The memory of waking up in bed with him made me blush, too. "Don't worry about it."

It was fairly warm in the hotel, and Thomas pulled the blankets off of both beds and piled them in the middle. Before I could ask why, TS curled up on them like a dog and yawned. I wasn't quite tired, but I'd woken up with too much on my mind, and I felt almost overwhelmed. I was lying awake long after I was sure Thomas and TS were asleep. My head spun with questions, none of which I wanted to ask Thomas. I didn't think I could ask them. I wasn't even sure I wanted to know the answers. Maybe I really was tired or maybe stressed, but just the thought of Thomas trying to kill himself made me want to cry. I tried to think about something else, but the conversation with TS just kept replaying over and over.

"Thomas?" I whispered. No answer. I wasn't sure what I'd say anyway. A silly part of me may have just wanted to hear his voice.

My mattress sagged down to one side, and I felt something cold and wet press against my cheek. If Shannon hadn't owned a dog fond of jumping on beds I would have screamed.

"He's asleep," TS said softly. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, I just..."

He licked my cheek. "He's alright, Jen. Don't you worry."

One of the awful questions tumbling around my brain got stuck. I had to ask. If nothing else, I had to know the answer. "TS?"

"What?"

I turned, leaned down, and pressed my face against his ear, praying Thomas was still asleep. As quietly as I possibly could, I whispered, "When he was first turned... how many people did Thomas kill?"

TS licked my cheek, again.

"Not a single one."