Josef gripped the barge's railing. Riles heaved stroke after stroke into the placid lake water, angling the barge through the space between two gigantic sewerbreeze mushrooms and onward towards the far side of the cavern. Josef knew his desperation was palpable. Riles kept shooting him anxious glances every second stroke.

As they passed through the channel between the two mushrooms, Josef stared at their tan skin and reached out to touch one of them. Claudius made a noise but John explained they were completely safe.

Josef grinned and let his fingers drape across the mushroom's slimy exterior. Its skin was surprisingly firm to the touch and caused a slight, warm tingle to shoot up through his fingers and into hand and arm.

"Do you know if these sewerbreeze mushrooms have any herbal properties?" Claudius asked, inspecting them as they drifted by.

"They do indeed, they do indeed," replied John. "They're a kind of purifier. You'd have to check with the local apothecaries if you wanted to know more. They grow miniature versions. Were you looking to acquire some for your collection, fishman?"

"I'll need to learn more, but perhaps," said Claudius absently. Josef could see all of the Sea Gwell's attention was pouring into a detailed inspection of the looming fungi as they continued to creep through the floating of field of mushrooms.

As they pulled forward, their barge's light wavered in the darkness and reminded Josef of the fireflies back at the pond. That perception grew tenfold as he saw the multitude of vessels carving across the lake water further ahead of them and behind them as well. They all appeared to be rowing towards the same thing — layered slabs nestled against the water in the distance and full of vague faces. It looked as if a stadium or a theatre had been built right next to the water itself.

They broke past the final towering sewerbreeze mushroom and Josef immediately saw a new form appear on the lake water. Perched on a granite slab, and away from the shore, was some kind of giant slide or statue. In the distance, Josef could see the vague faces resolving themselves into the elated grins of sewerfolk. Hundreds were seated and talking.

Josef couldn't believe how close they were now. Every forward pulse of the barge brought him closer to ratification. He had to restrain himself from jumping out and swimming the rest of the way to the shore.

Then, all of a sudden, the slide moved and puffed out a halo of dark green and ruby red feathers. A head revealed itself, but it was turned away, facing the crowd. Josef felt his heart skip a beat. He glanced at John whose eye's were transfixed on what now appeared to be a feathered snake or sea serpent resting on the granite slab.

"Mal," said John reverently. He bowed his head as they approached. Josef was stunned, his thoughts darting back to the strange eel-like statue he'd seen bobbing along in the sewer water back when he'd first escaped.

Josef could still only see the back of the creature's head. He guessed Mal was as tall as Greytusk, The Crow Meadow's central tree. A brief flicker of Primfeather and his desperate request sprouted into his mind but then rapidly left.

"What, exactly, is Mal?" Josef asked, inspecting the the feld's coiled ruler.

"Mal is Mal," said John. "Mal is not a feathered eel, although many short-lived insolents have made that mistake."

Riles turned towards Josef, eyes downcast. "Mal can only leave her feldhovel on Moonsneeze. We owe everything to her. Those mushrooms," Riles said, jerking his head at them while taking another stroke, "were a gift from her."

"For patronage," John clarified, "she only asks us, her feldlings, to supply her with beautiful music each Moonsneeze." John then busied himself with trying to make his ripped clothes more presentable. "This is the third time we've requested Lancel to perform for Mal. He's one of her favourites."

For Josef, time seemed to slow. Lights flickered and beckoned within Gangdrup's moss-ridden gloom. Deep in his brain he knew they were moving forward, but the exact opposite seemed to be taking place. Hurry, hurry, hurry, was all he could think over and over again.

Up ahead were a series of jutting docks. Riles directed the barge towards them. The dock's boards were fashioned from a deep brown wood and the same moss which grew on the jumbled and stacked houses prospered here as well. Each mooring stall also had its own lantern, as if multiple harvest moons had been captured and hinged to rusted iron rods.

Josef could see several barges already leashed to the dock, the biggest no larger than twice the size of Hilgooth. Riles threw his oar into the purified sewer water again and again, guiding them closer to an open stall.

"See that building there," John said, pointing his elongated forefinger towards a towering four-story building. A waterwheel spun ferociously along its side as blue-tinted water gushed through a rocky channel. "That's The Backwards Flow. One of Gangdrup's finest inns. If you survive, Josef lad, it might be a place worth checking out."

They were now passing alongside Mal who was still perched on the same rectangular slab of stone. A feathered eel was a good description, but it didn't entirely fit the bill. There was something to her face, now that Josef could see it in profile, that was almost cat-like, like a cheetah without the spots and less pronounced cheekbones.

Without warning, her face turned and inspected Riles's barge. Minuscule orange feathers covered her nose and eyes. Josef had no doubt she was looking directly at them. The water lapped ominously against the barge's hull. He felt the same way as he had when the crows had flocked all over his body.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Mal's gaze brought their barge to a standstill. Riles stopped rowing and lowered his head, offering his hands out to the ruler of the feld. John did the same. Josef almost lunged for the oar and rowed himself, but he was equally in awe of the gigantic sea creature now appraising him. Did she eat people? It was a possibility. He didn't dare move a muscle.

And then notes from a harp came flowing through the dark and dank air. Mal swivelled her head back towards the the central dais, which was located in line with the central aisle but extended further into the lake and closer to her by way of a small stone path.

Claudius leaned in close to Josef. "First contact achieved."

"Good," said Josef. "Hopefully no introductions will be necessary and she can ratify me straight away."

And then a falsetto voice drifted over the lake water, accompanying the harp's lulling and rising notes:

Have you heard of a place

Not far from another world.

Lonely waters, giant mushrooms

Blue light lighting up a fresh fog—

No one visits…

No one visits…

A dank world so far

So far from other worlds—

No cries, no stars.

But in its dazzled dark

There is a song

All sing

To make their mark:

For the sewers

Belong

To us!

For the sewers

Belong

To us!

Josef mouth dropped open as he watched Mal, the strange eel-like ruler of the feld, begin to bob her head along to the music. The harpist was playing a glitzy tune and Mal appeared to be excessively entertained.

"What in the world…" Josef began, the words tumbling from his mouth. He noticed John was snapping his fingers along to the harpist's plucky rhythms as well. In fact, all the sewerfolk Josef could see were swaying their heads and enjoying themselves while he could die at any second.

That juxtaposition, his looming death and the theatre's enjoyment, was nearly unbearable. Luckily Riles hadn't stopped to dance with everyone else and was still actively careening the barge towards an open space along the dock. Josef watched in awe as Riles flicked his oar on its side and peeled it through the water with a gentle curve, sending his barge rotating into a mooring spot.

Josef darted free without waiting for the barge to come to a standstill. He sped down the dock and towards the theatre. He would be ratified, now.

"Josef lad! Wait till—" John cried out.

But Josef sprinted as fast as he could towards the performance. He had no idea how much time he had left. Moonsneeze could breakdown at any second. Great measures were both necessary and warranted.

He sped down the aisle stairs sloping between the two sides of seats. Audible gasps could be heard as Josef took the stairs three at a time. The harpist, singing and playing yet another chorus line (For the sewers, Belong, To us!) glanced over his shoulder and ended up bungling an arpeggio.

Someone from the crowd yelled, "Stop him!" as Josef darted along the stone path and towards the confused harp player. He would gain his audience with Mal. Josef knew she'd seen him. He couldn't waste a second.

Claudius, still back among the theatre crowd with John, whispered continuously, "This is how he dies, this is how he dies," as he ran full-tilt after Josef.

"Mal!" Josef shouted over the harpist's agitated plucking.

"Shh!" hissed the harpist, obviously displeased Josef had commandeered his show-time. "This is her favourite song, you dimwit!"

Josef ignored the harpist and stared at Mal, straight at her orange feathers creeping around her golden eyes. A forked tongue slipped out from between her invisible lips as her eyes took in Josef once again. She was no longer bobbing her head.

Claudius and John skidded to a halt behind him.

Josef cleared his throat. "Mal…I need to be ratified. Now."

The snake-like water creature cocked her head to the side, looking askance at Josef as if she were deciding whether to crush him, hiss at him, or bat him into the lake. But then she spoke with both candour and disdain: "The harpist was right, goo-drinker. That was my favourite song. You've taken it upon yourself to interrupt it while wearing…a rag sack?"

Josef looked behind him and saw both John's and Claudius's anxious and worried faces. The crowd, even further behind, was standing, some with their fists in the air. Josef couldn't be sure, but he could her them jeering "Upworlder! Upworlder!" in less than pleasant voices.

Mal seemed to relish their chanting. "So you want to be ratified, do you, goo-drinker? This is a bit of a novelty for me. I admit it. I haven't performed a ratification for septujinnys. The last goo-drinker took some of my favourite feldlings off on an adventure and never returned."

"I'm not looking to steal away any of your feldlings," Josef sputtered out. He quickly needed to make her understand. "I just need to be ratified! I have no idea when Moonsneeze will end and if I don't get ratified my brain will go everywhere and I just want this to end. Please help me."

"Don't worry, goo-drinker," hissed Mal. "You have less than a minute left." Her forked tongue once again darted out from her mouth as her feathers flicked outward from her skin, giving the impression her body had doubled in size.

Josef swallowed. Had he just heard her say less than a minute? He stepped forward impatiently. He was sweating. The harpist inched away from him.

Josef placed his short sword down on the ground in front of himself and kneeled. He didn't know what else to do. He needed to get ratified or else the entire theatre would soon be treated to a gruesome performance, one not involving a harp. "Please ratify me. I tried to go to the Crow Meadow already but they couldn't do it."

"Ten seconds," Mal said, flicking out her forked tongue while continuing to stare at Josef.

"What…" cried Josef softly. He was delirious, close to tears.

"Nine seconds," Mal continued, watching Josef wilt. "Eight seconds."

"What do you want from me? Please tell me what you want and I'll do it," Josef pleaded. He looked back at Claudius and John. They were both stunned.

"Seven seconds," hissed Mal, smiling as Josef squirmed.

But then John stepped forward. "Mal, Maven of this feld, Guardian of Ferngloom Lake, Queen of the Sewers, I, John Wayles, ferryman and fisherman of these same sewers, do request you ratify this goo-drinker." John spoke as quickly as possible and kneeled alongside Josef, extending his cupped hands towards Mal. Josef followed suit.

"Four seconds," Mal said. Josef was stunned — had she not heard John? Had she completely ignored her feldlings request? Josef started to shake. He couldn't breathe. What was going to happen to him? Why was she doing this?

"I beg of you Mal," John shouted hoarsely, "please grant my humble request. Ratify this goo-drinker."

"Two seconds," Mal said, smiling.

Claudius suddenly stepped forward. "The sewerman broke his sacred oath! He was supposed to ferry us to The Crow Meadow!"

Mal flinched, but then said "One second," and smiled.

Josef's fingers came to his head. Would this be his last thought? Would his last thought be him thinking about his last thought? He saw Mal's face staring at him. He felt a tear on his cheek. He heard the crowd roaring.

Then Mal said, "These things are never precise." Josef couldn't stop himself from shaking. What had she just said? He couldn't think. His heart pressed itself against his chest.

"Lancel," Mal said, tipping her nose towards the harpist, "now that they're quiet, please finish the song."